I’m 31m, is it unethical to go after a 23yr old girl that I know?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-09-23T13:23:55+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)

scythe7 · 2024-09-23T04:47:46+00:00

No. Go for it.

cassydd · 2024-09-23T04:48:49+00:00

As long as the lady is capable of making her own decisions and there are no egregious power dynamics at play I don't think ethics really get a look in. If you're too old she'll let you know.

Riffage · 2024-09-23T04:53:44+00:00

No. Anyone that tries to shame you the age gap is just jealous.

Rightclickhero · 2024-09-23T05:24:56+00:00

From someone in a similar position, the age gap isn't terrible and will shrink over time. I don't see the harm in going for it so long as you don't abuse the inherent power dynamic in experience. Be mindful, good, and enjoy it if the situation works out, more than fair if it doesn't.

Snkrsmny · 2024-09-23T04:52:14+00:00

I’d say find a 23 yr old that doesn’t have a kid but if you’re fixed on her then go for it man!!

McNothing_Burger · 2024-09-23T10:50:00+00:00

Ill give you the math: (Age/2)+7. I like to include a rule to round down as long as they aren't a minor. So for a 31 year old male, yeah date any girl 22 and above. Or even 21, idk.

As long as both sides are consenting adults, I don't see the issue.

Legitimate-Joke7602 · 2024-09-23T11:45:00+00:00

Dude I’m 33 and one of my last fwb’s was 21yo girl (in my country the legal age is 18). Stop listening to the woman who are jealous because they’re old. When they were younger, they often hooked up with older guys, this is normal and this is how things are always been.

Goldliner6263 · 2024-09-23T09:35:54+00:00

it's fine.

ZenoGeno · 2024-09-23T06:32:00+00:00

Bro why do people hate age gaps so much? If an 18y/o can create an onlyfans and make content with 60 year olds, why are we shaming 30 year olds for having sex with 20 year olds, mindboggling.

UC18 · 2024-09-23T07:00:01+00:00

Nope. Ignore people that shame you for age gaps. I've found its usually either bitter women or jealous men. If your heart's in the right place and she likes you, go for it. She's a consenting adult

StarSmink · 2024-09-23T05:33:24+00:00

If you are being respectful and she is willing, nothing wrong with it at all.

KingProf- · 2024-09-23T04:53:04+00:00

and? you are not 50 but only 30y old. whats problem

Confident-Hand1808 · 2024-09-23T08:07:07+00:00

No. She's an adult

MCOP214 · 2024-09-23T04:48:57+00:00

Bro you’re 31, why do you want to have a relationship with a girl that has a kid?

doubleoh72 · 2024-09-23T10:48:26+00:00

It’s never the age gap, but the age that it started. For example, a 23 year old dating a 31 year old is okay, but a 21 year old dating a 16 year old is weird. My parents have an 8 year gap too. Go ahead my guy.

Teenagedevelopment · 2024-09-23T08:10:18+00:00

No just GO

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-09-23T04:43:25+00:00

Well, most people that care about age gaps generally have the rule of "Half your age plus seven". So mathematically, you're good.

mdeeebeee-101 · 2024-09-23T09:36:33+00:00

That age gap is nothing...I was considering it with that age and I'm far far older than you dude.

WendigoBarbarian · 2024-09-23T06:29:14+00:00

No lol. What two consenting adults do is their business, certainly not the business of a bunch of Redditors.

m2niles · 2024-09-23T07:31:54+00:00

MouseAware809 · 2024-09-23T08:30:09+00:00

People are always going to say stuff, whatever you do, who ever you date.

Don't base your life on them.

SwagYoloJesus · 2024-09-23T12:20:21+00:00

I love how men as a whole have been cucked so hard that it even crosses someone’s mind that being romantically involved with an adult in their mid-20s can be considered unethical. there is no legitimate argument regarding the age gap of two people well into adulthood not to be romantically involved.

anyone whining about the age gap between consenting adults is a female version of neckbeards crying that women go for chads.

thenameless685 · 2024-09-23T10:01:20+00:00

Has long as she is over 18 you good

SalamanderNo3872 · 2024-09-23T10:01:28+00:00

Not not at all. It's perfectly normal.

Lakinsky · 2024-09-23T10:05:04+00:00

Age formula for men your age divided by 2 + 7

So 31/2+7=23, so she is in your age range

Nigelthornfruit · 2024-09-23T10:18:39+00:00

No , best to do it in person and not rely on DMs like most former colleagues do.

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-09-23T10:46:09+00:00

For something casual? Definitely not unethical. For something serious? Not necessarily unethical, but you may struggle to find commonalities with her.

mitchENM · 2024-09-23T11:25:59+00:00

Not at all

nycfunn420 · 2024-09-23T11:51:58+00:00

ZealousMulekick · 2024-09-23T12:04:41+00:00

I’m a firm believer that the issue is absolute age, not age gap. An 18 year old and 25 year old? Weird.

After 21 though fair game for any age imo. It’s just about achieving emotional maturity

robulus153 · 2024-09-23T12:23:57+00:00

It’s okay, but keep in mind, she’s at her live life stage while you’re closer to settle down stage. That’s a general rule not a final rule. Studies show increased pleasure upfront but decline over time due to being in different age ranges. That being said, If it’s mutual sure, try it.

P8ANTOM · 2024-09-23T12:56:18+00:00

Behave like a gentleman when u do

djduni · 2024-09-23T12:58:21+00:00

Maxim rule of manhood says half your age plus seven so — green light.

karmakiller3004 · 2024-09-23T13:06:04+00:00

LOL 31 year old asking if dating a legal adult is "unethical". Who failed you? Are you just a late bloomer?

Oddname123 · 2024-09-23T13:16:37+00:00

She’s an adult. Ask her out, follow her lead. I’m 33 and was seeing a 23 year old for 6 months. It didn’t work out obviously because she was young still building her resume in her field but it was fun.

Texan2050 · 2024-09-23T13:17:34+00:00

I’m 30. My girlfriend of 9 months is 21. She’s been through a lot and if you would of told me she was 20 when we met, I never would have believed you

shadowfalcon76 · 2024-09-23T06:18:39+00:00

Harkness Test it.

Are you both adults? Can all parties involved consent?

If the answer to both is "Yes," then nothing else matters.

ballfond · 2024-09-23T07:10:52+00:00

If you don't someone else will

floaton345 · 2024-09-23T08:30:53+00:00

age gap is fine if she likes you. don't be creepy. If she's into it it's fine. It's a gap, but we see much worse in france. Not that we should model ourselves of france. LMAO

antctt · 2024-09-23T08:34:20+00:00

How did you start talking to her at work? I have a girl at work that i like, but is from a different department and we don’t ever work together. How can i approach her?

TrueKeyBoardWarrior · 2024-09-23T10:38:40+00:00

No. It wouldn’t be unethical if she was 18, 19. 20, either. Go for it!

Edit: Oh she has a kid? Eh… that changes things.

Love_JWZ · 2024-09-23T12:36:45+00:00

Rule is your age devided by 2, add 7. Youre 31/2=15,5+7= 22,5.

You're in the clear.

And this is the rule, but the law in many places is like 16. Do with this information what you want.

nait136 · 2024-09-23T10:15:21+00:00

Certainly unethical.

stochastic-36 · 2024-09-23T07:48:24+00:00

Half age plus seven is the heuristic.

floaton345 · 2024-09-23T08:31:37+00:00

due to the age gap, you should def be more timid than you usually would be. 8 years is not huge, but it's a bigger deal the younger the girl is.

JustNefariousness625 · 2024-09-23T12:02:05+00:00

Depends on your plans if you just gonna pump and dump get an older chick if you want to start a family do it.

climaxingwalrus · 2024-09-23T08:18:20+00:00

If you have to ask..

Kasmyr · 2024-09-23T08:25:54+00:00

It's ethical to date 16y, but wait 2y+ before doing sth

floaton345 · 2024-09-23T08:32:11+00:00

think Andy and April in Parks and Rec season 2. That's exactly the balance you're trying to strike. GL

Title	I’m 31m, is it unethical to go after a 23yr old girl that I know?
Author	rben2292
Upvotes	62
Comments	92
Date	September 23, 2024 4:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fncfax/im_31m_is_it_unethical_to_go_after_a_23yr_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-31m-is-it-unethical-to-go-after-a-23yr-old-girl.1531105 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531105

Comments