Main problem of promiscuity is not even the n-count itself

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-12-17T13:28:25+00:00

No new N count or looks posts. Make your post as a comment in the weekly thread if it’s the applicable topic for this week, otherwise wait until next week.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-12-17T10:09:24+00:00

I'm thirty, I've slept with two women, both of whom I've loved. I've been offered casual sex plenty, but I have no interest and to be honest, I don't have interest in being with a partner that does want have an interest in casual sex either.

I bring this us to draw attention toward any bias I might have.

But that being said, I'm pretty jaded. I think that's just something age does to you in general. I've definitely gone from looking at people in general in a positive light to looking at them more negatively.

Life just sort of beats that enthusiasm, easy high level of trust and belief that putting all your hope into something that youth grants you.

I don't engage in casual sex. I don't get into relationships with partner who do. But life and time made me, and a lot of people my age that I know distrustful and jaded.

Maybe I'm just from a really unlucky place, but life has taught me not to be too invested, or hopeful, or to think too much of certain things, because you'll just be hurt or let down.

It's been a while since I've been in a relationship. About a year now, and I'd like to think that I'd still maintain all that enthusiasm for my partner that I had in my late teens and early twenties, but who knows. Maybe my edges are just all worn off by now. Even in terms of that.

cornersfatly · 2024-12-17T10:02:06+00:00

The problem being described here isn't promiscuity, it's insecurity. It's possible to worry your partner has 'one foot out the door' even if you've been their first and only romantic relationship.

Affectionate_Way7132 · 2024-12-17T09:45:44+00:00

Your last sentence is definitely untrue. There are insecure people all around that question even the most committed partners for no reason other than their own psyche.

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Gravel_Roads · 2024-12-17T12:32:52+00:00

I want to try and reframe what you're saying into "what it sounds like to me", but I definitely want you to correct me if I have it wrong.

"Some people are afraid that you enjoyed you're life before they met you."

Because I don't know how my response can be anything other than "If someone hears that I had fun in my past, and it makes them angry and jealous, I don't want to date that person."

There are people who DON'T get jealous when they know you've had partners before them. Ideally, you're dating someone who's had partners before, too.

These are the people I prefer to date.

EetinAintCheetin · 2024-12-17T11:44:46+00:00

Let me offer a contrasting opinion that might actually blow your mind.

By and large, society puts women, who have sex into two categories. The first category, society tells women:

“If you choose to have sex with a man for your own reasons, because you enjoy sex or because you find the man funny, or you think he’s cute, or you like his style, or you like his shitty bar band, or because you are lonely and were just feeling extra horny that night, and you have sex with him without expecting anything in return for your sex, well that makes you a…….”

What’s the word there? We all know the word. It’s a nasty, four letter word that starts with an S**t. I will let you fill in the blanks. In other words, a woman who has sex because she chooses to do so for her own reason, is giving herself away for nothing and therefore she has no self respect. Wow! Have you tried telling a man that doing something because he chooses to do it for his own reasons, despite what other might think of him, that this means he has no self respect? I don’t think so.

The second category that society puts women in is the actual opposite of this first. This is the woman who is definitely not giving it away for free. She actually chooses to charge for it. It maybe a straightforward transaction: “I will suck your sick for $100” or it could it be as simple as “I don’t do coffee dates, either take me out for a fancy dinner or don’t bother”. There are a million variations to this, of course, but it always involves some kind of exchange of goods or favors in exchange for the promise of sex. Society calls the type of woman who charges for sex a…..you guessed it! Whore, hoe, hooker, prostitute, etc.

So let’s summarize. The only two options a woman who actually wants to have sex are to be either a SLUT or a WHORE. There are no other options. A woman has casual sex with whomever and whenever, she’s labeled a slut. A woman decides to have very high standards and demand that she receive dinners, commitment and other exchanges of goods in return for her sleeping with a man and she’s labeled a WHORE.

Then there is of course one variation to the second category: this is the woman who chooses to make her sex exclusive to one buyer for the rest of her life under a contract. That woman we call another nasty four letter word….WIFE.

See, it makes zero logical sense, hence why we men often think that women are crazy. They are crazy because we make them so. You are seriously judging someone for having sex with whomever they choose out of their own volition and for their own reasons as someone who is unequivocally broken and damaged? That makes zero sense to me.

If you claim that a woman who enjoys sex just to enjoy sex is incapable of being loyal or committed to one man, actually says more about your own lack of confidence in yourself and your sexual skills. Your post is driven by fear. The fear that someone better looking, better endowed or better skilled will come along and steal your girl away. And if she’s experienced other cock, she’d be tempted much easier. As opposed to the woman that you had to take out on several dinners and court over months and practically beg to sleep with you. Her, you had to work so hard to get that you know other men will have to work super hard to get as well. As a matter of fact, you are pretty certain she doesn’t even like sex very much, because after you spent all this time courting her and buying her stuff, she slept with you only a handful of times and you haven’t had sex in months. She’s definitely not going to be tempted by another man.

Did I get this right?

FairwayBliss · 2024-12-17T11:33:35+00:00

Being scared that a woman will leave you if she had (one or more more) partner(s) before you, is a sign of deep rooted insecurity. Usually not a trait many women appreciate.

If you are focussing on things like ‘promiscuity’ and ‘n-count’ over finding your own special good match, that insecurity will stay and will stop you in your ways.

DiligentRope · 2024-12-17T13:12:39+00:00

I strongly disagree, the issue is deeper than that and the fact that other men were so deeply intimate with the women they love the most. Not just about not being good enough.

If you showed a man a video of his girl getting railed by her previous lovers (even if it was just one or two), it would drive him to insanity.

Virgins were sought after through all of history for a reason, its just that today men have been guilted into believing valuing virginity is predatory, and so now the standard has been shifted from virgin/non virgin, to low/high body count.

James_M_Croft · 2024-12-17T11:31:55+00:00

I don't think men have a rational reason for prefering low n women. It's like saying men like big breasts because it signal a good mother or some other bs. its just natural preferences. Trying to rationalize it is just wrong

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Barneysparky · 2024-12-17T11:49:29+00:00

Person 1 N count of 1, unfortunately that one partner became abusive over time and cheated. Their parents are divorced and hate each other.

Person 2 N count of 3, all from relationships. No abuse reported, they just didn't work out. Parents are divorced, they are not close to their family.

Person 3 N count of 20, no relationships since high school. Parents have a good solid relationship and the family is close knit, this person just didn't want a relationship until they got their ducks in order.

The ability to attach with another person and build a life with them does not come from a lack of swapping spit with others, it comes from having secure attachment.

You can quite easily see who has secure attachment unless they are acting in a few dates BTW.

For instance of you try to Neg someone with secure attachment it won't work. If you try to get sex from someone with secure attachment before they are ready, it won't work. They will talk positively about their lives, loved ones, and the future.

All these posts about how many penis, not one about childhood trauma. Makes you think.

Title	Main problem of promiscuity is not even the n-count itself
Author	Cultural-Ad-8486
Upvotes	0
Comments	47
Date	December 17, 2024 9:27 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hg70ag/main_problem_of_promiscuity_is_not_even_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/main-problem-of-promiscuity-is-not-even-the-n.1538762 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538762

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