What is your line for cheating?

wtknight · 2025-01-12T18:06:42+00:00

My wife and I both say that certain celebrities are attractive. That's not cheating to me unless one of us starts sending messages to them.

I wouldn't care about just liking photos either. I think actual verbal communication with romantic intent is where things cross the line.

leosandlattes · 2025-01-12T17:34:38+00:00

Why would googling celebrities be cheating? I don’t care that my man looks up porn on occasion, but I don’t think he does all that often anyway which is why I’m okay with it. We live together and both work from home, so typically when we are in the mood, we are always available for each other.

Cheating for me has to involve a person with whom they are interacting and developing some sort of bond or special interest. So it does not actually need to be sexual. But “work wife” and things like that are forms of cheating.

GoldSailfin · 2025-01-12T17:48:02+00:00

Having celeb crushes is cheating? Someone better inform Ray Romano about that hot sex dream I had with him, cuz now I need to be dumped.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-01-12T21:57:08+00:00

If she's trying to hide it - it's cheating.

Bloody_Mandrake · 2025-01-13T07:48:44+00:00

Every morning when my girlfriend wakes up, the first thing she does after giving me a good morning kiss is turning on her phone, opening IG and sends an "I love you ❤️" message to Lionel Messi.

It's not cheating because I do the same too.

Worst case scenario he reads her texts some day and tell her to come over.

We are done I mean... I would be so jealous of her.

No homo tho. I'm like... Messi-sexual. I would be gay for Messi, but no other.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-01-12T17:44:33+00:00

Don’t do anything you wouldn’t be ok with your partner knowing about. If you’re making an effort to keep something a secret, it’s probably cheating.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2025-01-12T18:16:22+00:00

Porn, romance novels, vampire love stories, IG, 50 Shades, erotica, trashy reality shows... it's all the same to me. It's content created for titillation and indulgence in fantasy. If you're in a relationship then you are fantasizing about someone (real, imaginary, or an actor playing a character who is a mix) who is not your partner.

I'm fine with all of it. I can't police her mind. Almost certainly I've been sitting next to a girlfriend watching a movie while she feels a bit of lust for some hot guy on screen. She probably also checks out other guys in real life sometimes.

To me it's only a problem when it becomes an obsession or prolonged fixation on a particular object of desire or otherwise the consuming of the content interferes with our relationship or sex life.

It's a vague boundary because it's a vague issue. It's a fool's errand to try to make sure your partner never has lustful thoughts about anyone else, at least in passing or incidentally. They probably will regardless of almost anything you do. You have to trust your partner on some level. If concrete negative effects on the relationship emerge then you communicate and deal with it.

That's how I see it anyway. You can have whatever boundaries for your relationship that you and your partner agree on.

TheRedPillRipper · 2025-01-14T10:39:32+00:00

What is your line

When I perceive my trust as broken. It doesn’t even have to broken. Even just the smallest bit of doubt, if not addressed sufficiently, can snowball into the death of the relationship.

AutoModerator · 2025-01-11T19:32:29+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

DoubleFistBishh · 2025-01-12T18:04:43+00:00

Its a bit more nuance for me. Porn is fine as long as he isn't neglecting our relationship. Liking photos is technically cheating and I would simply ask him to stop. Something like sneaking off to a strip club is technically cheating and we would have a serious talk about it. Meeting up with even the intention of having sex is absolutely cheating and grounds for divorce.

AreOut · 2025-01-12T19:28:28+00:00

just don't do to others what you wouldn't like to be done to you

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-01-13T15:31:59+00:00

I think cheating requires a level of dishonesty. Each couple has to decide what they would like present in their coupling. If they don't agree, they generally shouldn't be dating, and if they do agree, then not following those rules is cheating.

Cheating also has to require a thing you can't control or a thing that directly affects or can affect your partner, and can't include things that would restrict your basic functions. Having a crush isn't cheating because you can't control that. Having female friends or Water-cooler chat with a coworker isn't cheating, because being social is important, including with members of the opposite sex. Masturbating without porn isn't cheating (the inclusion of porn may be cheating depending on the decision of the couple) because it's a natural physical and mental release.

edjohn88 · 2025-01-14T12:53:29+00:00

In my opinion, having any interest in what she does on her phone is going to signal insecurity. If you have legitimate reasons to check on her and enforce something like “planning infidelity” then you are probably past the point you could even prevent it.

I know this isn’t a solution really, but the point is if she loses enough respect for you that she is capable of cheating, your turn is over and the best thing you can do is care less and be prepared to go in different directions.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2025-01-14T13:15:09+00:00

My line of cheating? My partners having romantic or sexual interactions with others behind my back.

Specified_Owl · 2025-01-15T18:07:01+00:00

I don't think humans are monogamous, so I would never believe any promise to not cheat in the first place. Therefore, no pain when it happens.

TowerRough · 2025-01-14T06:31:59+00:00

We both cheat on each other.

Title	What is your line for cheating?
Author	krmbg3750
Upvotes	5
Comments	29
Date	January 11, 2025 7:32 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hz3rnw/what_is_your_line_for_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-line-for-cheating.1541018 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541018

Comments