How does a guy navigate being short(er) in todays dating world?

juliuspepperwoodchi · 2025-01-23T21:38:45+00:00

I promise you, you care about your height WAY more than the women you're looking to date.

OccultEcologist · 2025-01-23T22:22:41+00:00

Being short is going to eliminate a small but surprisingly vocal minority of women from your potential dating pool. I wouldn't worry about them, they're generally not that fabulous a partner to begin with. Trust me king, you can do better.

Something to note is that height, dick size, and finances are 'easy targets' for mean people trying to chip away at a man's self confidence. The fact that it's so culturally accepted as a stereotypical trait that determines attractiveness contributes to this like an oroboras - you are self conscious about your height because people will use it to insult you and people use it to insult you becuase you are self conscious about your height.

Personally in my top 10 most attractive guys I've met in real life, I know that two of them were my height or shorter (and both were already taken when I met them, too. One is currently dating my cousin and the other has been married for 8 years and currently has a 4 year old girl with his highschool sweetheart.) and I'm only 5'4". Another 3 were about your height or shorter, including one of my long term partners who I dated for 18 months before he had to move across the country (I couldn't go with him).

The main thing you need to focus on is your interests and goals outside of dating and then finding a partner who shared those interests and goals. For example, my current partner is one of the sexiest men alive to me not just becuase he's pretty, but becuase he and I share a love of 1970s science fiction, bad sitcoms, volunteering locally, home improvement, cooking, dark/inappropriate and stupid humor, and food preservation among other things. Just yesterday, in fact, we finally got a chest freezer for our garage, which we're both stupidly happy about! It's small and stupidly cute, though unfortunately not quite big enough to hide a body in.

If you have interests that don't really jive with being shared with people, look for ways to expand them interests in a way that may be more palettable for another person. For example, if you love anime and the like, maybe investigate if there are any local classes on how to make authentic ramen at home or study japanese gardening techniques and the like. Obviously those are super stupid and oversimplified examples, but the illustrate the point. There aren't a lot of chicks obsessed with RC drones, but you can definitely meet girls with landscape or wildlife photography hobbies.

Outside of engaging with your hobbies and interests and making a point of bonding with your partner over shared ones, you should also focus on basic fitness, cleanliness, and fashion. Trust me, any man with a good hairstyle and the right button up is going to have gals drooling over him. This is particularly an important point if you are more interested in hookups than long term relationships.

Good luck and godspeed, I genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey!

FellasImSorry · 2025-01-23T21:33:04+00:00

You “navigate” it by being a decent, worthwhile person.

I’m not sure where you hear all the things you hear, but it’s total horseshit.

And you really don’t get the difference between what you see online and actual life?

You’re being fed a lot of content because you engage with it is some way, and that’s making you think it’s universal, but it really isn’t.

In the real world, knowing how to talk to people, being comfortable in your own skin, and not being being bogged down by a bunch of online nonsense is how you attract people.

PrestigiousUse7751 · 2025-01-23T22:43:36+00:00

At 5’7, you are still three inches taller than the average woman. I’m 5’4 and I’m not that picky about height and I only care about a guy being taller than me at least somewhat even if that is only one or two inches. 5’7 would be fine with me and plenty of other women feel the same way. You can attract the right woman by being genuine and a decent human being. Work on your hobbies, go to the gym, take care of yourself, good hygiene, wear flattering clothes - basic, simple things. Figure out a style that works for you. Prioritize your mental health and peace. Try not to make dating complicated and just show up as your authentic self and you will attract the right women. It helps to see the opposite sex not as an intimidating other species but as a person just like you are that wants the same things.

Aware_Illustrator_81 · 2025-01-23T23:02:52+00:00

Hello, I’m also 5’7 as well, and I’m right now actually seeing an awesome girl for the last 1.5 months. You navigate it by putting your best foot forward, basic hygiene, setting goals, being ambitious, and also being a kind and decent person, and being the best you yourself can be. No matter what you do, there’s always going to be someone richer, hotter, more tall, smarter, all of the above, however you can always be the best that you can be, you can’t control always control that.

Honestly how you put yourself forward plays way more of a role for getting dates than your height ever does. From my experience the women who did care a lot about height, I’ve really only been with 1 girl who had a problem with my height, and it ended up turning out that was she was also a very emotionally immature as a person as well with lots of problems, people who generally prioritize height or superficial factors for attraction aren’t really people you’d wanna be with long term either.

To sum this all up, your height doesn’t matter, and even if it does it doesn’t really. Your confidence and how you show up matter 10x more, there’s also plenty of women below 5’7 who want a 5’7 guy as well, easier to kiss, don’t have to crank their neck up, lots of pros to being short.

WiseRange2249 · 2025-01-23T23:07:18+00:00

My best friend for the last 26 years is 5’7 and has consistently pulled hot chicks that entire time.

He stays in shape, dresses well and carries himself like a boss.

Just do those things

GladysSchwartz23 · 2025-01-23T22:54:59+00:00

I've written this on reddit before but it bears repeating:

My guy friend who's 5'4 gets more ass than a toilet seat but still insists women don't like short men.

Height is only one of many things that people might like or not like about you, and not all women are interested in all men. Yet THE INTERNET extrapolates the fact that some women don't like short men into a catastrophe of epic proportions, as though the inevitable fact that rejection occasionally happens means that ONLY rejection happens.

Fella, I bet you every cent I have that there are far more women in this country who would never date a Republican than women who would never date a short guy. That's a factor you can control!

(Irrelevant but might matter to you: my partner is 5'7; I'm 5'4 but we both love it when I wear huge heels.)

generalhalfstep · 2025-01-23T22:11:38+00:00

There are women out there that don't care about height. There are other aspects of your life that you can focus on.

xvszero · 2025-01-24T00:36:32+00:00

Start by realizing physical attraction isn't just a checklist of physical traits, and even if it was, there is always someone "better". Like, you could be Brad Pitt and then George Clooney steps up and someone finds him more physically attractive. Should Brad Pitt go through his life worrying about this?

And attraction has so many mental elements as well.

But longterm relationships are based on so much more than this anyway.

TemporaryGrowth7 · 2025-01-24T00:49:17+00:00

Im 160 and any tall men I dated were super patronising… nope, thanks!! Hello ‚short‘ men!

Also, the sex is better at similar height and reach ;)

SufficientDot4099 · 2025-01-24T00:30:54+00:00

It's definitely not todays dating world. It was not any easier for short guys in the past. But also you're not short - just an inch below average. It shouldn't have much of an effect on you at all. Always try. It's stupid to not try. It's pointless to not try. Don't listen to people online. They don't know what they're talking about. Just log off and try doing all sorts of irl activities that you like to do.

nuee-ardente · 2025-01-23T23:05:42+00:00

I'm around the same height. 33 years old, small stature and baby-faced. I don't remember if I have ever felt masculine in my life. I believe people in such threads simply gaslight others into thinking more positively, maybe it's because they fear that another guy may fall into misogyny trap and turn into a problem to deal with or they simply go for upvotes by being politically correct, but being short as a guy is objectively an undesired trait. They often say confidence is key, but they don't understand that confidence comes from being comfortable in one's skin in the first place, which is extremely difficult for short guys that tend to get bullied or not taken seriously most of their lives.

That said, don't be bitter about it. I always think of my case from the perspective of black pill, which is what the world was built upon. There is no God and life is unfair, not only because of us being short, but also of kids dying of hunger in some parts of the world whereas their peers somewhere else sleep peacefully in front of the fireplace in their villa and so forth.

wote89 · 2025-01-23T23:07:09+00:00

So, something to add to the other comments:

The only way someone's going to know how precisely tall you are is if you tell them or there is a ruler next to you. Think about it: Can you accurately clock someone's height without a handy dating profile or someone of known height (yourself included) to reference? Maybe you think you can, but I'm willing to bet you're off by a decent margin far more often than you realize.

The same is true for everyone with the exception of carnies. Odds are, most people aren't looking at you and getting a read beyond "eh, maybe on the lower end of average" and if you're wearing shoes they probably will just go "average" and call it there.

So, yeah, it is primarily a consequence of "vital statistics" based online dating and memetics via social media. In day-to-day life, no one's working out everyone's height that finely beyond "shorter than me," "around my height", and "taller than me" and occasionally "shorter than/around/taller than the average". Which sure, might matter to some folks, but people are more likely to be wrong anyway unless there's a clear difference happening.

And if your thoughts are going to the "taller people are more attractive" train, I challenge you to actually find one of those studies and read how they drew that conclusion. From my own reading, they usually are either (a) using a limited sample group—like a group of women who all attended the same university and were in similar social strata—or else (b) conducted the study in a way that lacks the context of day-to-day life which limits its usefulness as the final word on aesthetics. Both limit the universality of their results and thus should not be taken as Gospel or inform your view of your own self-worth.

quinforte · 2025-01-24T00:43:56+00:00

Dawg you’re literally the average height of men right now. You are not short.

Even if you were, there are countless examples of shorter men that have no problem dating. I guarantee most women would go for a well put together, well groomed, socially aware shorter guy than a tall guy that doesn’t take care of himself and is socially inept.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2025-01-24T01:08:42+00:00

Let’s say for argument sake that what you say is true. Even so, what have you got to lose by trying to date?

WildcatAlba · 2025-01-24T01:56:43+00:00

I'll give you my thoughts mate. Firstly, western men aren't any shorter today than in the past. If anything we're slightly taller. It's perceptions and priorities that have changed. Fortunately though, perceptions and priorities aren't always the same between individuals. Even if the average woman were a size queen, you would find women who didn't mind your height at all. My advice to you is to find women in the middle; women who would prefer a taller man but who think your other positive qualities make up for your shortness. Put those other positive qualities on display, especially style and hygiene.

p.s. I disagree with people who say "X is only online" or "X is a social media thing, not an irl thing". Social media has invaded the real world. A lot of real world things don't exist anymore. Third spaces often don't exist anymore, so it's hard to meet people irl in the way you could back in the 90s. People's perceptions are also the same online and offline. The online/offline divide is not a strong divide anymore

missmagicmouth · 2025-01-24T08:50:12+00:00

Married to short guy. Happy. He’s sexxyyyyy. Heart body and soul.

SmokingInTheAlley · 2025-01-25T06:12:43+00:00

I (29f) am 5’4”, my bf is 5’6”. I love being similar in height tbh. Easier to lean my head on his shoulder. And when we hug I’m not just pressing my nose against his sternum. And ok this is an over share, buuuuutttt a certain position that starts with a 6 and ends with a 9–MUCH MUCH easier with a partner who’s similar in height tbh

isabie · 2025-01-26T05:08:25+00:00

Men care way more about height and dick size than women do. I've had partners 1-2" taller than me and I'm 5'7. I've had partners well over 6'. It just doesn't matter to me all that much. I've known women with partners shorter than them.

I'm sure some women care but I don't know any. It's like insisting all men care about the same physical characteristic on women, like all men only like blonde women.

theasianplayboy · 2025-01-24T01:12:30+00:00

I get it, being tall, dark, and handsome might seem like the jackpot in today’s dating world. But I’ve learned to settle for being short, stunning, and smooth. There’s a big difference between being born good looking and knowing how to look good. One is luck, the other is skill, and skill can be learned.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve sparked a conversation with a girl and got her genuinely interested, not because I’m tall (I’m not) or conventionally attractive, but because of charisma, charm, and confidence. Would it have been easier if I were tall? Sure. But just because you aren’t what society calls conventionally attractive doesn’t mean you can’t be an attractive man.

Here’s the truth, you have control over at least one of these factors. How you dress, your body language, your confidence, and how you carry a conversation are all within your power to improve. It’s not about looking like a model; it’s about becoming the guy who exudes presence and energy that draws people in. That’s a game changer. Focus on what you can control and build from there. Trust me, it’s worth it.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2025-01-24T01:23:41+00:00

I think being like 5'3 is a really big disadvantage in dating but if you are 5'7 you are only two inches below average so your height is only a moderate disadvantage. Everyone has some flaw that gives them some kind of disadvantage. And there are things you can do to negate this. Like you can wear shoes with 3 inch soles, get a haircut that adds to your height, have confident body language, have an assertive personality, or hit the gym. The vast majority of people are able to date and that even includes people much shorter than you.

Beginning-Yak-5387 · 2025-01-24T04:10:33+00:00

5 ‘7 isn’t even short lol. Just meet a girl shorter than you :) more women average about 5ft 4

NaNaNaNaNatman · 2025-01-24T14:59:18+00:00

I’m a tall woman and my preference for taller guys when I was younger was due to my own insecurity about my height and a desire to be small and petite. But then I found the 5’6 love of my life who also makes me feel great about my looks and I genuinely think my fiancé is the most gorgeous person on planet Earth.

In short, don’t count yourself out before you’ve played the game, and remember that everyone is basically wrapped up in a battle of insecurities when it comes to dating. I’m sure it will also really help that you’re no longer red pill.

Forestfreud · 2025-01-24T16:47:56+00:00

I think short guys who own their height can be uniquely funny and charismatic. I won’t pretend some women don’t have height preferences—NOT ALL WOMEN, but SOME—but I will say that if you’re confident (or at least project confidence) and take care of yourself and own your height then you’ll do fine.

HankTank1111 · 2025-01-25T01:31:05+00:00

Fellow 5’7” here- gotta learn game. It does wonders. Acting like a victim for will ruin your chances worse than being 5’7”.

rando755 · 2025-01-25T03:54:55+00:00

I believe that height in men matters very little. As another commenter pointed out, the minority of women for whom it is important can be "surprisingly vocal", giving the illusion that it matters far more than it really does. I am reluctant to bring up the theory of evolution on this subreddit. I have had people on this subreddit tell me that evolutionary psychology is a "just so story" or a pseudo science. However, if you guys will forgive me, let's grant evolution for the sake of discussion. Being taller than an average man does not offer a significant advantage in hunting, gathering, caring for women, caring for children, having sex, fighting to defend women and children, or really any of the things that women are supposed to have evolved to want during the hunter gatherer era. Even for a guy like me who does believe in evolution and evolutionary reasoning, I still don't see why being tall would be any more than a small advantage.

mammajess · 2025-01-25T11:28:17+00:00

My husband is 5'7" and I'm 5'6", make of that what you wish 🙂

helpwitheating · 2025-01-28T22:49:24+00:00

I mean, none of us are the most attractive person on the planet. Everyone is less attractive than someone else.

Most women are shorter than you - like, the majority. So you can absolutely find someone even if 100% of women want someone taller than them.

It sounds like you may be procrastinating the hard work of dating, and the rejection that comes with it for every one, with this excuse. I'd suggest getting into some hobbies that will let you meet people in person, over and over again to build new friendships, as opposed to just relying on the apps if you're more sensitive to rejection. Consider a regular running group, hiking group, whatever.

Queen_Maxima · 2025-01-24T06:23:31+00:00

My son is 5'5 and we live in a country where the average guy is 6 ft. Tons of girls like him, and he is engaged. His insta was always filled with heart eye emoji reacts when he posted a selfie. Before he got with his fiance, there were always girls in his DMs. I still call him my tiny dwarf as a joke, which he doesn't like, but i like it so he gotta deal with that lmao

His father is around the same height as you are and always has women who are into him.

Both him and his father are extraverts and have great social skills. They are pleasant company and great listeners. They are good looking too, but what i find interesting is that also men like to be around them.

It's really just a social media thing

Disastrous_Brain1068 · 2025-01-31T00:23:53+00:00

I'm a shorter girl and I truly don't care about height. I've dated guys shorter than you and have deeply been attracted to them. I know I'm not the only one.

darthsmolin · 2025-01-31T22:47:29+00:00

Find someone that cares less about your height than you do.

Luis_McLovin · 2025-01-24T04:36:37+00:00

get rich and famous

Title	How does a guy navigate being short(er) in todays dating world?
Author	NoRefrigerator267
Upvotes	22
Comments	58
Date	January 23, 2025 9:28 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1i8el2s/how_does_a_guy_navigate_being_shorter_in_todays/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-does-a-guy-navigate-being-shorter-in-todays.1541969 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541969

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