Girl I am talking to has been with a friend of mine

GrowCanadian · 2025-02-05T20:32:35+00:00

Some people can’t handle it and some can. I have a few different circles of friends and there’s a bunch in one group that have dated eachother over the years. They’ve been a friend group since high school so lots of things happen in life.

I personally have no issue with it as long as there’s no risk of cheating. If your buddy has a girlfriend now I’d say your risk is much lower but it’s your comfort level. If you can’t handle it then just friend zone her and move on.

You can even use her as a social preselection springboard if you go out somewhere. I’ve friend zoned girls, and I can tell when I walk into a room with them that there’s a difference than if I walked in alone. Sure there’s guys out there with amazing game that can solo but I promise if you walk in somewhere with a pretty girl, even as a friend, girls notice even if it’s on a subconscious level.

Murakamo · 2025-02-05T18:43:26+00:00

You either need to get over it or end your thing with this girl. She can't do anything to change it. The past is the past.

Thebiggestbigsquid · 2025-02-06T00:08:17+00:00

Crazy idea. Date someone who hasn’t had sec with your friend. It’s not like there’s billions of women in the world. Casual is a diff story

PM_Teeny_Titties · 2025-02-05T19:09:44+00:00

If she was with my friend last night, I would be wary. But in the past? Don't care.

Arachnid1 · 2025-02-05T19:44:26+00:00

Have your short term fun and move on. Don't be eskimo bros when it comes to serious relationships.

3ntrop3y · 2025-02-05T18:49:13+00:00

Imagine how you’ll feel if you fall in love with her. Just end it.

Sad-Function6273 · 2025-02-05T19:27:53+00:00

Unpopular opinion, that friend or friends group will make fun of you, and you cant take her to your group activities

It is what it is

Have fun with her, but if you and your friend are close, and are in similar circles, then strong no to any relationship

Unless you are like above 40

DaygameCode · 2025-02-05T20:27:49+00:00

This was a concern i had when i was 14, back when i was immature.

Yes, other people will have dated girls that you like, including friends from your past. It bothers people who are not mature enough to date.

The idea that you can’t have a happy relationship if a girl has dated previously a friend of yours, is baseless.

This is the type of situation where advice from most guys under the age of 27 or even 30, should not be considered as valid because they are immature and draw conclusions primarily driven by their ego rather than mature judgment.

Let’s say that you and this girl are very very happy together, super happy, maybe best relationship you’ve ever had. Full potential for the future mother of your kids.

You are saying that because some friend has dated her before and not anymore, you should just dump her? Based on what? Because the friend or other friends will make fun of you or something, like someone else said?

Why the fuck would you prioritize the friendship of people who shame you and mock you and want to make you feel like shit, over the love of your life?

Real friends are supportive, not judgmental. Real friends don’t talk behind your backs, and they don’t shame you or disrespect you for dating someone you like. Real buddies have your back and fight for you, and your dignity.

Not every one who acts like a buddy is a true friend, let alone if they decide that your happiness with a girl is something to mock or make fun of.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-05T19:18:02+00:00

Keep talking to her while your friend shows her how to say “glurp, glurp, glurp, ahhhhh”.

JUNZZ3Y · 2025-02-05T18:59:14+00:00

Get over it, it's not that deep. Shouldn't be something uncomfortable, here's my point of view. I started a friendship with a girl, a year later I met a dude and became friends with him too, turns out they were married and I didn't even know that at the time, later i knew they had issues so it wasn't like advertised at all, no pictures, no nothing, point is I didn't even know.

Time passes (like two years) and I invite this girl out and later in the relationship she says that she and him were a thing. I didn't know how to feel as I was both their friend at the time but was oblivious since I knew them from different places and the subject naver came up, I decided not to think about it as I think it's fair that relationships end and others can sprout over time.

I advice you not to think too much about it if you can, can only be a detriment for both of your enjoyment. I dunno if a made my point clear, and we had different situations, but what im trying to say is, enjoy your partner and dont judge.

They are here now, that's what matters.

Mc_Dickles · 2025-02-05T21:52:30+00:00

Can I ask how old you are? I went through something similar when I was young. My girlfriend was a pothead but I wasn't. I didn't like that she would do something my parents vilified so much with people I didn't know. I didn't have any vices, and I didn't want her to get caught up in them. I was 15. She quit smoking for me.

10 years later, I really like alcohol and cocaine. Life happens and you learn to ease up on certain things. Her bad habits used to stress me out, but now I can see that they were just a pastime for her. I check up on her and she's doing great, way better than me honestly.

I hope you can get over this yourself personally. I hope your friend is mature about it too and he can let you be happy with her. The road might be bumpy but I hope you get through it. like others have said, the past is the past. You will eventually see it's whatever.

razama · 2025-02-06T00:56:05+00:00

This is really on a case by case basis. Personally, it bugs me enough that is a dealbreaker. Maybe if you have a small dating pool like you’re in a small town or your high school teenager.

Neither of those things apply to me, so it really feels regressive and gross. Anyone who’s telling you you should just get over it or not care about it is naïve.

There’s no problem with doing it, but you absolutely should consider that there’s something going on with your social dynamics and social circles and you need to be aware of what that particular thing is before you proceeded. You can’t take her around your friend because it will be awkward, even if they say it isn’t . It’s gonna be something that will bug you for the rest of your relationship and you’re just hoping it won’t. You will have to put in work with it when you wouldn’t have to with another relationship.

creatorofstuffn · 2025-02-06T01:04:30+00:00

I was 18 and me and a friend found out we were dating the same girl. We were just talking one night over beers when we were like heywaitaminute.

Long story short the three of us had a FWB relationship for a while until we all moved on. Would recommend 10/10

JrRiggles · 2025-02-06T02:16:45+00:00

Well, try to have some curiosity for that feeling. It bothers you, how? Dig deeper and see what is there. For instance, due you feel disgust for her having slept with him or jealousy or embarrassment?

liftedd · 2025-02-06T02:36:20+00:00

Been in a similar situation. Ask your friend if they ended on good terms, and why. This actually gives you alot of insight.

Depends how close your friend and you are, if it's a distant friendt it really shouldn't be a big deal.

Nadev · 2025-02-06T02:58:09+00:00

You just need to sack up and join the Eskimo Brotherhood

Artist-in-Residence- · 2025-02-06T08:12:55+00:00

Hmm that would be weird. I would feel the same way, I wouldn't date nor be romantically interested in a guy one of my friends dated.

PartyDestroyer · 2025-02-06T09:42:59+00:00

I would not be able to handle that, too much drama that can disrupt everything. I’d move on.

Impossible-Ground921 · 2025-02-08T05:46:53+00:00

Have you hooked up with her yet? It’s important to understand where you are at with this girl first. Is she really into you and invested in you? Or are you a guy in her rotation? an orbiter?

Assuming she has a high level of investment in you, you probably have some leverage to ask direct questions. However if she has no investment in you, probing will only come across as needy.

I think it’s important to get the facts. Was it a one night hookup? Was it a relationship? I think she owes it to you to be honest about the emotional investment she had in the guy. Did she reject him or vice versa? I’d also get his perspective to see how closely the story matches.

After that you need to decide whether you can tolerate it. If this guy is your friend i assume you have respect for him so you shouldn’t be offended that a girl liked him.

Charge36 · 2025-02-05T19:11:00+00:00

You should get over it

BonoboPowr · 2025-02-05T19:42:18+00:00

I have been in similar situations several times. I just dumped the girls. I wouldn't want to go where my friends have been. That is just me, though. People here might motivate you one way or another, but you should know what's best for you and act accordingly.

genericriffs · 2025-02-05T21:21:52+00:00

Nah bro, especially if he is a good friend.

dobbs1997 · 2025-02-05T20:13:16+00:00

why do you care ???

DaygameCode · 2025-02-05T18:53:10+00:00

This was a concern i had when i was 14, back when i was immature.

Title	Girl I am talking to has been with a friend of mine
Author	EmptyImprovement9703
Upvotes	18
Comments	41
Date	February 5, 2025 6:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1iih18y/girl_i_am_talking_to_has_been_with_a_friend_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-i-am-talking-to-has-been-with-a-friend-of.1543061 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543061

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