Alimony 20+ year marriage in 50/50 state.. what do you pay

DedInside_6 · 2025-02-27T19:44:12+00:00

Get alimony if you can however small. Then when she goes back to work full time after or changes jobs and doubles her income, you can seek an increase in alimony.

Might want to talk to a lawyer about opening up a can of worms in case it looks like you might owe. In that case go for a lump sum settlement (no alimony) so that she can’t come after you later.

If she gets alimony from you, try to keep the negotiations out of court and put in a non-modifiable clause, so she doesn’t come after you for more in 10 years when she decides she needs a European vacation.

We are right at 20y in WA, she hasn’t worked in 20y (don’t get me started). We are agreeing to something like 5 years, 1/3 of takehome income plus child support. We are going to lump sum it in the settlement because neither of us want any financial ties after this. And the unavoidable 50:50.

We are just mediating. No lawyers except the mediator so far. We did mutually hire a CDFA to help us split the assets for settlement advice. A fraction of the cost of a lawyer. But we are very amicable… so far.

She’s keeping the house, but I’ll probably be able to save much more money single (she is a spender). And we had already saved plenty for college and the kids are pretty sure scholarship candidates or have good state school options.

i80west · 2025-02-27T18:25:41+00:00

We were married 45 years, both retired with pensions and social security, neither going back to work, my income is a little higher. I pay about $1000 a month until one of us dies or she remarries (ie, forever) to equalize our income. And we split the retirement accounts to be equal, again with me shifting stuff over to her. It amounted to an equal split. We divided up our possessions equally, sold the house and split that equally. So, I pay her, but it's all to equal stuff out. I'm not wild about it but I can't say it's not fair.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2025-02-27T18:25:36+00:00

Best thing you can do is agree with her that neither of you pay any alimony.

Historical_Eye3756 · 2025-02-27T18:20:22+00:00

In NJ, My ex’s jack off lawyer tried to get me to pay alimony 200 a week for 6 years. She made 100,300 and I made 130,000.

cschoonmaker · 2025-02-27T18:06:38+00:00

Basic formula in California is: Subtract 50% of the lower income earners pay from 40% of the higher income earners pay and that is what is paid to the lower income earner. Various other factors can also influence the amounts but that is the basic formula. As for duration, marriages lasting less than 10 years spousal support is given a finite date of 1/2 the length of the marriage, but it can be terminated early if a qualifying event occurs. Marriages 10 years or more are given no end date. Some people refer to this as lifetime alimony but it can still be terminated if/when qualifying events occur.

RespectInevitable479 · 2025-02-27T17:08:30+00:00

Since you just lost your job maybe. But she probably won’t pay you alimony either. What does she do that allows her to make 100k part time I’m curious

engineered-chemistry · 2025-02-27T17:03:14+00:00

Your wife’s attorney will hire a vocational expert to assess your earning potential. Alimony intention to is maintain a rough standard of living, lucky for you your wife makes decent money. In Virginia a rule of thumb judges use is the Fairfax formula which is 26% of the higher payers monthly gross minus 58% of the lower earner for couples with kids and slightly different without (not much difference). The math works out that if the lower earner gross is 45% or more of the higher you pay nothing.

The judge can do whatever the fuck he wants though. Talk to an attorney familiar with cases in your state’s county to get a better idea.

888222 · 2025-02-27T15:34:21+00:00

Nj state, I pay 1100/m alimony for 10 years, 900/m child support, 3 kids 30/70 custody, i make double her income

jimsmythee · 2025-02-27T15:00:41+00:00

11 year marriage in AZ. At time of divorce, exwife was claiming she was “too sick to work.” She had worked 2 months the previous year, and then hadn’t worked in the previous 4 years. 2 kids in elementary school and she was trying to get full custody. She asked at divorce trial for 50% of my take home pay in alimony.

Outcome? Judge granted her $0 alimony and told her there was no evidence she couldn’t work.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-02-27T14:08:41+00:00

The higher earning spouse pays alimony to the other (not the man pays the woman no matter what regardless of circumstance)....your income is zero, hers is $100k.

Given you are both in bad shape my best guess is there won't be any alimony.....she will be at 100k and they will assume if you were to work you'd be somewhere closish to that. End result they will call it a wash and neither of you will owe the other. If anything she may end up paying you something if you can show you are unhirable in your old field.

Don't now where you are looking to rent but you'd qualify for an apartment if you have 6 months of living expenses in the bank (industry standard). If it has to be a nice house then look for someone renting out a room in theirs.

I'm in a 50/50 state, married for 22 years, and pay nothing.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-02-27T14:05:04+00:00

$6000 for 10 years

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-02-27T12:42:11+00:00

I'm retired military and she's getting 32% of my retirement for life. Married 20 years.

whoisgodiam · 2025-02-27T09:21:27+00:00

You are totally screwed. This is why all men must have prenups.

she_said_its_fine · 2025-02-27T07:55:55+00:00

"50/50 state" is not be enough. In WA a 20-year marriage is about 5 years of alimony max 8. 25 years is pretty much a lifetime.

Your stock, part-time work, no work, and past cancer situations are also very particular. Depending on how collaborative or litigative she is (will be), she may try to claim she can not work full time, or her career was impacted to the point where additional compensation is needed. Consulting a lawyer of your state of residency would be your best option.

ChatGPT is surprisingly good in these subjects, but its answer will be only as accurate as the details in your questions and without full understanding of all the aspects that may affect your case, you will miss some details for sure. Lawyers are excesively expensive, but there is some value there.

Title	Alimony 20+ year marriage in 50/50 state.. what do you pay
Author	Middle_Reception286
Upvotes	9
Comments	33
Date	February 27, 2025 7:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1iza82g/alimony_20_year_marriage_in_5050_state_what_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/alimony-20-year-marriage-in-5050-state-what-do-you.1545098 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545098

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