do men and women normally split the bill on a date or does the women normally make the man pay for it?

Pecking_Boi0330 · 2025-04-24T09:07:13+00:00

In paper, feminist say that its always 50/50

In practice, God help your wallet

Negative_Comfort6848 · 2025-04-24T09:16:57+00:00

One of the "best" dates I had was with a woman who spent the entire time saying how successful she was and how much good money she earned. When the bill arrived she was faster than Bolt running.

asdf333aza · 2025-04-24T10:28:59+00:00

Dude... the girls don't even bring a purse inside. They have absolutely NO intention of paying.

Spins13 · 2025-04-24T08:51:25+00:00

If you split the bill you are misogynist because you don’t respect the hours the woman has spent putting paint and crayon on her face.

If you pay, you are a misogynist because you don’t consider her independent, but you get a second date if you didn’t break her other 50 rules because everyone likes being taken care of

Plus_Mind40 · 2025-04-24T18:21:35+00:00

This post reminds me when I used to go out drinking with female friends over the years. As a gay man, I’ve always had a ton of female friends who would spend a lot of time ranting against men and how awful every guy they date is.

They would always say things like “I don’t need a man to pay for me, they’re trash!” But whenever we’d go out to a bar, these female friends would tell me that they would do whatever they needed to in order to not buy any of their drinks that night.

So they would go up to men, pretend to be interested, flirt and hit on them, just to get a free drink and then would immediately ditch them once that drink is in their hands.

I always thought it was so ironic how they would act like they’re too good for every man but the minute it comes to paying for anything, they would expect a man to do it for them.

If I were to go to a bar and do this same thing to a woman just to get a free drink from them, my face would be plastered all over social media about how gross and disgusting I am for taking advantage and expecting women to pay for me.

FluffyCategory11 · 2025-04-24T12:31:30+00:00

It’s on us to accept it or not. The way I see it is if you’re the one who does the cooking / buys the groceries, etc, then paying for a night out doesn’t make sense when you could just save money and make better food at home. I was always the one cooking and putting food on the table, so I couldn’t justify spending $100 for some mediocre meal for two with terrible service when I have bills to pay. I didn’t settle until I found a woman who sees things the same way. So now I’m the one who is treated out, as a break from cooking. These arbitrary relationship roles can be whatever you want them to be, so stop settling.

Sure, many of them feel entitled to the princess treatment. And it’s because we give them that treatment. Become comfortable with dropping them and moving on. Reasonable women exist, and if more men were willing to drop the high maintenance women then maybe things could change.

When I was single, I always went for the coffee date for the first date. If they scoff at the idea of a coffee date, then you dodged a red flag. But the first date is like a job interview, why are you going to spend top dollar to impress a complete stranger? I was getting maybe 2-3 dates a week on the apps so if I treated all of them out to dinner I wouldn’t be able to pay my mortgage. Now, the women who are happy to go on the coffee date and even insist that they buy their own coffee… she’s worth getting to know better with a second date.

Werten25 · 2025-04-24T12:18:49+00:00

I dated a girl when I was 15. To her credit she would pretty much always go 50/50 or pay the whole thing for me. I am aware that there’s more pressure for the man to pay the bill though. It largely depends on who you date.

ZaneBradleyX · 2025-04-24T09:39:54+00:00

For me and my fiancée, it’s… interesting. We see our relationship as more traditional, and eventually I’ll be the sole provider since she wants to be a stay at home wife/mom. But at the beginning, things were different. I was still studying and pretty broke, while she had a job. I always tried my best to pay for dates and help out, but realistically, she probably paid more than me back then. You can't imagine how lucky I feel to have someone like her. These days, I hear it's really rare to find someone that genuine.

Cgravener1776 · 2025-04-25T10:55:37+00:00

My wife and I have the same bank account, so I guess we both pay for it either way?

WanabeInflatable · 2025-04-24T10:11:27+00:00

No such thing as normal

But you can set up boundaries. Say in advance that bill will be split. That filters out majority of parasitic women.

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2025-04-24T12:10:14+00:00

Just go Dutch.

Another_Basic_NPC · 2025-04-24T14:54:17+00:00

I changed my first date tactics years ago to things that are either cheap or free, so it won't matter. Ice cream, coffee, or a walk in the park are all great!

Miserable-Most4949 · 2025-04-24T14:59:52+00:00

Depends on the girl and how much she likes you. I once dated a girl who has a super rich dad. She even paid for my food a couple times.

Sea2Chi · 2025-04-24T16:27:23+00:00

I haven't dated for a while, but my experience in Seattle was often women would offer to split it and I'd say they can pay for the next date.

That worked out well for everyone I felt. If they didn't at least offer I wouldn't say I'd disqualify them from dating, but it would be a small red flag.

If they insisted on splitting or paying for the whole thing, which would occasionally happen, I'd think of it positively.

But I found the second date strategy worked great as it showed that I was interested in a second date, and it set the expectation that we would trade off paying. So we could set the cost accordingly based on what they were comfortable with.

If they balked at paying on the second date that was a dealbreaker and there wouldn't be one since we weren't compatible.

Some guys want to pay every time and that's fine for them, some women want the guy to pay every time and that's fine too. Those two types of people should date each other.

I want someone who is going to be an equal partner though and financial compatibility is very important.

tilldeathdoiparty · 2025-04-24T17:51:11+00:00

I never accept anything from them on the first date, I pay, but under the pretence that they pay the next one. Quality women (which do exist, despite the opinion of many here) will have no problem with that and go out of their way to pay next time.

If they don’t make a point of making an effort I don’t call for a third date.

Judging these comments, I don’t think many of you have put an honest effort into building a relationship with a partner, too busy taking notes on hoe much you spent.

TreefingerX · 2025-04-24T10:07:29+00:00

Eastern European women don't like to split ....

Organic_Tea8264 · 2025-04-24T10:49:54+00:00

From a small town in Michigan

Fair-Might-5473 · 2025-04-24T16:26:22+00:00

You're tripping if you're still paying the bill in 2025.

Aggressive-Bad-7761 · 2025-04-24T19:41:05+00:00

if you make her pay half she will get dryer than the sahara and ick hard, thems the rules 🥲

sgt_oddball_17 · 2025-04-25T18:43:34+00:00

I was at dinner with two girls from college, not a date, we were discussing school work. When I asked if they minded splitting the Tip and I'd get the bill, one of them Sassed me.

The level of female entitlement is astonishing sometimes.

RandomYT05 · 2025-04-24T10:10:31+00:00

Personally, one of the conditions I'd put on a first date is we split the check. First Date is only to check if there's any compatibility. If not, then no harm no foul. If there is a second or 3rd date, I'd be more than happy to pay for the date. Or even take her to an amusement park for a fun day out.

Sea-Musician-3289 · 2025-04-24T08:51:55+00:00

Women pay 100% and get offended if you offer to pay or even bring your wallet on date

The-Cyberpunk · 2025-04-24T10:34:06+00:00

As a man, the gentlemanly thing to do is to cover the bill but that doesn't mean you should pay for ANYTHING she wants especially in the beginning stages of dating. Women have a rather lofty notion of what they are worth And I have met several women who are shameless gold diggers (some of them weren't pretty enough to be gold diggers but I digress) So budgeting is vital when dealing with chicks because they will bleed your wallet dry If you give them half the chance.

Always remember brother, Men want sex and women want money (aka a relationship) So you need to be as protective with your wallet as they are with their meat wallet. There are dozens of ways to make a fine impression with a nice young lady that doesn't involve breaking the bank.

Also keep in mind that people are all too willing to show you who they are. If you plan out a nice date that engages her mind and emotions You should be golden But there are some universal red flags such as being pushy, bratty, entitled, condescending or rude. If something doesn't work for your wallet then tell her "no" and stand on it. What comes next will tell you about her character.

Stay strong King, whether you're broke or a billionaire you deserve love from a caring and loyal woman that will match your energy.

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2025-04-24T20:44:11+00:00

Im honestly happy to pay for the first date , she has to make effort I terms of time , makeup etc ( obviously we do too )

However after the first that’s when I expect her to GENUINELY at least offer to go 50/50 , and the more genuine I feel it the more I’m happy to pay , but the more dates we do the more 50/50 I expect it to be

Lightning77Plus · 2025-04-24T13:18:06+00:00

I would say that due to internalized misogyny, many women still expect men to pay for the date. This is due to systemic patriarchal oligarchal subterraneous philosophical rodeo-based rhetorical oppressions that have convinced women they're physically unable to open their wallets and chip in 50/50.

It's a systemic issue and we're working on it. They just need to do better and erase those misogynistic tendencies that have held them and their fellow women back for generations. They want to work and want to contribute, they just have to shake off their sexist views. Feminism walked so that the modern woman could run.

Edit: I thought this was satirical enough without adding the /s but here ya go

kiddox · 2025-04-24T15:01:32+00:00

If I really like her as a person I'm sometimes going to pay. Otherwise it's 50/50 and if that's not what she expected I immediately know to next. Nowadays I'm better at picking woman beforehand and it's normal that we do 50/50.

TempleFugit · 2025-04-24T15:42:05+00:00

I as a man always pay for the first date. I like to see if she offers to pay on the second.

Rare-Discipline3774 · 2025-04-24T16:24:47+00:00

Always go Dutch, say, 'separate checks."

welshrebel1776 · 2025-04-24T16:41:31+00:00

Last time I dated i ended up paying for the whole bill but that's because I do believe that we should pay if we are on a date

mom_nxt_door79 · 2025-04-24T20:01:36+00:00

I'm old school

MotorInsect6295 · 2025-04-25T00:21:37+00:00

Don't know where you guys live and what's your budget but here's the thing: people don't date anymore, at least it's not the way it was in the past for most. Young people "hang around" each other, do "Netflix and chill" and so on. I know, not the same for everyone, but in larger metro areas it's like this and this new norm is propagating as this generation ages, with new generations following suit even more often. So, there's less formality and dates, in fact it simply rebranded.

One of the reasons for rebranding and death of traditional dating is the greed of restaurant owners and heinous practices of their employees who would simply hand over the bill to a man and also add their tip. Yes, some places do this, some don't, but guys started a new trend and it's a thing now, mainstream.

Anyways, if you don't follow this trend, well good luck, you either have rich parents or you didn't have a GF until you were like 20+ or 25+ and gainfully employed. All other types such as self-made millionaires and so on are so rare that it's useless to even argue about it. It's kind of retarded to even think of following the old practice because almost everyone is in school and studying until they're 20+, their parent would have to pay for all that. Next, just about everyone is working now. Women make up a bit over 47% of total employees. There are very few women who are stay at home moms or homemakers and it's usually temporary for most, except for a smaller but significant number of 50+ y/o women.

If you're in your 20s, women your age are almost definitely not homemakers and don't plan to be, except if you're extremely rich, they are at least as likely to be employed just like any guy and their salaries are comparable, in fact young women even have larger salary on average in major metro zones. This is why men, not women, decided to put an end to this practice. It's a process and it's not universal in all places or age groups but it's spreading and it's a good thing.

Just_an_user_160 · 2025-04-26T03:07:07+00:00

The woman usually makes the man pay for it, there are women that go on a date with a man and make him pay for a free meal and reject or ignore him later.

Quirky_Archer · 2025-04-26T16:53:31+00:00

Depends how ugly and desperate you are

PerennialPsycho · 2025-04-28T20:21:39+00:00

It was very hard for me to start this trend of 50/50. Finally got the nerve to do it. I lost a couple of dates at first.

Then I went ahead and publicized it beforehand. Now i only date women who are ok with the 50/50. I don't want any makeup thank you. I dont want hidden prostitution.

howitwillbe · 2025-05-02T12:57:03+00:00

I always did 50:50

Islanderwithwings · 2025-04-24T09:41:29+00:00

If you guys go overseas, you're going to be shocked in how feminine and cooperative the women are.

Here's my 2 cents, Men should pay for everything. However Im not taking any girl out on a date unless I've had at least 1 round of Clapcheeks. Foreign women will give you what you want, they're cooperative. They will give you sex or a relationship, then you can take them out on a date.

Foreign women in countries like the Philippines have been trying to make divorce a legal right. It's making international headlines again. And the Catholic Church will always knock it down, just like they've been doing for the last 100 years.

Western women are the only ones that demand 5 dates, each date costs $300, and they make you wait 3 months.

Do you have a passport? Have vacation hours? If yes, then go overseas.

Western women will shame you for going overseas and call it cringe for taking advantage of the strong dollar.

But do you know whats sad? The subreddit deadbedrooms. There's married men over there that have been married for 10 years and the last time they had sex with their wife was 10 years ago lol. That's a sad reality.

Organic_Tea8264 · 2025-04-24T10:20:42+00:00

Well when I'm with my friends that a girls they're offering to pay it for me I've done 50/50 even though I don't consider myself a male feminist I mean they usually pay for me I don't know why the women in my area are really sweet and kind I think that they're traditional women I'm not entirely sure but they do offer to pay for me when we hang out so or we will do 50/50 depending on the context but usually they pay for me because you're really sweet and kind and nice but that's just my experience with that I'm sure everyone has their own

bigskycaniac · 2025-04-24T12:21:33+00:00

Not really a MRA question.

erik_reeds · 2025-04-24T14:55:58+00:00

the expectation is that the person who asks should probably pay, the person who is being asked can pay or pay half if they'd like. that's how it's been for me anyways as someone who has been on both sides of it. i also don't mind paying in general if the person is broke.

dougpschyte · 2025-04-24T08:52:50+00:00

You haven't actually been on a date, have you?

mom_nxt_door79 · 2025-04-24T16:50:42+00:00

I wouldn't

Title	do men and women normally split the bill on a date or does the women normally make the man pay for it?
Author	Upper-Ad9228
Upvotes	104
Comments	119
Date	April 24, 2025 8:30 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1k6n72u/do_men_and_women_normally_split_the_bill_on_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/do-men-and-women-normally-split-the-bill-on-a-date.1550470 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550470

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