Do i wait for her to file on her time line,or just go file myself???

So STBXW said she wants a divorce on 3/20/25. I was not expecting it and very hurt and upset by the whole situation. Currently we are still living in our home together with our 2 kids. I'm in the living room she has the bedroom. We have been working to payoff our shared debts. The situation is toxic and unbearable for me to be around anymore. It's gotten to the only time we speak in person she's bashing me putting me down saying our 15 years together meant nothing, blah blah blah,just being awful and petty. I talked to a loan agent I'm going to do a cash out refi and buy her out of the mortgage so I can keep the house. So at this point should I wait for her to go file when it's convenient for her or do I say fuck it and go file myself to get the ball rolling. Id like to file before I do the refi. I don't want to give her 100k then she says oh actually I want to just sell the house, or pull some petty shit.

Any advice is appreciated Thanks guys