Before social media and the mainstreaming of the internet kids were trained to assume any stranger they talk to online is actually an old pervert out to get them. And whether or not it was true (and it was true more often than you’d like to think), it did foster a healthy distrust of online discourse and a grounding to real life and the people you actually know.

And then things got faster and easier to use. Photo and video became damn near mandatory to have an online presence. You could finally see the people on the other side of the screen. Unfortunately I think that has made us a little too trusting. We forgot that even if you can see that the person online is who they say they are, it doesn’t preclude them from lying to your face.

In dating and other PPD-related issues, this leads to a great deal of angst because young adults who haven’t had cynicism trained into them are now falling into despair and depression because they’re taking everything being told to them at face value simply because they can see the face telling it to them. Calling someone a liar is considered “invalidating” and “bad faith” now. Even this sub has rules against calling BS on others, even when they’re pushing a bunch of obvious BS. But this sub aside, how can anyone be happy with the state of relationships when they believe every anonymous sob story about the “blindsided” dumping or the 30-year-old rando who got run out of town for saying hi to a female barista or the tales of men who have daily sex with different married women? Why is TikTok being used as a source for ridiculous claims?!

Personally, I think we need to correct in the opposite direction and go back to just not believing shit we see on the internet—even if the person saying it has a verification check mark and a billion followers on social media. If it seems ridiculous or just makes you upset to think about, dismiss it as a lie and move on. Only trust people you personally know and data you care enough to verify yourself. Don’t give your emotional leverage to someone who won’t be accountable for lying to you. It may seem delusional but what do I care what some old pervert who’s out to get me thinks?