A lot of disconnect when men try to understand why women aren’t attracted to them or what women are attracted to comes from their belief that women should only be attracted to physical characteristics. They buck at the idea that it takes more or something different than 666 for women to want a man because, in their minds, the only thing that would make them want to have sex with a woman are the right physical properties. It would certainly make things easier if women were that way too but I don’t think even men are that simple.

There’s a subreddit about busty women (it's reddit, shut up) that is normally just a repository of bank material and creep replies. But every so often someone will post a picture of AOC, sparking a 100+ reply shitshow that has nothing to do with her objective "qualifications" for the subreddit but rather the usual political nonsense. Even a subreddit with the simple premise of "see hot girl, give upvote" won't behave so simply if the hot girl triggers something deeper in their minds.

If male sexuality were only tied to simple physical traits, we wouldn't fetishize personalities (hello, submissive Asian stereotype), we wouldn't be turned off by someone for their political leanings, we wouldn't warn each other "don't stick your dick in crazy." We all have that one less-than-pretty chick we know that inexplicably "does something" for us despite her lack of the physical traits that should occupy all of our sexual desire. Is it possible that attraction is...complicated?

I think men need women's sexuality to be simple so they have a straight A-to-B path to sex and have fooled themselves into believing they're that simple to try to promote "fairness." Hopefully the acknowledgement that everyone's sexuality is complex will lead to more productive conversations than one side insisting that the other side is lying and the other side insisting that the one side isn't listening. We're all a mess, that's what makes the pursuit fun.