Beginner (35M, no sexual experience). I don't want to be a pickup artist. I need something basic to get me off the ground

DanteHolmes3605 · 2025-06-29T08:28:56+00:00

I recommend ballroom dancing and teaches you to get over awkward body language with women since you know you have to hold them while dancing

As well as proper eye contact and confidence since dancing, at least in my opinion , is mostly just being confident in your own skin. Not to mention, you'll be meeting lots of women in those kinds of settings. Win win in most regards

If you want mostly theory and practical application, go with Mark manson models, 90 percent of what in this sub is condensed in that one book (my own subjective opinion, but it really is a good book).

As for how to improve the dating apps game. I don't know, I dont like them. Maybe someone else has better advice in that area

xaracoopa · 2025-06-29T07:07:30+00:00

This will be hard to hear, but: - wholly abandon/starve the overall approach you have now. You’re coming from a place of want/need. We all have it, and all want to be liked for who we are. The dark tragedy: biology and social dynamics, particularly now with social media, don’t care, and actually act against it. You will always come across as “desparate,” whether you are or not. - adopt a mentality of overcoming, conquering yourself, and ascending. Not in some ascetic monk way. But, in a warrior way. … “Truth is a woman, and loveth the warrior only…” - you likely have a caring core. That won’t ever fully go away. But, best to start balancing it with strength, conviction, purpose, and being someone worthy of being followed. - if you’re genuinely fine with being settled for, or being finally appreciated by a woman who has had to mature by necessity, such as a single mother, then you can ignore the entirety of this comment. But, even so, you may still learn the hard way a decade or less after being with her. - or you can keep looking for the needle in the ever-growing haystack.

Effective_Flower_214 · 2025-06-29T10:10:50+00:00

Meet women with good intentions. Don't go at it expecting something. Your expectations should be limited to "she seems interesting let's see who she is" and then talk to girls you see on the street until you find the one. You'll know.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-06-29T10:10:04+00:00

RSD and Todd stuff has changed my life in the best way possible. Anyone here criticizing htheir stuff doesn’t work is an idiot. I almost pulled a 3 some tonight following their advice I’ve learned from Tyler

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-06-29T13:10:19+00:00

Hinge (dating apps) are superficial by nature. To get more matches you'd have to upgrade your photos. This is one of the downsides of online, and its why we diversify the way we meet women via cold approach (pickup), social circle, online and fame. See my post on all the ways you could meet women.
Texting better is an extension of your verbal skills. You really only get better at verbal skills the more you practice flirting with women. See my post the principles of flirting and I recommend starting with the principle "speaking without a filter"
By swiping on the app and getting a match, you have already shown interest. During dates we focus on escalation instead. The first time you shown interest is called "man to woman"
The best time to escalate is when your mind is telling you to do so. It is not forced, but "follows the flow." That covers when to escalate. Regarding how, follow the kino ladder. Refer to my post the principles of escalation.

Best of luck.

SirDoogus · 2025-06-29T14:43:12+00:00

Look at the dates as an opportunity to find out if the woman is a good match for you. Yeah she may look good, but looks just get a person through the door. Bust her chops in a playful way as you use your date to find out if her values and drives in life mesh with yours. Remember you are the prize and being with you is the best choice any woman can make.

DietWooden9721 · 2025-06-30T00:34:14+00:00

So are you looking for more girls? Or meaningful relationships?

If you want more girls? Honestly hit up the hotties and invite them all to a nice house party with a pool. You'll probably have to get a nice Air BnB. Take pictures of the place and invite a bunch of girls you know. Bring some of your boys too to help with renting out a house. But if they're not bringing just as much girls, then tell them to bring the drinks.

If the girls don't show up, have a party anyways. Take pictures with your boys that you're having fun. Update you socials on your stories and say "party at my place. DM for details." Then send a bunch of pics to the girls that couldn't make it and say "wish you were here".

Then rinse and repeat.

Meaningful relationships? I'm sure you talked to a bunch of girls and some of them may not seem your type. But you might have to lower your standards and date the ones you know are already interested. Learn their body language. Learn how women speak. Women will communicate everything to you. But it's all practice. But you won't understand until you try.

Hope this helps buddy. Good luck.

extreme_fluffiness · 2025-06-29T14:41:56+00:00

Treat them like human beings and try to connect over stuff you both like. If there's any romantic connection or spark, the rest usually comes automatically. Stop following guides or reading books. Don't treat it like a science and have fun.

Edit: Yes, social activities like dancing, sports, chess etc. are great start pointing. The first (and hardest) step is to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-06-29T16:28:41+00:00

at this point pick up is the only thing that will get you out of that slump man, that is the road of the unnatural, read the layguide from tony clink and "rules of the game from neil strauss" they are both on archive(dot)org; you have a lot of work to do man; at leat you probably have your finances and profession on point, you need to deal with the women issue LOL

ResentCourtship2099 · 2025-06-29T07:12:34+00:00

Yep that's just another reminder

Kroddy1134 · 2025-06-29T10:11:16+00:00

There’s also no harm in hiring a professional to help you where it’s legal and regulated. I know this is a bit taboo but it might help keep the monkey off your back and you won’t be showcasing desperation in your approach.

Another tip is to go on a contiki tour and meet other travellers. If you do this, you might connect with women, you could also stay at hostels and make friends and things could go your way.

I wish you the best, shit will work out for you ❤️

H8beingmale · 2025-06-29T13:37:03+00:00

yeah i wonder if you are autistic

medicineandsports · 2025-06-29T18:36:55+00:00

You just need to hit the ground running brother. Message and interact with every girl with intention and one of them will stick. You know what to say and not to say, most important thing is to get them to qualify themselves to you, rather than the other way around. If a girl tries to get you to qualify yourself, respond with something lighthearted (like a joke or exaggeration or even honest answer but don’t over explain yourself or try to prove yourself), you can do this.

Aesthetic_af · 2025-06-30T00:34:32+00:00

Check out toddvdating on YouTube! Don't rely on online to get dates. Study his content and learn how to approach in person

GroundbreakingTea102 · 2025-06-30T09:57:46+00:00

Buy those - fancy clothes, watch, gold chain and last but the most important - expensive car! After that let things go on their own - the girls will come and give you the "experience" you need!

thisisnotme__-- · 2025-06-29T11:27:36+00:00

Look up Magic, the owner of AttractionMethods.com. He’s Indian. He’s reliable as a coach.

FlowSurferFromMars · 2025-06-30T18:22:31+00:00

OMG, it boggles my mind to see men sexless older and older over the years. Hope you find a nice gf for your first time dude.

At 35, you have got to have a passion, pour your soul into it, something social or that you need to attend and involves people. Once you start getting better at it, and talk more to women, it gets easier.

Title	Beginner (35M, no sexual experience). I don't want to be a pickup artist. I need something basic to get me off the ground
Author	HistorianGreat5386
Upvotes	61
Comments	58
Date	June 29, 2025 6:54 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ln8adq/beginner_35m_no_sexual_experience_i_dont_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/beginner-35m-no-sexual-experience-i-dont-want-to.1555864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555864

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