I’ve heard it said that divorce can be more difficult to deal with than death. I just recently endured the two-year anniversary of my ex-wife of 19 years taking her own life approximately three months after the divorce she filed was finalized. I feel like I’m once again regressing, although that assumes I’ve actually made forward progress since. I remain precariously balanced between overwhelming sadness and anger. Yes, I discovered her cheating, and she engaged in the standard fare of lying, manipulation, and deceit, with a staggering amount of projection, hence the anger. Reconciling was not an option. The sadness is for the loss of the amazing life we once had and who she used to be. I wanted her to be happy but also knew that it was incumbent upon her to find it rather than something I was responsible for ensuring. It’s just such a conflict of emotions and it’s becoming increasingly heavier. Despite who she became and what she did, I would never wish her such a fate.

What are your thoughts? Would you find it easier to move on knowing she was moving on with her life (assuming she was not continuing to re-insert herself into yours) or would you be indifferent to everything that happened once the divorce was final?