Do you just accept his need to be with other women?

Dionne005 · 2025-07-23T05:27:56+00:00

Sure if he respects my need for another man

sine120 · 2025-07-23T04:00:19+00:00

A high value man who values monogamy will lead the relationship with that as a core value of the relationship. If he expects your fidelity and does not offer his, you are a plate, not his other half.

elle_perazim · 2025-07-23T04:49:26+00:00

I might be wrong but imo high value ≠ rich.

LiosDelSol · 2025-07-23T04:04:08+00:00

Unacceptable. Better to drive your own Toyota than share a Ferrari.

HolyHeathen007 · 2025-07-23T04:58:54+00:00

How is he high value if he can't control his little brain? Nothing high value in being weak, and cheating is weakness. Remember, his cheating can make you sick via std's. Be safe please. Make him wear a condom.

I don't know how much she can possibly respect you while doing your husband. He doesn't seem respectful toward you either.

The Red Pill community wants us women to accept cheating. If you can live with that, just know the probable co sequences for your physical health as well as your nebtal and emotional health. If monogamy was not natural, we wouldn't be crushed when our partners cheat. Again, sone are okay with it, but most of us suppress our true feelings to stay within our lifestyle. Be safe, I wish you the best. 🤗

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2025-07-23T11:57:03+00:00

Some men will never be monogamous. If you want to be with a man who happens to be like that then you will need to accept him for who he is. Many women do so.

Not all “high value/rich” men do this, although they likely could if they wanted to, they chose not to for their own reasons. Some value holding themselves to a higher standard, value their religious beliefs or value wanting to maintain their family legacy and guard against children out of wedlock. So they have their reasons beyond “my wife won’t let me.”

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-07-24T14:42:22+00:00

No woman who respects your relationship is fucking your husband. The answer is no to all of this.

imaproperlady · 2025-07-23T03:57:03+00:00

brownnbunnie · 2025-07-23T03:56:55+00:00

No. I am monogamous, my husband will be monogamous. If he chooses to betray me, I leave. This is why women need to protect their own autonomy. Do not let a man barter and haggle for your loyalty simply because he is your only source of material survival. I want true love and a dedicated husband/father to grow to old age with, not just a handsome wallet.

Furthermore, imagine what example you're setting for your children. Absolutely not.

Economy-Debt5822 · 2025-07-26T06:51:45+00:00

No way. That is not high value.

Narrow-Bed-7432 · 2025-07-23T04:16:26+00:00

In my opinion his "need" to be with other women is no stronger than your "need" to be with other men. Men are not these raging horndogs we've made them out to be. They get bored just like us.

It comes down to a matter of agreement. We're all grown-ups. This is not a fairytale la-la land bedtime story.

Do you agree with your husband being with other women? Yes or no. Decide and stand on that decision.

If yes, establish that clearly and don't be overly emotional or start resenting him for an agreement you both made. And for goodness sake, get something out of it! Providing comes along with marriage, and the least he can do is be nice about it. If you're accepting of him being with other women, please be smart enough to get something for yourself of equal value. I recommend a sizable automatic monthly deposit and a post-nup that will incentivize him to not run off with one of the side chicks, but to each their own.

If you don't agree with it (or will never agree with it), again -- let that be known clearly before you marry him. Get ahead of these things ladies.

And no, all high value men are not like that. In my experience, I'd say it's a 60/40 split, with most of them being... like that. Plenty are not, though. The tides are turning with the 45 and under crowd, and a lot of them are seeing the social currency that comes along with monogamy to be worth the monotony.

Always remember - they're high value men because they value VALUE. Stay valuable, ladies. Don't sell yourself short or accept less than you desire.

Individual-Upstairs4 · 2025-07-23T06:44:28+00:00

For me it’s not worth the emotional and mental toll it puts on me. Usually in this dynamic the man is selfish and only think of his own pleasure and really isn’t able to deal with the emotional damage it will cause and l don’t think it’s fair for one person to deal with. I would much rather be alone and have peace instead of worrying about a man that’s not fully worry about me.

blondehairedangel · 2025-07-26T11:30:21+00:00

Nope. I'm a Christian and I'm not interested in rich men. We're both Christian and we share the same beliefs. Cheating is only "okay" for men in this little secular ideology. The RP is only useful to an extent. I'm not going to make myself miserable and serve some asshole that thinks he can sleep around. Men who sleep around disgust me just as much as the women who do. No thanks. I like my household free of STIs. I couldn't care less what the red pill says about it, I'm drawing a line. It'd rather just stay single at that point. I'm married to an amazing husband. 🫶🏼🥰

If you're secular and looking to be with some rich CEO then honestly yeah you're likely going to end up with some trade offs but you're expecting to be bought at that point so that's on you if that's what you choose. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Men in those circles are extremely unlikely to be chaste, a Christian, or humble at all. Pretty much all traits that are major turn offs for me lol.

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2025-07-23T04:11:17+00:00

No. Not all high value men are like that, and no, I would not accept it if my husband tried to be with other women. Would your husband be okay with you being with another man? If not, why should you be okay with him being with someone else?

My husband would never want to be with anyone else. He loves me and does not want to hurt me or do anything to jeopardize the relationship. Even if I was ok with it, he would not be. It would cheapen and lessen what we have. There is something sacred (for lack of a better word) to the bond of marriage even if you aren't religious, at least in our opinion, and our marriage.

Btw, My husband is "high value" (very handsome, intelligent, tall, six figures, PhD, treats me like gold, etc), and so are several of my friends husbands who do not cheat on them. They are definitely out there.

ETA: a man who cheats or needs other women isn't actually high value at all.

PowerfulStill7250 · 2025-07-26T10:00:40+00:00

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-07-26T15:52:30+00:00

Not all high value men are like this, no. All men will have flaws but infidelity is one that puts a woman in serious jeopardy with her social circle. As you can probably tell from the comments, it's a big taboo and unless your man is very, very discreet you could end up seriously embarrassed. It's a big risk. No woman wants to be the wife of the Astronomer CEO right now. If you know about the other woman, you will most likely have to lie to your family and friends about her.

Him having a mistress is a major lifestyle change. I would recommend you take some time to think of your own major change that would make this worthwhile. Something ongoing that adds complexity and enjoyment to your life, like...I don't know, vacationing for a long time in the place of your choice once a year. I do not recommend taking a side piece of your own, I think that's a really lazy suggestion for equality and a woman is not nearly as likely to value that as much as a man. The fact that you're writing this post makes me think you lean more hypergamous than polygynous anyway.

If you cannot think of anything that would make this worthwhile, then I think you might be better off in a different relationship long-term. I don't think I would be built for this, but for another woman it might be a more palatable package.

ivysaurah · 2025-07-29T02:54:58+00:00

No. I’m not at all attracted to a provider who lacks discipline.

Lack of loyalty = lack of discipline, and that’s a huge turn off for me. You mean you’re a man and can’t even deny your most basal desires for the betterment of your chosen family unit? It’s pathetic.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-07-24T15:23:20+00:00

So I will explain this to you from the "Rule 9 Violation" side, not to convince you - you have to decide for yourself what is acceptable to you - but so you can understand it.

Are you married now or are you asking in general? Has a bf proposed this to you?

For some people, it's monogamy or nothing and others can tolerate being the "primary" with some side chicks so long as the man keeps everything straight in his head and some women are bisexual and perfectly happy to share women with their men - but I sense that this is not you.

Especially if it’s a woman who respects you and your relationship, and he is always honest and upfront about his desires.

Ahh, so the "European Model" of extracurriculars.

Are all high value men like this?

Not at all. Many are monogamous. My folks were happily married for over 60 years and I doubt they even looked at other people.

You will hear btw "He can't be an HVM if...!" but the reality is he has to be to get women to agree to sharing him - nobody is going to share some loser.

So either you can tolerate this or you cannot. For men, it's different. Sex and emotion are not nearly as connected. Think of it like a man having a McDonald's cheeseburger for lunch and then coming home and having a delicious meal lovingly prepared by his wife. Does he enjoy it less because he had McD for lunch? Nope.

In my case, I am not married, and I have always had a high drive. Sometimes, I am monogamous, but in general that's when I have a gf who also has a high drive. So maintaining multiple liaisons mutes that, and also if you have only one woman, she can leave you high and dry and you have to start over. No thank you.

It seems you are not particularly suited or enthusiastic about this type of lifestyle, so you may want to pass on this type of relationship.

SupremeWaifu69 · 2025-07-26T18:34:44+00:00

Men that fall for desire and cannot exercise discipline to commit are not at all high value, or maybe you’re not high value to him so he won’t commit to you and you’re just a plate.

fastfishyfood · 2025-07-23T04:32:37+00:00

Fuck no. I have no interest in playing second fiddle or being involved in some sort of poly situation. If he’s not focused his romantic & sexual attention on me, I’m out.

Fantastic-Fudge888 · 2025-07-26T21:11:04+00:00

High Value means he is of high value TO YOU.

Not the BS societal materialistic "hight net worth" please don't confuse finances with value.

What value does he bring to your life? If its not then he is not a HIGH VALUE man to you.

alis_adventureland · 2025-07-29T20:31:53+00:00

Absolutely the fuck not.

Nice-Awareness-5827 · 2025-07-26T15:11:34+00:00

No.

My husband is “high value” (very smart, successful, tall, very fit, endowed down there, leads our relationship, communicates extremely well, etc) and he has read up on all things dating, red pill, etc. His stance is that men “lustfully” desire variation sometimes but shouldn’t act on it and that conscious monogamy with one woman is the route to go. For your soul, for society, for long term fulfillment and happiness.

I think men in the red pill community use the fact that they naturally have these desires to just act on them-when in fact, us women too have many desires (emotional, etc) and were expected NOT to act on them. Us humans can’t just act on every thing we feel, or else the world would be chaos.

A good high quality man is going to acknowledge nature and these things and consciously choose to be monogamous with a woman he loves and chooses to be with forever.

unefilleperdue · 2025-07-23T04:57:11+00:00

gonna go against the grain of the rest of these comments but I personally have no issue with it. my man having flings with other women does not detract from his love of me.

do what feels right for you at the end of the day, the reddit comments don't matter. it's an unpopular lifestyle choice but if you like it then do it. if you don't, then don't.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-23T03:42:25+00:00

Title: Do you just accept his need to be with other women?

Author No_Friendship_1935

Full text: If he is providing for you and doing everything else perfectly, but he wants to be with other women do you accept that? Especially if it’s a woman who respects you and your relationship, and he is always honest and upfront about his desires. Are all high value men like this?

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ArdentBandicoot · 2025-07-23T06:48:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lileima · 2025-07-26T20:53:44+00:00

Real high value men aren’t animals. They don’t submit to every desire their brain comes up with. If they think they “need” or “deserve” to sleep with multiple women, they’re really just being weak and submitting to their basest desires. This lack of discipline does not create a high value man.

CinnamonNo5 · 2025-07-27T03:47:08+00:00

No, all high value men are not like this. This sounds like possibly one-sided polyamory. I would wager that most women here are monogamous, including myself, and would not be happy with this set up.

If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of sharing him with other women, be honest with yourself and walk away. If you are monogamous, this kind of relationship may not be a happy pairing for you.

codru-critter · 2025-07-28T21:45:46+00:00

He is not high value if he’s not monogamous imo

Foreign-Style4852 · 2025-08-05T00:23:32+00:00

You don't accept him letting you find out about it.

Title	Do you just accept his need to be with other women?
Author	No_Friendship_1935
Upvotes	13
Comments	74
Date	July 23, 2025 3:42 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1m6yzlp/do_you_just_accept_his_need_to_be_with_other_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-you-just-accept-his-need-to-be-with-other-women.1557843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557843

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