Where in the world can I go that I will matter?

Clippy4Life · 2025-10-02T13:43:27+00:00

If you are tired of providing for others, nobody is saying you have to. Truth is you don't owe anyone anything. Especially at your age. You've done your work. You should be able to relax for a while. As for who you matter to, home is where those who love you are waiting for you. If you don't have that, well, best of luck finding another way.

gundahir · 2025-10-02T14:06:04+00:00

I have been to over 40 countries and basically they fall into 2 categories. First one are wealthy countries where some women see you as a walking wallet and some are interested in who you are. Second one are poor countries where the vast majority of women see you as a walking wallet. In both cases the vast majority of women do want to be approached and don't initiate. I recommend you spend time there traveling before you move.

Same_Sentence_3470 · 2025-10-02T15:17:18+00:00

I’m in the same situation you are but I’m not looking to move because I don’t think it will matter. I have a couple hobbies and sports that keep me busy during some parts of the year. I really enjoy my house and would like to share it but I know that ultimately I will just get used. The US is really bad but it sounds like England, Australia, and other places have it worse than we do. I guess my only advice to you is try what I do which is find things that you like to do. My biggest problem is at night when I just want to relax and watch TV and nearly everything on TV is made for women and flat out anti male. I don’t feel like sitting there having the TV tell me how worthless I am so I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching videos that interest me.

SaltyDawg1966 · 2025-10-02T17:05:03+00:00

The place you’re L👀King for is a place called Alone. It’s a place of peace. I enjoy it here.

Argentarius1 · 2025-10-02T14:03:22+00:00

I think it's time to recognize that you were raised to be small and unobtrusive and to fight women's battles for them instead of your own on purpose because feminists and lesbians don't like or understand men and reclaim some of what was suppressed in you.

Its immoral to attempt to flatten the male character and there need to be severe enough consequences now that that point is firmly understood.

You should reconsider children. There should be part of you that survives instead of the civilization killing track feminism set you on.

I want America to do well so I want you here and confident in your worth because emotionally whole men are where most of a country's strength comes from.

PastDifficulty7 · 2025-10-02T13:48:24+00:00

I am sorry that dating has felt so pointless. You matter, and you always have; but I am sorry that nobody has seen your worth yet. Moving to a new location can be so good for mental health. I wish you all the best wherever you land. Scandanavia sounds awesome, but the U.S. is also a big, diverse country. There possibilities are endless.

whatwhatwtf · 2025-10-02T14:58:24+00:00

If you’re affected by negative thinking it won’t matter where you go, as you’ll take your thinking with you. Truth is if no one loves you, you have to love yourself. Become your best self. If you want to become a positive influence on society you can do exactly that.

I try to help people, be the guy I needed as a kid. There’s a lot of negative toxic masculinity out there if you really want to influence and change society you could clearly become the opposite of that and on your own terms. I love who I’ve become.

Cloxxki · 2025-10-02T13:57:39+00:00

Scandinavia?? You might be exotic there, but not sure you'd be preferred over locals. They speak better English than Americans, but until you speak Viking, you're an outsider. That goes around the world actually. Change your mindset. Get rid of negative impressions, they project your reality outward. Start travelling just enjoying yourself. Women go nuts for men that barely acknowledge them. Don't listen to women about dating, they don't know what they like and respond to, utter disconnect from reality.

Stophbenson · 2025-10-02T18:06:13+00:00

I think Scandinavia (where I live) might be worth a try. I think many couples here are truly equal, with mutual respect, they take exactly the same responsibilities for the economy, the family, the future, the social aspects and the intimacy. My wife takes her role as a provider and a supporter quite naturally and intuitively, just like me.

MaineMan1234 · 2025-10-02T15:21:57+00:00

Here’s an out of the box suggestion. Italy.

The marriage and birth rates in Italy have dropped dramatically as Italian women want more than offered by many Italian men, who were likely raised by indulgent mothers who spoiled them and waited on them hand and foot. So they choose to be alone than to marry a non-functional adult. I have a few male relatives in Italy like this and their poor wives are miserable or these guys are living at home single in their 30s not working and sponging off their parents

Modern Italian women want a partner who will shoulder half the burden and not dump everything on them. Italians know that women are treated better in the US. So if you show up in an Italian city looking for an equal partner, I bet you could find one pretty easily.

And Italians in cities are not poor so won’t necessarily be after you for your wealth, just interested due to the cultural difference.

For an out of the box suggestion in the US, look at Maine. Maine has a culture of independence and it gets instilled in men and women. My partner is the hardest working, most loyal and least entitled person I know. She is a Mainer through and through. So worth checking out.

myrrycal · 2025-10-02T13:35:33+00:00

toblotron · 2025-10-02T13:56:21+00:00

Scandinavia may be better in some ways, but I wouldn't want to bet that it is overall better than the US- of course, I don't have any super- clear view of what it's like there

I'm also 52M, and trying to date here - right now I have a pretty interesting girl that I'm taking to, but for every decent date there seems to be about 2 ghosting weirdo-women who are just messing with you :)

I guess there is not as much pressure to be a "traditional masculine man" here, and that is a good thing I think

3goldteeth · 2025-10-02T14:20:39+00:00

Where do you live?

JadedIdentity · 2025-10-02T14:21:29+00:00

Similar issues but 10 years younger. Been thinking about Scandinavia, too.

ronstoppable7 · 2025-10-02T16:05:29+00:00

So to the ppl saying Scandinavia, are they the closest Western country with actual equality between the genders?

Plenty_Suspect_3446 · 2025-10-02T16:08:06+00:00

Always travel before you move. Being a tourist might not provide insight on the reality of living in a place but it does give you a glimpse.

November87 · 2025-10-02T17:05:44+00:00

Scandinavia is the exact opposite of what you're looking for

AndyRoo2023 · 2025-10-02T20:49:02+00:00

Since in your EDIT 2: you ‘don’t give a shit’ about our opinions here, in addition to emoting and expressing yourself exactly like the 2 lesbian feminists who raised you and engendered into you their sentiments and sensibilities…wouldn’t you be better off (and be more comfortable) finding an all female / feminist subreddit who’ll be happy to indulge you with their non-traditional set-ups…and their version of ‘equality’, (which you already seem to have)…it’d save you becoming enraged / passive aggressive with the men here, most of whom you don’t resonate with.🤷🏻‍♂️

Yamariv1 · 2025-10-02T22:48:32+00:00

You keep mentioning "true equality" sorry to break it to you but men and women are different, true equality is a feminist myth.

randonumero · 2025-10-04T01:48:17+00:00

What do you have to actually offer? You say you're tired of the expectations of men in the US and feel like a second class citizen, can you expand on what's happening to you? The reality is that many people who leave the US don't experience much of a change because they don't change.

If you really want a place where the value of your work is what matters more than skin color or what's between your legs then ask yourself what you can do. Most merit based lifestyles are going to involve you living and working in confined environments with a bunch of guys, living on a commune or getting super wealthy.

FWIW the US is a huge country and there are tons of places where if you have the means you can easily get left to your own devices. The work and life won't be easy but people flee to Alaska at times for what you're seeking. Other do things like the merchant marines. Ultimately you'll probably need to take the time to actually define what you want in life and what you're willing to do to get it.

Independent_Quote626 · 2025-10-05T05:19:33+00:00

I'm not in any way being rude here but I'm curious about your situation. I'm concerned that someone has been taking advantage of you because you mentioned that you have no children or ex wives yet you're tired of being expected to provide. Who are you providing for?!

Independent_Quote626 · 2025-10-05T05:21:20+00:00

Ignore my last reply I've just read the rest of this thread. You most definitely need to move to Thailand

jjj2576 · 2025-10-02T14:02:52+00:00

Take your time and research places— hit some Passbort Bro’s up, and ask folks about these places. Do some traveling.

You matter, dude. Don’t let oppressive systems make you feel otherwise. Where are some places you want to travel, and what are some things you want to do?

Mill-Work-Freedom · 2025-10-02T14:35:46+00:00

I get it, move to a new place, start a new adventure, whatever, to escape the world you no longer like. However something to keep in mind: No matter where you go, you, your mind set and how you think will be there!

Only you can allow another persons or systems ideas to dwell in your mind. You have to let go of that and decide how your life will go moving forward, and not give two bits about the past.

Consistent_Ad3181 · 2025-10-02T13:50:21+00:00

Poorer countries

skcuf2 · 2025-10-02T14:40:32+00:00

This post reads like it was AI taking all of the potential results for a MAGA slippery slope of homosexuality and wraps it into one. I'm having trouble believing it's real. That being said, if it is real, there might be something to the fallacy.

Either way, I know a guy who's done Thailand and Colombia and had a great time in both. He's currently in talks with a girl he met in Colombia and they've been 'steady' for the past couple of years.

What's weird about this post is that it comes across like you want to date, but don't want to date at the same time. Anyone you meet of a similar age group at that age is going to already have lived a pretty substantial life and it's harder to find compatibility the further on in life you go. More solo experiences means less opportunity for shared experiences and even less shared 'firsts.'

If you're just looking for a place to get your nut off, find a country with brothels or something. Apparently Japan has places that can give you tug jobs because it's not penetration, so you're not limited to third world countries.

Personally, I'd say try to find some stuff to make you happy where you are. A new club or something would probably be nice. Go to the local community college and learn some skills or something. Find something you're bad at and fail at it over and over again so you can actually succeed at something that wasn't easy and get the dopamine you require.

LateralThinker13 · 2025-10-02T16:41:39+00:00

So I'm a 52-year-old Caucasian male that unfortunately lives in the United States.

Unfortunately? If you think it's unfortunate you're not paying attention.

I was raised by two lesbian feminists, back when feminism was less toxic, and I call out sexism wherever I see it.

Feminism has always been toxic; it just used to have better press, the Big Lie about it being about equality was better marketed. Since it gained power, its true colors have become apparent: female supremacy without limit.

I'm tired of the expectations on men in our society. I'm tired of being judged for what I provide and not who I am.

This is how the average woman, worldwide, looks at men. Stop judging yourself by others' values, and instead develop competence and confidence based solely upon yourself and your achievements.

In other words, STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU *($##^@!!!

I am tired of dating being hopeless for men.

Dating works in one place only, in person and in red areas. Get out of the big cities, and for the love of God get offline.

That leads me to wonder where I can go where I will matter?

Help one person. There, you matter. Again, stop caring what others think, and stop trying to get others to validate you. External validation is why women/feminists are so toxic these days, and why social media has devastated the quality of women in the West. Don't you fall prey to it too.

I'm looking for somewhere where women and men are treated equally.

What do you mean equally? Do you mean treated the same? Or do you mean that neither is discriminated against? Because in liberal/blue cities you get equal treatment as if gender doesn't matter/is a social construct, and this is why they are cesspools of confusion, violence, and dysfunction. Or you can go to red cities/states/the country, where only your merits and actions actually matter. But if you do that, if you go to a more traditional place (I heard the sneer in your words) you'll be treated based upon what you're actually worth.

It's not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure. You have the liberal delusion that places like Scandanavia are great. Okay, go visit for a few weeks, meet the people. See the society. Go learn about the (lack of) social mobility, or how they imported their own destruction and then rationalized it as a good thing (hordes of unassimilated Muslims). Keep with the same failing ideology and beliefs that are destroying the West and making you miserable.

Or maybe, just maybe, pop out of your bubble, stop sneering at "traditional" values and people, and give another way a shot. Just an idea.

And for the record (because liberals love to attack the messenger, never addressing the message), I am not a far right fascist neocon or anything. I'm just a world traveler who operates from truth, not delusion or idealism.

blah938 · 2025-10-02T19:27:11+00:00

Any small town. Personally, the Cumbres and Toltec Railroad in Chama NM is looking for people to help run their steam trains. Small town, everyone knows each other. It's a good place for a single dude without big bills.

Broad-Choice-5961 · 2025-10-02T19:47:42+00:00

Welcome to Merica land of the lambasted. If you find what you seek please let us know as there are many are after the same.

rahsoft · 2025-10-05T09:16:35+00:00

I think you dont know what you really want

you think Scandinavia is better? you buying into the "dream" that is put out there "grass is greener " syndrome

many people dont think so especially given that the countries of Scandinavia are slightly different from each other ( that include the Nordics)

Ive known people from there and they have the same complaints that everyone else has about life, the way they are treated( its not all good). they leave if they can because its not as great as people claim. The only people flocking there are those not looking for equality, but are featured in the crime stats that has now got to the point that the locals are upset and want action.

Even visiting for short period will not give you a taste of life there.

Ive lived in multiple different countries with very different cultures. What you experience is simply swapping one set of problem for another..

if you think that "islamist rape" is fabricated, then I question your critical thinking skills because that is an appalling way to look at victims( both female and male) especially as you were supposed to be raised by feminist lesbians. go and look up anna marie walters her self a lesbian feminist( and former political party member) who is outspoken about the "islamist rapes".

I think you are better off just roaming around in your van around the USA working on yourself( your negativity, suppressed anger,anger with the world, cynical view, your emotions etc), getting some kind of therapy for your life, examining your life etc , your relationship with your parents elder bitterness( you said). going overseas looking for some kind of "utopia" wont help you or magically "heal you" because its you not the place...

best of luck in whatever you decide to do...

mnight75 · 2025-10-07T00:37:24+00:00

Mars needs Men. Its where I am heading first chance I get.

Key_Yogurtcloset2941 · 2025-10-02T16:09:25+00:00

First, what do you think brought us to this point? It's feminist women and men who were conditioned to think and behave like feminist women.

Second, "...call out sexism whenever I see it" is another stereotypical idealistic feminist phrase that doesn't account for the fact that 98% of what feminists call "sexism" does actually have it's natural purpose, keeps us safe, makes sure we get attracted to each other and find a matching partner. Guess what, there are a lot of women out there who are not attracted to men who will not carry heavy stuff for them or can tell them that they look sexy in their outfit because "that would be sexist".

Third, what you are looking for is not an equal but someone who is just as ideological blind as you are, to be able to find a feminist man attractive but not as blind as being as radical as the neo feminists.

Congrats, this is the perfect example of what happens with men who were raised and formed by feminism. It doesn't matter where you go, since what you're feeling is not coming from the location you're at but from within. Rise above your upbringing and you'll find what you are looking for.

E-werd · 2025-10-02T16:51:59+00:00

I don't like this, it comes across very mopey. You're not going to solve your problems by moving far, far away--you'll just shift the problem to a new location. I'm going to assume this isn't about finding love. I have a couple thoughts.

Brother, do you matter to yourself? If you don't like you, why should anybody else? It sounds like you're trying to build your self-worth off of others opinions of you, you're going to have a bad time doing that. Putting forward that apologetic self-loathing attitude is as effective as walking around with dog shit under your shoe. It doesn't matter the type of people you encounter, good or bad, because they're going to smell it. Build your confidence and get comfortable with yourself.

You say you're looking to be equal and to matter, but what does that mean to you? What are you specifically lacking that you're not getting? And why do you think you should get it, do you give it to others?

The solutions to most problems start from within. This is because you are the only thing you can truly control.

dudester3 · 2025-10-03T08:16:40+00:00

Is this a bot?

Miles-Standoffish · 2025-10-03T03:48:22+00:00

Go to a Bible believing church.

Title	Where in the world can I go that I will matter?
Author	UnwantedThrowawayGuy
Upvotes	130
Comments	183
Date	October 2, 2025 1:29 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1nw3tsp/where_in_the_world_can_i_go_that_i_will_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/where-in-the-world-can-i-go-that-i-will-matter.1563282 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563282

Comments