Not mentally ready for the first night alone

engineered-chemistry · 2025-10-19T20:01:38+00:00

Rejoice in the silence of not fighting anymore and find more things you used to love but pulled away from during the marriage! For me it was DIY projects to my house, motorcycle riding, camping, tennis etc. At first the free time feels lonely but as you fill your time up it’s refreshing!

KendhammerJ · 2025-10-19T19:29:03+00:00

It is tough brotha and will take some adjustments. I found the best thing for me to do was to sit down and reflect on where I am in life at the current point in time and where I want to go now that the relationship is over. Many men struggle for a long time after a divorce or separation because they focus too much on the past instead of what they want their life to look like.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2025-10-19T02:34:44+00:00

Oh man it hurts. It’s really hard. The best thing you can do is sleep. It’s the only thing I could do to escape the hurt. I put on a podcast or comfort tv to doze off to.

Lucky-Pomegranate-96 · 2025-10-18T20:20:21+00:00

I’ve never posted on this sub but my move out date is next week … and I’m scared too. But also hopeful for a new future

Unlike others my divorce is playing amicably . My kids and STBXW are going to help me move in and we will eat as a family

After they leave … well that’s the interesting part . I’ve told myself I’ll plan to call a guy friend of mine I helped when he was divorced; he told me to call but his life is good now and he’s got a serious GF and busy . So if he’s busy then I’ll probably just exercise some then read or maybe draw (my hobby) although I may not be in the right head space .

I’ll probably be on Reddit some reading this sub lol. But like others have said just survive night 1 without alcohol.

parkinglot_thnksalot · 2025-10-17T19:19:37+00:00

Went through this too. Crazy but it will be ok. Stay away from alcohol. Waking up hung over will make it worse

MonarchistExtreme · 2025-10-17T17:35:22+00:00

At first I drank which was a huge mistake...it let me pass out and sleep thru the night but the quality of sleep sucked and made me more depressed during waking hours.

It may sound simple or stupid but I started doing jigsaw puzzles. It requires concentration, you get some gratification from your progress and it was nice something to do while listening to a podcast or audio book.

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-10-17T12:04:34+00:00

⚠️DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE⚠️ unless u have a lawyer-approved agreement is in place or legally advised/forced to do so (you lawyer or judge decision). Repeat that to yourself 10 x. Seriously.
Here's why:https://slimwiki.com/survival/getting-started/stay-in-the-house-jkfcyu7jtn-gyh3b26xircq

zvekl · 2025-10-17T08:52:19+00:00

You got this.

I paid for YouTube and not having ads makes using it so much more enjoyable.

Whenever I feel silence I just turn it on my phone and play some standup or improv whatever. It’s entertaining and actually nicer than having to quietly listen to not wake the lazy ~~sob~~ dob

wonderer4920 · 2025-10-17T07:11:57+00:00

I feel you, man. I felt the same way. But after some time you’ll begin to appreciate being alone.

Fweethinkew · 2025-10-17T05:02:02+00:00

I don't watch much tv. So I would walk my dog, then do callisthenics, take my 5mile walk while listening to books, then bath and early bed. I have MDD since childhood, so the night can sometimes be full of terrors. If you like tv, then go with that.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-10-16T22:08:14+00:00

I'm envious. I haven't had a night alone since 1998. I wound up with the kids when the ex left. I'm moving out next year but that will be with my gf.

If it were me I'd get a dog/cat. Get some good food to make yourself some nice meals. Go out and grab a coffee (easy way to meet women), hit the gym, read, draw, listen to music. Enjoy the dream.

IllBrother6221 · 2025-10-16T16:27:47+00:00

Feet up, watch the telly, a beer. Marvel at how tidy everything is. Get a goodnight sleep not being woke up by the snoring.

Dont you get days and weeks on your own now? Do you enjoy that time?

Commercial_Song_7595 · 2025-10-16T12:55:44+00:00

My first night alone I slept in my truck at the grocery store. She yelled at me and told me not to come home … so I didn’t. That was the final straw for me. Shes told my many times she wants a divorce we’ve tried to work past that, but drunk and telling me not to come home … ok careful what you wish for

Visible-Gift8361 · 2025-10-16T12:30:02+00:00

Bro I’m kinda jealous. Pretty much my financial status doesn’t let me just up and get a lease I’ll be with my parents for a lil till I get up on my feet. Like the guy said above enjoy it man. I know it may feel a lil lonely but you got ur own place to ur self take it as a blessing. Best of luck.

dystinct · 2025-10-16T11:37:39+00:00

First things first. Hook up the TV, order a pizza, and enjoy the peacefulness.

StandardButPoor500 · 2025-10-16T10:59:17+00:00

It's amazing how much noise you had in your life if a period of silence frightens you.

Moment of silence is a rare gift from the Gods when we can think, reflect, plan, process, relax and meditate, pray if we believe in any of them or just exist - instead of listening and speaking.

Also, if you move to a new place, don't you have like 500 small things to take care of? Connect a dishwasher, buy some furniture, probably fix some things or at least decorate.

arisen_sumo243 · 2025-10-16T10:41:35+00:00

It's a wave buddy, and it can feel like crashing, but you just hold on and the crashing waves will pass. Clear your head and focus on holding on, calm and control, thats the first night - regain some inner peace. I wish you a lot if courage and strength good man.

Title	Not mentally ready for the first night alone
Author	Regular-Tax8483
Upvotes	10
Comments	23
Date	October 16, 2025 3:55 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1o7wa6g/not_mentally_ready_for_the_first_night_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-mentally-ready-for-the-first-night-alone.1564236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564236

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