It’s been a year since my wife walked away and filed for divorce. We were together for 17 years, built a life, had four kids, and shared what I thought was real love. While hospitalized for a nervous breakdown, I stupidly signed an agreement giving her exclusive control of the house. Thinking she needed to feel safe and secure, and that it was temporary. After getting this agreement, she used the silver bullet of claiming DV. Opening a CPS file on me and claiming all manner of “violence”. The file concluded after four months with no findings. But the damage was done.

She’s shut down all communication outside of official channels. Everything goes through lawyers or email, and any hint of emotion from me gets ignored or used as proof that she made the right decision. I’ve changed. I’ve worked hard to become stable, calm, healthy, and consistent. But she’s unreachable and the silence is brutal.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how someone can just cut off their family like this. I know I can’t control her and I know the advice will be to focus on myself and I am but it’s hard to stop wondering if any of it ever meant what I thought it did.

If anyone here has made peace with the unanswered “why” I’d really appreciate hearing how you did it.