Hey everyone. I (33M) wanted to share my situation because I could really use some advice. I’ve been going through a rough patch financially. I’m a freelance artist and this year I barely had any work. I’ve been living off my savings and the occasional commission.
On top of that, my mom had to move in with me for a while because she separated from her partner, went through a mental health crisis, and can’t be alone right now. It’s only temporary—she’s doing much better and she’s even helping me with rent, so in some ways it’s actually convenient.
Still, this means things are tight: I don’t have much money, and I currently have zero privacy since I’m sharing my place with my mom.
Two months ago I ended things with my girlfriend, and I’d like to start dating again. Before that relationship I did pretty well with women—not a fuckboy, but I did okay. I went on several dates from Bumble and Tinder, and many of them ended in sex.
But here’s the issue: Back then, I was the one paying for most dates (and I didn’t mind because I had money), and most of the time we ended up having sex at my place. It felt natural to escalate things by inviting them over after a good date.
Now I’m broke, and I live with my mom. So… how the hell am I supposed to rebuild my dating and sex life?
I’m already working on improving my financial situation—I’m starting a business—but it’ll take some time before things stabilize. I’d prefer not to be celibate until then. I also want to detach myself from that idea many men grow up with: that we aren’t “real men” unless we have money, and therefore don’t “deserve” women in our lives.
And then there’s the fact that my mom is in my apartment, which is small, so bringing someone over is absolutely off the table (it would be super awkward). In my experience, very few women invite you over the first time you’re going to have sex.
Hotels are expensive, and inviting someone to a hotel on the first night doesn’t feel very natural either.
So… what would you advise me to do in this situation? Thanks a lot in advance.
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