How do you manage life with 3 kids after divorce?

Tough_Jackfruit_7161 · 2026-02-01T10:01:58+00:00

I only have two but I did most of the work with my first anyway who is ND. I get about 70% and she does 30. Its hard yeah I see my career trajectory kinda drifting away as I have to put my kids first but still worth the sacrifice.

RealDamage007 · 2026-01-31T11:25:22+00:00

I don’t have three kids so that must be challenging. I have one but prior to divorce I did practically everything. So this is actually refreshing as she has to pull some weight now. I always planned ahead because I could never rely on her. Planning ahead is a must. In fact my kid knows that about me at this point.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-01-30T21:08:15+00:00

For the first year post-divorce, you need to set aside additional time to deal with "firsts" -- birthdays, doctor appointments, parent-teacher meetings, holidays, etc. They'll require some additional attention to figure out the new norm.

As you get older, your problems don't go away. In fact they become more complicated. So you become better at problem solving.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-01-30T13:31:32+00:00

Ex was a literal b*tch to deal with. I practically did everything, so nothing has changed.

engineered-chemistry · 2026-01-30T13:08:06+00:00

3 kids under 11 here. Scheduling, planning is absolutely necessary. What is your custody arrangement? My 50/50 honestly feels like less work because I have half the time to myself and I’m not having to deal with my ex and my 3 kids all the time. At first I was overwhelmed until I realized what my life looked like before. Sure I’m busy when I have my kids, but I also have so much more time to do what I want, hobbies, friends during the off time.

The_Answer1313 · 2026-01-30T06:08:44+00:00

I figure this might be hard especially with 3 but I would try to look at this as positive as possible.

Having that time with them while I could see difficult and challenging could be a blessing.

Dealing with divorce now I’m having trouble even if it settles to 50/50. I look at it like I want 100. Then again over the past two years my wife has done nothing but spend time with the new BF. So it’s not much a difference to me in what I was already doing as far as responsibly goes.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2026-01-30T04:38:17+00:00

How old are kids? I got divorced when my child just turned 7. For first 6 months he lived with me 100% of time, for the following 6 years 70% of time. It was totally manageable without any help - I have no relatives other than my son in this country.

Fawn001 · 2026-01-30T01:01:50+00:00

I have a 7 yr old n twins about to turn 6. 50% cudtody n work full time. My ex didnt do much around the house before the split so isnt much of a change. But what has helped is working from home more, saying no to more things outside of us four and structure. I meal prep a fair bit, so theres always lots of heslthy food on hand. But its still really hard at times and so need to go easy on yourself and the kids. Identifying wat can slip and wat cant also helps. If u find it hard, that means ur trying to be a gd parent which is all we can do.

probebeta · 2026-01-29T21:53:38+00:00

I don't have 3 but things get a bit easier as they grow up, with work dating and chores. Interestingly I don't have the appetite for going out and doing all the single stuff like I used to. In other words, there are times when I'd rather stay home on a Friday night with my kid then go out on some date and listen to her nonsense 😅. It still Is exhausting sometimes though...

fewdo · 2026-01-29T21:49:07+00:00

Lower your expectations to surviving and showing up. Then get better at stuff slowly and do better slowly.

kidkangaroo · 2026-01-29T21:41:56+00:00

What Ocino said. I put up a 4x8 sheet of whiteboard card in the hallway that tracks every thing that's going on 3 months in advance. Everything goes on the board: sporting events sleepovers special events birthdays work trips everything. The kids know that if it's not on the board it doesn't exist. Give the kids jobs in the house or better yet make a list of all the jobs that have to get done and then you and the kids work together to divide up who does what (It goes on the board!) and change frequently so no one gets stuck doing the cat box forever. The best job you'll ever have. The kids all rally and get together and we all pull our weight

miersk · 2026-01-29T19:29:04+00:00

I have two boys full time, full time job, no child support (It basically offsets Alimony) and I can tell you it can be challenging.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-01-29T18:56:12+00:00

Do you have full custody?
Are you receiving child support?

I ask because the support can be used to buy time: cleaners, sitters so you get a few hours solo, and post/pre school child care to extend your work hours.

I have streamlined a lot of things - Auto pay for my bills with 1-2 day before calendar reminders. Some days of the week are always a set time/place/meal (i.e. EVERY Wed is a spaghetti dinner at the dining room table promptly at 630pm - I dont even need to hound the kids anymore they just KNOW it's gonna happen).

I also have become a known face with my kids school and attend meetings when I can so they know i'm a consistent parent. I would like to think this has a trickle down impact with administrators and their teachers.

I also have a semi ridged schedule for shopping, cleaning, and home care.

If they are in extracurriculars - Make friends with the other kids parents and offer to swap out some travel/transport. One day you grab and extra kid and they return the favor.

Finally - put the kids to work (ESPICALLY if you have full custody). Understand YOU cannot do it all AND THAT IS OK. It is not unreasonable to ask your kids to pull some weight. Vacuum, mop, dust, unload a dishwasher, put wet clothing into a dryer. And if they half ass it or dont do it well.... let that go. Better they leave a few socks on the floor and in the washer than not load a dryer at all.

EDIT: I have 50% custody and days I dont have the kids I will do a lot of the 'house' stuff, shopping, ect on that down time but I do like to sprinkle it in there when I have them because I dont want them going back and forth to clean houses filled with food and folded laundy thinking it just appears out of nowhere.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-01-29T18:31:48+00:00

I’m in the mix of it now too, 3 kids also. I can’t get into a routine yet after four months. I hope the best for you and your kids. I just live in the moment when I have them and putz around when I don’t. It’s awful, good luck!

Bagman220 · 2026-01-29T18:17:25+00:00

I have 4 kids. My ex moved 6 hours away so kids are with me every day.

I have to focus on other things, if I slow down it gets hard to deal with. I’m going back to school next month for my doctorate, I read, play video games, I write and produce music, and I work out obsessively. Plus there’s seasonal stuff and holidays to always occupy my mind.

All that stuff is fun but then there’s all the daily stuff too like the chores, dishes, laundry, just stay busy and you’ll eventually forget about it.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-01-29T17:44:38+00:00

I zone out when the kids are asleep by smoking weed and playing Civilization 6 on the X Box.

That takes my mind right off things while getting some much needed rest.

Advanced-Glove-6113 · 2026-01-29T17:17:26+00:00

I will do anything to have my 3 kids 💯 to myself......I currently have them every other week.

I don't know their ages...but try to make more money so you can afford nannies and other services that can make your life easier.

You have an opportunity many of us are dying to have.

Hang in there buddy

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2026-01-29T17:04:44+00:00

You just have to live in the moment and enjoy the time you have with your children because they grow up so fast and the cool memories you make with them now will last everyone a lifetime. You got this, dad!

Title	How do you manage life with 3 kids after divorce?
Author	nb10001
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	January 29, 2026 4:30 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qqdcby/how_do_you_manage_life_with_3_kids_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you-manage-life-with-3-kids-after-divorce.1572243 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572243

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