As motherhood is not a deal, do you really want it to be?

pie-mart · 2026-02-19T00:45:16+00:00

If I can possibly die and am expected by the government to have babies on its command, I definitely expect some form of compensation

Especially since giving birth un the US costs at minimum 10k.

Why the fuck would I risk potentially dying, having to raise a child for 18 fucking years and give up my life for this child... and or potentially be disfigured and have chronic illnesses and ir mental illnesses etc etc

And be expected to go into medical debt for it while the government is constantly criticizing women who aren't wanting to be mothers

All I am bombarded with is how selfish I am for not wanting kids and having to pay at minimum 10k for it. While risking death.

Don't tell me I am bad for not wanting to do that

fiftypoundpuppy · 2026-02-19T04:18:12+00:00

Fascinating how when it comes to the topic of male behavior, "incentives" are screamed from the tops of mountains

It's why women can be unilaterally blamed for male behavior, however undesirable, because human beings are a direct and simple reaction to "incentives." If men being giant assholes didn't work, then men would stop doing it. Men will always behave in the way that women "incentivize" them to

Yet when it comes to the topic of motherhood, all of a sudden "what's in it for me" becomes verboten. Women shouldn't need to be incentivized into it. Women shouldn't need to have a favorable cost-benefit analysis to do it. It should only and purely be out of internal desire, not external motivation or take into account material reality and circumstances

All of a sudden the "rational self-interest" theory gets thrown in the trash

Isn't that curious? For some inexplicable reason, women absorbing the uneven costs and sacrifice of having children ought to just be expected, and what's actually unreasonable is for women to think it should be any other way

Isn't that convenient for men, and for society at large? Society gets their worker bees and men don't have to put forth any additional effort

Btw, you are being intentionally obtuse wrt the specific utilization of the concept of this "deal" as it applies to this particular observation. As I'm sure you're already well aware of

"Deal" isn't meant in terms of some sort of contract, it is meant in terms of a more favorable value exchange. Like, say, a $5 footlong from Subway. Which oddly enough, doesn't somehow bind you into some sort of lifelong obligation of standards by purchasing

But like I said, I know you're intelligent enough to have gleaned that context from the jump. But twisting it into a different meaning means you get to throw this pissy incoherent tantrum at women as you are so fond of doing, and why let that opportunity go to waste?

Ronniebbb · 2026-02-19T06:16:08+00:00

I'm so confused with this...why do we want communism...how is this communism....I'm just so confused

DMmeClownPics · 2026-02-19T03:33:04+00:00

I’m gonna be for real here. I was so much happier being a single mom. It was worth being poor. I should have just done that from the get and never remarried.

Lysa_Bell · 2026-02-19T06:39:42+00:00

I advocate for socialism. Not communism. But let's just look at the male equivalent that a lot of men love to talk about when it comes to the whole "greater good for humanity": war.

Sure draft exists (which I would like to abolish. Nobody shouls fight for their country if they dont want to), but in general a lot of people sign up for the military. And they dont do that because its for the greater good. They do it for a deal. The potential to sacrifice their life. For money, incentives, retirements and perks. Why do veterans that never went to a combat zone get money, discounts etc. But a mom that risk their life to bring another life into the world gets a bill and scrutiny? Moms dont get looked at as hero's. They dont get thanked for their service. Bringing a life into the world should have the same compensation as saving a life.

kmb218 · 2026-02-19T08:47:33+00:00

Mothers and fathers should not be payed or punished for having children. That’s not the point. The point is that having a child poses a massive disadvantage / cost to women (pregnancy, breastfeeding, birth, all the health problems that come with that, career disadvantages etc) so many will simply choose not to have children. This has nothing to do with communism, the opposite. If a job is not worth the pay/benefits, it will not be done.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-02-19T20:51:29+00:00

"society" is not interested in more useless meat,

Of course it is. It needs new generation to do work and pay for older gen.

40% of American 4th graders are borderline illiterate.

And you think it's because of genes? I don't think so. America is a country of immigrants. White are from all over the Europe and in Europe we don't see this issue. Eastern Asian the same. I don't know much about Africa and state of things there, and it's too vast to tell, but i think we would agree that they are genetically capable of learning to read since many of them done that before. So is this because of genes? Because you have druggies that do procreate and Europe doesn't? Do you believe in it? Because while it is an issue that's a weird way to look at it.

how should they be punished?

So let me get this straight. A woman suffered through pregnancy and then through incredible pain you can never imagine while giving birth, might have issues and you want to....punish her more? Just let her be already, Jesus... That's sadistic

I am talking solely breach of contract. The delivered goods are evidently substandard.

Interesting that you call children "goods" but okay i guess. I have only one question, what are the terms of the deal?

Does anyone really want motherhood to be "a deal" with everything that it implies?

Yeah, what it implies? because for now you just brought another punishment adding to others, Can't say that i'm eager to procreate suddenly, if you wanted to motivate - you just created new wave of birth rate crisis.

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ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-02-19T22:18:27+00:00

I’ve been contemplating this, I haven’t worked out the kinks yet but it’s fun to think about so far I have

100k per healthy child birth.

Then avg 50k + per kid per year.

or maybe free housing or a free house in community/family friendly neighborhood.

> where mothers of these children were compensated for not using contraceptives, then for getting pregnant, then for carrying pregnancy to term, then for raising these children to 4th grade... how should they be punished?

pay back some of the money they were given or stop payment until the child is back up to par, then put on a regiment where a social worker does bi-weekly evaluations at the school to see if progress is being made and course is corrected until the child is avg again.

then decrease the social workers progress report to quarterly, then 1x a year until 18.

> Estimated 1 to 5% children have detectable side effects of fetal poisoning, what about those?

dock sone of their pay out of the 100k. since their kid is still likely to grow up to be a productive member of society just less so. So less money seems fair.

> Does anyone really want motherhood to be "a deal" with everything that it implies?

yes if the money is worth it. but I also think kids should be raised like a business anyway.

> maybe the current system, where damages are for the couple to absorb, is already reasonably within women's best interests ?

No it’s pretty much all a drain on resources almost no pros except sentimentality - drain on time, money, energy, permanently damaged bodies etc

I c how ur pov could be reasonable currently, but not so under a system where women have a “duty to society “ or a “ societal obligation to reproduce “ and it’s “ women’s value or assigned role “ or ”societal contract “ .If it’s a duty and obligation to society then society should compensate them if it’s truly as necessary or valuable as they claim.

All other duties and obligations that society deems necessary it pays for, cops, firefighter, soldiers etc.

> and "falling birth rates" have nothing to do with how "bad" the non-deal is?

personally I just don’t want to do it so even in this system im just uninterested . but if society is going to pressure women to do so out of obligation, then compensation for the fulfilling their societal duties is reasonable .

But also motherhood and parent hood is a bad deal there are some ppl that want to have kids but don’t bc of money or do have kids but don’t rear them well enough bc of money .

Anyways I also have some ideas of how to rebuild cities if this was a system then how to spread the success, not only from city to city but also from business to business, think of how such a system will trickle up into the rest of community business such as hospitals, parks, restaurant, local small businesses.

This would be a great start to reigniting community and neighborliness. Everyone will want to be kid friendly/ invested into kids growth so parents spend their money there or live near there and utilize their services.

Then with so much support kids are bound to do well.

imagine that 1st generation that grows up in this system it will be so supported and intelligent that it’s very likely to be willing to support and expand community in return.

If we want to build a society with the next generation is a goal/ purpose, this is a start.

This fixes boys problem of ’feeling left behind by society’ also gives them a ’ rite of passage ‘ since the want one, also fixes boys relationship to work and love, decreases poverty which is the biggest plague on humanity.

potential cons.

too much pressure for kids (like the kids in china) especially if standards grow, might make boys relationship to work and love/ accomplishments worse etc

Edit : the current system is that motherhood is basically a hobby /passion project. Ppl just do so bc they want to. Then its fair that they absorb the cost.

However in a system where ppl have kids bc of societal duty then society should compensate them for performing their duties.

Title	As motherhood is not a deal, do you really want it to be?
Author	abaxeron
Upvotes	0
Comments	33
Date	February 18, 2026 9:02 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r7y20o/as_motherhood_is_not_a_deal_do_you_really_want_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/as-motherhood-is-not-a-deal-do-you-really-want-it.1573785 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573785

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