How to politely ask a flakey girl to respect my time?

ElectricRing · 2026-04-22T18:30:48+00:00

You can’t make a flake not flakey. You can tell her, but in my experience these types of behaviors don’t change. You either accept it or you move on.

trdcr · 2026-04-22T18:07:28+00:00

Why you want to be polite when she's not respecting you and your time?

slycemedia · 2026-04-22T18:47:12+00:00

On to the next my boy

NOZZLeS · 2026-04-22T18:45:59+00:00

"Respec tim, plz"

There you go.

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-22T18:14:44+00:00

Don’t ask. Just tell her. I’ve used variations of this before. You walk away and she can come back chasing you. You might be a little premature to do this. You should also send a time bridge text the day of the date if you can.

“Hey, I am a busy guy, I only like girls who respect my time, this isn’t gonna work out.”

meanderingwolf · 2026-04-22T20:31:40+00:00

It has nothing to do with respecting your time, and everything to do with respecting you.

lordmoldybutt42 · 2026-04-22T19:52:54+00:00

You don’t. You just stop interacting with them

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-22T18:38:59+00:00

You don't, instead, you simply ask yourself, "do i want a girl who disrespects my time, in my life?"

If the answer is "i don't", then you block her/end things and move on and find girls who naturally respect your time.

You don't demand that someone changes, you simply accept they are showing you who they are, and filter them out naturally instead of hoping they change to please you because they won't.

georgeofthejungle71 · 2026-04-22T19:41:15+00:00

So... How amazingly hot is this woman? I'm assuming here that if she was anything less than a 9 you wouldn't be working so hard to make it work.

It's a simple conversation really. I understand your work situation, but, this has become something that's caused me grief and I'd like for you to try to consider my time and the commitment I make to see you.

Gmarlon123 · 2026-04-22T20:25:03+00:00

Start inviting to things you’re gonna do w or without her- that way your not messing up your day

IamaThrowAwway · 2026-04-22T20:30:53+00:00

You don't. You move on.

whatsitworth101 · 2026-04-22T21:28:11+00:00

If a girl flakes on you more than once then I would just move on. She clearly doesn’t think that highly of you if she finds other things that much more important.

Barr3tt50c · 2026-04-22T18:49:07+00:00

I just stop talking to them

Not_RZA_ · 2026-04-22T18:53:55+00:00

Know your worth and don't pay her no mind. The biggest flex you can show a girl like this, is that you don't need her at all.

ForwardTourist6079 · 2026-04-22T19:32:12+00:00

You don't. You move on and forget the POS ever existed. Save your time and energy.

random_question4123 · 2026-04-22T21:16:17+00:00

You should have the mentality that you don’t care if you see her or not. Then you don’t need to be polite with her, be firm.

Say “I will see you at so-and-so place at so-and-so time”. The “or I’m moving on” at the end is silent but she should get the message.

gosao · 2026-04-22T21:33:47+00:00

You don’t tell her anything. She already told you everything with her actions. She’s not that interested.

Ask yourself, how would you act if you had 3 other attractive women in open relationships that were actively trying to go on a date with you?

You genuinely wouldn’t give a fuck. You wouldn’t even see it as disrespectful cause you wouldn’t notice it.

So act this way and redirect your attention to more interest women

RazzleDazzle1537 · 2026-04-22T22:02:15+00:00

She’s not that interested. Move on…

AJohns9316 · 2026-04-22T23:33:15+00:00

Why are you worried about a woman who isn’t your wife being flakey?

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2026-04-23T02:10:55+00:00

"Hey, we've discussed meeting and youve told me you wanna see me and shown interest. I then give you a date....but then you wont respond until AFTER. This now happened multiple times. I get life happens and things happen, but this has happened repeatedly at this point and I don't chase people. If you'd love to meet up great, let's make it happen. Otherwise I genuinely never chase inconsistency and don't have time to do so. There's no point in us talking if you won't follow through and that's not on me. Hmu if you actually wanna make things happen but otherwise I wish you the best."

DEUCES BITCH

Can maybe tweak the last few sentences there but you get the idea.

Was kinda dealing with something similar minus the whole open thing. Let the trash talk itself out bro and stop wasting your time. You can set your foot down otherwise stop tolerating this shit.

I DONT deal in maybes nor i do ambivalence.

If she wanted to she would is an easy saying but I personally think that is a copout for people that wanna break down communication in not the optimal manner tbh. Say what you gotta say and drop this bullshit. If she wants back she'll be around.

Overall_Subject4010 · 2026-04-23T02:31:39+00:00

You dont

TheMrMacaroni · 2026-04-23T04:25:16+00:00

Women don’t care how you feel or when you feel disrespected by their emotional behaviour.

Siddharth100394 · 2026-04-23T05:32:00+00:00

By deleting her no.

Accomplished_Egg_928 · 2026-04-28T18:04:00+00:00

Just don't waste your time on her, then you and your wife stop replying to her messages. Job done.

Ballislife1313 · 2026-04-29T08:59:10+00:00

If you don't respect your own time and your own dignity, no one will do it for you.

Jack26918 · 2026-04-22T18:10:21+00:00

You're expecting a lot of linear behavior from someone who would be down for this in the first place.

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2026-04-22T18:41:46+00:00

You have bigger problems than this flakey girl.

Any_Vacation8988 · 2026-04-22T18:42:11+00:00

Something tells me that the “open” part of your marriage wasn’t your idea. Go bang your wife and leave that girl alone. She’s obviously not feeling it.

becomesharp · 2026-04-22T23:20:21+00:00

The reason you're getting such poor answers to this question is because flaking is a sore spot for a lot of guys and so the situation is very triggering and people are responding out of anger/trauma.

It's the same situation as if a girl said "how do i tell a guy i'm dating that he touched me in a way that I wasn't comfortable with?"

The correct answer is "hey, can i be honest with you about something? The way that you touched my leg made me feel a little bit uncomfortable and I wanted to be able to communicate that without holding it in and it creating resentment between us."

But the answer you'll get from most women is something more along the lines of "dump his ass, he's a loser that doesnt know how to keep his fucking hands to himself." Because so many women have been in that situation that its very triggering to them and that strong emotional reaction prevents people from thinking rationally about the problem.

In your situation, you want to address it calmly and with firmness and maturity but also warmth. Do not get angry, do not get reactive, and do not dump her out of some punitive, "i need to get back at her" type of reaction.

Assuming you guys have some level of rapport (which it sounds like), what I would say is something like, "hey can i be honest with you about something? <she says yes> The last few dates/hangouts/whatever we had setup I blocked time off my calendar and was really looking forward to it but then felt stood up and kind of disrespected when I didn't get any reply back until the next day. I empathize with your work schedule and being busy, i just would have liked better communication in situations like this."

Then let her respond. If she responds defensively and with anger, that's enough of a red flag to tell you that she's probably not someone you want in your life. But you're giving her the benefit of the doubt and youre doing it respectfully and with warmth, which is probably what you would want from her if she was upset at you over some mistake that you made.

This is the mature way to handle a situation like this, not to blow up and be rude or try to get her back by disappearing or storming off.

Not_RZA_ · 2026-04-22T18:54:58+00:00

me and my wife and her and her boyfriend

Reading this kind of shit will never make sense to me lol

Could NEVER be me

Elegant-Wolf-12 · 2026-04-22T19:03:29+00:00

"Hey, I liked your vibe but I'm getting irritated with the scheduling. Give me a call when you're feeling clear." Then just leave it at that

Jack26918 · 2026-04-22T20:17:56+00:00

"Hi. Time is a precious commodity I cannot reclaim. I appreciate yours is valuable, too, so better, prompter communication is to our mutual benefit. Thus, I'd appreciate if you didn't leave me in the dark, blocking out my schedule while waiting for your responses. Thank you."

Title	How to politely ask a flakey girl to respect my time?
Author	snackf1st
Upvotes	21
Comments	73
Date	April 22, 2026 6:03 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sst89u/how_to_politely_ask_a_flakey_girl_to_respect_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-politely-ask-a-flakey-girl-to-respect-my.1578614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578614

Comments