Why can't I get angry at her?

Big_Action2476 · 2026-07-31T06:28:28+00:00

I don’t know why you aren’t upset, but just be good to yourself now and in the future. Just know feelings can change and iiiiif you ever do get upset, just know it is reasonable and you are still worth the care and love. You may not need it now, but if you ever do, stay strong man 💪

eastlibertypj · 2026-07-30T21:09:29+00:00

It's not common. You're making excuses so that you don't have to be accountable to yourself for not drawing a line and maintaining a standard for yourself.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-07-30T17:21:39+00:00

Cheating is not common at all. Your relationship was a dumpster fire and she left for another man. The reason you are not angry is you never loved her.

Worldly_Diver9265 · 2026-07-30T15:22:08+00:00

IF YOUR GIRL/WIFE HAS AN AFFAIR, JUST KNOW YOUR WIFE/GF STARTED IT Cut the nonsense.

If you ever discover that your wife is having an affair, don’t waste your time trying to make it work. Your girl gave him the signal. Your girl opened the door. She made herself available.

Understand this clearly: most of the time, it’s the woman who initiates these affairs. She makes it obvious without saying it out loud. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Signs she’s baiting another man? She’ll dress up skimpy when he’s around. She’ll laugh too loud at his weak jokes. She’ll sit with her legs wide open, making herself a walking invitation. She’ll complain about you to him, painting you as the villain so he feels like the hero. She’ll give him eye contact that lasts too long, touch his arm “innocently,” and make him feel chosen. That’s how she makes another man confident enough to make a move on her.

A cheating girl is not confused. She’s not “trapped.” She’s calculated. She’ll lie to you at home, then give her body to another man with no hesitation. And once she’s done it, she’ll do it again. Because a woman who can betray once has already killed her loyalty.

And you, as a man, need to stop negotiating with betrayal. Don’t beg her. Don’t investigate who made the first move. Don’t fight for a woman who has already chosen another man behind your back.

If she cheats, send her packing. End of story.

Because the truth is simple: if another man is sleeping with your girl, it’s because she invited him in. And the only thing more humiliating than being cheated on… is staying with the woman who did it.

FINAL WORD: A man who tolerates betrayal is no man at all. Don’t waste your strength chasing shadows. Don’t waste your fists on men who only answered her call. Put all accountability where it belongs — on her. Then, walk away with your pride intact.

Stay disciplined. Never accept betrayal. EVER!

Get rid of her NOW. The hurt will go away, trust me. Take this time to reinvent yoyrself. You need to start healing. Join a gym, start a new hobby, play pickle ball, most of all...HEAL.

You need to get over this because your true love is out there waiting to meet you. That will never happen when you are sad, lonely, and depressed. The longer you take to heal, the longer you will keep her waiting! Dont do that to her.

carnivalbilly · 2026-07-30T13:07:32+00:00

I mean there’s no rule book that says you have to be angry. It’s still unacceptable, really. I’m not really angry at my exwife for that because she did things that were far worse tbh. The cheating was small potatoes compared to some of it…being angry doesn’t really change things and may actually help you in the long run. Allow yourself to feel all things in their due time. It’s not a race. It’s about the destination you have in mind and how you get there is important.

IHaveABigDuvet · 2026-07-30T12:14:50+00:00

Were you already fatigued in the relationship?

Is it because you don’t care or because your mind hasn’t quite computed what she has done?

How long ago did this happen?

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-07-30T12:08:45+00:00

You're in denial at the moment. Give it time. The anger will come like a tidal wave. Let it wash over you and then the healing starts.

Bengal-_fan · 2026-07-30T11:45:29+00:00

It’s a very unhealthy response to someone that just shit on you? Maybe an unhealthy sense of dependence as well?

Awkward_Living_2070 · 2026-07-30T10:05:17+00:00

It's called Hysterical Bonding, look it up.

bizbunch · 2026-07-30T04:46:54+00:00

You're still probably in shock and have lingering love for her. Once you really understand who she is and how she could do that to you, I imagine you will feel very angry.

Badwater134 · 2026-07-30T04:16:45+00:00

I deal with this too. I was lied to, stolen from, cheated on, disrespected, hacked into, tracked, etc. Three months after the divorce she filed was final, she took her own life and three years later, I still find myself struggling to move on. There is so much to be angry about, yet I can't seem to counter the idealizing and good memories with justifiable anger at how I was treated and what I put up with.

As said below, coming to terms with the realization that she is not who she pretended to be is vital. Do not excuse any of her behavior away or contort yourself into taking responsibility.

I gave her what she asked for and she promptly proceeded to completely destroy her life within a year. It doesn't even seem real.

Any-Neat5158 · 2026-07-30T03:56:54+00:00

I might not agree that its common.. but moreso it for sure as shit is not any more ok based upon how much others are doing it.

LearnGrowExist · 2026-07-30T03:37:49+00:00

It’s okay. I’ll be furious for you until you get there. I fucking hate cheaters, and I especially hate cheating exes who keep us in contact by making co-parenting a reality for those of us who never wanted to end up here.

warwww · 2026-07-30T03:35:53+00:00

Radical acceptance. Maybe it’s something you should read up on. It helped me a ton in terms of processing the seemingly selfish and just disgusting actions of others, including my ex.

The sooner you can accept and understand that she is not who she claimed to be, the more it will make sense.

Face the betrayal head on, just don’t get consumed by it.

Set her free, if it is other men she wants - let her be free to pursue all the men she wants and can handle.

Would a person that truly loved you do such things to you?

Imagine being held at gunpoint by a thief. Would you believe them if they said they were looking out for your financial health?

I was more angry at her attempting to sever the bond between myself and our kids than her leaving. If it were just her I would have paid for a limousine to whisk her away. .

I was treated so horribly by her in the last several months that it was a relief she had left.

Ark161 · 2026-07-30T03:04:51+00:00

I'll be another voice of reason and say it is shock. It usually takes a little bit for it to settle in, start festering, and then eventually start breaking you down. Or who knows, maybe you are just built different and default to "It eeeeez what it eeeeeeez". You dont HAVE to be angry about it. Hurt? Sure. dejected to the point of apathy? Absolutely. But anger is usually a double edged sword that can end up hurting you more in the process.

Just take inventory of what is/isnt, take her off the pedestal, judge whaat occurs based on all parties involved and dont ever assume it is something that you solely could have changed the outcome on.

DizzyCommercial7705 · 2026-07-30T02:59:07+00:00

I still haven't gotten angry after my husband left, and I'm not sure I will either. Maybe I'm still in shock? I actually think that I'm incredulous. While I have come to terms with it and am moving on, I still just don't understand it.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-07-30T02:36:35+00:00

You're in shock. The anger will come in due course.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-07-30T02:36:16+00:00

You're in shock. The anger will come in due course.

Title	Why can't I get angry at her?
Author	Select_Barber139
Upvotes	8
Comments	32
Date	July 30, 2026 2:10 AM UTC (1 week ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1vageub/why_cant_i_get_angry_at_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-cant-i-get-angry-at-her.1628520 https://theredarchive.com/post/1628520

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