Whats the psychology behind "mean girls" aka popular girls particular in high school being total narcissistic sadists?

Master_Manufacturer7 · 2020-08-25T21:30:28+00:00

If violence is used, generally, men use physical violence and women use social violence. Popular people just have the means and opportunity to do so.

TheKarmicWoosh2 · 2020-08-25T20:55:34+00:00

Status seeking. Same way how the biggest bullies also tend to have a large friend group.

Its not a female thing. It manifests slightly differently between the sexes. Males who are bullies are more likely to have more friends, higher self esteem, more sex partners, and be more popular.

We are at the end of the day slightly more advanced apes. We can pretend we aren't, but it becomes more obvious when your frontal lobe is impaired.

Lacuna-Foil · 2020-08-25T21:25:16+00:00

I imagine it's not all too different from asshole boys shoving nerds into lockers or pushing people down the stairs. Some people are shitheads, and then they get gripped tight by a hurricane of hormones and they go full douchebag, and they're enabled by their 'friends'.

Girls tends to be a lot cattier and more verbal, no doubt, but I recall some seriously fucked up shit being done by both sexes in high school. Worst one I heard about (my brother saw it happen) was a bunch of steaming piles of goat shit putting dirt in the sandwich of a badly disabled kid and making him eat it.

GennyX · 2020-08-25T23:06:30+00:00

In my school, no one actually liked them. They, and the male equivalent of them, all thought they were popular. The reality was, everyone else stayed out of their way because no one wanted to deal with their shit. They made everyone else’s life hell, and this was what made them unpopular.

The truly popular people were the high achievers at our school. Everyone respected them and they were genuinely kind to everyone else.

SherbertBacon · 2020-08-26T00:45:33+00:00

It's stunted personality and social proofing. I read somewhere that people who peak in high school really do "peak." That is, the things that make you popular in high school are often deeper personality traits, which often hold someone back later in life.

relish5k · 2020-08-25T23:28:08+00:00

If you want to be in the "in-group" you must police very stringently who is in the "out-group."

Just watch the Lindsey Lohan doumentary Mean Girls if you really want to learn about the topic.

Mimoxs · 2020-08-25T20:59:37+00:00

I think it's a trope more than anything? Idk I knew some very mean popular girls and some very nice ones. The absolute richest girl in the entire school comprised of rich kids, was like the sweetest person alive.

However, they can have inflated egos. I think part of it is competitiveness - when you have high status, you feel threatened by those beneath you who may gain status, and feel the need to constantly reassert your own power. They will often target people who they perceive as different bc those people get attention or recognition so they have indirect fears.

Example, they often hate the school slut. The actual school slut is rarely a popular girl - the popular girls sleep around but there is always that one girl who is like to the extreme. She usually doesn't actually have female friends bc she only associates with men. That girl in our school was prime bully target from popular girls. Why? I think they feared their bfs would sleep with her.

extrachromozomes · 2020-08-25T21:07:43+00:00

Teens are just mean sometimes. For me in highschool all the pretty popular girls were very nice so I think this is more something that is pushed by media, if anything it was the teenage boys who acted like this

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thetruthishere_ · 2020-08-26T03:28:36+00:00

I called those b@tches out. LOL Just like the ones that mocked our handicapped students.

Really back in my day, they were more rare and many of us called them out. We rallied to defend the 'weak'.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-08-26T03:41:38+00:00

Insecurity. Most of their behaviors revolve around that.

ontherailstoday · 2020-08-26T04:24:54+00:00

Well... the cool kids are a pretty competitive bunch by nature. I mean a lot of them are brought up that way by parents who work in jobs that are that way... human resources, politics, various types of management and self employment.That's how they get to be cool kids... they work real hard at it and have parental backing in doing so.

So clawing your way to the top of a group of cool kids is going to be hella hard and probably involve doing a few things that are... well not necessarily bad but definitely a little bit of the less good? Shadowy stuff. And well what's the reward... you're already a cool kid now you are queen bee of the school. And that entitles you to what precisely other than the need for continual defense of your status? Not money, not admission to a better university, nothing much that the other cool kids don't get.

It maybe just isn't particularly tempting to gather so much social power in the context of a high school, compared to the effort, unless you're going to enjoy abusing that power some way.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-08-26T06:21:32+00:00

In my experience the stereotypical american high school girl trope actually happens in elementary school and with girls that age (pre-early puberty). I think partially it is an attempt to establish a sense of security through group

Gravitating to a group dynamic and establishing clear rules that your group/you have to follow because of the sudden increased sense of personal embarrassment and doubt that didnt exist at a younger age. You're no longer a carefree child, you want to be a pretty and confident girl like the ones you see in pop culture and you need a way to get there. First step is getting embarrased by everything that reminds of the fact that you still are a child in many ways (e.g. your parents, fashion you liked etc)..this is why teenage girls are constantly feeling embarrassed either about themselves or others, and knowing what is ok and what is not enabled them to feel confidence in arbitrary situations where otherwise they wouldn't be sure whether to feel embarrased or not

Second is getting a new identity based on pretty shallow ideas you have of people who are cool (from pop culture) and lack of real understanding of what a lot of things mean - the group hierarchy again serves to define what is cool in the first place so you know what to copy and imitate. Third is being liked by boys for status but without embarrassing yourself in the process. The group keeps a girl in a constant state of paranoia that removes her ability to fall in love at that age and potentially embarrasses herself.

Since most girls are clueless and.lost here they turn to group dynamic lead by seemingly more confident (rough) girls or simply attractive/more developed girls, with also constant tention, competition and comparisons between different groups and each other. This also causes a swarm of beta females who are hungry to rise on top and are ready to sharpen their teeth by attaching those below them.in the food chain until they're ready to "kill the queen"

Most leave this phase traumatized and angry and by the time we're in high school we are glad for the complete change of scenery, and are more interested in throwing away the stupid group rules, pretense and embarrassment and instead spend the next few years obsessing about ourselves as individuals

majani · 2020-08-26T06:51:03+00:00

For the 10th time today: people put up with more of attractive people's BS because they are attractive. 95% of people would let a few snide remarks from Scarlett Johansson slide

Reisiluu · 2020-08-26T09:35:42+00:00

It's children acting like children. Most people grow out of it, boys included. Sexual harassment was at its worst as a teenager, as boys would invade girls locker rooms, grope, show their genitals, mock the use of sanitary products, openly comment on girls breasts and other body parts, spread nudes, call any girl a whore and so on. Get over it.

rosmaskinen · 2020-08-26T11:10:45+00:00

I don't know how realistic those catty girls actually are, though. Granted, I don't live in the states, but it sounds more like a television/movie thing than it does socially.

I went to a very competitive and preppy Swedish secondary school though, and the popular people there tended to be extremely kind and likely to befriend any type of person. The less popular ones were the bitter and pretentious misanthropes.

That being said, women intimidate people in a different way than men do. Mind you, mentally stable women use those tactics as well.

00Starved00 · 2020-08-26T12:17:23+00:00

Insecurity, maybe? my mother was a cheerleader and always the prettiest girl for her entire life and she is, was and will always be the meanest human being to ever walk the earth. She was so disappointed that I was sickly and couldn’t live up to how attractive she is/was.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-08-26T19:18:32+00:00

I was popular at my all girl hs & definitely wasn't a stereotypical mean girl

The meanest girls were the ones who felt excluded & did coke, weed and acid tabs in bathrooms

Holding & flushing new girls heads in toilet bowls, getting wasted & never going to class

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-08-26T22:28:21+00:00

“Mean girls” are at the top of the social hierarchy. They don’t spend time empathizing with those lower than themselves.

CJs_goldfish · 2020-08-27T12:37:29+00:00

I don’t pretend to have a background in psych, but I was a pretty ruthless teenage girl once. IME it’s a bit of a mix of hormones, insecurity, and underdeveloped empathy. It passes after a few years, unless you peak in high school.

ForceGlittering · 2020-08-28T12:13:23+00:00

Their parents spoil them but also leave them to suffer and Dont teach them good boundaries. Their parents are obsessed with never being 'the bad guy' therefore the narcissist views the 'bad guy' role in a positive light

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