37 years old, 5'9", 180 lbs. Taking Jiu Jitsu now andlovingit. I own my own house in a nice suburban area. My job is somewhat satisfying and I have a lot freedom throughout the day to get whatever I need done. The pay is mediocre but I manage to support a family of 4 and I have a shit ton saved compared to others my age.

Working out 5 times per week and I'm at about a dread level 7. I seem to be gaining muscle and toning at the same rate because I fluctuate between 180 and 185 but I look more and more muscular as each week passes. There's a solid HB8 that works for one of the vendors I occasionally see that I've been working on. She's 10 years my junior, really hot, blonde, and has a tight body. The first few times I encountered her it was pretty much all business. When we'd walk through the shop I noticed that all of the mechanics that work with her at this location (she's a service writer) would refer to her as "beautiful" or "your highness". During our third meeting I started treating her like a bratty little girl and it's worked wonders. She loves it when I come in and we flirt via email. She has pictures of her and her boyfriend up all over her office, which gave me some blue-pill hesitation at first, but I'm over that now. I plan on flirtatiously suggesting that we get together for a drink after work sometime and see if I can get this to progress. At this point, she's the only one that's been receptive to my flirting that I would consider fucking. I'm trying to flirt with all women though as a way of working on my game. It's not easy to be fun and flirty all time when you haven't been doing it your entire life.

I'm trying to lead a better life and have my wife follow but I may have been blue-pill for too long that it's just not going to happen. I see little gains when I pass a shit test or somehow communicate to her that I don't give a fuck, but for the most part these are short-lived gains and she quickly resorts back to her slob-style of household management and her disrespectful attitude. There are periods where I just pickup the slack and do her stay-at-home mom chores, i.e. dishes, cleaning, straightening up, but that just leads to her relaying on me for those things and spending more time on her phone or other activities that do nothing to keep up the household.

My wife has high anxiety and blames me for all of her problems and the only time she acts grateful is when my beta seeps out a little and I get mad over something or I indicate that our marriage is on thin ice. For example, she sells shit at famer's markets on Saturdays and I stay home and watch the kids. This past Saturday she went to a market about an hour away that has been historically subpar in terms of making money. While she's there she texts me and says that the farmer's markets tend to die out later in the summer and the best way to make money is to go to "festivals". I had not idea there were festivals for this shit. She says that there's a festival in the middle of my state next month and we could rent a pop-up camper and take the kids along as a little vacation. I say okay because I've been wanting to take the kids camping anyway. I call her on her way home from the market and tell her that we'll just jump in the car with her and go out to dinner somewhere. We're at dinner and I ask about the market. She says it was boring. I change the subject and a few minutes later a little truth escapes and she starts to tell me about the guy that set-up the stand next to her and how funny he was. She sells wool dryer balls and he sells oils and perfumes. Every time someone would buy dryer balls from her he would say "Now how about some oil for your balls?" She loved it. Some customer asks my wife if her laundry soap works well and she replies with "Well, I have a husband and 2 kids and they all smell fine", and this guy chimes in with "...and a boyfriend". I ask my wife if he was hitting on her all day and she said "No, he's not good looking and I thought he was gay". So I didn't show any jealousy and we had a nice dinner. She is sitting at the couch later in the evening and I sit next to her. I give her a long kiss and I say daddy missed her today, then I flip through some stations to find something to watch. She gets up and sits at the kitchen table and starts to fill something out. I later see that it was the application for this festival. The price to have a stand at this festival is easily 3 times the amount she's paid anywhere else she's gone. She fills out the paperwork, leaves it on the table, and then goes upstairs to read before bed. I start to think about how her new boyfriend probably turned her on to the festival thing and how he's probably going to be there, and I get a little excited thinking about how I may get an opportunity to display some dominance over this guy at some point. Then I start to think about the logistics with 2 little kids in a pop-up for 2 days in a festival atmosphere with nothing to occupy them. Then I think about the fact that she is a night-time party person and I could easily get trapped in the pop-up at 9pm with the kids while she goes out and finds Mr. Oily balls.

The next morning I tell her that I'm not going to take the kids to this festival because it will be extremely boring for us and I don't want to babysit for 2 days in a small camper. She says "well,I'm still going to go". I tell that's fine but not with the car because we're going to want to go places when she's gone (we only have 1 car and my work truck). She is pissed and says "fine I'll hitch-hike then". At this point, I know for sure it's allure of Chad Thundercock that's making her want to attend this festival. I was hoping that she would bail since we weren't going and she has no transportation but her mother is going to end up giving her a car for the weekend. Now I'm stuck not going to this thing while I babysit 2 little kids and take care of the house, and imagine her fucking Chad in a camper at a festival. All of yesterday I wanted to divorce this woman because I think that my hole is too deep to dig out of. Today I'm back working my MAP but still wondering if it's just too late or if I can eventually right this ship. My question for the community is has anyone out there had little to no progress for a year or more but still got it to turn around in the end?

My wife responds when she feels I'm going to leave her but other than that and she's just trying to trap me into a once-per month maintenance sex for the provider type role.