What is going on around here?

PurpleVeteran · 2016-03-25T16:09:08+00:00

Stoicism is not new to me.

She had an emotional break down when i talked to her about her household duties slacking. Just like a recent emotional break down when I told her sex sucked with her. She still believes that there are certain things that define a woman: clean house, good sex life, happy husband, but the really fucked part is that she does NONE of these things. None. I doubt she knows where the kitchen sink is.

Not sure how "stoic" this is. You make it sound like a tough love speech, it sounds more like victim bashing -- and you clearly know how to hit where it hurts.

It doesn’t effect me any more.

No? Maybe it was cathartic to list all of her shortcomings and leave her a crying mess, and leave yourself feeling superior?

Stoicism isn't about indifference to the suffering of others (let alone emotional bullying), but about being the best man you can in the face of adversity and human weakness. Be a leader: show her by example, set expectations, make a plan, give feedback, and pitch in to get shit done. Sometimes that means treating your wife like a faltering team mate and not a pet that soiled the carpet.

HerrBrain · 2016-03-25T19:42:39+00:00

I get what the OP is saying, but I don't agree.

I had to sit through a Mental Health Readiness bullshit seminar yesterday, 90% of it was the company covering its ass in case one of us goes postal. But the one thing I did take from it was that we all need someone to vent with and somewhere to vent. For at lot of us this is the place and you guys are the people/support group.

Sometimes the support group empathizes, other times it kicks your ass and puts you back on the path.

As for the "don’t need to hear veterans whining", sometimes you're the Louisville Slugger, sometimes you're the ball.

This place is where the veterans can come and vent too.

Even if your the 10 year Chip guy at the meeting, sometimes you'll need the support of the group too.

Scurvemuch · 2016-03-25T16:27:38+00:00

I think this is where many of us come to cry in our beers, because here, there is a common language that we may not share with the outside world.

that's ok though.

Don't let the anger you see in others affect you: Cad, BPP, Jack10, Stone, and all those in between have shared enough of their loss of frame, anger, pain, wisdom, outlook, etc for you and all the rest to realize these are just guys sitting around a campfire.

Sometimes we will have the "fuck em" moments, and other times we will put a newb in his place.

There is a purpose and a time for both .

irateMD · 2016-03-25T15:42:24+00:00

TL;DR
You don't like to hear bragging or whining. OK. Pick apart the whining, downvote the bragging, and make your own posts about the "light at the end of the tunnel" instead of whining about it.

You're not going to see many posts about the light at the end of the tunnel because positive interactions become commonplace when you man up. Most guys come here with fucked up relationship skills. When they get their shit sorted, if they have decent wives, then their wives behaving like adults isn't noteworthy anymore.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-03-25T16:42:54+00:00

I don't care if they do, so long as they get to the gym and improve, a little self reflection isnt bad.

You seem to forget the other half is the ones kicking them back on track.

Iron sharpens iron, everyone gets a bad day every now and again, just own your shit and move on.

Kind of like this one's, except for the "I suffer in silence, why don't you?" at the end

il-est-ressuscite · 2016-03-25T16:45:05+00:00

"Collectively the women decided not to have sex!" /u/scurvemuch! It's the Lysistrata all over again. What'd I tell ya huh? Huh? Lol.

bogeyd6 · 2016-03-25T18:21:59+00:00

This subreddit has its ups and down. I've been here about a year and there is definitely an ebb and flow. You got several types of people you meet on here from all walks of life. What you describe is all in the game. New people and people who just don't quite get it make a post. Then people can make comments on the post kicking their ass until they start figuring it out.

You have been contributing here a grand total of ~21 days. As /u/iratemd has so eloquently put. Tired of whining? Don't make a post where you are whining.

alphabeta49 · 2016-03-25T16:28:03+00:00

I didn’t get sex last night. No. It wasn’t alright because I haven’t been laid in a week. But I went on to something else that made me better. Ran 4 miles. lifted…a damn good set that was too. I made myself better in that regard. This morning my ass was up at the gym AGAIN at 5am. Lifted more. I don’t know if she knows there’s a problem or not but I don’t care. She likely doesn't know I am unhappy, no disappointed is a better term, but it's not getting to me because I continue on with my life. I have a busy weekend with buddies of mine and I am putting my energy there. I also have a novel to complete…..argh. Plus a few projects i have to get ready when this goddamn snow goes away. I also have today off (office has no power) but I am not spending it at home because I am not going to be around someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Oh she wants me to sit on the couch all day watching TV before her clinical tonight, but again I have things I need to get done for my weekend of fun and work. I am taking her out for early dinner. I want to do something romantic-sh with her, though I know it may be lost on her. But I am doing it for me not her.

I'm impressed by your stoicism. We should all be there.

The fact of life is, however, that our emotions are one of the hardest things to control, especially if we've not put in any real practice. So even the vets fall prey to their emotions, and like it or not, MRP is a circlejerk sometimes, so you're gonna deal with waves of anger posts, waves of fitness posts, waves of kids posts, waves of career posts, etc. Don't like it? Deal, contribute, or log off. Your post here is contributing to the complainy/humblebrag mood, just now in a meta way.

It still ultimately smacks that you are afraid of divorce.

I don't think many vets are afraid of divorce. The newbs, sure. But weighing pros and cons and ultimately deciding against divorce doesn't necessarily imply fear. Sure, I'm angry that my choices are a rock or a hard place, but I don't fear either one.

And again, we're not perfect here. RP isn't old enough for there to be any vets who can look down from the mountain peaks of RP nirvana and guide the poor lost souls trying to find the path up from the valley. Even u/archwinger, who is arguably one of the best contributors on the main sub, talks regularly about his anger and struggles coming to peace with marriage. And I think that's awesome. I'd rather have leaders who show their humanity.

Stoicism doesn't preach emotionlessness. It preaches experiencing and controlling those emotions. And in conjunction with RP, I think an occasional outburst of anger is part of the experience.

Btw, this:

I am almost ready to give her round two of a speech akin to “fuck me or fuck you”. I gave her one almost a year ago and got almost 7 months of pity sex

Tells me you're not yet attractive enough in her eyes for this to work. I would refrain from giving another FMOFU speech until that changes.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-03-25T16:47:07+00:00

One thing to remember is MRP is only about 1 year old. We don't have any true "Veterans" who can guide neophytes through every stage of unplugging while married. In fact, we are ALL learning and discovering new stages as we proceed. There are only 3 (well now 4) books written about using Red Pill praexology in marriage and frankly, nobody has EVER tried marital improvement using Dread Game or even a mostly male blog to analyze these issues.

stop wallowing in your shit and bag it up, put in the garbage. Don’t open it and smell it.

Some men need to take a big whiff in order to maintain that stoic mindset and keep their wives off the pussy pedestal.

The fact is, men have been given a Shit Sandwich and told that it is Honey so eat up. Just today I read "Men's Health" magazine about how men ages 45-55 are dying at a HIGHER RATE than any other group in America. Further, they are the ONLY group in America whose death rate is increasing.

Why? Funny you should ask. The article blames Depression, Drug Addiction, Drug Abuse, Poverty, and unemployment. You know what they did NOT mention? THE CAUSE OF ALL OF THESE FACTORS. That cause is the misandric divorce laws in the West. The man doesn't just lose his job, he loses his wife, his family, his children. He loses his house. His purpose and eventually his life. All of the factors they listed are TOTAL BULLSHIT. They are ALL EFFECT OF DIVORCE LAWS NOT what is driving the divorces- which is "I'm not haaaappppppppy!"

RedDreadWolverine · 2016-03-25T15:24:35+00:00

Good post.

PemBayliss · 2016-03-25T17:22:57+00:00

Men are human beings. Men have wants, needs and desires just like other humans. Men get frustrated, sad, angry and pissed off when they do all the things they were instructed and trained to do from birth, then discover that said instruction was shit and they are now locked into an untenable situation that cannot be ameliorated without absolutely scorching and burning down everything around them, including the lives of their children.

Film at 11.

In other news.....

whinemoreplease · 2016-03-25T20:35:31+00:00

jesus.

what a bunch of drivel.

"other men are mean" boo hoo hoo.

watch me not care. you want a whole subreddit to cater to your whims? is your solipsism worse than a woman's?

take what's useful and ditch the rest. and when the rest becomes useless, find a better source.

MgFeSi · 2016-03-25T15:31:15+00:00

I've been around here long enough to see the post/response quality comes in waves. For the most part, this sub is a like a jukebox. There's really good songs that get played over and over, but there's not much new material.

So wade through the shit. Find the nugget that improves you today. Leave the rest. So much of what I "learned" two years ago is really only finally sinking in now. If I hadn't been getting my reps in, I wouldn't be getting stronger.

On a separate note, I think the new guy here is most important. Reading those newly pilled makes me reflect on my progress so far, and my distance to go. Shitting on newbs is lame. I can learn a lot from the new guy, maybe even more than I can from these vets with pointless badges beside their name.

alorian · 2016-03-25T17:32:01+00:00

Good reminder, thanks. We're guys, sometimes it helps to bitch to each other. When it goes on longer than it should it's always nice to be told you're acting like a pussy.

theultmatecad · 2016-03-25T18:49:41+00:00

Concern troll

Create the content you want to see. Be the change you want not the faggot complaining.

TheRedStoic · 2016-03-25T21:42:11+00:00

You fucked up. And your bitching shows it. Don't go high gear dread instantly. It anyways ends badly.

Don't worry about shit posting. That's not your problem. Follow the people who you appreciate and leave it at that.

You have the theory, now practice the application.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6YJEPGSOZ8ldlRFTlFkdE56R2M

I've been stoic since before I knew what it is. Now I'm an accredited analytic philosopher and still practicing. I won't stop.

The theory (pure) is archaic. We (you) need the implementation.

MRPguy · 2016-03-26T05:38:19+00:00

I'm having a great week. You have to become a nimble navigator.

Sepean · 2016-03-26T07:51:01+00:00

I waxed my wife last night.

In other news, a lot of guys are still bitter and butthurt about many things. Sometimes it spills over and they get all riled up. It's pointless arguing with them, so just move on.

throwawaypille · 2016-04-01T00:36:23+00:00

One piece of advice OP ... Don't give her the rant about no sex. In my BP days I did that, it doesn't work. Just calmly tell her it would be nice to have sex, but that's fine if she's not into it, you will get it somewhere else. And be prepared mentally to do it. You say you agree with monogamy, as do I, but what you have is celibacy. And up the dread, nothing works better than her seeing other women giving you the eye and complimenting you.

Is there another guy involved? Don't write this off ESPECIALLY if she says she has no interest in sex etc. That was the case with my wife - she fantasised about another guy for 2 years - kept a meticulous diary of it, nothing happened because he was a decent guy - as beta as they come - but there you have it. I had no idea.

Never forget, your wife doesn't define you and is not responsible for your happiness, you are. Also, where are you doing some fun stuff for yourself? It's not all about lifting and anger.

CptButtertits · 2016-03-25T19:09:37+00:00

Spring has sprung. The birds are singing the young nubile girls are out in their barely there clothes letting the sun kiss their supple skin. And here we are full of semen wanting to spread it far and wide and some of us are being held back by a commitment we made years ago that now we regret because she doesn't want us to get it.

I get it from the guys but maybe take your lady out for a walk. Parade her to see. Maybe start pinching her ass put up with the shit test and just enjoy the season. Change starts from within

Title	What is going on around here?
Author	Ordinary_Gentelman
Upvotes	12
Comments	59
Date	March 25, 2016 3:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4bwt0w/what_is_going_on_around_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/what-is-going-on-around-here.200174 https://theredarchive.com/post/200174

Comments