Do you read in secret?

myrpaccount · 2015-03-10T17:32:40+00:00

This is preventing me from buying and sidebar material. Do you guys only read these books in secret somewhere?

This hurts to read. Go ahead and order the books and read them right in front of her. The first mate does not approve the captain's reading material. If she wants to read them as well, she is free to do so, but that will not affect your frame.

If she asks what it is all about you can tell her with conviction that is it about becoming a better man and husband.

geezertrp · 2015-03-10T14:22:55+00:00

No, but then I've always read a fair amount.

First. Read more. It's worth doing.

There's a wealth of material at /r/redpillbooks that's not a "relationship", "game", or "trp" book. Read about improving your business/trade. Read classic lit. Read bios of great men. Read science books.

When she gets used to you reading more, she'll pay less attention.

Second, get a Kindle, iPad, laptop, etc. and buy as much TRP stuff as you can as e-books. Much less conspicuous. Every sidebar book I could get as an e-book or PDF is on my Kindle and Galaxy Tab. She has no idea I was reading about TRP.

pcadrian · 2015-03-10T14:29:05+00:00

No, but I pushed my girl onto RPW so she is aware of the red pill. She's sleeping next to me right now as I type this. I did used to hide it from her before.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-10T14:39:25+00:00

What is the problem reading her parts of the books? I read chunks of the new "Preventative Medicine" to my wife last night, highlighting different women in our lives as I went.

The books on the sidebar are written for a variety of audiences. At least one is written from a feminine perspective (MAP) and another was actually secretly written for a female audience (MMSL) while others were openly written for both a male and female audiences (NMMNG, WISNIFG, Way of the Superior Man, and Dale Carnegies HTWFAIP ).

I agree The Rational Male is not the best book for her to read but I would not sweat it in the least. Just keep Sex God Method to yourself and you are fine.

TLDR: These books are awesome an nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

alphabeta49 · 2015-03-10T17:10:26+00:00

Just going to second what others are saying here.

My wife was leery of me reading these "self improvement" books, as I called them. She especially freaked out when I told her the title to NMMNG, thinking I was going to become this insensitive asshole. Funny thing is, after reading it, I'm going to share parts of it with her because I think it will help her become less codependent as well regarding her parents.

Most of the books aren't directly connected to TRP, so if she asks I just say that I found them by searching for self improvement books for men and followed amazon's "customers who bought this also bought" suggestions (which is true, many sidebar books are closely related in amazon searches).

I also threw in more benign books like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Aurelius' Meditations, so I wasn't just reading scary relationship books.

TL;DR: You got this man. Take a deep breath, pick up your balls, and open that book in front of her.

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-03-10T20:38:34+00:00

Most, if not all of these books are on line. Rollo Tomassi's books are essentially compilations of his posts which are available for free at therationalmale.com. I recommend to every man to read every post (and every comment, too, if possible - the quality of the comments is unparallelled)

You could download them to your phone and read them there, if that seems to be worrying you.

disposableprofessor · 2015-03-10T14:51:44+00:00

There's generally very little to be gained by letting women know you've taken the pill. I'm not fanatical about it, but I make an effort not to leave RP-related reading material where it can be found. If you're looking for a place to read where she won't be breathing down your neck, maybe bring a book to the pub and read while you have a pint.

throwawayMNnice · 2015-03-10T15:08:10+00:00

Thanks for the quick replys. Several people are suggesting that I be open about it. Unfortunately this isn't and option YET. I grew up extremey BP and am only a begginer to RP. It seems I regularly made every classic mistake that I read from various FRs on this sub. What changes I have made have gone well and I am confident that I can make my marriage as awesome as I had imagined it would be, BUT my wife too has a long way to go. She is somewhat of a feminist, which BP me was all about, but I think if she discovers these books it might backfire and make her go femmi-nazi, and recognize my behavioural changes and openly resist. I am just not ready for that yet. I need to read up, and do this right. Thanks again.

dandar4600 · 2015-03-10T19:16:37+00:00

You can read them on your phone. There is a kindle app for the books you buy. The book of pook and rational male can be read in web browser.

Start with no more mr nice guy though. Once you do that you will no longer fear her discovering your self improvement goals and ways to achieve them.

marinerhyme · 2015-03-10T22:34:05+00:00

No, never. When my wife asked what I was reading (it happened to be NMMNG) I told her a book to better myself and we talked a little about what it was about and she left it at that. When she noticed MMSLP in our kindle library she mentioned that it sure seemed like I was taking this thing really seriously and I told her that I plan to be working on myself till the day I die. This was about two weeks before zero hour and a bunch of shit tests in between. I did fine with them although I was and still can be pretty nervous about them at times. An interesting thing happened about two weeks after zero hour though. A new book popped up in my library; The Goodwifes Guide: Embracing your role as a helpmeet. This was followed by coming home to a clean house on a regular basis and a cup of coffee (I don't drink alcohol) waiting for me after work. So, don't analyze this shit too much and just go with it and let it bring what it's going to bring has been my experience. I am in no way an Alpha by nature (total suckup NG) but apart from some ST's and CT's I wouldn't sweat it. Embrace this, you can handle it.

rediscover03 · 2015-03-10T17:47:36+00:00

IMO a biiiig piece of how you treat this situation is indeed HOW you act when you read around her and how you respond when she asks you. If you are deeply or openly cautious about it and afraid of her reaction, and that she may disapprove - then you already lost and it's likely because you're in a beta state of mind. Indeed, an assertive "I am reading a self improvement book" goes a lot farther (that was in my case how I answered it when she asked me) than "well, check this out, this amazing new literature on how men should be stronger, tougher, and check out how I will be better with you honey, hehehehe". That was my case: a simple, correct answer, yet lacking specifics , mainly because in the past (even now) I constantly find myself that I tend to seek her approval for what I say or do. That's a lot of my transition and fighting that urge, to be the puppy dog, and see her as the approver of what I do/say/how I act. So in a way, i was trying to protect my newfound treasure of knowledge and digest it on my own until I adopted it and translated it into new actions and behaviors - but to be clear, without really hiding anything or reading in secret. My multi-year betadom and learned beta instincts will not go away quickly, that I know.

TheGreasyPole · 2015-03-10T20:30:13+00:00

My advice is simple.

In your relationship who really believes they have the higher SR ?

If it's your wife, or your wife believes it's her, then i wouldn't recommend sharing specifically RP knowledge. Get way ahead of her FIRST. Gym, all the rest of it. (Obligatory) SIDEBAR dumbass.

If YOU have the clear SR edge, and she knows it, then you should feel free to make a choice. This choice may well depend on just how much of your SR is coming from activities vulnerable to "seeing the wizard behind the curtain".

The less it's the "tips n tricks" sections of the books.... And the more it's your natural game... The better off you'd be. Get that natural game going fellas. Work out stuff from first principles and do that, your own schtick. Then fear no more the exposure of the "ten second kiss" or "sharp kino".

Bonus thing to think about. Would RP knowledge in your wife break your frame ? If it would, you need better frame.

balmylips · 2015-03-10T23:31:16+00:00

I used to hide it from the wife but eventually realized it's impossible so I just tell her that these are books for my self-improvement and she accepts that. She hasn't bothered to read them herself. She has no idea where I get them from and doesn't bother asking. After all, what wife is opposed to improving her husband?

infiity · 2015-03-11T02:09:50+00:00

Get a Kindle.

Best tech device I've bought in 10+ years and I have way too many tech devices. Then you buy a couple fiction or whatever books that you have an interest in and show her those if she wants to see what you're reading. Once she's satisfied her curiosity, you go back to reading whatever RP material you see fit without lifting the veil on your research to be a better man.

I'm not one who thinks that the wife needs to know any of this stuff to appreciate the benefits of RP learning and tactics. It's not worth the hassle of explaining all the nuances and strategies and then defending all parts of RP to the hamster inside. The cons of lifting the RP curtain outweigh the benefits in my mind.

trpSysAdmin · 2015-03-11T13:41:06+00:00

Kindle Paperwhite is great for reading at night. I read every night before I go to bed, since before bed is the only time I can read. Well, I say before bed, but it goes something like this: in bed reading, sex, read again, sleep.

Nodeal_reddit · 2015-03-14T05:24:41+00:00

I read the books via kindle on my phone. I'd tell her if she asked , but that hasn't happened.

Title	Do you read in secret?
Author	throwawayMNnice
Upvotes	5
Comments	41
Date	March 10, 2015 2:09 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2yk4na/do_you_read_in_secret/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/do-you-read-in-secret.202381 https://theredarchive.com/post/202381

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