659,329 posts

We’re splitting up.

by InconspicuousWand | October 17, 2018 | askMRP

22 upvotes

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Since I been clean I been trying to clean up the shit storm I created that I woke up to.

The relationship had turned to shit. I had too much of a past. I had been cheating and didn’t see me stopping. I opened up the idea to an open relationship. She didn’t say no but wasn’t what she wanted. So I did the opposite of what I would have in the past. I would have manipulated her. Things wouldn’t have got better and we would be in the same shit storm a month later.

I came home 2 days ago. I sat her down and told her it’s best to split. I couldn’t be faithful. She was going one way with her life. I was going another. She was well established as I was picking up the pieces of a fucked up dude and putting them back to together. I knew she would never leave. So it was up to me to respect her enough to end this to let her and me both, move on. I’m in no place to be a good captain at the moment. Esp with my past and everything she knows about me just makes it all harder. It’s better to start fresh. For myself.

She moves out today. 5 years go poof. But I ain’t really that upset yet. Probably hasn’t really set in. But then she messages me saying she wants to take the dog. My first thought was no fucking way. It’s the only thing I love in this life. But then I had to stop being a selfish prick for once in my life and realize. I work longer hours. I’m home a lot less I travel around more. I now will be paying more in rent (dk how I’m going to swing this) and vet bills will set me back. And honestly she can give the dog a better life. And everything can be gone thats I cherish tomorrow anyway. So I had to make a choice. I let her take it.

So as I sit hear crying like a little bitch writing this over the loss of my dog. I can be happy that I can start fresh and better myself so if I ever get a new girl or dog. This time I will be ready for the job. I don’t really have much else to say, maybe just looking for some advice moving forward from this. But I do want to thank you to all who have been helping me this far


Post Information
Title We’re splitting up.
Author InconspicuousWand
Upvotes 22
Comments 46
Date 17 October 2018 06:29 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203885
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9p1agc/were_splitting_up/
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Comments

[–]FoxShitNasty8323 points24 points  (11 children) | Copy

It took balls and guts to do what you did and I have a lot of respect for you. The slate is clean / reset, you owned your shit today. Keep lifting friend.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"-1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy

Breaking up with a chick takes balls and guts?

Jesus christ what a bunch of panzy-ass pussies.

Losing a dog's a bummer, sure, but goddamn this little thing is just a thing... it's not like landing in the new world, fighting hostile elements, warring with killer injuns, starving, succumbing to consumption, and resorting to cannibalism.

Fucking panzies.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mercy killing. It’s hard but you did the right thing. I’ve been too much of a pussy to do the same. My girl, mother of my children, will never leave. She will never be happy with me and I’ve cheated so many times, and even though she knows she still won’t leave. I need to throw her out and I know she can have a better life with someone that can love her but I keep letting her stay because I “care”.

[–]ahackercalled4chan10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m in no place to be a good captain at the moment.

it is a good thing that you've realized this. especially if you're shedding habits of addiction. i know; i've been there. hell, i still am there with tobacco...

i know everything around you feels like it's crumbling apart. keep making the effort to create something new out of the rubble. keep telling yourself "i will make today better than yesterday. i will make myself better than before."

stay strong brother. you are not alone in your struggles.

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man

[–]BostonBrakeJob6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

Sounds like you made a strong move from a weak position. I'm curious to see how this plays out...

*edit - I was gonna take it easy on you, but fts.

This ain't Facebook. And just because you're acting like a bitch, it doesn't make you a woman. Keep this "wah wah make me feel better about the decisions I make" bullshit outta here. Or at least put shit like this:

I couldn’t take the nagging. I couldn’t put up with her. it was too hard to juggle her and all my other shit going on

in the original post and REALLY own your shit.

To recap, you ended a relationship to "protect her feelings", have no idea how you're gonna swing the rent, gave her the dog because she "can give it a better life", and no fucking plan for the upcoming months. But ya might fuck a plate to keep your mind off her! So pat on the back for that /s

You're gonna find out real fucking quick this shit ain't a game. I give you a week TOPS before you go running back to her crying like a little bitch begging to take you back. Probably gonna blame dumping her in the first place on this sub too, aren't ya?!

This is not "getting your shit together" or "owning your shit"...not even fucking close.

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Appreciate the brutal honesty. But this shit had to be done. I have so much work to do on myself and I just couldn’t fucking it do it given the situation. I tried. I hated it. I need her out of the picture. Now I will work on myself. I was upset about the dog when I wrote this. Was emotional because of it. And prob came off as that but fuck it.

I needed her out of the picture and i knew it a long time ago and was too pussy to do it because of excuses like rent. Or afraid of hurting her. So I threw myself to the sharks.

I’m an addict I lived my whole life by just “figuring it out as I go” so of course that mentality is going to hang around. Till I get a grip and fix my mindset. You got all your shit together probably so you just expect me to and that’s why you’re going off. I know I don’t. Far from it. But to get where I need to be. She had to go. That’s just what the fuck I need so I did it. I will live without her. With out the dog and without your pat on the back. This is my journey I’ll figure it out the way I have to and I’m not crawling back to anyone

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Yep , I yawned when I read it

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

She added a lot of value that will definitely be missed. I will need to take on new responsibilities. Finances. Work.

this thing has the putrid stench of ONEitis

So, instead of doing the work on himself, he is just going to do her this big fucking favor and end it... right?

I repeat for all the faggots who are going to write the same BS post...

If nothing changes, nothing changes

Like someone else said, OP will come crawling back to her within a week or two, but the damage will be done already.

/u/persaeus , side note: it looks like I’m starting TRT next week. I lost 25 lbs in BP. And 30 on squat... went to a hormone doc and my Total T is 189. Free t 2.4. It went way down over a year, I think due to some meds (opiates mainly). Luckily I really only lost some muscle on those 2 areas and sex is still 3+ times a week. We discussed it a couple times , so I thought I’d let you know. Oh, BTW, my T last year was 425. I have a buddy using the same doc, and they have him on a 1500+ level. Any recommendations on which type of testosterone to use ?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I’ve been using Axiron but it’s super expensive. Switching to generic injection next year

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

They put me on testosterone cypionate, 200mg weekly shots. I did one shot in the office, and I did a 2nd shot 3 days later just to get a jump start since my T was so low from meds (189, morning sample) I’m going to wean off the meds.

I’m going to do one shot of T a week going forth. I already noticed a jump in overall energy.and mood. Libido has gone up a little. They said it might take 3-6 Months to fully kick in, but I’m digging it already. I lost a little muscle, which I expect to get back within 3-6 months + more. My recovery time is shorter already in the gym. I used to feel totally drained and ready for a nap after my workouts, but the last couple workouts have left me energized. I’m going to double up on my workouts until our trip to Europe in 2 1/2 weeks.

I was dreading the Europe trip since my energy level has been so low? But now I’m excited about it. I expect the sex to be good in Europe since I’ll have about a month of weekly T injections by then. Also taking: DHEA, DIM-complex, and Vit D,

I thought about you since I know you’ve been on it for a while. Just thought I’d give you an update.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

great news, it will improve your life

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’m like a new man a week and a half in. I lost 30 lbs on squat and 15 on BP over a period of 6 months. I’m working out 6 days a week now since I feel so much better, so I figure I should get the squat and BP numbers back within a few weeks. What’s weird is my biceps/triceps and other body parts didn’t lose much strength.

My libido is coming back, but my junk isn’t working optimally (yet), but I find ways to make it work. Even when my T was below 200, I was still having sex with my wife 3+ times a week. My personal policy is to never say no when she wants it, and her drive is pretty high. So, when she ovulates, she usually wants sex about 8 outbof 10 days.

One thing I’ve noticed already is my confidence flirting with other women is through the roof, and they generally respond much better. I don’t want to cheat on my wife, but I can see how temptations might increase since women seem to be able to sense either the T or the confidence, and it turns them on.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes to all the above . On the dick , try mixing in some Ciallis. I go with about 1/2 a tab every day or two. Funny thing is it doesn’t taste bad so I just bite the pill in half and chew it up

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve used Cialis and viagra over the last 7 years. The one cialis is supposed to last 36 hrs, but I find 24 hrs to be more accurate. I think that’s the 20mg pill. I had a urologist prescribe viagra, 20mg for .50 a pill since she prescribed it for lung disorder. The Cialis are like $10 a pill. I need to find a new urologist though since that was in a different state, moved recently. I hope to not have to use them at all once I’ve been on TRT for a while, but I’ve been doing research, and I know it can be more complex than just injecting some T in my ass once a week... E2 levels and all that stuff. I’ve put on 4-5 lbs of what I think is water weight since I’ve been on it a week and a half. But, IDK because I’ve been hitting the iron hard, and it’s making me super hungry. I think I need to stick with clean eating. I’m going do some 16 hr intermittent fasts for a few days in any case. I’ve been drinking like 8 bottles of water a day, so I’m thinking it’s water weight. Plus, those DIM complex pills, which are supposed to control estrogen have a tone of vitamins, which could be retaining water too

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I read into it as well. Dude even lost his best sparring partner.

[–]Frosteecat6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If all that you say is true, I applaud you.

Knowing your real strengths and weaknesses is one of the core measures of a man. Acting on them is a level higher. My only concern is that you're blowing this up because you are truly frightened of the strangely wholesome life you "could" have (addicts and self medicators are renowned saboteurs of their own happiness because they believe they are unworthy of it.) Or that you know/fear a lifestyle backslide that would put her through hell. Again.

If it's the first...well, better that than to keep screwing this woman over. If it's the second...ditto I suppose.

I'd worry that a fast lane sex life will inevitably lead back dangerously into party life. Keep that MAP under review on the daily...! Maybe in time you'll get the pussy drug out of your system too and the stars will align with your focused & fit ass in the middle, looking for a true FO to your Captain.

The dog is better off. That's also the right thing to do, and makes getting a place much easier too.

Sounds like a good woman. Be kind and honest and have no regrets.

Good luck.

[–]Redpillbrigade172 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

What are you going to keep yourself busy with in the coming weeks? What’s your plan?

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lift.

And honestly put together a plan for the months to come. She added a lot of value that will definitely be missed. I will need to take on new responsibilities. Finances. Work.

I will use this time to get everything organized.

And maybe fuck a plate to keep my mind off her

[–]Redpillbrigade174 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

How about connecting with other dudes. Not over drinks and a game at the bar (though that would be good too), but lifting together, shooting (guns, bows etc), hiking, biking, martial arts training etc. You need to be social. And ultimately you want to be in a place of whether next chick leaves or stays you will be the same. It’s her loss. That’s the mindset you’ll want to have because you’ll know deep inside you’re building an awesome and attractive lifestyle that chicks will want to be a part of. And yes of course, play the field - you should always have a few FBs lined up and ready to go.

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m feeling this right now. I got sad today for some reason. I need to call my boys and keep busy

[–]Bedtimeshine2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

What’s stopping you from making these changes while still with her?

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I couldn’t take the nagging. I couldn’t put up with her. it was too hard to juggle her and all my other shit going on

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, too hard.......

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

She moves out today. 5 years go poof.

No that was 5 years of experience. Love is like science. You have not failed. You have merely demonstrated yet another way that it cannot be done. Now go do something different.

as I sit hear crying like a little bitch writing this over the loss of my dog....

No way! You can cry over a dog and not be a bitch. That said, why not negotiate weekends and every other Wednesday for 1 hour with the doggy?

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Negotiating doggy every other weekend - wtf I expected more from you coach.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are 4 legged little children with hair don't you know?

But seriously, the bond between a man and his dog is not something to dismiss lightly. It may not be as important as the bond between a man and his weapons but still.

My Wife? Yes!

My Dog? Maybe?

My gun? NEVER!

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t need the dog. I don’t need anything or anyone.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great! Now start focusing on what you WANT.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your forgot to include this "TL:DR - I'm too much of a lazy faggot to do any real hard work on myself."

You are a coward who hasn't internalized shit and you are hiding behind her feelings to justify your bullshit.

Fuck man I've been there - thought that killing the puppy was the right thing to do for me and then rationalized it was best for her and then some guys here told me wtf just work on you and see where it goes. I have no clue if my marriage is going to survive and I'm actually cool with that as I enjoy the time I have with her with no expectations of the future. But as I make more and more progress I realize the whole "stay plan is the go plan" really was the only way I could change and be a different person. I've been getting different shit tests, experiences, having to set boundaries and getting insane reactions from a woman who knows my weaknesses better than I know myself and all its doing is solidifying my frame and helping me address my weaknesses. Every once in a while I'll get a shit test or her trying to push a button and then afterwards I chuckle a little bit to myself and realize that shes pretty damn good at it. I also get to see the times when she is sweet, submissive and flirty and realize that shit this all was all my fault.

If I had just left 5 months ago, I would have ended up in the same bullshit again with plates or other LTRs even with RP knowledge because eventually they would have seen those weaknesses too. Its really not about reading or knowing red pill concepts its about getting to the point where its just who you are and that is hard fucking work - when you get there though you will realize it really is like not having to dodge bullets any more.

[–]InconspicuousWand[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That’s good for you man. But this is my mission and it doesn’t include her anymore. I’m relieved

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m hoping I’m wrong and I’m impressed you didn’t DEER at least.

Just don’t bullshit yourself.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is purge week. I knew it.

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good job killing the puppy. This was pretty foreseeable based on your last post, but you went through with it far sooner than most. Which will mean you get back on your feet earlier than most.

Good luck.

[–]ParaXilo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like your head is at least clear for the moment. You got a plan as well. Stay grounded.

Good luck.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well thank fuck for that.

Sometimes you can't fix broken. Spend the time on yourself and make a better life. Only then will you have the relationship you want.

[–]runnowxxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

good way to go man



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