Today I said it to myself again, i’ll file for divorce. But sadly not yet.

I’m 36/M professional, married 8 years to 31/F. 2 kids, aged 5 and 6. Son’s about to have important school interviews in 3 mths, so i’ll wait for 3 mths before seriously considering divorce.

Wife was always emotional. All the red flags. I was beta buck, so i caved into gaslighting almost everytime, she trained me into her atm machine.

Quiet days with kids are what i enjoy now. Sex currently almost non-existent.

I feel i’m going to divorce her sooner or later. But i fear the fight. I don’t want to be burdened so much financially so much so i can never be free of debt again.

2 mths ago i took the red pill. Now i jog 8 km daily, lift weights daily, and do 1 hour yoga daily. All the hard physical trainning has toughened me up, so i hold frame better, and little things like wife’s screaming do not bother me as much.

But today wife flipped and really screamed and threw away my stuff. Nothing important, just some card games. I’ve confronted her b4 after taking TRP. But i was tired today. I felt a headache, i wasn’t strong enough. I let her bully me around, and it happened in front of the kids. I feel like such a looser.

Like i lost a fight. Like all the physical and mental training wasn’t good enough, or wasn’t good enough yet.

So now i feel so down and feel like wanting to stay fucking depressed. I lifted instead of coz. But then night came and i’m feeling restless and sleepless.

I’m a believer of TRP now, u’ve got me converted. The question is, how can i find the strength to carry on?

And how will i know when i’m strong enough to file for divorce?

(And no “just lift more, faggot” type comments plz. I would if i could)

(Edit: hrs later i did get some useful comments among those that aren’t helpful. Thank you all for ur replies.)