Ok ASKMRP, riddle me THIS!!!

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August 17, 2017

We've all learned to 1) Initiate often and 2) be outcome independent.

What happens if she plainly says "can you stop asking for sex every day".

I have been very much OI, but initiating often... accompanied with Kino. everyime she says no, I honest to god say "your loss!" or follow her denial up with some other fun statement, read a book, go downstairs and hit the bag for a while... but good god man, every day being told no, then "stop asking" is a serious kick in the nuts.

The fact is, it's been 4 months now. Initiating as often as possible, sometimes in the worst situations, sometimes in the best. I get a ton of "just let me take care of it", which always leads into a 2-3 week dry period. So then, a stallion like myself let's 2 days go by before I slap her ass and ask again. Waiting for her to initiate after what's likely a week or two, or more, isn't acceptable. So I don't stop initiating, as it's something I don't feel I need to refrain from doing if I genuinely want it. Initiating isn't about wanting to make her upset, it's about opening the air for her to jump on her readily available sexy and high value husband.

Some background. Married 12 years. BP probably 11 of those years. I honestly dont give a flying fuck if she flicks me a hard no, as at the end of the day I'm the prize and it honestly is her loss. Ideally I'd love to continue our marriage together, but if she doesn't jump on this train I'm fully prepared to keep on chuggin.

So, fellow MRP's. When the crazy lovely harpy says "stop asking every day", what is YOUR response? Do you trust the lady that shell actually initiate... or do you keep on keeping on, and continue to be OI. For example, tonight is night 12 of initiating , and still a no. I'm not butt hurt, nor upset... but, Id like to fuck her, not other women - genuinely - shes my wife and I love her. So, what now? Do I go 20 days initiating, 30, 40, 200, 2000, 20,0000 oohhhh gooddddddd......

Teach me something I don't already know you sexy fucks. And .... go!

Post Information
Title Ok ASKMRP, riddle me THIS!!!
Author mmarp1w
Upvotes 13
Comments 68
Date 17 August 2017 02:39 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205656
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6u7375/ok_askmrp_riddle_me_this/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
hard nokino

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

If she's telling you to stop ASKING for sex, you need to reevaluate how you initiate. Don't be the horny little dog attached to her leg.

Kino her when it can not escalate and do this as often as possible. Simple shit like man handle her for 2 min before kids get home. Your kino = sex to her and you need to break that connection with new patterns of behavior.

You get to the point where you kino her constantly and there's no expectations. But essentially you're always initiating, its your choice when by reading how she responds to you.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks. I love the horny little dog analogy. I am, the horny little dog . Truth hurts Yeowch.

[–]freshona1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I had this conversation once, too. The difference being, she asked "Why are you fucking me every day?"

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"You're right, I should supplement"

[–]Red-Curious11 points12 points  (11 children) | Copy

This is why we have monk mode - something I went into before even coming here. I stopped initiating and just focused on improving myself. When I came out of monk mode, I was much better off.

Think of it like being in high school. There's a hot girl you've been wanting to ask out for a long time, so you butter up to her frequently, but you're fat and geeky and she kind of laughs you off. So, you start lifting, practicing game, and OYS and all that. 3 months later you're a genuine stud. During those 3 months you were still buttering up to her and at the end she's still turning you down.

Same situation, but the 3 months of change happen over the summer when you haven't been around her. All of a sudden, it's not, "Why won't he leave me alone?" Now it's, "Woah! What happened to him! Where did this come from?" You're a whole new person. Why? Because the change is seen all at once, it's not gradual.

Now, that's not a license to go Rambo and apply everything all at once. Rather, it means that before you start trying to reignite your sex life, you've got to change the relationship culture between the two of you first. So, you gradually implement RP, but stay in monk mode sexually while you practice your game on her and lift, sidebar, OYS, etc. She's not thinking about your SMV when you're not having sex. So, when you come out of your shell, it's like you just came back from summer break and "Woah! Where did that come from?!?"

But if you're pressuring her for sex constantly before then, she's evaluating your SMV everyday ... so the impact of the change is going to be squat. It's like, "Up .2 here, another .1 there ... did something dumb, so down .1, but up .3 for that ... his body got better, up another .2, but then he said that stupid thing, so down .2, then up some more." These small increments won't wow her and she won't realize the trend because she's not charting them on a scatter-plot graph. She'll notice ups and downs, not the overall pattern of up.

TL;DR - Go monk mode for a while.

Also, don't leave it up to her. She wants you to hand over that power. Screw that. You stay in charge of your sexuality. Go read the post from /u/reddreadwolverine a bit ago about intentional discomfort. Handing her the reigns is a DLV.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Thanks man. Great advice.

I know the words monk mode, but struggle like an idiot moron caveman in what that actually means. I'd imagine that's not just closing off for a few months with no talking or interaction. What's your best explanation of monk mode.

[–]Red-Curious6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Simply put, monks are celibate. Be celibate. TRP uses it most often when guys are so sex-obsessed that they can't rationally focus on improving themselves. So, they're told, "Stop all efforts at trying to get sex and just work on you." In TRP that usually gets applied as "avoid trying to pick up girls," because it's almost impossible to keep sex off the brain. That said, practicing game is impossible if you do this, so a total "closing off" is not helpful.

In MRP terms, I understand this more to be that you shouldn't be forcing or expecting sex for quite some time. If it happens, great, but don't necessarily use it as an opportunity to practice all kinds of new things - just enjoy it for what it is until you've improved yourself enough that you can try something new with the confidence you'll need to pull it off.

In my life, my wife and I went 18 months without sex. For the first 6 of that I kept trying in all the beta ways I knew how. Then I just gave up. Giving up is NOT monk mode. It became monk mode for me when I realized I could potentially start re-engaging with my wife, but I intentionally declined to do so because I realized I had a lot more work to do before she would be doing it out of desire rather than obligation. I didn't want obligation sex. So, even after sex eventually happened again, I didn't pursue it - I just worked on me. At the tail-end of this phase, I discovered RP and started implementing things, which jived with all the self-improvements I was already making, but helped me focus my efforts. Almost immediately, things started changing with my marriage/sex life.

I described it best like traveling from CA to Pike's Peak in Colorado. Everything I had done before RP was like traveling the horizontal distance. Then, as I was already at the foot of the mountain, RP is what it took to start my ascent. That's when my monk mode ended. Monk mode is the horizontal distance to get to the mountain. If you try to ascend before you get to the mountain, you'd better have magical wings or you're just going to keep jumping and falling right back down. Get to the mountain first, then ascend. That's the purpose of monk mode.

[–]Tebulus0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Read this OP, and this before you go monk mode if you are considering it. I used to recommend it often as well, however it is not the solution to this problem. If you are currently married how do you expect monk mode to work? The point of MRP is to improve over time while being in a couple. Cannot be the captain if the captain is meditating in his room. Besides, your root issue sounds like a problem with calibration and not one that just abstaining will even help with.

[–]Red-Curious3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I still think monk mode can work in an LTR/marriage - and I know it was beneficial to me. The key is confidence and attitude, and to own it. There was one point where my wife questioned me on why I'm not even trying anymore, fairly early in the process, thinking I was mad at her. I said, "I'm taking some time to figure myself out." She seemed to be processing what that meant. I didn't explain. Instead, I just pulled her in and said, "Besides, if I was all upset right now, would I do this?" and then made out with her for about 30 seconds. "Now go get some sleep. I'll let you know when I'm ready." She didn't bother me about it again.

When I came out of monk mode after finding RP toward the end and implementing some things, it was a drastic improvement from the garbage sex life we had before. I am fully confident that if I had kept trying to "initiate, initiate, initiate" during this time, the improvements in me would have come off as so gradual in the bedroom that she wouldn't have enjoyed the full experience of the change - especially the lifting. Her mental process each time would have looked something like this:

"sex with a fat guy ... sex with a little less fat guy ... a little less ... a little less ... can't tell if he's still fat or not, but I only remember him being fat, so it still feels like he's fat ... better shape ... better shape ... he kinda looks good, but it's really not all that different from the last time ... more in shape ... more in shape ... he looks really good, but this isn't at all as exciting as I had hoped."

By withholding on the initiating, I went from 75lbs obese one time we had sex to the very next time having huge pecs and my abs were showing. That stark contrast was jarring to her in a very good way. She physically saw my body change gradually over time, but she experienced it all at once in the bedroom.

But I do agree that monk mode for a married man looks different. It's pretty much only an intentional celibacy thing and for a short time. You still lead, OYS, lift, engage with your wife, etc. You do not go off to your room to meditate, withdraw emotionally or physically, ignore responsibilities, etc. That'd be idiotic.

[–]Tebulus0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe it can, but I do not think that is the rule and not an exception. I dont want to get into specifics about your wife and scenario because from what I know of you, your situation is unique in that you are religious and married a religious woman and have children together. Nothing wrong with that, but I feel that affects your personal outcomes with RP strategy. That is why you have a christian RP sub because the dynamics in marriage with religion as a part of the framework changes significantly compared to those without. In any case, your logic is failing to convince me monk mode is the fix here anyway. Current top comment addresses the root of the issue: Based on the wife's wording in this scenario she is not ok with the frequency of initiating and the way it is done, not how often they actually have sex and not a rationalization of no sex because of other unrelated failures. Not initiating in a relationship for a good reason like going Monk, or a bad reason like being a weak faggot is irrelevant. She will not perceive the difference between the two unless you are high value and she is attracted to you. Depending on your standing in the relationship and in the captain first mate dynamic she will perceive it as dread or as a failure on your part to lead you and lead her and you will lose value. You also lose valuable time to practice and improve kino. You also reinforce that by rejecting you for sex, she can control when you have sex and how often simply by deploying words which although you are not intending to happen, will start happening more and more is the wrong thing to communicate with your actions.

I am a fan of Monk Mode in general because most people are afraid of or not confident in themselves which isolation from sex can help address.

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good and fair reply. Thanks for typing this out.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

closing off for a few months with no talking or interaction.

NO!!!! This is not Monk Mode. This is butthurt little boy behavior. This is the silent treatment, not Monk Mode.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The in-depth definitions of how to do monk mode given above are great, but one thing to remember is that it can also be a big bag of Dread-flavored Hamster Food. Meaning she may wonder why you aren't initiating, and may wonder what you might be doing to get your needs met now - since you aren't actively pursuing sex with her.

Of course, this may backfire on men whose wives are glad he's finally stopped approaching her for sex.

[–]Throwawayhelper4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not really backfiring if she's glad you're not initiating anymore. Sounds like if she doesn't want to have sex with you the best for everyone is for the man to up his SMV and become more attractive, and then if she still doesn't find you sexually attractive you kick her to the curb for someone who does.

Sounds like the best possible scenario in this case. Constant rejection has lasting effects on both parties, overcoming constant rejection for 3 months is harder than asking for sex for the first time in 3 months when she might actually be attracted to you now.

I think this is valid when your wife is hard core saying no to you every single time without exception no matter the circumstance for an extended time period(many months or more).

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.00 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Before finding MRP I read NMMNG and did the monk mode exercise for 90 days. I had issues with porn and had my wifes pussy on a pedestal. During those 90 days I didnt initiate sex but I did kino my wife. Up until then I would give my wife hugs and kisses but never any kino unless it was an attempt at a weak ass initiation. That led to her being disgusted at my touch because she knew what it meant. Gradually over the 90 days me touching my wife changed the dynamic to her not thinking I was initiating by touching her. I would roll in hug her from behind, kiss her neck for a second and then go do yard work etc.

So from my experience it had pros and cons. It helped me get porn out and remove my wifes pussy form a pedestal. It also helped me remove the covert contract and gave me practice with actually touching and engaging my wife without expecting sex.

The cons were it gave my wife a 3 month moritorium on sex with me which extended into 9 months total. Again, for as frustrating as that was it helped me focus on myself first. Second, I got great at kino but awkwardly out of practice at initiating afterward.

So asses the situation and apply if needed.

[–]Red-Curious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This makes a lot of sense.

That led to her being disgusted at my touch because she knew what it meant.

Yeah, I was there. Conditioning her to accept physical touch without thinking I had an expectation of sex was a very difficult task, but also a very crucial one. If she thought it meant sex, she'd cringe because she didn't want sex most of the time. But, once she knew it was just about touch and not sex, her LMR shield dropped (or more accurately: never came up) in response to my touch. Result? The touch would actually make her horny sometimes (not every time). So, where previously she'd reject the touch because she didn't want sex, accepting the touch turned her attitude around so that she actually did want sex in a large minority of incidences (maybe 40%).

[–]AustralianArm6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

BP for 11 years (I usually add an error margin of 50% to that figure), 4 months in to MRP...

That means you have probably another year until she values you again.

Keep up the initiating, if you get a hard no, just go do something else and keep working. It will come.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Holy fuck a year ? So I've been that much of a wiener ?

[–]AustralianArm4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Definitely sounds like it

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha got it

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time isn't your issue. The fact that you haven't done a level of work commensurate with changing her mind about your status is the problem. Maybe put as much energy into making yourself better as your putting into thinking about having sex w/ a person that isn't into you.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

stop asking

Wifey let out a big nugget for you to chew on and she probably has no idea. Women don't want to be "asked." They want to be taken. Asking for sex is like asking if you can kiss her. You don't "Ask" you Kino, Initiate, and then Escalate. Whey do you need to "ask?" Little girls "ask." Men DO. If she wants to turn your nonverbal escalation down then she is going to have to bring it into the verbal realm and that is very difficult for women. It requires them to actually accept responsibility for their feelings and we all know how they HATE that.

every day

How is this even possible to get turned down every day? After being turned down you should put her on ice for at least a couple of days. Get busy and occupy yourself. Leave your phone at home and don't answer texts. GET BUSY! Then after a day or two reintegrate as if nothing has happened. You are not being malicious and punitive when you ignore her for a couple days after a sexual denial. No hard feelings...but you can't be bothered to spend time with a woman who is not attracted to you and makes your life unpleasant.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks BPP.

[–]Nec_sorte_Nec_fato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff, thanks.

[–]lpn_artist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome advice...exactly what I'm looking for.

[–]cabanaboy462 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ive been at this for about 8 months and we've been together 7 years. Fwiw, after lifting and eating clean for 4 months i was starting to see gains in wifes attitude and in the mirror. I started out initiating every day which was a departure from my previous behavior and i was getting similar responses from the wifey.

At month 4 i thought "im looking good, I'm dressing good, people at work are noticing my changes, wtf is up with her and why am i still having issued getting laid?"

In retrospect, a major issue was that i was still doing it for her and i was initiating to have sex because i wanted validation more than just being horney all the time. After one rejection around that time frame i said fuck it, this is for me at this point. I didnt tell her i was done trying or anything but a switch flipped internally. Fast forward to month 8, im still making gains, she askes if we can fuck after showing together and afterwards she says "when did you get so jacked?"

The point is, stay the course but do it for you. Month 4 was a milestone for me and it may be for you as well. If your serious about making this a lifetime to commitment to being better, she will take notice eventually. If your still dealing with this situation 8 months from today and you've followed the levels of dread you will be fine one way or the other.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for writing that, you're absolutely right in that this has to be about me, and that's it. I agree and while it's always been the intent - it's refreshing to be reminded.

[–]RPJMRP2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Don't ever "ask" for sex.

Why are you listening to what she says? No. You should not yield your sexuality to a woman's whim.

Lastly, stop being weird and re-engage in the process. All the "riddle me this" shit isn't needed and distracts from your goal.

Work the process physically and mentally and stay focussed.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Hmmm ok, but some say to always be initiating . It's not weird in the fact that I'm standing there being a freak naked butthead asking for sex. Anyways, I'm not here to defend myself only take in some advice. So yours of don't be weird is taken without complaint. Props

[–]RPJMRP1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You said you ask for sex. How do you initiate? Are you capable of initiating without saying a word?

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

When I think about it - in the past, it's always been verbal.

Could i initiate without words without coming across like some creepy fuck? With some practice perhaps. Maybe that's where the kino helps.

Yes, I did say I ask for sex. And you're right, i do.

[–]RPJMRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time to stop doing that. If she thinks you're creepy then you aren't attractive yet.

Women want to see you act like a man. Be direct. Pin her arms to her body, kiss her passionately, take her clothes off and fuck her. Don't ask for permission. I man takes what he wants. You want her? Then fucking take her.

Make her feel feminine as a response to your masculinity. Let your actions speak for yourself. Give her some motivation in not saying no. That motivation should be it feels good to say yes.

Make her uncomfortable with looks that last too long in front of her friends or family. When she bitches at you tell her to stop making your dick hard and maintain eye contact the whole time.

Grab her by the hair when she walks by and pull her close to your body. Smile at her from an inch away and hold eye contact for 10 seconds. Then walk away.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow you do need a lot of reading.

Shut your goddamn mouth.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe that's where the kino helps

You think? 89% + of communication is nonverbal. I can initiate from across the room with my wife. Women love a man's lustful gaze and often respond sexually to being observed by a man and appreciated like a steak sandwich.

[–]RPJMRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, initiate if you want to fuck her. Don't initiate because some random on the interwebz told you to.

Initiate in a masculine way. Initiate in a way that she wouldn't want to tell her GF's about because she knows it would make them wet.

Don't turn over and ask her if she's in the mood.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

asking for sex

Again you frame it wrong. Stop asking. Start doing.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Note that initiation is a form of attention. At some point, initiating even more often when she rejects you more is "rewarding" her for rejecting you, and reassuring her of the power her magic princess pussy holds over you (anti-Dread). Reread about Dread Level 4: gradually withdrawing time and attention in response to repeated denials.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

She does not think you are the prize, and it must just be fucking annoying to her. TBH you sound like a pain in her ass. Get her to want you, by reading the side bar, and applying it for 11+ months in a gradual fashion.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Jesus fucking 12 inch Christ 11 months sounds like an eternity. I'm a 35 year old with the libido of a 18 year old. Except I know, and I understand, that taking the process slow works. Truth hurts. Tips to pass the time besides just get ripped like wolverine?

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the sidebar.


And do it OUT of the house.

Give her hamster something to do.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you push it (and most do), the term is going Redpill Rambo.

It backfires, because the "new you" and her image of what you are (built up during all the years you've known each other) are incongruent in her mind.

Therefore she must reject one of those realities.

So, the new you loses. Everytime.

Congrats, you just lost Everything you worked for up to that point.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I'm gonna douche it up here and link my own post about Captain Rambo

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, look at my history you will see i pushed the lack of patience thing too. Got burnt to the ground too. Pass the time by practicing on other chicks, spend time at the gym etc. Reading is good. Take up some hobbies. I am now addicted to the small 'wins' both of my own (e.g. IOI from random) and yes, still those coming from her (I have to ditch this validation / dependence). It winter for me whilst i have been going through this, which has helped a fair bit (fuck all else to do). Once you get into it there is so much to do it keeps you pretty busy.

Mind you my wife is still good for a few times per week, so I reckon that must make a big difference to patience

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man

[–]2235521 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Firstly you are not OI, .... because you are here, complaining. That probably means, you act OI around your wife, but you are still not there. It takes time, until then, fake it till you make it.

Sex is still your goal, probably because its validation. That needs to change. If you were single, you would go for weeks or more without sex, and not be bothered, because there are many other things to fill your life with. Adapt similar attitude now.

I don't know how you initiate, but if it comes across as needy, its a huge turnoff. But, if you want to initiate, then initiate.

You are still early on in the process, You see the world in all different colors now, but your wife still sees as you the same BP man, as you were for most of your marriage, that will take time, hence 1 month for every year you are together...

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks makes sense. I am certainly faking it before I make it with her .... last night I left and literally went outside and breathed out a huge fuuuucccckkk ....

Appreciate your honesty and support, taking it all in.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she asks like that, stop reading the sidebar. That sort of girl is a straight talker, she likes sweet men with dad bods. A real unicorn.

On a serious note, do not listen to your wife. Read the sidebar, lift, hold frame, work on your LMR and increase dread.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So then, a stallion like myself

Nothing wrong with your humour!

I honest to god say "your loss!" or follow her denial up with some other fun statement, read a book, go downstairs and hit the bag for a while.

You can only deliver this from a very strong frame, and even then the 'your loss' statement is a little on the border of being butthurt, but in your dynamic it could work if it is kept light, but currently from her words and actions I'd say no.

Do not underestimate how perceptive women are in reading body language. Even if you verbally say you are cool your body language can betray your feelings as butthurt.

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck with her head.

Kino, touch etc...

Kiss 5 seconds, then no attention for 1 hour.

Sometimes pat her on the ass as you walk by, sometimes don't.

Walk as if you're going to kino her, then do something completely unrelated to her.

Women don't like certainty in anything. Create unpredictability.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

What happens if she plainly says "can you stop asking for sex every day".


Then go fuck another woman.

I honest to god say "your loss!"

Why would you say such stupid bullshit? How exactly is she losing out? She'd be losing out if she wanted to fuck you in the first place. She'd losing out if you went to some other chick to fuck instead of you - but as it stands - how in the ever loving fuck do you figure she's losing out you stupid stupid cunt?

a stallion like myself

ahahahah. thanks for the chuckle.

it honestly is her loss

And here, ladies and gentleman, we see the male hamster in its natural environment.

I'm not your wife. I don't know you. I read that and all I can think is "what a fucking loser". I can't imagine how much worse your wife, having seen you as a bitch for the past 11 years, sees it.

Lets hear you talk about your dad bod.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Ouch, lol. Ok good points. Makes sense. Then riddle my dad bod this - what would your reaction be? Tell me, straight up. Without sounding like a complete fucking psycho Rambo retard, I have tried to turn rejection into some fun. It likely comes off as butthurt regardless.

Come on, kick my ass

[–]SgtSilverBack4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You have already received the answer to your questions. W&S will give you the same answer as everyone else only minus the bro love everyone else is giving you.

Give her a reason to want to fuck you everyday. That means Lift, Read and STFU. Work on you, learn how to iniatiate like a man, increase YOUR value of yourself.

Right now she's sees the child she has been married to for 11 years and he KEEPS BUGGING HER FOR SEX. She doesn't want it except for the random times when she wants to shut you up and hope you will get off her back about it.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"...will get off her back..."

Maybe he's going about it all wrong.

Starting in the wrong position...

[–]SgtSilverBack1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guarantee he is.

Pulling on her pant leg for 20 minutes "Mom, Mom,MOM, MOMMY, MOMMA, MOM. WANT TO HAVE SEX" then pouty face. She sighs, and says "Fine, but just a little bit, I still have to make dinner, do the bills and be the man of house"

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your woman is smarter than you.

Musicians have written tons of songs about not writing checks your ass can't cash.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop seeking validation

[–]anotherswingingdick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

what would your reaction be?

To be honest, if she's already saying that shit to your face..... she's already checked out of the sexual relationship, mentally. Can you prove to me that she's not getting HER sex appetite fulfilled someplace else?

You really ought to talk to a divorce lawyer sooner rather than later.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As your value improves and dread ramps up the right response could be:

stop asking every day

you know I need this right?

then walk away and pull a soft next for at least 3 days.

Have you been pulling back comfort in response to these rejections? Do you reward her with a bit of extra TLC right after fucking?

I rarely say I love you outside of the bed. If she wants my attention she must earn it

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Me: late night initiation, just horny

Her: "Baby, I'm tired and sleepy."

Me: "I know baby, I'm tired too, but I can't go to sleep, and I know my tossing and turning will keep you awake."

Her: "...sleepy time now..."

Me: "Sleepy time in a few minutes. I need my wife to satisfy me. It will take 5 minutes. I PROMISE."

Her: "You never take 5 minutes. What position do you want?..."

I don't know why, but this has worked quite a few times.

I'm thinking because I tell her I need MY WIFE?

Whatever. I'll keep it in the tool box as long as it works.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I stopped reading after your question. It's been covered, but you need to become attractive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

if she thinks you are asking for sex and this annoys you...

consider why it annoys you...

does she say no?

do you actually ask?

Is your kino isolated to the times you want to have sex?

you know how you are probably more likely to get her something pretty if she would just not ask?? its like that.

[–]BIG_HUB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep working on yourself, have you been hitting the gym? How are your dread levels coming? This is important, are you getting out on your own without your wife i.e. Hobbies or volunteer work? Or just to get out for a beer with the guys? Are you dressing like a slob? It's all work you need to do...

[–]nooomaam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hate this ...and go... shit. The self absorbed bitches who do this just scream validation whore.

But - since it's a fun topic, I'll just say this:

If not you, then who?

Stop asking me for sex.

Well then I'll go ask somebody else.

And then walk out of the house. Not the room. The house. For 4 hours.

[–]RealityTastesGreat0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like she is not turned on when you 'initiate' The goal is to have her so turned on my your masculine presence that she's going crazy waiting for you to initiate, or being seductive. How are you doing with tuning the rest of your ship.

[–]mmarp1w[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's a hard question to be honest with. How good am I being the captain? I can't ever be too good, but with three littles and summer break for them the co captain feels tired by this point entertaining them everyday. I come home from a long day and take charge where in can. Sometimes this is met with "it's easy for you to come home and be the happy guy when you haven't spent all day with them". I typically smile and agree.

Ahem. Aside from barfing all that out, I do what I can when I can and always could improve on steering this three ring circus side show, I mean ship.

[–]RealityTastesGreat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Only a very lazy captain thinks in terms of a co-captain. A competent captain might have a first mate.

It seems that you have changed your expectations without changing yourself. Changing expectations is by far the smallest part of the whole deal. Sidebar. Sidebar. Sidebar.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your two primary issues are time and GAFs.

You recoiled at the suggestion of taking the time to build yourself because you have the libido of an 18yo.

If she is the mother of 3 children and in her early 30's, she's probably not going to want to fuck an unattractive, immature 18yo.

You need to put in the time, and the work.

You are trying to have OI and DGAF from a very week frame.

Frame = time + work. You can't read about frame and have one.

time + work = Frame.

It's past time you buy into the paradigms here and demonstrate the praxeology.

You are trying to ride a new Harley Davidson 1200cc off the lot without ever having taken the training wheels off you 10" bicycle.

You're skipping steps and fucking up.

Go back, start over, and this time, do this shit for YOU.

[–]rocketskates42095760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i was in the same boat, more or less, not too long ago...and here's what i did: -monk mode for 2 weeks. taking sex completely off the table for myself was actually kind of a relief. long before i found MRP, i was constantly looking at myself in the mirror. MRP reinforced, or helped make sense of, a lot of the revelations i had and what i needed to do to ease my inner turmoil. if you havent spent much time thinking about anything other than gettin in her guts before this, you may want to set a longer time. see it through, even if you feel you're ready sooner. it'll show you you can live without and takes a lot of the sting out of the hard no's.

  • When my 2 weeks was up I still wanted to take it slow and work on internalizing what I've been learning. So when I initiated, I INITIATED! There was no asking, no trying to "warm her up" to the idea of it. I did what I wanted to do without worrying if she was in the mood or not. If I was worried about getting a hard no and slipping back into resentment mode, I would tell myself before hand "if she says no, or is clearly not in the mood I will back off. If you can say that to yourself without feeling any anxiety, go for it. If that thought stirs up some shit inside you, you're not in a good place and should probably reconsider initating.

-I also quit talking about sex almost completely, and when I did bring it up it was more of a passing thought, like planting a seed. One quick comment, no concern with her response. And then I moved the conversation to another subject. At first I'll admit I struggled with that part. But it's already feeling natural to me.

Whatever time frame you set for yourself, use that time to find your self confidence and talk to your wife! It is so much easier to rebuild the relationship you have with yourself, and with her, without the distraction of sex. And then when the time comes everything should just sort of....click, i guess.

It helped me tremendously. Good luck!

[–]RedDreadWolverine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why not change everything and freak her the fuck out? This is a tactic I get guys to use all the time to make giant leaps in their relationships. Yes, lifting, consistency and stability over time improves your situation. But sometimes it's worth knocking the chess board off the table. Here's how changing everything works.

She is your current priority. Getting sex from her is your current priority. She holds all the cards if you are trying to reason or negotiate with her. You have to act in a way that makes her think that she's at risk for some kind of loss. She can't handle loss like a man can.

Pick half a dozen priorities that are not her. That aren't for her approval. Things that you deep down know will add to your personal value in your own eyes. Not in hers. I started lifting, started a business, started training in firearms, riding a motorcycle out to the middle of no where and camping, BJJ, and started a RedPill group at my church.

These days... she knows she's on my list of priorities... but her spot changes based on whether she knows how to act on that particular day. You understand?

Stop thinking there's some cheat code to trick her into fucking you. She doesn't want to fuck you because you're likely being a punk ass bitch who's doing zero and needs her more then she needs you. Work on yourself and do actual work to earn your value instead of spending value you don't have. If you were actually outcome independent you would've picked up on this. And don't call yourself "readily available" and "high value". Only one can be true in this particular situation.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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