Gents,
Thanks in advance for your time and unbiased advice.
I recently learned with very mixed emotions that my LTR of 5 years was accepted for entry to a prestigious medical school program on the other side of the country. I am elated for her in the sense that I've shared her struggle throughout our time together in overcoming the many obstacles to get to this point. At the same time I am remorse at the prospect of the relationship ending due the necessary relocation she will have to make. This is a career she has wanted her entire life and I decided to be with her despite knowing the potential consequences.
Several times she has asked to consider (1) a long-distance relationship or (2) me moving with her. LDRs are fake and do not work. I am also opposed to moving as my career, house, family, and childhood friends are all located here in the DC/VA area. The school's location is in the middle of no-where-USA and has very little to show for itself besides cheap real-estate. My moving would introduce limited career opportunity as high-tech jobs and potential grad schools are few in this area.
As further background about us and the relationship:
I am 32, male, successful at my career and with finances, own my home and other luxuries with very little debt. My income is very healthy and I am tall with an attractive athletic build and appearance. There is an abundance of other dating/relationship options in my current area and I have no doubt in my ability to meet new people.
She is 24, female, successful with her young career and works hard. She is very physically attractive (I'd rate 8/10) with a personality and lifestyle that checks 90% of my boxes in a potential mate. She comes from a foreign Eastern European country with a feminine yet independently-minded upbringing.
Our relationship has very much been one of dominance-submissiveness to the extent that her maturity and personal growth has allowed. Sex life has been great and she lets me do whatever I want at any time. Our families know each other and while hers has remained toxic towards me due to the age difference, she moved out from them 3 years ago against their wishes to live with me at my request. She has enjoyed seeing and bonding with my parents and family weekly. She paid reasonable rent the entire time we lived together and agreed to contribute fairly (50:50, mostly) for ongoing expenses such as meals, supplies, shared activities, etc. She had no objections when I made her sign a co-habitation agreement before moving in (the house is solely under my name).
We also work in the same field. If we stay together, I am concerned that her mindset will change from a point of submissiveness/feminine to dominant/alpha as she surpasses me in higher education and income potential (albeit this will take 10+ years to catch up).
If the relationship were to end after moving with her, this will leave me fucked and in the middle of nowhere. I am fully aware of the oneitis at play, although she objectively deserves praise as by far the highest overall quality woman I have been with. Prior to meeting her, I had been through several low quality LTRs followed by a period of plate-spinning multiple younger attractive women over a period of 6 years.
We both very much wanted a family and marriage in the future although I was holding out due the potential of her professional goals bringing an end to the relationship.
What would you do, MRP? The way I see this there are two options:
(1) Remember the happy times. Move on. Enjoy being single in a young active metropolitan area again (ugh).
(2) Move with her. Accept the double-or-nothing risks. Likely get married (with a aggressive pre-nub).
This situation is very fresh and emotionally raw for me, so please do call bullshit where needed.
Warmly, TomBlitz
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