I think I'm low value...how do I increase my probability of finding a partner?

ragnarockette · 2019-07-03T12:46:50+00:00

The best things you can do to increase your market value:

Be a healthy weight. 60% of women are overweight so just by being healthy, not even Victoria’s Secret model thin, you put yourself in the top half.
Be a positive person. If you think you have depression see a therapist and get medicated. Dont be too proud. If you have low self esteem then there is only one way to combat that: do estimable things! Try out some new hobbies and make goals. Volunteer. Become politically active. Take on a home improvement project. But self esteem will never magically appear while watching Netflix on the couch.
Dress well. That doesn’t mean designer gowns. Just do your hair and makeup every day and put on a nice, flattering outfit. Skirts and dresses are great but jeans and a nice top are totally fine too. Look like you care about yourself.
Spend time with friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself. social people are more attractive and being out and about is probably the best way for you to meet potential men.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-07-03T14:11:43+00:00

"I'm inferior and different from girls of my age because of my lack of experience and I can't stand the fact that I'm "late" in relationships and sex"

Men do not judge you by the criteria that you use to judge them. Your lack of experience in sex in not a bad thing.

donottrustahoemygod · 2019-07-03T13:44:18+00:00

Contrary to what you said, I think the right guy would love your inexperience. Men like to “teach” women things (it makes them feel like a leader), and my man loved introducing me to the world of sex. Make sure you pick a good guy though, not one who is predatory or selfish in bed.

jayval90 · 2019-07-03T13:53:49+00:00

The fact that you're a virgin is a positive, and something that you have to offer that most girls your age cannot. Don't fall into the trap of being a tryhard about getting laid.

[deleted] · 2019-07-03T13:04:49+00:00

you need to work in self esteem. If you dont like yourself how do expect others to do so? Stop putting yourself down and start learning to love yourself. Men like when a woman takes care of herself and is confident. When im nervous or anxious I try to let people know how i feel and I usually feel better because most people ive been around have been able to understand including men. I was in a bad relationship and I was afraid of leaving because I felt i wasnt capable or i didnt have anything to offer but talking to friends and family really helped to put myself together, build my confidence back and get out there and I have no regrets. Also you need to understand that if someone doesnt give you the same effort and attention you are giving them do not waste time! I know rejection sucks but most of the time they didnt deserve you in the first place.

loneliness-inc · 2019-07-03T15:50:16+00:00

Being a 24 year old virgin isn't late. If someone is looking for a wife, virginity gives you higher value. If you were a 35 year old virgin, they might wonder why no one wanted you until now, but at 24 you're still young.

Your bitterness and anxiety though are what will make you highly unattractive to men. Looks are important, but looks are merely the first point of contact. If you're a bitter ball of anxiety, you can be the most smoking hot 10/10 and no man will want you because men don't want to put up with drama and bullshit.

pyrehoula · 2019-07-03T17:40:14+00:00

Girl, there are women who would kill to be in your shoes. A lot of (possibly most?) men would love to be the one to teach their lifetime partner everything about intimacy. You’re young, and youthfulness is inherently attractive. That said, your feelings are completely valid and okay to feel, even if they aren’t entirely based on the reality of your situation. Feel them, realize that your thought process isn’t entirely rational, then let them go.

From what you’ve written, it seems like the most unattractive thing about you is how your see yourself. Even if you’re not sobbing “woe is me, I’m a disgusting cow!” men can still tell that you don’t like yourself, and it’s off-putting. But never fear, that can be fixed!

What helped me was reading what other women on this sub say make them valuable. While, sure, some of the things women say are stuff like “we have sex 900 times a day and I’m hot as hell” (which is fantastic! but not the end all, be all) almost every woman says that she provides something no one else can - her companionship. Anyone can go pay for an escort, hire a chef, or look at some hot women in magazines, but only one man will be lucky enough to have you by his side throughout his life. Once you see your presence as intrinsically valuable but a possible source of attainable improvement, you’re free to stop obsessing over how your feet are two sizes too big and your nose is about a millimeter too far to the left. Then you can focus on improving your self and in turn being more pleasant to be around. No man worthy of a relationship will turn you down because you’re five pounds more than you think you should be, but almost every man will turn you down if that’s all you can think about when you’re with him. That’s not to say don’t continue to try to improve other areas of your RMV, but don’t get so obsessed with the little things that you throw your most important asset in the garbage.

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2019-07-03T13:21:02+00:00

You're 24 years old. Relax!

There's a lot of good advice that's already been provided others.

There's a book I've been reading that you might consider called "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" by Amy Morin. It's easy to read and could help you gain some self confidence, or at least help you not sabotage yourself. You should be able to find it at your public library or an online audiobook.

Good luck!

riggedved · 2019-07-04T05:43:33+00:00

You being a virgin is a big deal for many men. You have a massive edge over other girls, even girls younger than you.

machobanjopanda · 2019-07-03T12:56:10+00:00

24yo? You've got another 10+ years before you're "not that young for the dating market". Chill.

morganKxoxo · 2019-07-03T14:57:54+00:00

I wouldn’t worry at all about inexperience. I’d focus on making yourself the best version of you and that will attract men. Take care of your body and get in shape, that’s a HUGE part of being attractive. Work on your self esteem, you are valuable and you need to treat yourself as such. Work on loving yourself and taking care of yourself. Wear clothes that flatter you, maybe try a new hair style. But don’t beat yourself up over inexperience, that’s the last thing I’d be worried about, men aren’t concerned with that.

bluest_light_ · 2019-07-03T12:57:11+00:00

You said you feel uncomfortable in your own body, and this lack of confidence most likely shows; not just in you but in everyone, men and women. when it comes to what's attractive, i think confidence is a big one for both men and women. it's great that you're working on treating your anxiety, i don't know if you're seeing a therapist but it might be something to look into if you think you need help with building your confidence. and i'm 20 and i haven't done much with guys either, i know it's sometimes hard and you feel a bit alienated when the norm for girls our age is the opposite, but there's nothing wrong with it. and this might be annoying advice, but try not to think about it so much, or men in general. think of yourself, become more confident; i've found that a guy more often than not comes into my life at a time when i'm not even thinking about men.

of course because you're getting older you might start to feel nervous, but i think in the red pill community there's the idea that once you hit 27 then you're worthless in the dating market which doesn't seem to be the case; there's loads of omen dating well into their 30s and doing just fine. and i think a lot of men, if not most in their late 20s and 30s in general seem to prefer (seriously) dating women their own age. i was dating a guy 7 years older than me when i was 19, and i got the sense that he didn't take me seriously, like i was just for fun, if you understand. i don't think a lot of older men take younger women seriously when it comes to dating. so even if you're single in your late 20s and early 30s there will be men who want to date you. Although as you get older it's a problem if you want children. sorry this was so long.

immaculacy · 2019-07-04T02:25:59+00:00

It's awesome you've never kissed. You are automatically higher in sexual market value than most single women your age because you are a virgin. Even if you think it's coincidence or because you didn't get a chance, it is still a very great thing to be a virgin. It's better than the alternative where you had lots of offers and decided to give it away. Don't worry about that at all.

Other people already gave some good advice on here. Take care of yourself. Do your hair. Dress up.

24 isn't too old if you try to find a husband now. There's no need to be anxious. You'll find the right man soon.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-07-03T20:10:53+00:00

WHY do you think that you are unattractive? What specifically?

Are you obese? Have a hump? Wandering eye? Zero fashion sense? What? Can't offer advice if we don't know why you think you are unattractive.

Given you have anxiety, it could all be at least partially in your head. I've felt before that I'm unattractive, and my wife points out that I get girls checking me out regularly (which I just don't even see), so...

elena426 · 2019-07-03T22:34:07+00:00

What stands out most form this post is the negative opinions and beliefs about yourself: you're not attractive, you don't attract men, you're inferior, etc. Self-fulfilling prophecy?
These negative beliefs should be addressed first and foremost before you try attracting a lasting partner. Take stock of your belief system about yourself and then question why you feel that way; is it rational, would you come to the same conclusion about someone else, is it based on fact, etc. If you want to PM me I can send you book suggestion and processes that can help change your belief systems and honestly will help someone like you gain confidence and see all the positives about yourself VS the negatives. AND THEN, you can focus on outward things like body/appearance, how you dress etc.

RT-AC66U · 2019-07-06T18:26:45+00:00

Do activities , meetups, etc. That you enjoy.

the_1_who_got_away · 2019-07-03T13:30:33+00:00

I'm also a 24-year-old virgin with low self esteem. I understand you. :(

ZigZagProton · 2019-07-03T16:08:13+00:00

If you’re really Not attractive that’s the number one issue. Other than that, high value men really don’t care about anxiety, inexperience or Virgin at 24, most high value men view it as a big plus. To fix not attractive you’ll have to see a plastic surgeon and see what he can do to help you, and find a good one to make sure he do it right.

v3rd4nd1 · 2019-07-04T19:18:32+00:00

Maybe you try to date men that are out of your league?

YouNeverKnowAnyone · 2019-07-06T21:22:45+00:00

Are you physically attractive?

your_cat_is_ugly_ · 2019-07-09T18:46:15+00:00

I don't know what your ethnicity but I can tell you as an ugly white woman who is also shaped like a fridge, has an asymmetrical face and horrible hair ect I have had way more luck with non white men because non white men often seem to fetishise white women. In my case my husband is Chinese. I'm sure it's the same with other non white men. Non white men seem really open to me even if white men are not. I have also found that I can date non white men who are above me in terms of education, intelligence and income where as with white men if they like me they have a low income and they are not very smart. No good if you want the best outcomes for your children and want to be a housewife. I am also not into men who are too macho or physical. I prefer intellectual men. I have found that intellectual white men have the highest standards of them all.

It's funny because lots of white men get angry and upset when they hear that I am with a non white man despite the fact that I can do much better when I date non white.

JohnPettimore · 2019-07-03T12:53:39+00:00

Make it clear, right up front, that you are very interested in sex and that he is unquestionably going to get laid. I'm not kidding. Men, especially young men (i.e. in your age group) absolutely hate all the game-playing, manipulation, and miscommunication around sex. If you make it absolutely clear to someone you're out with that as soon as possible, you want to get him out of his clothes and have him do you into the next time zone, no kidding, right now, that is a massive differentiator. I dated someone once who referred to that as her "signature move." It's important, and it works.

Title	I think I'm low value...how do I increase my probability of finding a partner?
Author	ellierodg
Upvotes	58
Comments	48
Date	July 3, 2019 12:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/c8nkup/i_think_im_low_valuehow_do_i_increase_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-think-im-low-valuehow-do-i-increase-my.244219 https://theredarchive.com/post/244219