Hoe Phase

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-09-16T20:05:41+00:00

I don't know why just being single and acting like a single person is referred to as some kind of "phase" that has some kind of official designation and parameters. When you are single you act however you want to act when you are single. If that is sleeping with lot of people that's great, if it's not sleeping with people that's great to. There's no set time period to be single or go through some official phase.

novelgrowth16 · 2019-09-16T19:47:29+00:00

1- depends on the person and experince 2- till you are ready for a LTR 3- nah 4- more than 3 is too much espically for women

Texastentialism · 2019-09-16T21:20:57+00:00

I'm pretty sure I met my husband at the beginning of what would have been my hoe phase. I had spent the previous four years in relationships with only a few months in between wherein I was celibate (not by choice, I just didn't care to hook up with anyone/didn't meet anyone I cared to hook up with).

When I got out of the last of those relationships, I really felt like a different person. I had changed a lot, and my life had changed a lot, over the course of those four years. As much as I hate this phrase, I had "found myself." I was suddenly single and more confident and uninhibited than I had ever been. I started going out, socializing and flirting with guys more than I ever had before. Some of those flirtations led to hookups I never would have engaged in a few years prior. For the first time in my life I felt confident and cute and desirable, and I was taking advantage of all that came with that, without caring much whether it actually went anywhere.

But then I met my husband and became single-mindedly, brain-damaged obsessed with him. I suppose he was part of my "hoe phase" too, since the first six months or so of our relationship was just a series of drunken hookups and pretending not to have feelings for each other. But eventually that became an LTR that became very serious very fast, and that was that. My hoe phase was over as quickly as it began.

[deleted] · 2019-09-16T23:37:45+00:00

Depends on that persons mindset and what exactly they define a hoe phase as. My hoe phase was simply texting/"talking" to a bunch of different guys, having a few relatively tame and spaced out hook ups, not every weekend a different dick. I'm just not the type of person that craves variety and sex with different people at a high rate.
As long as it takes for them to gather the information they need. Some people do it intentionally, some people hoe out on autopilot (which is weird to me, but no shame).
Yeah, and I wouldn't care. I like knowing that I'm different, or he fucked all those other thots and now I'm the prize at the finish line lmao.
I don't have a set number, but I think like 2 new people a week is kind of insane.
Yeah, it was so fun when I was on copious amounts of adderall and listened to Cardi B all the time and thought I was a pimp. Then I realized I was being a hoe because I was insecure about my ability to receive love in a relationship, stopped being fun. Sex was never good, and I was a hoe with a heart on my sleeve. I was hoeing to find love, didn't work, 0/10. I basically just had sex to cheat the system, I thought that since I'd never been in a relationship if I just cut to the sex part it would make up for my lack of experience in that area. Didn't work. I now only want sex with someone I'm emotionally attached to, but I'm also afraid of emotional attachment so my pussy is out of commission.

NockerJoe · 2019-09-16T19:34:20+00:00

I know a lot of people that fucked around in drunken parties and orgies in high school then immediatley turned into wholesome family types upon graduation. I know some people still fucking around past 30 or 40 or 50. I'm not some cosmic arbiter so I can't talk about consequences. I'm not gonna wife up one of those though and I won't take one seriously. The lack of women worth the effort is why I've resolved to never marry.

prostate-apostate · 2019-09-16T19:46:09+00:00

Yes unless you get stds or pregnant
Freshman year of college
I go with the mentality that every woman i try to date has had 1 and if she tells me other wise i will assume she is lying to appear more of ltr .
Depends on age 5.no
Woman get to have the option of hoe phase , a selct few of men will get that option . Most men have to commit to relationship or lie about wanting a relationship to get a laid.

NaturalQueer · 2019-09-16T21:50:24+00:00

Are they beneficial or detrimental? As long as your happy it's fine, if it start to hurt you or others not fine.
How long should they last? You do you, however long you want
Would you marry someone who had one? Would you want to know if your partner had one? Yes and if they wanted to tell me
How many partners is too many? It only to many when you keep going after your personal boundaries say stop again you do you.
Did you have one? How was it? What conclusions did you draw from it? Yes, it was alright. Nothing really? I like sex, learned different ways of pleasuring and being pleasured but otherwise I don't have some deep wisdom now or anything.

ResponsibleCharacter · 2019-09-16T21:55:59+00:00

if you were never a hoe before and are suddenly doing it as a result of trauma (huge LTR breakup or whatever) it is generally detrimental I'd say.
My "hoe phase" aka not in a long term monogamous relationship with the goal of eventual marriage but still having sex with men was less than a year. Maybe 8 months.
Uh, yes. I think everyone tries to get under someone else after an emotionally difficult breakup. Or several someone elses in short succession lmao.
Eh. I was considering entering into a sexual relationship with someone who was at like 28 and I didn't care. I think if it's 50+ I'd be like O.o and doubt their ability to even be monogamous ever. But 28 people at nearly 30 isn't that weird if they weren't tied up in monogamous relationships at all during their adulthood. It's like a few a year since 18. He had wayyy more than me but I wasn't like horrified by it.
I did, or at least to me it was because I'd only slept with two men before. It was unfulfilling, lol. It helped me understand myself sexually (and figure out that men by and large suck at sex) and what I want from a romantic/sexual relationship. I don't regret it at all and it didn't change how I feel about myself. I definitely realized that casual sex is lame for women and it's better to just buy a good vibrator until a decent man to date, at least exclusively if casual, comes along

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Unusual_Table · 2019-09-16T20:26:36+00:00

Depends on the person. Hindsight is 20/20.
Doesn't matter though they typically happen during times of newfound sexual freedom whether that be as an adolescent, when you move away from home, after a divorce, etc.
No.
No such thing. Sex isn't inherently bad though it can make people have certain opinions about you.
No. I have no interest in sex.

Ofourkind · 2019-09-16T20:40:44+00:00

Are they beneficial or detrimental?

Depends entirely on the individual.

How long should they last?

Until that person decides that they're done. Some people might have a one night stand or two after a breakup or in college and be done. Some people live that way for decades.

Would you marry someone who had one? Would you want to know if your partner had one?

I did. Like me, my husband preferred long periods of being single between committed relationships. He wasn't a particularly scandalous ho or anything, but he had his fair share of partners.

How many partners is too many?

I dunno. I feel just fine with where I am at about 30. Could have been more or less and it wouldn't change anything for me.

For a committed partner, I care much more about his relationship history and what he's willing to do for me than number of partners.

Did you have one? How was it? What conclusions did you draw from it?

I mean I guess. I would stay single for months or years in between boyfriends. Sometimes I would date left and right, other times I would hermit the fuck out.

uniqueeleni · 2019-09-16T21:44:54+00:00

I think it really depends on the individual’s personality (including upbringing, religious beliefs, curiosity to try different things etc).
They should last for as long as the person is doing it because that’s what he/she wants and not out of habit or for things such as validation, avoiding commitment due to being afraid etc.
Yes and yes.
I can’t disclose a certain number; if the person is mentally and physically healthy I wouldn’t see anything wrong with having slept with even hundreds of people, if that’s what made them happy.
I guess I had, even though I always had lax views on sex. I am honestly glad that I had these experiences before getting in a committed relationship, because now I am not wondering “what else is out there”. (My best friend is dealing with this right now, after being for 4 years with someone- she is now 24).

I suppose what I learnt was that sexual compatibility and chemistry is something that can improve with time, but a certain “spark” has to be there. My hoe phase was after my first and before my second monogamous relationship; during my first relationship the sex sucked but I didn’t know any better (even though I did have some experience).

This time around I am much happier with my sex and romantic life and I think part of it is because of my hoe phase. I think many people would benefit from seeing sex in a little more casual light (especially those who wait to have sex after marriage) but I believe that the hoe phase is not for everyone; I think it could mentally scar some people.

Ant1matter8 · 2019-09-17T08:13:26+00:00

Hoe phase in women usually indicates mental issues as the reason of being a hoe in many times is connected to their self esteem , daddy issues and other unresolved trauma or need for validation.

Hoe phases for women are detrimental if they would be honest, if a chick hoed herself for 30 dudes and after all that shit she now wants to settle down and marry, she will 100% lie about her sexual past, she will need to because most men who will want to marry will not give her a second chance.

People must realize, in society female sexuality is shown as something sacred, it is how people judge woman value, many people will bitch and moan how unfair it is, sure but this is the reality of the situation so deal with it.

Amount of partners is only half a tell when it comes to spotting a hoe, it makes it easy for sure but usually you look at how they percieve sex (mindset), how fast they give it and what kind of sexual encounters they had.

We can have a girl who has had 3 sexual partners and all of them were long relationships

Then we have a girl who has had 4 sexual partners and 3 of them were one night stands with strangers. = hoe

If a girl tells you sex is just a physical action and that woomen should be allowed to fuck anyone , that is a huge sign of a covert hoe, hoes hide the obvious (sexual past) but they are too stupid to hide their mindset that CAN be linked to being a hoe.

lizziebordensbae · 2019-09-17T11:24:27+00:00

I think it really depends on the person, their intent going into it, and how they choose to express said hoe phase.
Much like 1, I think it varies from person to person. Some people may be over it relatively quickly, while others may enjoy it enough to have a longer phase.
Yes and yes
The more of these I answer, I realize that almost all my answers can be summed up as “you do you”
I had two separate hoe phases. One did NOT go well. I was too young, and really didn’t have any sense of self or self esteem. I wasn’t doing it for myself, and it really sucked. The second one was way better. I was older, and actively engaged in ways that I knew would be beneficial to me. Plus, having a lot of my shit sorted out helped. Practicing safe sex also massively improved my home phase experience. I think for me it gave me time to figure out what I want and need in a relationship and to experiment. It also helped me explore my sexuality.
At least among my friends, home life, parents, trauma, etc. don’t seem to influence whether people have a hoe phase but more whether it’s a beneficial or detrimental experience.

dayoftheoctopus · 2019-09-17T16:14:08+00:00

Depends on the person. Someone who is really sensitive and introverted may end up having bad experiences. Others love the variety.
Long enough to have a good time. Short enough that sex doesn't start feeling banal.
I wouldn't marry anyone ... but if I were going to, this wouldn't affect me.
There isn't a "too many." If someone has uncontrollable compulsive behavior that's one thing but there isn't a moral cut-off as long as everyone involved were consenting adults.
Yup. It was amazing at times and empty at others. Conclusions - people are people ... they're shy, gentle, animalistic, impulsive, reserved, you name it. All of that personality diversity can be played out physically. And yes you can have real connections in a "hook up." Above all - there are lots of different kinds of sex ... you just need to figure out personally how you want to evolve over time.
I did not come from a broken home so wouldn't fit that. There have been a couple large surveys that showed that most Americans are kinkier than they let on. I think it's just a difference of those who "go for it" and those who are more reserved.

we-are-men-with-ven · 2019-09-16T20:22:49+00:00

Why would I care what he did when he was single? As long as he respected those women he banged then idgaf.

People sleep around when they're single, that's normal and healthy - the people on this sub need to get with the times.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-09-16T19:38:45+00:00

1) Depends on the person. Some people can have lots of sex without feeling drained emotionally

2) See above

3) Hypothetically, yeah. But I was always drawn to inexperienced guys. I'm a hypocrite, sure. But my husband is a fat guy attracted to skinny girls. Humans can be hypocrites when it comes to attraction. I don't theoretically have anything against marrying a guy with a ton of past sexual partners. But I usually went after and dated guys with very little experience. I have a thing for nerdy awkward fat dudes. I ended up marrying a guy with only one past partner. But don't believe I would have been put off if he'd had many partners.

4) See Answer 1

5) I had a promiscuous phase. For me, it was very unhealthy. I do not claim to be representative of all women. I wasn't doing it because I was some sex-positive empowered woman. I was recovering from severe trauma and seeking validation and distraction through male attention.

I only drew conclusions about myself. That I was meant for a monogamous stable LTR, not a slew of random hook-ups.

FatmanSlim93 · 2019-09-16T20:00:30+00:00

What are your thoughts on hoe phases for men and women?

There is a hoe phase for almost all women, but unless the man work for years (or even decades) on it, he may never experience the equivalent success the average woman receives. Let alone a hoe. One has to come to terms that a man can never get the same hoe levels as women.

Are they beneficial or detrimental?

Beneficial in some aspects such as experience and social interaction.

Detrimental in bonding and in cynicism.

How long should they last?

Women's? I debatably would say less than a year, but normally it takes a decade.

Men's? I debatably would say less than a decade, but normally it takes some years.

Would you marry someone who had one?

Yes, There is no other option available. Unless I try some mortally obese women who were so their entire lives.

Would you want to know if your partner had one?

I have no doubt they had it. There isn't a single woman who didn't. (at least close to my age, maybe some 80 years old in the countryside)

How many partners is too many?

Above 50. But again, I live in a different culture.

Did you have one?

yes.

How was it?

Awesome but a waste of resources. Now that my hormones finally are starting to subside I see I should have used my resources in more productive endeavors like leaving this country and achieving more money.

I didn't expect my desire to subside that much. Well, Everyone is young.

What conclusions did you draw from it?

Humans are monkeys with oversized heads. We are too swayed by hormones. I wish I was more rational back in the day.

wtknight · 2019-09-16T22:02:21+00:00

Are they beneficial or detrimental?

I'm not sure. Women try to say that they have even higher standards for the men who they have relationships with than the ones who they have casual sex with, but I'm not convinced that this is true for the average looking ones. I'm also unsure about whether "hoe phase" is addictive or not and whether it affects pair bonding. For some people I think it does, while for others it doesn't seem to. It really depends upon the person. I don't think hoe phase is ever beneficial, though.

How long should they last?

Ideally they shouldn't exist, in my opinion. But not everyone sees the world the same way that I do.

Would you marry someone who had one? Would you want to know if your partner had one?

No to the first question. Yes to the second one.

How many partners is too many?

Having casual sex more than once is one time too many for me. It's not about number of partners per se.

Did you have one? How was it? What conclusions did you draw from it?

No. I tried to have casual sex once and couldn't perform because I had no feelings for the person. We did some other sexual things though that didn't involve PIV and I guess that it was okay overall but it's not something that I would ever want or need to do again.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-09-16T19:46:53+00:00

1 - It depends on whether the person is being safe and slutty, or engaging in poor decision making/risk taking behaviors.

2 - Again, it depends on the person and their particular needs.

3 - At my age, I just assume everyone has had them.

4 - 50? 100? I don't know.

5 - Yes, after a bad breakup and a 3-4 year self imposed celibacy, I slept with roughly 5 people in a 2-year period. It boosted my self confidence and affirmed that I was still a desirable woman despite being 40 and frumpy. Then I met my partner, committed to him, and we're basically content with each other's company and I don't need validation from others. If this one doesn't last, I'm packing it in, buying a remote alpaca farm, and rescuing animals.

Title	Hoe Phase
Author	_Neon_Shadow_
Upvotes	1
Comments	69
Date	September 16, 2019 7:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d55ayu/hoe_phase/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/hoe-phase.253854 https://theredarchive.com/post/253854

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