Girlfriend going on month long trip

Ghost_Ghoul_Guy · 2014-12-04T17:13:29+00:00

Wow, some terrible advice on here.

Don't break up with her, that's stupid--as you pointed out it's only a month. Here's the fact of the matter though, you can't really do anything about what she will or will not do over there. Your best move is to not lay down any boundary other then what should be already established, "if you cheat on me, then relationship is over. No exceptions".

If you skype her too often or get pouty and angry with her then all that will do is make her think you are a desperate and jealous guy and maybe she can find someone better while shes away. Of course, being in a different continent and the temptation of risk-free cheating is something that might just happen. The best chance of mitigating that is being someone who has enough quality that she doesn't have that temptation (because she's infatuated with how great you are) or she resists temptation because she doesn't want to run the risk of letting a catch slip by her.

That's pretty much it; there are no tricks to it, you just have to be someone it's not worth cheating on (and even then there are no guarantees).

tombreck2 · 2014-12-04T16:45:11+00:00

You are the prize.

You need to ask yourself if she's thinking this in mirror mode: "He's going to be by himself for a month. He's got this going on and this and this and girls like him because of this. Oh I'm so nervous about leaving him alone." It sounds like that may be the case since she wants to sort of keep tabs on you by Skyping.

It also sounds like you're ONEITIS pretty hard and would benefit from getting some serious tail while she's gone.

EuphoricWizard · 2014-12-04T20:36:43+00:00

Dating a girl who cares about her club status is already a lose. Relationship is bound to fail and she will probably cheat.

newmeforever · 2014-12-04T17:58:36+00:00

Honestly man,

I would just to tell her that you hope she has a great time being back at home. And that you can't wait for her to return. No being jealous, no being insecure, don't set any boundaries. She will respect it and resist temptations for sure. It's only a month. And you should probably only skype once a week or less. Make her miss you.

just my 2 c

EDIT: oh and pics please, I want to see a 8-9/10 chinese girl.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-12-05T00:39:01+00:00

OP: You do not have an LTR. One fucking month does not make it "long term". Not only that, she is leaving when she is done studying, and has a bf back "home". You guys are a fling, or FWBs at best, nothing else. You will never be anything BUT FWBs. She is cheating with you on her BF back home. She will cheat on you when it's convenient.

Don't be an idiot.

Lewis_H · 2014-12-04T18:15:26+00:00

I don't post much here but the advice in here for the most part is terrible. If you break up with her in anyway all you are doing is showing your insecurity. Let her keep tabs on YOU not the other way around. Just tell her to enjoy her time there and that's really it. If she comes back and tells you she cheated on you then it's on to the next one. Simple.

Think with your head and not your dick.

TRPsubmitter · 2014-12-05T02:28:12+00:00

Dude...as someone who is an expert in dealing with Asian girls...let me tell you right now, the ones who speak English, lived overseas and like to party...they cheat all the time.

You should expect her to cheat on you. I know lots of party promoters and club Korean girls here in Korea. They are status seekers and hook up with guys in VIP sections to get free drinks all the time.

You should just enjoy her for what she is...a pretty hot girl who you have while she's with you. This is why LTRs are overrated as well. Ask yourself, why do you want a LTR with this girl?

Just enjoy it and don't talk about extracurriculars. She is one of your prime plates and you invest more in her than normal...but always look out for more. Because I guarantee you she is looking out for more as well. You are a fool if you think she is not at least passively open to higher status men.

Plus, your story of you getting butthurt about her getting hit on in clubs proves this. She enjoys it and that is not the type of girl you want to invest emotionally in.

TL;DR don't break up. just continue sailing the ship as it is now. No pressure. No butthurt. You can say you don't want her talking to guys...but she will. She is NOT going to go to clubs and then refuse to reply verbally when inevitably guys start talking to her. So accept that. You have zero control of it while she's in China. In the meantime, find some other plates while she's away and enjoy being a sexually attractive man.

tombreck2 · 2014-12-04T17:00:02+00:00

I should lay down some boundaries

The only boundary you can lay down is to say "Let's take a break while you're gone".

Saying "don't cheat on me" is a beta thing to do and she is going to cheat on you if she wants regardless of whether or not you lay "boundaries".

last_to_know · 2014-12-04T19:28:28+00:00

Here's great advice. Post questions like this to r/askTRP

Other than that....quit being a whiny bitch. Stop caring. If she is going away for a month, don't sit in your Moms basement and sulk. Get out and get laid by some strange. Assume that she will do the same. Don't get jealous. Don't set rules for her. Don't contact her all the time like a needy bitch either. Sometimes be too busy for her because you are a man and have shit to do. It's only 4 weeks. Maybe Skype with her a couple times a week but this is time that you should be hitting the gym and lifting heavy shit so when she comes back she knows what she missed. Hell, Rocky had about a month to train to face Drago. Yes it is fake but the Russia training scenes were badass haha.

You need to let go of the Disney fantasy that she is only yours. That is the lie that you have been fed. No longer are women loyal like that. Treat her like a friend that you are fucking. No big deal. Now if she comes back and you are still friends but not fucking, then NEXT her ass. But if she comes back and you been hitting the gym and updated your wardrobe, and she is like "OMG, I so want you deep in my guts", then carry on and beat that shit up like an animal. Stop worrying. That's for women. You are a man and know what you are doing and what your future will look like.

CrazyHorseInvincible · 2014-12-04T20:50:20+00:00

Normally I would remove this for resubmission to asktrp. But I think there is some generally-useful discussion here. I'm going to leave it.

sheds82 · 2014-12-04T18:51:12+00:00

You seem oneitis, fuck while she's gone.

Don't set boundaries. That's beta.

ol_durrrty · 2014-12-05T00:17:55+00:00

I'd recommend reading this:

http://therationalmale.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/

Essentially it's the same thing. Demonstrating you are of higher value than she is regardless of the length of time. More importantly trust your gut. If you feel something if off or wrong when she comes back more often than not you're probably right. We spin our own logic to make sense of it but don't listen to the bullshit your mind spews out.

DreamBoatGuy25 · 2014-12-07T03:48:07+00:00

What in the fuck are you doing GF'ing a club girl anyway? You don't GF club girls. They are born to be plates.

Goddamn.

foldpak111 · 2014-12-04T21:23:26+00:00

You lost her the moment you got too drunk. Happened to my dad last year. She's been with other guys and will definitely hookup with more while she's gone. Start over with a new girl.

BrunoOh · 2014-12-04T16:42:36+00:00

Ldrs never work. No sex means no intimacy means there's no real relationship.

primordialbeast85 · 2014-12-04T19:44:05+00:00

This is a lose lose situation. You can't tell your girlfriend " no cheating please ". And you are bound to be insecure. You can't break up with her because it is only a month long. Rough spot. Only option in a perfect world is to go on vacation for a month yourself. Even then she has the moral high ground, because she's going to visit family.

The only real question is, if this is your real girlfriend then why aren't you going with her? Maybe you are too young and its not that serious, which if that's the case, who cares?

zareason · 2014-12-04T17:55:27+00:00

Tell her that you're also going to go have fun with your friends.

Dread game maybe.

JackGoldsteinWrites · 2014-12-04T19:45:23+00:00

"Have fun, babe."

The rest will come from your inner game (especially the mentality of abundance).

prodigyx · 2014-12-04T20:38:23+00:00

My former LTR of 3 years went to China for 4 months to study. She cheated on me while she was there and broke up with me when she came back.

My only advice is to be prepared for what could happen. You can't stop her from doing whatever she wants to do.

BlackHeart89 · 2014-12-05T15:36:48+00:00

Since its China, I don't know how they get down. From what I've read in the comments in TRP, the women in china are more conservative... Everyone is.

But in general, I wouldn't LTR anyone who regularly goes out of town for extended periods of time like this. But since you're already in it, its simple. Do you trust her?

Basically, make sure you HOLD FRAME and act as if she never left. From there, if she's trustworthy, she won't cheat. I mean unless you're always paying for shit, I don't see why she would AF/BB you unless she's a slut. And in which case, its not AF/BB. She's just a slut.

unagiboy · 2014-12-05T19:28:37+00:00

Speaking as someone who's lived there for years, you should prepare yourself for the significant possibility that this woman has a sugar daddy back home - hot Chinese girls into the club scene face huge pressure to nail down an apartment, a car, and a living allowance while they still have market value -- up to about 24. The rat race is so competitive that it's hard for non-Chinese people to understand the choices she faces. Apartments are crazy expensive and salaries are low. The corrupt elite locked up all the wealth two decades ago. She may be obligated to care for her parents in old age. As a result, most hot Chinese girls are seeing multiple guys seeing who they can hook first. Unless she comes from a high-end background where she doesn't need to worry about money at all, there's a very high chance she'll cheat. Alternately, if she came from a traditional family with well educated parents, she also wouldn't cheat, but then she probably wouldn't be dating you and she certainly wouldn't be a club girl. Good luck!

itsridicuuulous · 2014-12-07T09:50:59+00:00

Having partied in Nanjing, getting free drinks in China is nothing special. Especially if your a chick. Yes, she will get hit on. If you are a foreigner though she will most probably be bragging to her friends about the laowai she bagged. Yes this is generalizing.

Seuguh · 2014-12-11T01:53:03+00:00

" She's also expressed to me that she doesn't want me talking to any other girls while she's gone and asked me if there was anything in particular I didn't want her doing in China. She also wants to make sure we Skype often while she's gone".

In other words, "Be a good beta boy and wait for me with your tail between your legs. Also, report to me often so I can confirm that you're being a good beta boy. Oh, and while we're at it, is there any insecurities you want to let out before I go do whatever the fuck I'm going to do anyway in China??".

Work on improving your SMV through the christmas break. You better go up in weights, get a few new clothes, and DEFINITELY hang with other girls. Don't do anything stupid, off course, but hang with other chicks for sure.

If she tells you not to do something like hang with other chicks, you best believe she has a trick or two up her sleeve. She's hot, knows bartenders, club promoters, gets free drinks, is popular, and has male friends???? You're a man, my friend. Do the logical thinking. You're walking on a tight rope. You better work on your balance and maintain good footing, and not worry about the rope. It's always going to be a tight rope, and it might even break... So, work on what you can control, and that's yourself.

ilovemagicmush · 2014-12-04T20:48:23+00:00

Here's what I would do

Just let her go, trust her as your gf. In the mean time, go out with your friends, feel free to be flirty with girls, but don't do anything to break her trust with you (ie, dont cheat on her). This will give you a chance to gain back some self-esteem by working on your game!

Just have fun with other guys/girls but stay faithful

It's only a month

tits_out_forTheBoys · 2014-12-04T16:53:48+00:00

You should make the mature decision to break up with her and re-enter the dating market.

You can't date invisible people.

kingofpoplives · 2014-12-04T19:41:48+00:00

I am currently in a month long LTR

LOL a month. I'm sure things must be extremely serious.

I know somewhere deep down, she secretly enjoys the attention and validation she receives as AWALT.

"secretly" -- you kids crack me up.

What should I do in a situation like this?

I strongly recommend a don't ask don't tell policy. Really, you just need to accept that if she meets a hot enough guy that something could happen and there isn't anything you can do to stop that.

So don't act like you're afraid. Don't beg her to skype every day. It's a great chance to use some dread and make her think that you are the one who may or may not be cheating.

Then assuming nothing terrible happens, resume the relationship as before when she gets back.

WhiteBlackNight · 2014-12-05T02:04:41+00:00

I don't mean to sound racist but If you are above 5'10 and white, then no need to worry bro.

From my experience, Asian girls seem to be more status oriented than other girls and as such for a significant proportion of them (from my experience particularly Vietnamese and Chinese girls), having a 'tall White' and 'Western' boyfriend is something of a status symbol. Something she will probably brag about and show pictures of you two together to get the other girls jealous, especially if you are handsome/attractive.

You really shouldn't let it bother you. Tell her to have fun, ask about her parents and show some backbone not this insecure shizzle.

My advice to you would be three fold; 1) Before she leaves take her out and show her an amazing time. Always remember that you are the Prize, demonstrate that to her and give her an awesome fucking (at least 2 orgasms), the kind where she can't walk straight and is left shaking with pleasure when you're done.

2) When you do Skype ask her about her friends, remember their names and when possible talk to one/a few of them. If possible become friendly with them i.e. the girls in particular and make them laugh. Because when you're not there they are going to be the ones asking her and talking to her about you (I call this trumpeting).

3) Spend some time on r/AsianMasculinity, its got some good advice on Asian girls.

Good luck bro and all the best.

WhiteBlackNight - Long time reader, first time poster.

akaipill · 2014-12-04T18:01:41+00:00

The only way I'd let my girl go on a month long trip without me if it was to visit her family. Your gf is doing exactly that.

Also, she's going to China, no need to worry.

You should be more worried if she was going to Australia or South America.

Dig_Dlack_Bick · 2014-12-04T17:29:29+00:00

Chinese are too big of cucks to make moves. She already has her prized white man, you are fine

CastratedBetaOrbiter · 2014-12-04T17:04:08+00:00

Relevant: Is she Chinese or white? Are you Asian or white?

If she is Chinese and you are Asian, you should worry, she will get hit on a LOT.

If she is white, don't worry, Chinese guys are too scared to approach white girls in general.

If she is Chinese and you are white, don't worry she won't leave you for the average Chinese guy, unless he's a multi-millionaire. Then you're fucked.

Fhqwghads · 2014-12-05T00:45:15+00:00

a month long LTR

I don't even...

Anyway... You've already got loads of advice here, some good, some not great, but I'll throw in my take:

She'll be gone for as long as you guys have been together. I don't think you need to "break up", but you definitely shouldn't feel tied down to a chick who isn't going to be there, and I wouldn't stand for a chick trying to tell me I'm not allowed to talk to girls while she's gone. I guarantee she'll be talking to guys because:

she secretly enjoys the attention and validation she receives as AWALT.

Given the age of the relationship, and the length of time she'll be gone, if it were me, I would keep up the Skype but the moment she's out the door I would consider myself unattached.

Sandkasten · 2014-12-05T11:10:51+00:00

My two cents:

Most of her friends back at home (both guys and girls) spend much of their socializing and hanging out at night clubs. From the stories she's told me from the past, she is relatively high status in the scene. She is friends with the DJs, club managers etc. and often gets hooked up with free drinks and such.

This tells me she and her friends are really well off. Her clique is probably westernized. There are only two groups partying in clubs in China, rich Chinese people and westerners. This is what I have experienced.

My main concern is that as a very attractive girl (8-9/10), she will get hit on ALOT. I've witnessed this before when we've gone to clubs together and has been the cause of a few disputes mainly due to me being too drunk to hold frame and not be butthurt about it. Since then, I've recovered frame. She tells guys she has a boyfriend but I know somewhere deep down, she secretly enjoys the attention and validation she receives as AWALT.

I've met a few Chinese girls like your girlfriend. I can assure you she'll get hit on ALOT in China as well. She'll be surrounded by rich guys hitting on her. She'll be surrounded by westerners hitting on her. These rich kids love to party with westerners.

I agree with the advice of u/Ghost_Ghoul_Guy. Don't break up. Don't set any boundaries. There is nothing you can do. Let things take their natural course! But I want to add that the possibility that she'll cheat on you is not negligible. Be pragmatic.

Title	Girlfriend going on month long trip
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	21
Comments	83
Date	December 4, 2014 4:39 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2o9spb/girlfriend_going_on_month_long_trip/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/girlfriend-going-on-month-long-trip.25783 https://theredarchive.com/post/25783

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