acting like boyfriend material before you have sex almost guarantees failure

ImnotTHATdrunk · 2014-12-05T22:38:04+00:00

This is the male version of "why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free" referring to why LTR a girl who will fuck you without committing.

Remember, women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to commitment. If you give her all the gushy "boyfriend material" crap before she fucks you, why in the hell would she fuck you?!

Don't give up the power, ever, but especially before you have sex.

elite5472 · 2014-12-05T17:10:41+00:00

When doing ANYTHING for a woman that isn't your LTR, first ask yourself:

"Would I do this for a random dude I just met?"

If the answer is no, then forget about it. There's always exceptions to being kind, and those very much always fall under the "I would do this for a guy too" category. Another might be simply solving a problem so trivial to you that the work involved can be written off.

ASBOlutely · 2014-12-05T15:58:36+00:00

Focus on showing her that you have a good job

This. I have a plate going strong for 9 months and she still doesn't know what I do or where I work

GayLubeOil · 2014-12-05T17:44:10+00:00

Women are like Russia. You either invade them in a month or you're never going to get anywhere.

needless_pickup_line · 2014-12-05T20:18:27+00:00

When you are "good for someone", it's like you're a medicine, or health food. People don't like medicine or health food. They take them because they have to, not because they want to.

When your selling point is I'm a "good boyfriend", this is what's happening, and it's not sexy at all.

This is also why people seems to think douchbags/assholes/jerks get the chicks. Because they are like booze or narcotics. They are bad for you, but guess what, you want them anyway, despite all the bad they could cause.

I'm not advocating being an asshole or engage in intentionally destructive behavior. The point is be "good" if you want to, it's your choice, just don't expect it to be a proper selling point. It will NEVER be the reason a chick would want anything romantic with you. Women will flip out say no way! I want good men. They are actually telling the truth. Who in their right minds would not want "good"? Except they fail to mention the good has to come with an additional unsaid qualification -- it can't just cure cancer, it has to taste like cocaine as well. Cocaine is the primary requirment and "goes without saying". Once you have that, the ability to cure cancer is what "they are after". So men that don't understand women-speak will try to cure cancer and then wonder what happened.

Don't give women anything they haven't earned. Having a hot ass does not equate to earning anything. elite5472 is right... think of this chick as a dude, don't do anything for her that you would do for a dude.

surgeon_general · 2014-12-05T22:16:58+00:00

Time for some introspection: Unless you are looking to get married why the fuck are you monogamous with your relationships?

If you don't want babies or to get married, stop dating women; plate them. Spinning a plate is cheaper, there's typically more sex and you don't lose out on a serious emotional investment when you need to walk or she does.

If you are looking to get married, the girls the OPs advice works on are not for you, those women are sluts, what OP describes is how to plate a woman.

If you do want to get married and start a family don't shoot yourself in the foot by picking some chick that's more likely to divorce you than stay married to you.

Only ever wife a virgin, here are some studies, you want more google the names of the researchers and years of the studies:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/premarital-sex-and-divorce.aspx This conservative foundation Collated these for me and is just convenient, read what they wrote if you feel like it.

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html This Blog compares the Teachman study data to Heritage study tables and they match up, he also expounds on the data.

Don't wife a slut, science shows us that 1 dick before you is practically flipping a coin for half your shit over the next 18+ years, whereas a picking a virgin is pretty much rolling a D10 where only one side puts your feet to the fire. Premarital sex with someone who wont be her spouse puts her at 48% divorce rate, each partner ads between 2-4% to that figure, if you fuck her then marry her it's still below 20% divorce rate but if she is a virgin at marriage it's between 9-11% divorce rate.

NeedRPadvice · 2014-12-05T19:09:08+00:00

I always say "Dont treat women like your girlfriend unless they are your girlfriend"

If not it's like going into a negotiation with all your cards layed out on the table. You volunteered all of this for nothing in return.

dicklord_airplane · 2014-12-05T18:15:45+00:00

thanks for the refresher. i have to remind myself of this constantly. that urge to be overly nice and lovey dovey and all that is very strong when I start seeing someone, and it always kills attraction. like most dudes, i was taught to be this way, and it takes concentration and vigilance to undo all that programming.

2014-12-05T16:24:19+00:00

That list punches a one way ticket to Friendzoneville if you haven't already been boning for a while. And that is one deep hole to dig out of.

Zanford · 2014-12-05T17:58:34+00:00

The best sex and behavior I've gotten from girls has been from girls who later confessed 'I never knew how much you really liked me / I didn't think you would stay around / etc.'

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-12-05T17:03:17+00:00

Those last 3 were LTR destroyers to me. Only do that shit after 30 years of marriage.

foldpak111 · 2014-12-05T18:29:17+00:00

I remember doing this to a girl last year. She had a one night stand with a thug at a house party that never called her back.

TurgidMeatWand · 2014-12-05T22:43:14+00:00

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Moolg86 · 2014-12-05T17:29:22+00:00

used to be really guilty of quite a few of these. the shame is overwhelming. brilliant post.

2014-12-05T21:10:35+00:00

This is the biggest problem I've discovered with online dating. Most chicks won't even meet up without discussing at least one or two of these points. /sigh I wish my area's single scene wasn't full of baby mamas looking for a meal ticket...

ohboyahuman · 2014-12-06T02:18:00+00:00

Shit. I totally did 2, 5, and 8 on my date last night. It went well, but It didn't feel optimal, and I wasn't even a little bit sure why until now. Quality post, right here.

Aaron0wnz · 2014-12-06T03:25:56+00:00

You put much emphasis on not doing these things BEFORE you get laid. Let's say you do none of these things, get laid, and want to keep the girl around to continue getting laid. Do doing these things hand over the "power" or have you already attained all the power you need by this point? I ask because I kind of didn't do any of those things and didn't text the girl much. Now she seems to have lost some interest. I don't want to come off as needy though, but I do like getting laid.

2014-12-05T17:58:02+00:00

Would you respect a girl who spread her legs for you five minutes after saying hi? Being a high-value man means she's the one putting your commitment on a pedestal, hence the "gatekeepers" analogy you hear in the manosphere.

swaggertank · 2014-12-05T21:07:25+00:00

Agreed but even showing the boyfriend behavior after you've had sex will make her loose interest.

2014-12-05T23:57:57+00:00

Funny..as a married man who found red pill I have been REVOKING this whole list and we are getting along better then ever

agumonkey · 2014-12-05T19:33:14+00:00

I did all this in the opposite order. Guaranteed failure. Even though you do everything she'll want later on. Skipping beats....

gimmieareason · 2014-12-05T20:55:19+00:00

Its funny how many times you said "too much."

That pretty much goes without saying, too much is too much, that's why its called too much. So essentially just do less of those things and you'll be good... That's what I'm getting from this

StevenBassic · 2014-12-05T21:06:32+00:00

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2014-12-05T21:58:26+00:00

^ I would give this post 5 upvotes if I could.

bullshit field report: Have done this MANY times before i knew better. I am actually very fucking good at building rapport/comfort because of all that practice. Actually comes in handy sometimes nowadays. I am basically never afraid of teasing/flirting too much because I know I can always recover by building more comfort/rapport. For years its all I knew how to do.

Ended up with a lot of close female friends, never got laid till I realized the error of my ways.

sr20inans2000 · 2014-12-06T00:48:50+00:00

i've always tried to listen to them and not talk about myself much, be funny, be attractive, but be firm in who you are your ways of doing things. i have a strong personality but i feel like all this well thought out theory is just going to give too much to think about and not get laid. I've never had a problem in my life getting decent girls. thoughts?

cocaine_face · 2014-12-06T04:36:11+00:00

My only disagreement with you is that you say you probably have to do these things when you're dating her for a year.

I'm not too sure about that.

TekkomanKingz · 2014-12-05T18:09:47+00:00

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bsutansalt · 2014-12-06T06:22:00+00:00

Look up Patrice's advice on being a Time Ho.

runnerrun2 · 2014-12-05T18:25:54+00:00

I don't disagree with your list or your point but how is any of this boyfriend behavior?

Respecting her too much to make a move.

Oris_Mador · 2014-12-06T03:27:39+00:00

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SuperSlavisWife · 2014-12-05T20:25:19+00:00

Some of these things (whilst I don't disagree with them), make me wonder why they didn't apply to me. Some things apply or don't apply for obvious reasons, but...

We met and started out as online friends. Commonalities and rapport were 100% of our relationship for a very long time and most of what attracted me to him.
He didn't do that, but he mentioned he was in science which I viewed as impressive (I'm not very good with numbers and never fully understood the hard sciences) and complementary to my inclinations to languages, art and words.
N/A. I prefer complete solitude to drama and hadn't really dated more seriously than the teenage "status boyfriends".
He was doing a MGTOW style thing. I confessed my interest first. I explained my reasons for waiting. Let's just say that after mutual agreement it was nearly a year between first talking and losing my virginity to him.
We both were prepared to financially invest in the other from the start of dating. Never a lot but neither of us ever desired a lot.
I don't vent and rarely rant. He helped me solve a number of serious problems and guided me through hard times.
N/A. We got along fine from the start and still do nearing four years into the relationship.
We talked constantly from when we exchanged emails. Still talk as constantly as we can (change in jobs = less mobile time).

Yet he is the only person I am loyal to, one of the few people I deeply respect, admire and care for, the only man to keep my attention for over an hour of interaction, the only human to not bore or annoy me after a couple of months of living together (or even talking, with most people), the only man I've wanted sex with and the only man I've had sex with. Which makes me wonder what's the big difference between me and other girls my age. Because your list is evidently true, but... why?

Title	acting like boyfriend material before you have sex almost guarantees failure
Author	StevenBassic
Upvotes	401
Comments	111
Date	December 5, 2014 3:47 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2oddjx/acting_like_boyfriend_material_before_you_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/acting-like-boyfriend-material-before-you-have-sex.25845 https://theredarchive.com/post/25845

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