Q4Men: If a woman keeps talking to you and flirting with you, at what point do you ask her out? More inside.

Omelas74 · 2018-11-06T22:18:44+00:00

invites you to go with her to a couple events.

???

You want to know how to ask a girl out AFTER she has already asked you out?

CainPrice · 2018-11-06T21:26:16+00:00

The first time the two of you speak, second tops. Assuming you're interested.

If you're interested in a girl and you have a decent conversation for 10-15 minutes, and she seems nice, you should make your intentions known immediately. Tell her that she seems nice and you'd love to get a drink sometime. Ask for her number then. That's her chance to tell you she's not interested, tell you she's seeing somebody, or to give you her number because she wants to date and/or have sex. Assuming she gives you her number, set a date within the next week.

If you don't make your intentions known early, maybe by the second meeting if the first was kind of fast and there wasn't a good opportunity to trade numbers, she's going to think you're not interested. Or she'll think you just want to be friends and any continued perceived interest from her is just her being friendly from that point on.

Make your intentions known early with women. That's what normal guys do. The idea that you have to get to know a woman over a long period of time before going out on your first date is silly. Trying to go that route will signal to her that you're not romantically or sexually interested. Then, she'll be unpleasantly surprised when you finally get around to asking her out.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-11-06T21:42:11+00:00

How long does it take for you to show interest back?

Depends how obvious shes being

chuck23y · 2018-11-06T21:28:06+00:00

For me, I've recently met with an amazing woman, we had several meetings(not dates). Always smiling, IOIs, touchy, sending me her favourite songs, quotes, pics online. I totally thought she was into me. Once I went for a kiss. She asked why, I told her all these things. "Yes I'm kinda into you, but I'm not ready for anything." Since then I'm hopeless with signs...

KeffirLime · 2018-11-07T07:09:56+00:00

I'd wait for months, possibly years.

I'll go along with her invites, fuck other women in the meanwhile. I'll use her for emotional support. Do all the things I would with a partner but in a non sexual way, I assume she'll be paying for most of this.

When she finally musters up the courage to tell me she loves me I'll tell her I thought we were just friends.

PhoenixMDL · 2018-11-06T21:53:50+00:00

If by ask her out you mean give her the “we gon fuk or na” look, 5 minutes.

TriadFamilyTimes · 2018-11-06T22:15:35+00:00

I am genuinely oblivious enough that if I am not interested in a girl and she's flirting I don't notice. I never notice unless I'm interested back and my ADHD mind has a reason to focus on and look for indicators of interest. I have been told I was being hit on many times to my complete surprise.

MCMTI · 2018-11-07T02:14:00+00:00

Ok hold on....

You just said she's interested and you are waiting for the right time. Either you are seriously afraid of rejection or not that into her. If you aren't that into her why are you even asking. If you are afraid of rejection people get rejected...it happens. Don't hold onto it.

What do you want?

whitetrashcarl · 2018-11-06T23:28:42+00:00

Depends if I’m interested or not. Honestly my happiest relationship I ever had was with a girl who was like a 5-6 but she just had the greatest energy. I slept with her the first night I met her, we just sorta hit it off right away. And then from there it grew into a relationship over time.

blackedoutfast · 2018-11-06T22:50:16+00:00

how do i know her? coworker, same social circles, just some random chick who lives in the same neighborhood that i run into at local bars?

if she thinks she's 5-6/10, that means she's probably 5/10 at best. which means at most i might pump and dump her one night if i run into her when i'm drunk and don't have anything else lined up. assuming she's just a rando.

if she's a coworker or in the same social circles, i'll just pretend to not notice her IOIs and try not to lead her on. basically friendzone her. not worth the potential drama. may go to the events with her depending on the details, maybe not.

there are enough solid 6s and 7s who show this level of interest that i'm not going to make much effort or risk social/work repurcussions going after a 5-6.

ianlittle2000 · 2018-11-06T23:11:18+00:00

Never. And it's not because of her /10 rating (arguably a 5-6/10 is a few points above me).

Million-Suns · 2018-11-06T21:30:24+00:00

Do you let it drag on?

Nope.

How do you reject her?

Directly and bluntly. Best way to respect both our times is not losing it in BS mind games.

How long does it take for you to show interest back?

As soon as identified. Some women send subliminal IoIs and think they made their message clear. Most of us are not mind readers. That's why some of them think we did let things drag on whereas we had no clue there was romantical interest.

And like I said as soon as identified. No BS mind games unless you're a red piller who wants to keep her as a future plate.

[deleted] · 2018-11-07T07:38:08+00:00

I ask her out after my penis has been inside of her.

KerPop42 · 2018-11-06T21:45:12+00:00

First of all, draw it out as long as she doesn't seem to be getting discouraged. You can't move to an earlier state in your relationship, so don't move forward too much. And I actually went on something like 10 "dates," at least, with my current partner before we asked ourselves if we were de facto dating.

I probably wouldn't draw a strict line in it. I'd ask if she wanted to do something one-on-one, then if she said yes and enjoyed it, if she wanted to do something more regular. Then, if she said yes, invite her to something at like my place, like an anime or movie or video or board game. Then, after that for a bit, ask if she wants to do something more. Essentially, make it so that each step of friendship was a comfortable place to fall back to if she didn't want to move forward.

Barely-moral · 2018-11-07T01:10:14+00:00

If I am interested in her and I notice that she is interested in me I see no point in waiting. I ask in the moment I see the IOI.

If I notice the IOI and I am not interested in her as a partner I would tell her as soon as I notice. I don't want to waste her time.

Now, the confusing scenario is if I notice the IOI and I am not sure how I feel about her. In that case I will have to try to know her more before making a decision.

That can take some time, depending on how open that woman is. The more open she is the less time I need to know her so I can know how I feel about her.

AlexCoventry · 2018-11-07T04:14:50+00:00

If you're not getting any interest from him given those signals, move on.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-11-07T05:40:16+00:00

I’d flirt back but never actually ask her out. So I’d drag it out until she lost interest.

hammerhaunts · 2018-11-06T21:28:55+00:00

I would ask her intentions probably 3 invites in

Eartherry · 2018-11-06T21:35:06+00:00

The best way is to not engage in the first place. Cut conversation short and find someone else to talk to. Don't stick around if they're close by. They'll forget all about you.

To reject them, say you don't see it going anywhere between the two of you. That's something women really care about. Indicate you have plans for your life that make the two of you incompatible.

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DoctorKnockboots · 2018-11-06T23:37:31+00:00

I will not ask unless I know the answer will be yes.

However many times this is.

AlwaysResist · 2018-11-07T02:17:56+00:00

nEVER

tallwheel · 2018-11-07T03:25:57+00:00

Do you let it drag on?

Sometimes. I often find such women amusing. I sit back and chuckle and wonder when she's going to get the clue that I'm not interested. If it goes on for too long, I guess maybe I would have to eventually say something, but usually they seem to figure it out on their own.

[deleted] · 2018-11-07T05:30:21+00:00

She talks to you every time you see her, smiles at you, gives Subtle IOI’s and invites you to go with her to a couple events.

I don't do subtlety. Be more blunt about it

Do you let it drag on?

May seem so, it's just that I didn't get the memo

How do you reject her

I'll be extremely blunt, and if I really don't like you, I might add some disgrace to it to ensure you stay away . Something along the line of: "You're not gonna find someone like me anytime soon, you know?" "Yeah, that's kind of the goal actually"

How long does it take for you to show interest back

Something between immediately and the night over, typically. You know the old adage, "The night bears advice" (or does it exist in English? Not important)

Edit: Mindgames like that are the biggest red flag for me and easily pisses me off

Mr_White119811 · 2018-11-07T07:27:46+00:00

A 5-6/10 woman pursues you.

Need more info. Is she a co-worker (not happening), is she a single mum (not happening.

She talks to you every time you see her, smiles at you, gives Subtle IOI’s and invites you to go with her to a couple events.

Need more info about her. Like how do I know her?

Do you let it drag on?

If Im interested I will take her up on her offer and take it from there.

How do you reject her?

I dont yet know if I will reject her. If I do, "No Im not interested because [insert reason here]". No BS like LJBF, if think she is fat I will tell her, if she is a single mum I will tell her I dont date single mums, etc.

How long does it take for you to show interest back?

If I find her attractive and there is nothing that I wont do on principle (ie single mum), then it will be straight the way.

This fantasy scenario needs a bit more fleshing out.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-11-07T09:06:27+00:00

If I'm interested in her, I'd take her out that very night. If I'm not, I'd probably start talking about my boyfriend. I prefer to address things pretty quickly.

HostileErectile · 2018-11-07T09:58:07+00:00

If she is a 5-6 then never. I would maybe sleep with her to a work party or something.

[deleted] · 2018-11-07T12:16:57+00:00

Depends I want to fuck this non pretty woman or not. But I would never ask her out just offer coming to my home and have a quikie.

abaxeron · 2018-11-07T12:26:19+00:00

A 5-6/10 woman pursues you.

Oh, we're talking hypothetical scenario in which 5-6/10s are not yet infected with unrealistic expectations.

Do you let it drag on? How do you reject her? How long does it take for you to show interest back?

It depends on a lot of stuff! There are as many types of 5-6/10 women as those women themselves. My response varies from "never" to "immediately".

messiahslave · 2018-11-07T14:27:10+00:00

I would assume she makes fun of me, ignore those "signs" and keep the things as they are : "quieta non movere" (don't move what is at peace) is more often than not the path to follow.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-11-07T19:53:00+00:00

A 5-6/10 woman pursues you

he doesnt like you. next

gasparddelanuit · 2018-11-08T16:14:56+00:00

If I am not attracted to her, I don't ask her out. I don't need to reject her unless she asks me out. Just being nice to me is not asking me out. If I am not interested in her in any capacity, I would just be cordial, as normal, but there is no reason for me to do anything other than that unless she makes an advance. If she did make an advance, I would try to let her down gently.

Title	Q4Men: If a woman keeps talking to you and flirting with you, at what point do you ask her out? More inside.
Author	TheMarbleSlab
Upvotes	25
Comments	73
Date	November 6, 2018 9:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9usict/q4men_if_a_woman_keeps_talking_to_you_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-if-a-woman-keeps-talking-to-you-and-flirting.259165 https://theredarchive.com/post/259165

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