In this day and age, is talking to women you don't know creepy? :/

Littleknownfacts · 2018-03-05T13:46:45+00:00

This is the second time you've posted almost the exact same thread. PPD isn't your personal cheer squad. We aren't here to stroke your ego or get you psyched. Approach, or don't. If you don't, someone else will.

alreadyredschool · 2018-03-05T13:27:58+00:00

sexual harassment

That just exists in the workspace.

You don't approach women because you don't want to make them uncomfortable. See who do you please here? Strangers who don't care about you.

You have 2 options - approach or don't approach.

The first makes these groups of people happy: You, your future partner, women who want you/who enjoy flirting/attention

The second makes these people not slightly uncomfortable: Everyone who doesn't give a flying fuck about you

As we can see here it's pretty balanced and everyone has to decide it for himself.

wtknight · 2018-03-05T13:50:07+00:00

It depends upon the circumstances. In a bar, no. On a dark street at night, yes.

BiggerDthanYou · 2018-03-05T18:12:39+00:00

Depends.

Is she smoking a cigarette outside of a bar? You can ask her if she's got a lighter and introduce yourself while offering thanks.

Is she walking alone at night and you have to catch up behind her? Nope

A lack of social awareness is usually what makes a situation creepy.

rulenumber303 · 2018-03-05T23:56:38+00:00

Well yeah, under most circumstances talking to people you don't know is creepy. Cities only work because people agree it is right to stay the heck out of each other's business most of the time. That way people who have something (money, a nice pair of shoes, a tight hot ass, a car, change in their pockets, a spare bedroom in their apartment etc) can go about their business relatively unbothered and have actual lives where they are allowed to walk down the street to go get coffee without the full weight of a hundred thousand people who want that thing descending on them to try to persuade them to give that money, hand over those shoes, provide the hot sex, find a dollar to help out a brother, put someone up for the night.

Most guys know this (even if they are reluctant to realise women feel it even more so) because they too have been approached by weirdos they know want something. Y'know when someone a bit "off" just comes up to you in the street and you work out they are on some sort of drugs and you're not sure whether you're going to be mugged or they are trying to sell you drugs or they are trying to make friends to leach resources off you over a longer timeframe? yeah that.

Incidentally, this is also why certain sorts of charity collecting jobs are shit jobs. Approaching random folks for money is kind of a transgression.

It is inherently creepy to approach a stranger in a city. Doing so requires skill, careful presentation and either careful opportunity appraisal and selection or the deliberate seeking out or creation of appropriate opportunity.

On the plus side, cities are full of many many people and many many activities that provide opportunity. Or you can move to a small town where "hey are you new in town... I'm Rob... I work at the fodder store over on Sullivan Street... seeya later sometime maybe at the pub on Friday night?" is a perfectly acceptable conversation.

TheVertex_ · 2018-03-05T16:34:00+00:00

It depends almost entirely on your looks. It's very difficult for a 9/10 male to be "creepy". He would need to be particularly deranged, like he kill puppies in his spare time. On the other hand, a 1-2/10 male is considered creepy for merely attempting to conversate with women.

Generally speaking (except for, again, extreme puppy-killing examples), "creepy" is a synonym women use for "ugly". The fact that creepiness is typically regarded as a behavioural trait allows them to avoid the implication that they are shallow. This is at the expense of the unattractive man, who is made to feel that he is doing something wrong when he really is not. In reality, he is not doing anything wrong. It is merely his existence as an unattractive male that bothers the woman.

So overall, you need to be realistic about your looks. Being 6'4 helps. You're not short; that's a big plus.

Artpop_ · 2018-03-05T13:28:16+00:00

It depends on the location, time and women on the reactions you’ll get.

bagoonga · 2018-03-05T13:53:10+00:00

I'm a socially awkward introvert and don't really approach women, but my experience has been it varies.

Like if you're at a bar for instance, some people go there just to talk to their friends, and some are more open to talking to people they meet there. I've had more women initiate conversations with me at bars than the other way around, but I'm also boring so it didn't go anywhere.

Initiating conversations hasn't really gone well for me, but the fact that women have gone up to me and spoken to me indicates to me that there are plenty of women who are comfortable with the same thing.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-03-05T16:03:09+00:00

The more awkward you are, the greater likelihood what you do might be seen as creepy.

[deleted] · 2018-03-05T17:02:13+00:00

It is possible because sometimes she will think you are creepy and you can't do anything to change that

Merger-Arbitrage · 2018-03-05T17:29:20+00:00

Women must not have gotten this memo, as some women I didn't know started talking to me on Friday night while I was out solo (wife was out with a friend).

If you're not socially or mentally retarded, dress & groom like this you should have no issues with avoiding being seen as a creep. If you're stuck in Bumfuck, Nowhere, this may not apply to you, sorry.

Wallstreet3 · 2018-03-05T20:53:44+00:00

Only if you are unattractive.

xtsv · 2018-03-09T09:58:32+00:00

Lol, unless you want a harassment charge Is stay away from women.

xtsv · 2018-03-05T14:04:37+00:00

Only if you're ugly/autistic.

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[deleted] · 2018-03-05T13:39:35+00:00

It depends. So, sometimes, yes. But if I feel that a woman wouldn't be averse to me starting a conversation or simply saying "Hello" then I'll usually do it. Having said that, I'll speak to almost anyone regardless of it being a woman or a man. And I'm also liable to having a few words with a dog that's going for a walk or a cat sitting on a wall.

Also, the other reply about dressing nice? - yeah, do that and do it for your own benefit, but it's true that it can create a positive impression on others.

blackedoutfast · 2018-03-05T15:18:01+00:00

Maybe it's just my shit self-image

it's definitely your shit self image

confusedwitdating · 2018-03-05T17:36:01+00:00

Yes.

newName543456 · 2018-03-05T23:40:24+00:00

Your height is good, get some ripped physique and what would be labelled as creepy as far as other guys are concerned, for you would be "cute personality quirks".

oceanicallyunbounded · 2018-03-06T06:34:22+00:00

I think you're looking at it the wrong way. An "approach" is creepy if it's a stranger with immediate, clear, sexual intentions. Think of it as "starting a conversation" instead of "approaching" and I think your creep problem will sort itself out pretty fast.

MickDash · 2018-03-06T01:24:56+00:00

There are three general rules to dating:

Don't walk around with a hard on
Don't walk around nude in public
Don't carry a butcher knife.

I developed these rules myself.

[deleted] · 2018-03-06T22:35:52+00:00

It's only creepy when she has given you no signs that she wants you to approach her. Otherwise, not at all.

owleyedgirl · 2018-03-07T03:46:23+00:00

Context is important here.

Are you talking to her at the club? Not creepy but be willing to accept a brush off as a permanent "no."

Are you talking to her at a bookstore? Keep it light, keep it friendly, don't hit on her, and accept the possibility that she might be a bit scared of you. (I met my current SO at a bookstore, so it's not utterly pointless.) If she's interested, she'll let you know.

Are you at some event that she can't escape and that you both frequent and can't leave (say, work, or "people within your friend group")? Keep it friendly, accept a brush-off as a no, and ask her out only if you think it's going to be worth it to risk upending your life for this girl.

Are you on public transit? Don't talk to her, bro.

MisterJose · 2018-03-07T05:24:27+00:00

In this day and age, maybe. But you know what? In this day, and at my age, I stopped really caring. If I'm never going to see her again, I should take a shot, and I know from experience I will regret not taking a shot. What other people think of that just can't be my problem, I have to pursue my happiness.

Priene · 2018-03-07T12:23:42+00:00

stop being fucking creepy and start approaching women, jesus. What is it with you guys and your low self-esteem and body issues? You kids cock-block yourselves, at least give women the chance to do it, develop a thick skin and go out and meet more women. PPD isn't your mother and it ain't your grandmother. You are a man. You are meant and born to approach women.

Women aren't attracted to men who are afraid of them lel, and you are 6'4'' as long as you aren't fat at least some girls will like you for being a giant.

ITHOUGHTYOUMENTWEAST · 2018-03-11T22:24:00+00:00

Cold approach has been and always will be one of the primary factors that bring men and women together. If you're not doing cold approach then you're either online dating (waste of time) or social circle (complete luck) or you're sitting at home doing nothing.

Nearly every woman I've slept with has been from cold approach, without going up and putting myself out there, I would still be a virgin.

1UPZ_ · 2018-03-12T10:05:01+00:00

depends, its not black and white.

if you act awkward or atleast she thinks you're acting weird then you're a creep.

best advise is act cool, dont be clingy, go with the flow... as in start a conversation based on what she can relate to at that time or point... no point asking someone what they had for breakfast in a gym (straight creepy question by the way)

willmt_apex · 2018-03-05T13:22:53+00:00

it can be for some women...no matter what you do if youre a stranger talking to them they will just think youre a creep. but when the approach is done well, there are women who welcome the attention.

e.g. a chubby asian like me. 5’8 who just made out with a russian girl tonight!

Dubslav_von_Chekem · 2018-03-05T17:01:44+00:00

If you're not given mushroom to be bold

Then make yourself a fungi

If she gives you a stare

Or plays with her hair

Then go on, approach with a smile

Title	In this day and age, is talking to women you don't know creepy? :/
Author	confusedwitdating
Upvotes	5
Comments	85
Date	March 5, 2018 1:20 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/825vbo/in_this_day_and_age_is_talking_to_women_you_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/in-this-day-and-age-is-talking-to-women-you-dont.263369 https://theredarchive.com/post/263369

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