Q4All: Is it a red flag or a green flag if somebody has no friends?

SirNemesis · 2016-10-28T00:52:05+00:00

Both. It's a red flag in that she may have a bad personality and that's why she doesn't have friends - I'd do further vetting to ascertain this. Also a green flag in that it would make for a stronger relationship when I'm her main friend and she mostly spends time with me, and she will also be less likely to cheat or trade up hypergamously, simply due to a lack of enticing options.

shoup88 · 2016-10-28T03:14:10+00:00

Total red flag for me. We'd be incompatible. An introvert with no friends would probably hate living with me. I love going out and meeting new people, and I need a partner who's comfortable with that. He doesn't need to come out all the time, but he needs to be sociable.

I'm a little suspicious of people with very few friends. They say they're content on their own, but I feel like eventually they just become too dependant/reliant on one person's company. I prefer multiple semi-superficial relationships - I don't want to be everything for one person, not even my romantic partner.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T00:41:12+00:00

Absolutely no friends at all? I'd wonder what the fuck is wrong with them that means no one wants to be friends at all. I fully understand introversion and liking alone time (in fact this is a plus in a partner for me) but absolutely no friends at all is a red flag for sure.

Purple here.

fiat_lux_ · 2016-10-28T01:52:53+00:00

Green flag if it's mostly just contentment and not some character flaw keeping others from liking her.

Advantages being less potential for drama. More controlled, predictable relationship.

Disadvantages being less social experiences and connections, but I have more than enough for the both of us.

FishingWithShoesOn · 2016-10-28T02:06:34+00:00

Red flag , why don't they have friends? How does someone not make friends? Will this affect me in some way?

In particular I cannot stand when a romantic partner wants to latch on to my friend circle like a month into us dating, get your own fcking friends

Ultimately if we're just banging, whatever nbd, but for a relationship I'd pass

cxj · 2016-10-28T02:13:37+00:00

I can't say in any way this is a green flag. Red flag, probably, they are likely depressed or something, it doesnt make them a bad person just damaged, maybe.

Or if they are really that introverted I have my doubts about them wanting a boyfriend at all.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T00:39:30+00:00

red flag, it shows they're unable or uninterested in maintaining relationships. I'm introverted and I still have a friends.

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-10-28T00:56:22+00:00

I'm a Purple Piller. I'd green flag this particular individual, because there's nothing wrong with being an introvert. I'm one, too.

Would I think it's a little odd to not have even one close friend? Sure. But people think I'm weird for only having opposite sex friends, so it's not like I am in a position to judge.

If they had no friends at all, then that would be a red flag unless they had a good reason for it.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T00:46:38+00:00

i guess it depends on how you define close friends. i have friends, but not really any love-you-like-family friends. but i do have friends i enjoy being around despite being introverted, so it might not be a red flag.

if they don't even have any acquaintances or regular friends though, that's pretty odd and would be cause for concern to me.

edited to fix some things; i must have been tired when i wrote this.

wuboo · 2016-10-28T01:13:43+00:00

It only really tells me that it's something that should be explored more. If they are just introverted and content then it's no big deal. Close relationships just aren't their thing. If it's because they are violent or super creepy then no wonder they don't have friends. It doesn't matter if they are men or women.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T04:06:18+00:00

Green flag for me. I'm an independent introvert and would rather spend my free time lifting and reading solo than entertaining or babysitting friends and being social. My boyfriend is the same way. We keep in strict shape and have our own hobbies. I would not date an extrovert or man who loves parties.

ETA: purple/red.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T08:30:39+00:00

Blue pill. That's the reddest of red flags. If someone can't manage to form and maintain at least a basic social circle I seriously doubt their ability to form and maintain a healthy romantic relationship.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T02:15:10+00:00

[deleted]

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ProbablyBelievesIt · 2016-10-28T02:20:49+00:00

Green flag for me, always. I'm curious, and the regrets don't kick in until later.

I've met some really awesome people this way, who were only down on their luck, or trying to live up to some poisoned ideals. Others just struggled with autism spectrum/mental illness.

I've also met some horrible nightmare fuel this way.

And some people in-between, with brand new kinds of screwing their lives up, in often imaginative ways. Some could be helped, others not so much.

Once or twice, I even met some people who just weren't in a hurry to make friends, but who welcomed them all the same.

rpwthrowaway2016 · 2016-10-28T04:52:32+00:00

Orange flag. It suggests that I would be their sole source of emotional support, which is stressful. But it also depends on how willing they are to attend social events with me. If they aren't, then red flag.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T11:52:28+00:00

Red flag, man or woman. Not a dealbreaker, but I'd be interested in knowing why. In some cases, it's because they're a jerk.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T14:24:28+00:00

For most people it is, but I think most people have shoddy antenna.

Girls can get away with it because intro women make better partners, intro men in theory should make great partners, but in reality being the invincible king of the world who will take her places is an important thing and a vital trait women look for.

trpobserver · 2016-10-28T22:18:58+00:00

Why does that have to be a flag at all? There's just so many different variables that could result in that.

humankinda · 2016-10-29T00:34:48+00:00

No friends at all? Im not a social person but I have one really close friend who lives out of state that I talk with often. I dont hang out with people at all. But im aware its not just a choice that i have insecurities that are made vulnerable in groups of people. If everything else is cool its a big green flag. Id like that they are similar and probably have similar reasons for their solitude and means more time spent with each other discussing hundreds of things nobody else knows.

xRedStaRx · 2016-10-29T05:00:56+00:00

Green. Might be someone with AS or ADHD. Things can be a lil rough but it can work.

Transmigratory · 2016-10-29T05:02:13+00:00

Generally a red flag because you'll wonder why has no-one wanted to stick around. Of course, you'll need to do your due diligence to find out why, for all you know they may have a good reason for not having friends (maybe their friends were losers and left the person because they didn't want to be one) and as we know making friends beyond school/university isn't the easiest.

Case by case, but you'd generally think of it as a red flag.

despisedlove2 · 2016-10-28T01:57:28+00:00

It is an ill posed question.

I am more concerned about the kind of friends a woman has than how many, if any she has.

anitapk · 2016-10-28T06:54:24+00:00

Huge red flag. Possibly one of the biggest there is.

First of all men who can't have male friends and be part of social groups are usually losers or have some problem.

Second I don't want an introvert, I want someone who is social and whose social groups I can join and have fun in possibly with other girlfriends.

Red.

This might be because I'm me, but I think it's fine for a girl to have a few selected friends.

[deleted] · 2016-10-28T12:45:56+00:00

Red flag.

A woman who has no friends probably has a personality disorder or has little experience with life. She has shown she either can't get along with people or has little to no interest in trying.

A man who has no friends, same. Probably has a personality disorder or Aspergers. (Seriously.)

Title	Q4All: Is it a red flag or a green flag if somebody has no friends?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	97
Date	October 28, 2016 12:36 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/59rliv/q4all_is_it_a_red_flag_or_a_green_flag_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-is-it-a-red-flag-or-a-green-flag-if-somebody.272125 https://theredarchive.com/post/272125

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