Can you turn No into Yes?

citrusdrink76 · 2016-10-27T19:57:07+00:00

I honestly don't think of most men I meet as sexual prospects at all, until context is established.

If a man is an automatic no in my mind, that means he is repulsive, and I don't think that can change unless his appearance changes.

I can perceive a man as being attractive or decent in the abstract, without feeling attraction. It isnt an initial maybe, however, because he doesnt enter my mind as a prospect until attraction occurs.

There are men who would be an automatic yes on a limbic level. The proportion of those men probably comes close to the Pareto model, if not narrower, when you factor in the fact that most men alive are past their prime. However, the extent to while I really feel that lust, and what it represents to me, is much less dramatic than how men on here tend to project.

SmurfESmurferson · 2016-10-27T19:51:38+00:00

I'm in sales; turning "no" into "yes" is what I do.

So, yes, it can certainly happen. That reality is what makes the Friendzone Fallacy so amusing.

shoup88 · 2016-10-27T19:55:51+00:00

I've only been with my fiance, but I have no doubt that if I was single someone could turn my no into a yes. If a guy were to be too forward right away, it wouldn't matter what he looks like - my gut instinct would be to say no if I didn't feel I had time to think about it. If he backed off but still kept flirting and kept that door open, I'd be more likely to go for it once I had the chance to weigh the pros and cons.

I suppose other factors could be the time and place, who else I'm with, how safe I feel, etc. If a guy aggressively and immediately tried to turn my maybe into a yes, that would be a big turn off for me - it would move him into the no category.

I broadly agree with this idea. I think women are conditioned to lean away from promiscuity through slut shaming etc, even if they're actually interested.

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shogunofsarcasm · 2016-10-27T21:18:19+00:00

Men that I meet are either a "no" or a "maybe" so in that way I think you are right. Both categories are as you put it sol for at least a whIle. I have to at least get to know a person and see if things are conducive to getting a yes. Some "maybes" and a lot of "no" turn in "nevers". Some maybes turn in to a "probably if given the chance" and then some of those turn in to a "yes". There aren't many guys who are a definite yes to me. And even fewer that I have actually slept with. Sometimes the whole thing can take months to a year, sometimes a couple weeks. Depends. Some sex partnershop also turn in to a "never" soon after.

As for going from a no to a yes, it can happen after a few months if the person meshes with me enough, but not if they are a "never" because there is something I really don't agree with.

However, I find guys probably do the same thing with a variation on speed depending on the person so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-10-27T22:09:28+00:00

Has a guy ever turned your no into a yes? (Or even a Yes!)

Nope. I only say what I mean.

What changed your mind? (Or what would have to change to change your mind?) Be specific please.

I honestly don't know. My "no"'s have always been strict no's.

Do you (broadly) agree or disagree with this idea?

Agree that people change their mind? Yes. Agree that they should? No, because it muddies the waters for others. Just fucking say what you mean. Be honest with yourself and your date.

biblesjedi_mindtrick · 2016-10-27T23:44:12+00:00

Has a guy ever turned your no into a yes? (Or even a Yes!)

Not outside a LTR or dating/friendship relationship. I've never had casual meeting turn into sex.

Then again, like millions of other young women, I don't hang out in bars for excitement. I didn't date outside my social cirlcle. Etc.... Women who hang out in bars are a different animal.

goatismycopilot · 2016-10-28T01:59:13+00:00

I have gone from neutral to Yes after getting to know somebody better but I have never gone from No to Yes.

iponi · 2016-10-28T02:52:33+00:00

No (yes).

anitapk · 2016-10-28T08:25:10+00:00

Yes. Being particularly crazy, funny, idgaf attitude and unpredictable.

Donotevencare · 2016-10-27T20:23:37+00:00

This is a very, VERY dangerous line of thought. We women get harassed enough as it is, we don't need men we say no to to keep bothering us in the hope of eventually getting a yes.

You know how the old, misogynist adage goes: *when a man says no, his word is final. When a woman says no, it is the beginning of negotiations.'

Brendon56 · 2016-10-28T10:39:27+00:00

For guys, one answer to turn no into yes: More money. Get more money.

A billionaire who married late is always with a woman - that take the money out of it - who normally wouldn't be seen dead with him.

And good luck to the both of them.

Title	Can you turn No into Yes?
Author	GaiusScaevolus
Upvotes	2
Comments	71
Date	October 27, 2016 7:45 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/59q2al/can_you_turn_no_into_yes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-you-turn-no-into-yes.272134 https://theredarchive.com/post/272134

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