if it wasn't for sex do you think men would look for physical intimacy with women?

chasingstatues · 2016-04-26T22:31:22+00:00

I mean, straight female friends will cuddle each other and, in some countries, so will straight men. They'll hold hands and lean on each other or otherwise physically express closeness. People are social animals that generally enjoy contact, with or without sexual intent.

watereol · 2016-04-26T17:27:36+00:00

historical evidence says yes. eunuchs would often seek out female prostitutes simply to cuddle with them even though they had no sex drive.

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T17:24:23+00:00

I would certainly seek that out. I find comfort in loving physical intimacy with my wife completely outside my desire to have sex with her. In fact, between you, me and the internet? The very first thing I feel after sex with my wife, is a desire to "reconnect" on that other physical level of intimacy. In fact, sometimes my desire for sexual intimacy and my desire for close physical intimacy outside of sex conflict, which is to say I can want to rough my wife up for a romp AND want to snuggle her to death in the same moment.

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T18:22:33+00:00

Ofcourse they do, duh.

I don't think gay men do all that with women but maybe I'm wrong.

...have you ever actually met a gay person?

GridReXX · 2016-04-26T20:40:57+00:00

I was watching science AKA Game of Thrones reruns and one of the castrated Unsullied soldiers paid a hooker some coin just to cuddle with her and rest his head in her bosom... so yes.

That said if your question is if someone wasn't seeking sex, would they still seek physical intimacy or closeness?

Aren't there countless articles about touch-starved incels or something? My guess is if they aren't going to cuddle with another man, they're going to want to cuddle with someone?

GoldPilot · 2016-04-26T22:23:28+00:00

Yes. Have you ever heard of a thing called "touch isolation?" The idea that men reserve prolonged physical contact solely for partners, or members of the opposite sex.

The only males that I ever initiate or accept comforting physical contact with (I.E. hugs, an arm around the shoulder, etc) is my father or brothers. Any other touch from a man is sorta uncomfortable (I'm not homophobic, but a dude going in for a hug rather than a handshake makes me very uncomfortable). With women, there's a romantic implication; I tend to question it or terminate it. I'm a bit paranoid in that regard, but to a lesser extent, some of the men I ask agree with me on that subject.

With a partner, physical intimacy abound. Hand holding, them sitting on your lap, cuddling to watch movies, sleeping together even during a sexless evening. It helps to have a warm body nearby, especially when you're feeling down on yourself.

dlynne5 · 2016-04-27T08:49:35+00:00

My hitachi is much better at finding my clit then most men are. I guess it doesn't cuddle but that's not what it's there for. So would I be interested in men in it weren't for sex, cause most just aren't as good as a hitachi? What exactly should I seek out a male for, aren't a lot of them clueless clit commanders? I can cuddle with my dog, so that makes them irrelevant in the cuddling department also. So an equally silly question would be this. Would women want to cuddle if their man can't find their clit in a barrel full of them? Would they want to share their personal space regardless of the so so sex? What could a man possibly bring me that my hitachi and my dog don't already provide? Question above asked with tongue firmly in cheek to establish just how ludicrous the original question was.

alreadyredschool · 2016-04-26T18:02:58+00:00

Sure thing.

double-happiness · 2016-04-26T17:21:57+00:00

God yes. They're (potentially) so soft you'd still want to touch them; the contrast with a man's body is quite striking.

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T18:40:33+00:00

Oh god yes. The main reason I dated girls before TRP was just to hang out with them because I thought they were cool and I just enjoyed being in their physical company, sex was just a fun side game. I'd def still be about it, but I kinda prefer the sex as an addition so I won't really go the no sex route if I have the choice. Which I do.

ozymandias271 · 2016-04-26T19:06:19+00:00

In my experience, alloromantic asexual men are very into cuddling and caressing, while aromantic asexual men are usually not.

nomdplume · 2016-04-26T19:36:10+00:00

As much as I can't really disconnect the two (I'm not really into too much cuddling, caressing, touching, sharing personal space, etc, with women I find sexually repulsive - I might do some, yes, but not much), I would say that I often like those other forms of physical intimacy as much, if not more, than sex itself. I'm a pretty sensual person. I like the whole package...

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T21:11:54+00:00

I don't know. Personally, I think physical intimacy is great even when there are no naughty bits involved.

WigglyCharlie · 2016-04-26T18:47:27+00:00

Gay men do indeed cuddle with women.

Source: Am fruit fly. Have done cuddling, massages, co-sleeping with gay male friends. No sexual contact at all.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-04-26T20:30:21+00:00

If it wasn't for sex men would hunt women for sport like deer

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T17:48:30+00:00

Yes, of course. I miss it more than sex actually.

lady_baker · 2016-04-26T18:01:36+00:00

I would not. I don't want to cuddle, caress, touch or share personal space with a woman unless I'm going to get sex out of it. Without sex, all that other stuff is a waste of time, effort and resources.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-04-26T17:38:55+00:00

not high testostrone men, no

MissPearl · 2016-04-26T18:59:17+00:00

if men weren't sexually interested in women do you think they would still look for physical intimacy with them? I don't think gay men do all that with women but maybe I'm wrong.

Yeah, I know cuddly gay men. However they tend to be cuddle addicts who can't get enough physical contact- generally it's straight guys who are most starved for any kind of physical contact because they can't get much in the way of touching without sex or their sexuality being questioned.

havingberries · 2016-04-26T22:44:00+00:00

I think for some people yes for others no. I know a brother and sister who are all about hugging and touching and teasing and would be pretty grossed out if you told them they do it because of their sex-drive. Physical intimacy serves a lot of purposes. I mean, why do you think Football players slap ass? Sex-drive? We like touching. We like to be touched. Those things fold nicely into sex, which is good because we gotta, you know, make more humans. But think of it like this, humans existed for thousands of years in some form, without any real language. And we are social animals. So how do you think we communicated love before we could say I love you? My guess: We hugged it out, bro.

LordFishFinger · 2016-04-26T23:57:07+00:00

There was a post on here some time ago that said that basically ever since homosexuality has entered the public consciousness, men look for intimacy only with women. Before that, male friends would platonically hug, peck and sit on each others' laps all the time. Sounded plausible to me.

wazzup987 · 2016-04-27T01:36:43+00:00

I would,

Lonny_zone · 2016-04-27T02:06:36+00:00

I know a man who was practically castrated by injury and he longs for some sweet sweet cuddles.

adrixshadow · 2016-04-27T08:08:17+00:00

Yes and No.

If you look at porn from the perspective of killing of your sex drive then you have the MGTOW who forsake having to do anything with women. They have potential to forsake it and occupy themselves with other things.

However intimacy is still a need and without the need of sex its probably stronger.

[deleted] · 2016-04-27T09:43:23+00:00

Yes, the way a man can act and be vulnerable around the woman he loves he cant do around anyone else. Most straight Guys dont get along the way straight women do with eachother and any intimacy a straight guy gets is going to come from the woman in his life. Just having a woman around is a great feeling. Aslong as her attitude and personalty doesnt make you miserable that is.

czerdec · 2016-04-27T13:51:39+00:00

Isn't the only reasonable answer "Yes, at approximately the same rate as gay men. Some will, others won't." ?

lilchaoticneutral · 2016-04-27T17:04:14+00:00

Gay men do cuddle women, my gay cousin cuddles with my GF on the regular.

ilikewc3 · 2016-04-30T03:22:48+00:00

As a man, I've done those things just for the sake of it. Especially when being emotionally intimate like when I'm sharing deeply personal shit.

winndixie · 2016-05-03T04:52:23+00:00

Why are you asking this question to sexual creatures?

leftajar · 2016-04-26T18:07:57+00:00

Ladies have soft skin and smell good. I like to touch with dick, but barring that, I like to touch anyway.

DaphneDK · 2016-04-27T01:18:11+00:00

I wouldn't. Are you interested in being physical intimate with girls you have no sexual interest in? Like your sisters. Would you want to cuddle, caress, move in with your sister? I don't even like cuddle / caressing that much with sex. 1 minute cuddle and it feels like prison, and the only non sexual caressing I like is to have my hair ruffled.

I find that moving in with a girl who comes with sex and future children (& cooks/clean/etc.) is a very big step for me. If she came with none of those, then nope.

wolfman86 · 2016-04-26T17:26:21+00:00

If it wasnt for money do you think women would show any interest in men? At the end of the day, women know their way around a clit better, but none of them earn anything like the money men do...

Edit; a word.

dude_wheres_mycat · 2016-04-26T17:41:17+00:00

No. Absolutely not. I've already got friends and had many guy and girl "friends". Hey guess why girls pretend to be your friend? Lol it's cause they want to cheat on their husbands and boyfriends with you. They are fake friends who only pretend to care about me because they want sex. And once I became aware of that I watched the advice they would give me. It wasn't what was best for me but best for them! Friends? Lol.

My guy friends are my best friends. Do I want physical intimacy with them? You've got to be kidding me.

Still I did have this one girl in my journey for a year. She is literally the only girl, non mother, who I've ever let meet one of my kids. She was always touching me. Rubbing my back. My thighs, not even to suck my dick, just rubbing my thighs. Constant touch. If she was near me she was touching me.

It was pretty amazing. So now despite everything I used to think I could see myself wanting to have that in my life again. Even if I couldn't fuck a girl. But still I'm gonna try to fuck you.

despisedlove2 · 2016-04-26T17:37:35+00:00

No.

Men make much better friends. Less drama. More fun.

viciousloop · 2016-04-26T17:27:43+00:00

My bf would but he may not be the best example of all guys.

RobotPartsCorp · 2016-04-27T05:05:43+00:00

Well, do gay men cuddle with women?

Here is your answer. Hint: it's "no".

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[deleted] · 2016-04-26T19:13:20+00:00

you know.. without the sexual attraction aspect and the desire for that...I don't know if I would. Caressing, touching and all that you wrote still has a sexual subtext to it. Even if you don't get to do it with that person.

I never thought of it that way.

kick6 · 2016-04-26T22:52:08+00:00

No. We'd get or goodfeelz neurochemical fixes by doing stuff with the boys. Not, like, butt stuff. Just...dude stuff.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-04-27T00:54:34+00:00

I would. Ofc if i wasnt getting pussy that would be my driving, burning single goal.

But once pussy is secured? then i can just chill and enjoy the hot oil massage/palm leaf fanning.

indie_man_in_canada · 2016-04-26T18:05:57+00:00

I'm talking of cuddling, caressing, touching, sharing personal space etc.

I think this would depend on the man. Some men see these as 'things they want', most men I know do not. /shrugs

if it wasn't for sex do you think men would look for physical intimacy with women?

I think the real and much better question is: What do men even get out of relationships outside the sex?

I mean, I cannot think of a single thing a man gets from a relationship nowadays outside the sex. Women nowadays feel that simply 'their existence' is enough and that they don't actually have to contribute anything (which is why none do)

I cannot remember the last time I ever saw or witnessed a woman doing anything for a guy. Almost all the guys I know in real life echo this sentiment, where they only thing they get out of relationships is the sex (that even, when their gf decides it).

In short, the real question you should be asking is what do men actually get from women in relationships outside sex? Since most women I know or have seen pretty much believe that their sheer existence is 'enough' and that they don't really have to do anything in the relationship since 'they exist'.

Title	if it wasn't for sex do you think men would look for physical intimacy with women?
Author	ifelsedowhile
Upvotes	8
Comments	137
Date	April 26, 2016 5:17 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4gjv32/if_it_wasnt_for_sex_do_you_think_men_would_look/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-it-wasnt-for-sex-do-you-think-men-would-look.274935 https://theredarchive.com/post/274935

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