Why is RPW sub not open to being critical of men?

jkonrad · 2015-07-06T17:43:55+00:00

Because a woman can't change the man, any more than the reverse. Why focus on what they cannot control?

exit_sandman · 2015-07-06T17:27:12+00:00

Why isn't RPW open to discussions about what your boyfriend is doing wrong and whether or not it is time to dump his sorry ass?

Because redpill advice fills a void mainstream advice leaves.

For men, it's the advice on how to be self-centered and only out for yourself, and how women fit into your life and not you into theirs.

For women, it's the advice to be selfless and really appreciate your guy instead of constant reminders that all men are useless and constant cheerleading should you decide that you "deserve better".

Wait_whatcolorwastha · 2015-07-06T17:14:26+00:00

I've definitely seen posts where people recommend "nexting" your man. But it's not a sub to bitch about relationship problems, to come around and say "Oh, he was so mean and said such and such" then general consensus is that you probably did something to result in him saying that.

Lots of tough love and criticizing our own behavior, analyzing ourselves and becoming better at being in relationships.

Samantha_Simpson · 2015-07-06T19:18:41+00:00

Much of what is said on RPW operates under the assumption that the man in question is of good moral character and has the interests of both partners at heart. If this assumption is false (which can certainly happen, as there are bad men who will take advantage of the trust their wives put in them), it could potentially lead to very harmful situations. However, from what I've seen on the sub, many other ladies are well aware of this and thus exercise good judgment in choosing a partner in the first place. There was a thread that came up where deal-breakers in the opposite sex were discussed. A history of infidelity, irresponsible habits, and various other things were mentioned as "red flags".

Basically, an assumption is made on the RPW sub that the woman in question had good reasons for choosing her current man; otherwise they wouldn't even be together to begin with. With this in mind, it logically follows that their SO's perceived faults are not due to any malicious intent on his part, so they refrain from consistently complaining about them.

FleetingWish · 2015-07-06T20:58:55+00:00

Because what attracts men and women are different. Men are going to be initially attracted to any girl who is pretty almost regardless of personality. Women are going to be attracted to a great personality almost regardless of looks.

Why does this make a different in the dating advice?

For men this means the advice basically comes down to, "Dude, pay attention to her personality too"

For women this means the advice basically comes down to, "Your attraction to him must mean there is something about his personality that is really great, don't forget that." A lot of women get complacent with what they have and suffer "grass is greener" syndrome.

This is further compounded be the fact that "A great personality" is something that can be made or broken. If you break your man's spirit, you have to discover that it's your fault, or else the same thing will happen again with your future partners.

And then there is the little thing about partner count. Making bad choices and choosing bad partners looks just as bad as being a pump and dump. A woman ending up repeatedly in bad relationships says a lot about her. Because of this, it is better if you try to make it work in most cases.

We live in a culture of "what if the man you chose is horrible to you", but more often than not, that is simply not the case. Especially if you chose him. The vast majority of men are decent people, who just want to be loved. They do not want to screw you over. This is even true of most red pillars.

Iramadance · 2015-07-06T17:15:33+00:00

Because it's about SELF improvement. Not give bullshit advice you hope your boyfriend will follow. It would turn into every other "woman bitching about her relationship problems" forum if that was the case.

LamiaQueen · 2015-07-06T18:05:17+00:00

You do see that advice occasionally though. Sometimes the response to even neutral phrasing is "He doesn't sound like a good captain." I've given it myself a couple times, I wasn't banned or anything. You may just not be seeing it, it's not as common but it's there.

max_peenor · 2015-07-06T16:51:30+00:00

What the hell are you talking about? They are pretty ruthless to each other.

[deleted] · 2015-07-06T16:54:11+00:00

Control what you can control. I have seen them tell people their relationship dynamics might not be repairable. But even you'd agree if that's the case, acknowledging you're not perfect will help your next relationship.

[deleted] · 2015-07-06T21:15:28+00:00

If there is one thing that reddit just doesn't have enough of, it is criticizing men. Won't somebody please start criticizing the menz?

cxj · 2015-07-06T19:56:53+00:00

I don't get this, I see RPW advising to leave relationships fairly often, but usually over serious shit like "he's moving across the country and I'm not coming," or "he hasn't been employed since we started dating," or other serious issues not related to the woman not getting her way all the time.

mrgoditself · 2015-07-06T16:56:52+00:00

Come with an open mind and you'll see everything. I remember when i was on hate period, i made a comment from my experience and got called out for being an idiot plus an immature idiot. Also saw other people being called out on their bullshit.

Not sure, how is it going now. I just read posts from time to time and that's it.

[deleted] · 2015-07-06T17:33:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-07-06T18:02:26+00:00

What purpose is served by criticizing men who aren't there to see it?

Katniss_Granger · 2015-07-07T09:11:06+00:00

Because we know that a lot of issues are either cause by us or could be solved by us and its much easier to change our own view than his.

It's also disrespectful to bitch about our men, I hate hate hate listening to girls bitch and moan about their SO, it's one of my biggest pet peeves, it just reeks of disloyalty.

I think women would be utterly shocked by the difference if they stopped moaning about her man, stopped blaming him and started appreciating him...basically treat him like a human rather than the toy we've been told we're entitled to.

If the boyfriend is going wrong we'll say so, there's been plenty of times when we've said that he doesn't sound like the good trustworthy man we think we should strive for. The issue is that we like to fix issues rather than "next" the men we're with.

TheLadyPainter · 2015-07-07T14:56:02+00:00

Most women posting about their relationship are seeking advice on how to improve it. And, usually, the way to improve it is to understand what your SO needs from you.

Why isn't RPW open to discussions about what your boyfriend is doing wrong and whether or not it is time to dump his sorry ass?

We are. I've seen plenty of threads where consensus is that the OP should move on. Do some more lurking before you form your opinions.

OfSpock · 2015-07-06T20:07:39+00:00

Not critical of men?? We literally blame men almost entirely for succombing to feminism, white knighting, saving hoes, and not unfucking themselves. We blame men for getting married, being enablers, not lifting, acting like bitches, and everything else. We're more critical of men than we are of women.

[deleted] · 2015-07-06T18:48:39+00:00

Probably because men and masculinity are being run down frequently in the media in feminist propaganda .

[deleted] · 2015-07-06T20:18:28+00:00

I've been lurking in RP and RPW for a while since I'd like to learn more about being a good girlfriend. I'm also concerned about preserving my relationship and preventing him from straying.

However I'm concerned about the focus around there on having a guy who is alpha / high quality, what about those of us who are more professional or educated than our BF and are also anti-divorce, anti- modern dating. There are men out there who are not very successful, they need wives too.

I am not just talking about "how can someone with a master's in sociology get on with a blue collar guy who knows neither Foucault nor Derrida" but a deeper issue. The issue of divorce rates, of illegitimacy, of forgetting about / throwing away things you've done just for short term satisfaction, rather than looking at real costs and benefits.

We need to consider - not the next year, not just the next 20 years but what impact our decision will make on our next 100 years - and what impact our descendants, both physical and ideological, will make over the next 200 years.

To me, the entire paradigm of 'modern dating' is broken, a wretched and hollow specter, whether it's blue pill or red pill. The idea of changing your man or woman is not a good idea but the idea of 'nexting' people or always going after HB10 is, imo, kind of toxic.

I feel that in this way, Red Pill is an extension of 'modern dating' rather than a refutation of it.

I feel that we should not always go for Mr or Ms Right, but Mr or Ms Good Enough should be a good choice.

nemma88 · 2015-07-07T08:58:15+00:00

I think outside the sub, a lot of traditional leaning women are more critical of men.

TRP goes a bit overboard, RPW goes in the opposite direction. Maybe it's a symptom of what happens when you segregate genders.

thereddespair · 2015-07-07T15:24:55+00:00

one thing i can randomly say about rpw that has nothing to do with the op is it is still a group of women end of the day. what youd make of that statement, is up to you.

Xemnas81 · 2015-07-08T14:18:21+00:00

It's incredibly critical, just not in a bitchy 2nd phase way. I was banned for being beta and seeking their wisdom of how to become Captain. It's a sub about how to be the best woman, for the best man.

GayLubeOil · 2015-07-06T23:20:27+00:00

The Red Pill is very critical of men its critical of betas manginas cuckolds male feminists and the obese. Go on Red Poll right now and tell them your a male feminist. You are going to find out very quickly exactly vhow critical of men TRP can be.

Title	Why is RPW sub not open to being critical of men?
Author	TheChemist158
Upvotes	18
Comments	70
Date	July 6, 2015 4:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3cbgi3/why_is_rpw_sub_not_open_to_being_critical_of_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-rpw-sub-not-open-to-being-critical-of-men.281214 https://theredarchive.com/post/281214

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