TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

  • Subreddits

      Popular

    • /r/askTRP
    • /r/TheRedPill
    • /r/MarriedRedPill
    • /r/MensRights
    • /r/MGTOW
    • /r/PurplePillDebate
    • /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
    • Other

    • /r/AllPillDebate
    • /r/AlreadyRed
    • /r/altTRP
    • /r/AntiFeminists
    • /r/askFDS
    • /r/askMRP
    • /r/askRPC
    • /r/becomeaman
    • /r/BlackPillScience
    • /r/Chadfish
    • /r/Divorce_Men
    • /r/EverydayMisandry
    • /r/ExRedPill
    • /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
    • /r/FeminismStopsWhen
    • /r/GEOTRP
    • /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
    • /r/MalePsychology
    • /r/Male_Studies
    • /r/MenSupportMen
    • /r/MGTOW2
    • /r/MuslimRedPill
    • /r/newTRP
    • /r/PussyPass
    • /r/PussyPassDenied
    • /r/RedPillBooks
    • /r/RedPillParenting
    • /r/RedPillWives
    • /r/RedPillWomen
    • /r/RedPillWorkplace
    • /r/RPChristians
    • /r/seduction
    • /r/ThankTRP
    • /r/TheRedPillStories
    • /r/trpGAME
    • /r/TRPOffTopic
    • /r/TrueBlackPillMGTOW
    • /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
  • Blogs

      Popular

    • Dalrock
    • Heartiste
    • Illimitable Men
    • Return of Kings
    • Rian Stone
    • The Rational Male
    • Woujo
    • Other

    • Artful Prudence
    • A Voice for Men
    • Alpha Game
    • Black Label Logic
    • Caleb Jones
    • Captain Capitalism
    • Corporate Machiavelli
    • Days of Game
    • Deep Strength
    • Dicipres
    • Donal Graeme
    • Female Misogynist
    • Free Northerner
    • Gaming My Wife
    • Good Looking Loser
    • Hawaiian Libertarian
    • In Mala Fide
    • KillToParty
    • Kill Your Inner Loser
    • Krauser PUA
    • LaidNYC
    • Married Man Sex Life
    • NO MA'AM
    • Omega Virgin Revolt
    • Pook's Mill
    • Random Xpat Rantings
    • Red Pill Theory
    • Red Pill Wifery
    • RedPillDad
    • RedPillDoctor
    • Seasons of Tumult and Discord
    • Sigma Frame
    • The Feminine Woman
    • The Futurist
    • The Masculine Principle
    • The Modern Man
    • The New Modern Man
    • The Obsidian Files
    • The Power Moves
    • The Private Man
    • The Red Pill Room
    • The Red Quest
    • The Rules Revisited
    • The Spearhead
    • Troy Francis
    • Wintery Knight
    • Young Man Red Pill
  • Books
  • Dictionary
  • @TRParchive
  • Please help TheRedArchive stay alive

When banks give you loans, they check credit ratings. When people buy cars, they check its condition and mileage. When employers hire people, they check the applicant's criminal record history and his resume. The past matters, especially when dating; TRP is incontrovertibly correct on this issue...

[deleted]

May 3, 2015
21 upvotes
/r/PurplePillDebate
Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB
Share
Share Tweet Reddit Email
Post Information
Title When banks give you loans, they check credit ratings. When people buy cars, they check its condition and mileage. When employers hire people, they check the applicant's criminal record history and his resume. The past matters, especially when dating; TRP is incontrovertibly correct on this issue...
Author

[deleted]

Upvotes 21
Comments 196
Date May 3, 2015 12:09 AM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/34o91j/when_banks_give_you_loans_they_check_credit/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-banks-give-you-loans-they-check-credit.282373
https://theredarchive.com/post/282373
Red Pill terms in post
the red pill

Comments

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

If you want to see how the past "matters", try going on a date with a woman sometime and tell her that you used to be a pedophile but you got treatment for it and you've "grown and changed" and are at a different place in your life now and are looking for something healthy and meaningful. Ill wait here until she stops throwing up and you stop laughing

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Having had a rich sexlife is equal to having been a pedophile. Got it.

If you want to see how the past matters, try going on a date with a woman sometime and tell her that you used to chew gum but you spat it out on the street and you've grown and changed and are at a different place in your life now and are looking for something healthy and meaningful. Your yada means nada.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

But the past is the past, right? People change and grow and mature, and learn from their past, why would you judge someone who did something when they were young that they don't like anymore and don't want to do anymore?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Of course you judge them. The bigger issue is whether you hold it against them.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Which of course it would be wrong to do, right?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

Whatever floats your boat. Just don't say it's rational to do it.

[–]Phokus1983 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

I would say it's rational

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It also says this: "There are two other related premarital risk factors for low marital quality in our research sample: Having lived with someone other than a future spouse and/or having been married previously. These findings echo other research showing that having cohabited with multiple partners is a risk factor for divorce" And also it doesn't appear to have anything to say as to whether the low happiness was due to the other partner ending the relationship over former high partner count. It seems to say that high experience equals high standards.

What where you even trying to say?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Why would that make it rational? Why would holding something someone did in the past against them have anything with marital happiness to do?

[–]Phokus1983 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Did you read the study? Seriously?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

No I didn't read the study, if everyone just linked different studies there'd be no discussion. I didn't get an answer from your quote and especially not the highlighted part.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I didnt tell you my opinion, I asked yours. Would it be wrong to hold their past against them? Yes or no. Its an easy question

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I said I thought it was amoral, but that holding peoples past against them is irrational.

[–]ashurdashur 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for creating these analogies. I didn't understand that the past mattered until you brought up these analogies. Now I totally agree and you are incontrovertibly correct.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What about men with high N-counts? Doesn't that prove the exact same thing?

[–]Phokus1983 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm having a hard time understanding why a woman with a high N count automatically equals a cheater. Sex can be had outside of relationships without cheating.

I'm all for avoiding women who are known cheaters, lack impulse control and crave consistent validation. Automatically assuming these things in high N women is unfair. Don't date them if you are uncomfortable or your gut is telling you no but don't accuse them of being disloyal when you don't have any evidences to verify it.

A bank men wouldn't refuse to loan money develop a relationship to an applicant women just because the applicant bought a car with cash sex outside of relationship and didn't take out a loan out for it.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

It's a matter of behaviour patters.

A woman with a high n count has demonstrated a past with several of the following attributes.

  • A low "entry barrier" for males wishing to have sex with her
  • A high propensity for following "lizard brain" feelings
  • A low propensity for overruling feelings with rational decision making
  • A high propensity to seek Dopamine hits from sexual relationships
  • A low propensity to seek Oxytocin hits from sexual relationships
  • A high propensity to be an alpha widow for some other guy with much more alpha than you
  • A low propensity (usually) to keep promises of fidelity to men

A high n count is a good proxy for all those measures. As such, on an evolutionary level men's lizard brains dislike these women (I.e. They are still turned on by them as sexual partners, but turned off of them as LTR material) and, if you are also RP, you also acquire a dislike for these women on a rational level (again as LTR material).

Once your gut (ol lizard) and your brain (ol rational brain) agree on something... Why would you overrule BOTH to snag that LTR ? You wouldn't. You don't want an LTR with that kind of gal anymore. So you don't have one.

Then a load of bloopers and non-RP people come along and call you an asshole, or a hypocrite, or an idiot for doing nothing other than following what your brain and gut BOTH have good reasons for telling you.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

A low "entry barrier" for males wishing to have sex with her

At the same time she may have a high entry barrier for relationships. Many people don't view relationships as only about sex. Most understand that you must give up sexually diversity in order to gain the intimacy from a relationship.

A low propensity for overruling feelings with rational decision making

In an age of condoms and birth control to protect oneself from pregnancy and STDs there are no rational explanations to stay chaste. There maybe social or emotional consequences but that varies between social groups and individuals.

A low propensity to seek Oxytocin hits from sexual relationships

Oxytocin hits can last for only a couple of months. This gives enough time for a woman to bed another man for a high N count. Oxytocin should not be the basis of a serious relationship because it always wears down over time for both sexes.

A high propensity to seek Dopamine hits from sexual relationships

Sex is about dopamine. In or out of relationships.

A high propensity to be an alpha widow for some other guy with much more alpha than you

I agree but I think the sensitivity is more of a innate personality trait than something that is gained from experience. Many women come out of one encounter with very high expectations or heartbroken. I seen it with men too. I think it's a risk that can't be avoided whether the N is 0 or 50 with certain people.

A low propensity (usually) to keep promises of fidelity to men

I agree. Usually there is a correlation, but not all the time to accuse disloyalty on all high N women.

IDK much about "lizard brain" to comment. I tried googling it up but can't seem to find a concrete definition.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

At the same time she may have a high entry barrier for relationships. Many people don't view relationships as only about sex. Most understand that you must give up sexually diversity in order to gain the intimacy from a relationship.

Absolutely. But a low barrier to having casual sex is not a good quality in an LTR partner. She is likely to feel mor tempted to cheat than those with high entry barriers for casual sex.

In an age of condoms and birth control to protect oneself from pregnancy and STDs there are no rational explanations to stay chaste. There maybe social or emotional consequences but that varies between social groups and individuals.

I agree. There is no rational expectation to stay chaste. That's why it is such a good marker for an LTR prospect. Anyone who has done so despite the encouragement of society to engage in casual sex is very likely to be the kind of girl it is easy to have a monogamous relationship with.

Sex is about dopamine. In or out of relationships.

Yes and no. The rush from sex per se is dopamine. However, the feeling of ling term love and comfort is oxytocin. This is released after repeated and continual sex acts with the same person.

I women showing a major preference for dopamine over Oxytocin is going to be tempted to cheat, as cheating adds all the "breaking the rules" and "getting the strange" dopamine to the standard sex dopamine. A woman with a clear preference for Oxycotin is likely to stay more faithful.

Girls with a low number of long term partners are revealing their preference as against a girl with a high number of short term partners.

I agree but I think the sensitivity is more of a innate personality trait than something that is gained from experience. Many women come out of one encounter with very high expectations or heartbroken. I seen it with men too. I think it's a risk that can't be avoided whether the N is 0 or 50 with certain people.

Well it can be avoided at 0. You can't be an AW unless you slept with an alpha. From there, the more partners she has... The more likely it will be that one of them "out alphas" you.

Women with 50 partners ? Good chance she's a widow, maybe many times over. Partner count of 5 ? Much lower chance.

Not predictive, but is a good heuristic.

I agree. Usually there is a correlation, but not all the time to accuse disloyalty on all high N women.

Not saying they are all disloyal. Just that you are better off playing the odds.

IDK much about "lizard brain" to comment. I tried googling it up but can't seem to find a concrete definition.

Well this is a whole post on its own.

Mammals inherited a brain from their reptile ancestors. This brain runs with emotion... Fear, Lust, love, hate, anger etc etc.... That's how it works. All animals have this brain.

In mammals we developed a second brain overlaid on the top of this reptile brain of emotion. A rational "figure stuff out" brain. Humans have the most massively overdeveloped version of this.

So.... When someone throws a ball... And you catch it "automatically", putting your hand in the right spot without thinking about it, that's lizard brain.

If someone throws a ball... And you get out a pen, calculator and paper... Do your calculus, predict the parabolic arc, predict the timing... Then put your hand where the math says to. Close your fingers when the maths says to. Then catch it. That's mammal brain.

Lizard brain runs evolutionary deterministic strategy. He doesnt think much. He's just a dumb old lizard. "Oooooh... Sexy male... Here are the panty wetting feels evolution wants you to have"... Mammal brain either accepts this "ooooh.. The feels... He must be my soulmate, it's finally my time to be happy" ... Or he rejects it "the feels are strong, but I've got a good hubby. Ignore the feels".

RP ignores mammal brain. Works directly with lizard brain. So many women have such trouble controlling their feels that we've found working with the "organ grinder" to be more useful than working with the "monkey" that dances to lizard brains tune.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for the explanation!

You have good reason to choose the women that you do. I'm glad that there wasn't any underlying hate within your response. One of the things I can't stand most about TRP is many have automatic disrespect for women that they won't date.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I can see why they do, it's hard to respect someone that gets their strings pulled by lizard brain all the time and refuse to use their mammal brain.

I just don't find it useful. Displaying this behaviour leads to sub-optimal strategic choices on your part.... "This girl seems good... but they are ALL whorey, whores who just can't stop being whorey... So I will reject this girl for an LTR". So, where does this get you ? Nowhere usually.

Almost all RP men figure this out for themselves... Often takes a while, but most do... Some are transitioning through the anger phase, others get stuck in the anger phase permanently... RP as a whole recognises this as a sub-optimal phase and recommends getting to "acceptance" as quick as you can, for your own sake.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

< I don't find sluts attractive like women don't like short guys. It's the same thing.

That makes so much more sense than most TRP stuff I have read.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago (67 children) | Copy Link

I have a similar question that I've been meaning to ask for a while. I understand (I don't quite agree, but I understand) the slut/stud duality based on the fact that it's way easier for women to get laid. However, I don't understand the rejection of a woman with a high N count based on the fact that her previous one night stands and general promiscuous behavior show that she's not the kind of person who can do long term relationships with kids and stuff. Wouldn't a man with a similarly high N count have proved the exact same thing? I'm honestly curious here, I would like to understand the logic.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women probably should care more about partner count. That doesn't matter; they don't, provided that you meet their minimum.

TRP isn't in the business of providing advice to women is all.

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't a man with a similarly high N count have proved the exact same thing?

Four argument against it being the same:

  • polygamous behavior is kinda the default; and even if an increased N count correlates with infidelity, men don't tank their marriages over this - they rather cheat on the side but keep their spouse. Women on the other hand are more likely to end the relationship for good.
  • men don't sleep around above their league
  • we don't try to date men, so we don't care - it's up to women to decide what they want to do with that information
  • every girl can pull off being a slut, being a stud is hard - i.e. men who sleep around tend to have more attractive traits. Women care less than men about promiscuity and are more willing to let it slide if the guy is sufficiently attractive.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

polygamous behavior is kinda the default; and even if an increased N count correlates with infidelity, men don't tank their marriages over this - they rather cheat on the side but keep their spouse. Women on the other hand are more likely to end the relationship for good.

As a woman, I don't think I would be down for cheating, even if it were on the side and he wasn't planning on ending the marriage over it. I think that cheating would really upset me.

men don't sleep around above their league

I don't actually see the relevance here, even if this is true, what does it say about a high male N count proving/not proving that he's not cut out for long term relationships? I'm not trying to be snide, just trying to understand.

we don't try to date men, so we don't care - it's up to women to decide what they want to do with that information

Haha, fair enough, I can take that.

every girl can pull off being a slut, being a stud is hard - i.e. men who sleep around tend to have more attractive traits. Women care less than men about promiscuity and are more willing to let it slide if the guy is sufficiently attractive.

Stats? I think you could make an argument that people care less about cheating if it's with a more attractive partner, but I don't think I've ever come across any evidence that women care less about cheating than men. Even if I'm with a stud that has all da alpha, if he's in a relationship with me, then he's in a relationship with me. But that's just me, maybe studies show that women in general care less. Blow me away!

[–]LordFishFingerI found pills (and ate them!) 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

men don't tank their marriages over this - they rather cheat on the side but keep their spouse

So much for men being more honorable.

Seriously, how is that preferable? That kind of marriage has no integrity, it's better off dissolved.

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Seriously, how is that preferable?

Ask the people involved what they think of it. I dare to say that you'll find more women who think it's tolerable if their man has something on the side (but the family is more or less intact) than men who think it's tolerable if their woman considers them beneath her standards (and lets them know it) and swaps them out for someone they consider better (and their family gets broken up over it).

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

If a man thinks this, he is regarded as "whipped".

(and their family gets broken up over it).

Again, there are men who do this. Women are more likely to do it though because women are thrusted upon to take care of a social enviroment (as in the general mood at the moment)

This is very apparent with "orbiters".

When they should really protest their onset and snark at them for exhausting her mentally, she "complies" in order to keep the general mood up, even though it isn't her fucking job to cater to their limited self worth dependant on the affection of women and ever so hungry...

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

"even though it isn't her fucking job to cater to their limited self worth dependant on the affection of women and ever so hungry..."

Your misandry is showing. AMALT, amirite?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Nope. I felt like splaying out a bit.

Sexism is what gets me going.

And they have a lot to work on.

One of the things I agree with RP on is the fact that orbiters are obnoxious.

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Orbiters are sad but i think they're a natural result of men who've been raised to be less assertive and now have no idea what to do with their hands around women. They are annoying but having been one i can feel pity. I just don't get how they don't see what's happening.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not the "they have no idea what to do around women" it's more the fact that they can't abide by a platonic relationship with her and treat her like entertainment, i.e they crave her attention.

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This I can get on board with. Lot of guys I met can't seem to figure out "just friends."

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Read this

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I like how your view is so one sided. If your s/o completely satisfies you in the sex department, men will have little need to fulfill his sexual needs.

[–]waylandertheslayer 13 points14 points15 points 11 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Leaving aside the arguments that most BP would disagree with anyway (oxytocin etc.) there is one main point.

For a woman, there will always be one person who is the most alpha she's ever had. The highest value man she's ever been with. Unless that man is you, she's going to be what TRP calls an 'alpha widow', where she's always, in the back of her mind, got the thought that "I can get someone better than this guy, because I have had one in the past" - even if it's no longer true, because she's older now, or because she could only get a ONS with that alpha.

Furthermore, she will constantly compare you currently with his best. Having to be better than every other guy she's slept with 24/7 is really hard anyway, and it gets even harder when you factor this in.

Now, the more people a slut has slept with the more likely that one of them is higher value than you.

For studs, this is not as much of a problem, because men are not hypergamous in the same way as women. I would not necessarily want to enter an LTR with the hottest woman I can get, I would want someone who I enjoy spending time with and care about. I would be happy to take a tradeoff between hotness and lack of bitchiness. In the long run, this doesn't work that well for women because of hypergamy.

There's other points, but this is the one I think is the most convincing.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you can get women to admit to their hyper-gamy. My Red Pill response would've been:

The average woman has a much, much easier time getting laid than the average man. Even in one night stands, the average male must be the right kind of charming (both physique-wise and fashion-wise, i.e. be attractive, don't be unattractive) and have the right kind of personality. The average female, on the other hand, can get laid almost instantly.

Therefore, if a man can get laid consistently it shows that he must have desirable traits. He might be rich or fit or charming or born to lead/dominate. Any and all of these traits are desirable in a mate from an objective perspective.

On the other hand, if a woman has a high partner count, it's not the same accomplishment because it did not require the same amount of skill and effort. In fact, it can be seen as undesirable because of the simple supply-and-demand... why would you want the same basic bitch plain yogurt that everyone else has had a lick of, when you could instead have a tasty and excellent-textured vanilla ice cream sundae?

TLDR: A key that opens any lock is a master-key, whereas a lock that opens to any key is a shit-lock.

Ignore this paragraph unless you disagree about women getting sex more easily than men: Is it a coincidence that male pick-up theory is exponentially more prominent and ubiquitous than female pick-up theory? Why is it that females don't need game or silly PUA-esque shit? Even though there are approximately 33% more females than males on Earth? The second question should be enough to convince you, but I can keep going. The average male must do much more to be seen as attractive, compared to the average female. The male must put on muscle (which is a difficult thing to do), and burn fat without burning muscle (which is not so easy). In contrast, the female must simply be reasonably skinny (unless she is voluptuous with dem curves) and put on make-up (if you think make-up is a hassle, consider that ugly men can't mask their ugliness for fear of ostracizing, whereas ugly woman can; make-up is an advantage); she doesn't have to worry about the muscle burned along with the fat, and she doesn't have to spend hours in the gym torturing herself. Also, if a girl has small breasts (which is something she is born with) she can get breast implants to be attractive and increase her amount of sex; in contrast, if a man is short (which is something he is born with), he is absolutely fucked and things are much much harder for him in this world. Women have it easier in the sex/dating realm, and women can have a booming love life with much less effort.

[–]waylandertheslayer 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

approximately 33% more females than males on Earth?

This is bullshit. The ratio is roughly 50-50. There are slightly more women than men because women live to be older, but it's nowhere near a 3/7ths and 4/7ths situation.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, my bad. I checked and you're right. I learned the male:female ratio was 2:3 in a high school class.

[–]anonymous1113Purple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It probably is close to that at older ages.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And this never changes unless it is due to extreme social engineering. See; China.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea its like 51/49 f/m.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

The average woman needs to do less to be attractive you say?

THe only thing a man has to do by your logic is be more or less charming, meanwhile the woman needs to shave her entire body, go on diets, choose the right outfit, turn down men who are attractive (because otherwise you would feel bad and shame her for being a slut) she has to put on makeup, do her hair. And on top of that, your saying she doesn't bring anything to the relationship, so she has to ALSO be reasonably charming etc. What the fuck? Talk about distant from reality.

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Actually I roll on down to the local dive and watch the landwhales land drunk and incoherent college guys just about every fri/sat. They don't do much, just make it clear they're open for business. Never seen one leave alone.

It's not rape because it's guys though.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It's not rape because it's guys though.

Is this what you think?

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, this was sarcasm. My b, next time I'll /s

[–]chazzALB37yo Purple Perma-Virgin 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Unfortunately it's what the world thinks.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I know.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I like how you split my argument but adress the whole post. It's rare to see that, however I don't agree that women have to do nothing in order to get laid. The word putting in mouth is in accordance to red pill arguments that women only need to exist for men to want to fuck them. That is untrue and not beneficial to anyone. If you want to fuck every woman in the world simply because they're a woman then you've got problems. If you don't, what makes you think other do?

If you don't want any argument, I suggest you go jerk off in redpill instead.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That sounds like a walk in the park compared to what men have to do.

[–]Phokus1983 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

The thing that people are going to most commonly answer with is a sort of pop-evolutionary psychology cynical statement like "Women are meant to produce the children and men are to spread their seed." Forgetting, of course, that this argument in itself is a philosophical one that emerges out of the 17th and 18th centuries. But also the reason I say cynical is because it is taking conscious recognition of a process that would be an unconscious one. You say these forces are acting on you, but, you still know what you are doing and yet you continue to do it anyway.

The truth is these guys care about partner counts because they fear that they fear the fact that they might be replaceable. It is the fear of rejection that drives most male dating advice out there, be in from the outset or in the long term.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

17 and 18th century? WTF?

You can find this reflected in Roman times, if not further back.

And btw, it's a fear of put in by millions of years of evolution. Men don't wanna be cucked or in general have their precious resources put toward raising another man's offspring. It can only mean their genetics lose out.

Women don't know the feeling because, well, the kid is always theres. If their man fucks around, they secure less resources for their kids, and they want to prevent that of course, but it's not quite the same zero sum game for them.

[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

But humans early on fucked like bonobos, and in hunter gatherer societies men rarely knew whose child was whose. This is an even better system than the chauvinist one that redpill pretends exists, because it means that the community as a whole has a vested interest in protecting the children.

[–]ThorLivesSkeptical Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

But humans early on fucked like bonobos, and in hunter gatherer societies men rarely knew whose child was whose.

You don't know that.

I realize that it's the narrative behind "Sex at Dawn" (author: Christopher Ryan), but I'm highly suspicious of the accuracy of the book. (Someone wrote a rebuttal of the book called "Sex at Dusk" by the way, where they accuse Christopher Ryan of cherry-picking and generally not knowing much about anthropology. Heck, his education wasn't even in anthropology; it was in psychology.) It's also absurd to think that humans are like Bonobos (as Christopher Ryan likes to claim). Genetically, humans are almost equally related to three different great apes: Gorillas, Chimpanzees, and Bonobos. All three have very different mating structures, so it's very much cherry-picking for him to claim that humans and Bonobos were socially similar, as he does.

Christopher Ryan, by the way, decided in his early 20s that he didn't like practicing monogamy. I'm highly suspicious that "Sex at Dawn" is pseudo-science written to justify his own chosen lifestyle.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm really just providing a counter example to the red pill narrative of us being like chimps. The fact is we don't mate like any of the other great ape species because we're the only ones that allow all of our members to reproduce. The red pill narrative of alphas and betas and all that other silly shit is also a bunch of pseudoscience.

[–]Nerdgamergirl420mlg 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yikes...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not "nice" by our standards but it's the reason dudes didn't go around stomping other guys' children to death.

[–]Nerdgamergirl420mlg 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Not wanting to raise somebody else's sperm for 18+ years of your life =/= murdering children. "I'm saving the children" is an awful excuse for letting yourself get cucked. Maybe it's easy for those without any sense of pride to persuade themselves with their perceived moral high ground on the "it's for the children" front, but holy hell I would be third world kinds of miserable being that emasculated.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You realize we're talking about humans who lived for the first 100,000 to 200,000 years of our existence on earth, right?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

"Men and women are different" is all you're gonna get.

[–]Phokus1983 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's backed by science

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

I don't know, there are some solid RP commenters in this thread.

[–]rulenumber303 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

"men and women are different" is still their default response.

Sometimes if you argue them hard on the issue or you find a newish terper, you'll also get a whine about how they've got no alternative but to attempt to be manwhores because something something something cock carousel something something something no decent woman with a low count wants them and that means decent women with low counts don't exist something something something all the low count women who say they are skeeved by PUAs and the like couldn't possibly be telling the truth mumble mumble mumble

shrug From my perspective it looks like they are headed towards eventually settling with exactly the sort of woman who isn't skeeved out by high male counts but lies about her own count... and I think from their persective deep down they know they are too otherwise why would they be so obsessed with the possibility. But they will continue to claim they've got a special guy exemption on the ewww but where has it been factor.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

I do agree that most of TRP does not have a quality marriage in their future, but I don't think most people period have a much better chance. Still, I think you are right that their "spin plates till 35 then marry a 19 y/o virgin RPW" fantasy will not happen for most of them.

That being said, in my experience women care way less about sexual history than men, and way more of them are attracted to pre selection than disgusted by a promiscuous past.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

spin plates till 35 then marry a 19 y/o virgin RPW

Hahahaha! I never realized how crazy the idea was until you put it down in one sentence.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I know one guy who followed this model successfully, and even he admits it is largely a fluke, in spite of the fact that he is the RP success model: 6 foot tall, decent face, physically fit, 6 figure income in a cool/novelty job (music industry), and colossal status from knowing everyone's favorite band personally. He flat out told me he had given up on his real dream of having a happy family until he met his current SO.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It is crazy when the average girl is on her back at around 14~15 years old.

[–]rulenumber303 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Not being put off by someone else's past has a strong correlation with having a past of one's own. The assortive mating statistics tell that story loud and clear,

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

So if my past is in the low teens and her past is in the mid hundreds, what then?

Should this be equitable? Should it matter? All I know is for some psychological reason, it matters to me. I'm no spring chicken and my withdrawal from the jizz pool is doubtful any sort of loss, but if you poke enough holes in a bucket...

[–]rulenumber303 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

It is really up to you. One thing I can tell you... it isn't the men who were precious about their options that left offspring in the past. Most of our existence as a species we've lived in very small communities compared to modern cities, and if the only options were the fat possibly infertile 35 year old widow of the miller who came with a free flour mill, the retarded daughter of the village beggar, that 18 year old girl who had shamefully let a team of wandering mistrels take turns on her, and the 25 year old widow with four kids already, then you chose from amongst them or waited for a miracle. Highly eligible young ladies would have been more or less spoken for, their family would have had a fair idea who they were headed to from childhood. You'll be weeded out if you're too fussy and humanity will go on as it ever has.

Right now we're weeding out the people who don't really want kids so much they'll be willing to be realistic that they may never get one of the elite 1% of best possible partners, find a compromise and go with it. We're also weeding out men who get too distracted by porn. Its a temporary situation as we adjust to changing technology and larger social circles. An adjustment.

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

So you are "weeding" out unacceptable male spouses out of one side of your mouth and have a problem with men doing the same out of the other.

too distracted by porn reads too sucked in to an easy, pleasing, no-muss-no-fuss option when the alternative is such an uphill and often pointless struggle. I can definitely attest that porn lowers my mate-seeking drive, and I couldn't be more appreciative. I'm only on step 1 of being better looking and more successful. Without porn I'd have to settle for the miller's widow or the retard because here in reality women could give two shits about ethics or personality. That stuff only seems to start mattering when we're all too old to be considered attractive anymore. I'm sure I'll get a "well your personality clearly sucks" comment or two. No, I'm just not looking to impress you, so I'm being honest instead of bootlicking like most men you usually talk to. There was a point in time when as a young, delusional man I bought into love and romance. Only took a handful of women to figure out it's nonsense.

[–]rulenumber303 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

and have a problem with men doing the same out of the other.

I don't have a problem with people choosing mates to their preferences from those available. No problem at all.

The approach much of TRP is using to the issues involved, however, is likely to give them problems passing on their genes since there aren't enough of the mates they'd truly prefer and are unlikely to ever be enough of them. There weren't enough of them, ever.

We live in a situation we haven't evolved to deal with yet, where pretty much all of us must watch hundreds of people we'd very much have chosen... go off and get with someone else. Over and over again. A thousand times as much rejection as the average villager would have suffered 500 years ago, and without the saving grace of being forced to settle by the logistics of surviving in a small town or a tribe. Unless one recognises that one must make settling decisions and then find ways to implement those logical decisions happily, ones genes aren't going to survive this slight bottlenecking we are experiencing.

But other people's problems are... their problems. Worthy of note by me, interesting to think and talk about, but not really worth of me attempting to intervene in any way. If you're bowing out of the race, well seeya... or rather it is unlikely my great great great grandaughters will be seeing so many men like you.

[–]Phokus1983 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

But we back up 'men and women are different' with science though

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]rulenumber303 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

And yet the assortive mating statistics show that in general, low count women are marrying low count men. This is reality.

I think a lot of it is pure revulsion of the you aren't putting that thing in me I don't know where it has been but I can hazard a guess and ewwwwwwwww sort. Entirely sensible, if you don't want to be suddenly gifted with every possible strain of crotch bacteria, yeast and virus.

Which means that high count women are the ones who will tend to be willing to marry guys who have been players. So eventually they'll probably find a high count women who is willing to lie about her count. shrug Like an oncoming train.

If you want low count women then keeping your count in the bounds of normality is probably a good idea. I mean seriously, you're capable of having preferences and so are women.

[–]Phokus1983 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But that still shows that high count women are awful and a high count man are screwed if they marry a high count woman. Where's the equity in that?

And don't pretend that women don't lie and mismatches occur either. That's a double tragedy for a man who kept himself relatively chaste marrying a slut.

Men and Women ARE different, that's the point.

[–]DaThrowaway808<('.'<) (>'.')> 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I am of the belief that it has an effect on men as well.

[–]Villaintine╰▄︻▄╯ 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

There was a study posted at one point that showed a similar but far less pronounced effect on men. For those men who want more from women than just getting their dick wet being a ride on the cock carousel isn't the best plan.

[–]DaThrowaway808<('.'<) (>'.')> 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm aware and from a logical stand point I could understand why, but I am not or will ever try to become a high N count man because I know it would most likely destroy MY ability to ever settle down.

[–]DevilishRogueKnows more than you 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't a man with a similarly high N count have proved the exact same thing?

To some degree, yes, but women are generally attracted to guys who are able to be sexually successful (even if the act of achieving sexual success may be off-putting). Ideally most women would probably like a guy who was able to sleep with whoever they wanted but chose just one woman i.e. them. Such men don't exist outside of Twilight fan fiction however.

[–]IRScientistSober 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I think I've seen an answer along the lines of "But she'll be thinking about how she had better sex with some other dude" at times, but it's rare.

[–]Phokus1983 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's called being an alpha widow. And it's backed up by science

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women are naturally pre-disposed to only give sex towards men they deserve as worthy, and this is determined by a thousand little things that let them now their worth, as well as having an idea of the absolute value of all men.

If a woman is sleeping with a lot of men, it means that she does not have a proper evaluation of her self worth. She either has very low self-worth and will sleep with a lot of men to try to prop it up, or she has an incorrect view of her worth to men, and confuses the fact that they will sleep with her, with the belief that she is as good as that man, because she only wants to sleep with the best men she can get.

How is a man supposed to trust this sort of woman? Men want women who understand their worth to the other sex through commitment, not sex, because the woman a man commits to will always be able to get sex from a higher value man, and if she has that thought tied to her self-worth, she's probably going to go for it when the situation is right.

Conversely, a woman who only sleeps with men that she has serious relationships with (maybe one or two exceptions) has a solid grasp of her value to men, and thus she will seek the male of the highest SMV that she can get to commit, and she will value that commitment and the relationship.

Women who sleep around a lot are unlikely to properly value commitment, or have their hypergamy in check. They are unable to accept what their SMV is

[–]haircombsnightmare 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure you can check. But...

  • It doesn't guarantee it'll work well.
  • It doesn't guarantee the one you didn't chose wouldn't have worked well.
  • It doesn't give you a right to discredit what you didn't chose.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You're allowed to your preferences.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When banks give you loans, they check credit ratings. When people buy cars, they check its condition and mileage. When employers hire people, they check the applicant's criminal record history and his resume. The past matters, especially when dating; TRP is incontrovertibly correct on this issue...

No argument.

[–]WS6GrumblesPill Browser 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought this was a debate subreddit. Lotta pussing out in comments. Also, title as neutral as possible?

[–]rulenumber303 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

Well go do your background checks then. No-one is going to stop you asking questions. However if you're kind of on the auty side of things and ask those questions at the wrong time and in the wrong situation you're going to set off girls' creep alarms. Getting to ask those questions without being told to fuck off costs you, you need to have spent enough time with the person and be attractive enough to them that they want to tell you. There is no right to know, that information is personal and if someone doesn't want to tell you they don't have to. Simple as that.

As a woman with a low count I'm amazed at the number of TRPs here who seem to see it as their right to just be told that sort of information straight up. If I was single again, what would be in it for me in telling a guy my count so early on? Absolutely nothing. I don't want a guy to include that information in whether he's attracted enough to me in the first place to bother spending a bit of time getting to know me, that's a recipe for ending up with weirdo purity fetishists amongst your suitors.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

You are aware that RP advises you not to ask a woman her n count ? Because they lie.

If you are genuinely interested in a LTR prospect you are supposed to find out through other means (conversations with mutual friends, knowledge of her past etc.)

What you aren't supposed to do is ask a women and accept that answer, because it will be artificially reduced.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -5 points-4 points-3 points 11 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

they lie.

How do you even know this?

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link

In this case... There are several reasons to believe this...

  • Scientific studies bear out that women lie about their n count, even if it's just for a study and no real world consequences would be incurred.

  • In the real world there is a high incentive to lie, and none to tell the truth, given the average males instinctual response.

  • anecdotal evidence also strongly suggests lying about n count is common. I've experinced this in my life with past GFs

  • you would expect humans to maximise their attractiveness to oppositte sex partners they wish to land. Lying here helps do so.

Basically, men add a few to their number... And women take a few away... RP recognises this as extremely common behaviour and therefore advises finding some independent way of assessing. Usually chatting to friends and family, and working out rough numbers from there.

EDIT: Just wanted to say I'd also assume a man was lying too in the gender reversed version. Incentives aren't quite so high the other way round.... But I'd assume a man giving me an n count was lying too. Just the other way. Men's incentives are to "not appear a clueless near-Virgin" so male counts of 0-1-2-3 are likely to be reported as 4-5-6-7..... Similarly female counts of 20-30-40 are likely to be reports as 7-8-9-10. It's just people responding to incentives, that's how humans work.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

  1. Why? Is it to make themselves look more attractive? Really?

  2. Yeah, it's not instinctual. I couldn't care any less about what count my partner has, and neither could healthy adult people either.

  3. I've experienced the opposite. So this theory is now in real danger as 50% of the evidence suggest the opposite.

  4. I haven't lied about my partner count since I was 16. At that time I thought I would seem cooler if I kind of laid back mentioned that my partner count was high. Little did I know, I did it because I was sixteen and thought that mattered.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Why? Is it to make themselves look more attractive? Really?

No. Consider the situation... She appears to have landed a guy "she really digs" and they are having the kind of conversations the presage an LTR, her desired goal state.

The brass ring is within reach... Then he asks about n count.

There is a big upside, and little downside to "knocking a few off" her number.... There is a potentially big downside, and no real upside to being truthful.

So, because she wants to grab the brass ring... And because a "little white lie" will help... She tells a "Little white lie."

Just as he would if his n count was 2. He's facing a similar incentive to bump that to 4 or 5.

Yeah, it's not instinctual. I couldn't care any less about what count my partner has, and neither could healthy adult people either.

It is instinctual. I know your rational brain don't care. Old mammal brain is fine with this... But male lizard brains care.

I know you can't find a rational reason to prefer a count of 5 over 155.... But you don't need one... Lizard brain knows... When you're going out with a girl who you think is 5, and you discover is 55, whatever your rational brain says lizard brain changes the feels.

Eventually, you won't dig her as much as you used to. You'll probably have no idea why, and will rationalise it as something else.

I've experienced the opposite. So this theory is now in real danger as 50% of the evidence suggest the opposite.

Really ? Women have artificially inflated their count when talking to you ? A 20 count woman lied and said 50 ?

What was your reaction when she did ?

I haven't lied about my partner count since I was 16. At that time I thought I would seem cooler if I kind of laid back mentioned that my partner count was high. Little did I know, I did it because I was sixteen and thought that mattered.

I agree, I've never lied about it. I have met many women that did, that very often were happy to openly admit they did to fellow women and to males off their market.

In fact, so much so, that I'd consider this standard female advice to other females.. That if this subject come up on a GNO, most of the girls after a few drinks would say "Jeez Girl, lower your count a bit. It won't hurt, might help. Just say 6 instead of 16. What are you ? Dumb or something ? If you think he cares, best err on the side of a low count".

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

What is the upside to lie? What is it my lizard brain says to me? Why do you like her less because she has been with more men?

I couldn't think of anything at all, so please tell me. "Leftovers" won't do, left overs are food, not sex. Someone elses yoghurt is also food, and not sex. LTR is long term relationship right? Tell me what my lizard brain says to me about a girl I'm in a LTR with who has been with more men than I've been with women, please. I used to think that was bad, back when I though I was a bad lay, I used to think they better be with less men or they'll know... They'll know I am bad in bed. Is it only because of that? I don't know, all I know is that now that I'm aware that I'm actually a great lay, I don't care anymore.

"Women have artificially inflated their count when talking to you ?"

That's not the point, the point is you "evidence" isn't evidence. You may say that everyone yu'll ever meet is A and not B and it'll still be under a thousand. And also, I've been with women who had a high count even if she was lying. I didn't react at all.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

You're missing the point. I am my mammal brain. I don't like lizard all that much and he ain't me.

It wouldn't affect my rational assessment of her, just my feels towards her. Just as a disfiguring accident would do the same. I can rationally decide to continue, I just won't have the same automatic "she's a hot LTR prospect" feels I once had.

I regard this as an extremely common "lizard brain" reaction. Women should take note. YMMV, of course... But if you are a chick... If give you pretty good odds of it affecting the guys assessment of you, if only subconsciously.

I call them as I see them. In this case it is pure serendipity that scientific studies back this up... Scientific studies have shown women understate the n count by up to 50% in a study where no one would judge. I suspect it's even higher when talking to that "cool guy you dig, who you're trying to get to dig you back".

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

But there is no comparison between a train victim and one who had more sex than you, surely? What about high partner count would change your feeling toward her?

I expect your answer to be "because she'll cheat" and I'll just say that if you had a high partner-count but, for a period sought after LTR, would you cheat? If yes, then hell, we're all human huh. If no, then why the fuck not.. I mean why would you think that of her? AWALT is bullshit and you know it, so cut the crap. (E: Just saw your link to marriedredpill, I'll read it so disregard this for now)

You can blame it on your lizard if you want but that isn't really helpful for the discussion.

[–]TheGreasyPoleObjectively Pro-moderate filth 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

But there is no comparison between a train victim and one who had more sex than you, surely? What about high partner count would change your feeling toward her?

Well there are, I would argue, rational reasons as well (she's more likely to be an alpha widow for example, she's more likely to be viewing you as a BB etc). But for this argument these are immaterial.

The disfiguring train accident changed nothing either. She is arguably a better "LTR match" after the accident, rationally, as she is less likely to cheat (less opportunity).

Lizard brain doesn't give a fuck. Facial disfigurment ? She less hot. Cockmonster ? She's a less good LTR prospect, a better plate.

Lizard brains don't give a shit. The "give a shit" part of you is up in mammal brain, and he only controls the thoughts NOT the feels.

You can't control your feelings. Only td exude whether to act on them. Few realise there is a choice to be made.

Read my AWALT post. If you want to argue with me about AWALT do an OP based on my views there. I will comment.

[–]TheNoobyOneHehe 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm not a jealous man, but...

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]ThePantsThiefRed Pill Attack-Helicopter 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

There's several threads on /r/askwomen and /r/askrelationships where women admit to lying about it. See for yourself

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

wow, several? better suspect them all cause you can't know and what if theres a guy with a bigger dick than you oh how terrible. jealousy is based on a fractured self image, which many suffer from today, especially men who feel they are inferior (i.e thinking that they are beta and need to become alpha) and that's where rp comes in with all the answers. it's basically the same process as for nazis. (i'm not comparing you to nazis, just the "recruitment" process. it's so simple yet you make it so difficult for yourselves.

treat humans as humans, regardless of gender.

you don't have to do anything for anyone if you don't feel like it, and especially not because they have a different gender. you don't have to be too cool for school. anyway. have a nice day!!

[–]wazzup987Blue pill, you can beat me black & blue for it later 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

Sure No one in the BP camp would disagree, that being said, The metrics RP looks at are garbage.

[–]Phokus1983 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Riiiiiiiiiight

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]wazzup987Blue pill, you can beat me black & blue for it later -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

thats not a biased study at all

[–]Phokus1983 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, UVA, a typical lefty campus with batshit crazy feminists (see: the rolling stone debacle) produced a 'biased' study that made women look bad.

[–]wazzup987Blue pill, you can beat me black & blue for it later -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok multiple things More relationship experience means you have a more holistic view of relationship rather than being some babe in the woods. if your success vector is the marriage stay together than consider very unhappily married people who stay together. staying together isn't some thing to always pine after.

[–]Phokus1983 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

Did you even read the damn study? It's ABOUT happiness.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This.

If I were to buy a car, my father would come have a look at it. Maybe he'd pop the hood and look around, he'd give the tires a good kick, he'd check the papers and he'd make a really important face while doing so and then tell me exactly what he thinks of the car and pass his judgement, convinced that he's an expert who is to be trusted without question... but in reality his opinion is useless because he knows jack shit about cars.

TIL my father is TRP for cars.

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure thing

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]wazzup987Blue pill, you can beat me black & blue for it later -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

YES ALL DADS

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

If she was a bad girlfriend to all of her exs then don't date her.

If she has a high N but been a good loyal girlfriend to the few men that she was in a relationship with then that N doesn't matter.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago* (31 children) | Copy Link

Okay. So what about when she was essentially a cum-dumpster sorority girl who was just "finding herself" in her (looks-wise) prime years, but she swears that she's ready to settle down now and build a family with a stable source of income nice guy?

Or does this phenomenon never occur according to blue-pillers?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Was she not ready to settle before? Why does having a sex life mean "finding herself"?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

She was not ready to settle before.

I don't think it means "finding herself", it's just the typical excuse I've received from promiscuous women who want a stable man now. I believe this excuse is absolute bullshit.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

So all young men are ready to settle at anytime? Do men never break up with women?

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Large numbers of men would absolutely settle with young women but can't because the women are "finding themselves"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. There are many young men who avoid relationships like the plague. I met tons of them in college who were very vocal about it. Most men propose and want to get married when they are financially stable. Not because the girl in front of them is young and hot. Sleep with? Sure. Marry? No.

Most men who get to the point of becoming stable usually meet their future wife through their social group who are most likely their age or a couple of years younger. Hence why the average marriage age for men is 29 and women are 27.

This is why I think very young women are not getting married. They are being told by their male peers that it is not the time to get married. Young women can date a man 10 years older than her if she really want to get married but most would rather wait for someone closer in age.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. There are many young men who avoid relationships like the plague. I met tons of them in college who were very vocal about it.

Ever wonder why? I know more than a few bright eyed young guys who entered uni filled with the find a girl and settle down dream, exposure to uni quickly taught them such girls are mostly an illusion at least for now.

Most men propose and want to get married when they are financially stable

In my experience it's more like, they become financially stable and suddenly it's an option, they wanted it before but realized a guy without the bucks is one of many. After a year or so of uni they either double down and become nice guys or quickly realize bad guys get to finish where they want.

[–]bunnylumps 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There are some guys who go to college with the intent to find a long-term girlfriend, sure, and there are just as many if not more who go to college with the intention to party, drink, and fuck as many girls as possible and have unattached, noncommittal fun. Such is the allure of college and of youth, it's been going on since time immemorial. Now some of the relationship-seeking men are going to become jaded by this lifestyle and get angry at women. Maybe it's that the girls they are most attracted to tend to be more promiscuous, or maybe they got burned by a girlfriend they thought they trusted.

Relationship-minded young women, too, encounter promiscuous guys who have no intention of settling down until they are older. Some of these relationship-seekers become jaded and get angry at men. Maybe its that the guys they are attracted to tend to be more promiscuous, or maybe they got burned by a guy they thought they trusted. It's the human condition, you have just projected your own insecurities onto it.

Your experiences are not universal.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I guess we will agree to disagree on which one is causing what. It's quite possible that both genders are telling each other it's not the right time because people usually date within their educational level.

I read somewhere that men get married later the more education they pursue. High school degree only men get married the youngest and graduates get married the oldest. I'm confident that it's the same for women.

My boyfriend had several women wanting to marry him after he graduated high school. Nothing of this women were going to college. He went straight to work and so did they.

At my college, only devout Christian wanted to get married while they were in.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I guess we will agree to disagree on which one is causing what. It's quite possible that both genders are telling each other it's not the right time because people usually date within their educational level.

Look at history, the cliché used to be, go to university for your Mrs Degree, now feminism teaches women they can get their own(a good thing) and that they can just act like dudes in the mean time and things will sort themselves out.

I read somewhere that men get married later the more education they pursue. High school degree only men get married the youngest and graduates get married the oldest. I'm confident that it's the same for women.

I'd agree partially, lack of education in both sexes does tend to go hand in hand with lack of long term goals/planning.

I doubt it's the same for women now what with all the glut of approaching/in thirties women with degrees/education complaining that the equivalent men are not there, I think most women now that get married are the slightly younger mid twenties range, go later and you not only have men not interested but also less of them as their are now less and less ,men in higher education.

My boyfriend had several women wanting to marry him after he graduated high school. Nothing of this women were going to college. He went straight to work and so did they.

He didn't marry because it wasn't a viable/sensible option, the girls on the other hand recognize it as one of their few options where additional education is not available.

At my college, only devout Christian wanted to get married while they were in.

Eerie shit mang.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree that young attractive men avoid relationships, because they prefer sexual variety and are confident they can settle down with a quality woman later. I think this is a selective observation fallacy, where you are noticing attractive guys because they are attractive, but average and below guys simply do not have the same sexual options and would happily settle down with an average girl, they just don't get the chance until they have enough resources stockpiled.

[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much this. Most men in my circle were adamantly against settling down because "they weren't ready."

This could mean they weren't ready to stop being manwhores. Could mean they weren't ready because they weren't financially stable. Could mean they weren't ready because they were still enjoying the joys of living alone and not having to factor anyone else into their daily decision making.

Or all of the above.

Either way these men were not jumping at the chance of LTRs in college or directly after college.

They are now. I'm in the mid 20s range.

But certainly not before.

Anyway TRP loves blaming women. When really society teaches men and women not to jump into something too serious too soon.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. There are many young men who avoid relationships like the plague. I met tons of them in college who were very vocal about it. Most men propose and want to get married when they are financially stable. Not because the girl in front of them is young and hot. Sleep with? Sure. Marry? No.

Most men who get to the point of becoming stable usually meet their future wife through their social group who are most likely their age or a couple of years younger. Hence why the average marriage age for men is 29 and women are 27.

This is why I think very young women are not getting married. They are being told by their male peers that it is not the time to get married. Young women can date a man 10 years older than her if she really want to get married but most would rather wait for someone closer in age.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Do all men propose to young women?

[–]17b29a 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

What about it?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Is the decision influenced by a genuine change of heart on her part?

Or is the decision influenced by the noticeably fading looks as she approaches 30, the desire to not look like a whore to her family and peers, and the biological clock ticking (for child-bearing)?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The decision comes from the moment a man is proposing to her. Why are you ruling out the man in your equation?

[–]17b29a 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women would just have meaningless sex until they die if not for those factors you mean?

[–]noodles99 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Men are not immortal. Look at one who died today, 47 with heart attack. Red pill tells men spin plates until you are middle aged and then wife up a much younger woman. What do you have to offer her but bad genetic material and increased risk of disease or death at that point? 30 is a good time for both to marry, same age together.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

TRP says not to get married, but okay.

[–]noodles99 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Just settle down with? Knock her up but don't put a ring on it? Then these men have even less to offer young women since the only thing they would see in an old guy to start is financial security and stability.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You'd be surprised how many young women are physically attracted to dramatically older men.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And yet May-December marriages are still a tiny exception to the rule...

Age differences create all kinds of problems in a relationship. One, one of you has to deal with spending all your time with an immature partner. Two, the other one has to be fine with the power imbalance often inherent to these marriages.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This, in all my time on okcupid one of the main points i've noticed is, a woman mostly want guys at least a few years older than them, their own age at a pinch.

[–]BowsNToes21 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't that the same thing that the older woman is looking for? At least in this trade-off you get a younger girl with less baggage.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think that TRP has a solid consensus on this. I still see plenty of debate.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, you don't. The only TRPers talking about marriage are the ones who were married before they found it.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to stop watching american pie every other day.

[–]foxmulders -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

A person's history of sexual partners isn't really relevant. You're comparing two very different situations. Banks aren't reviewing a persons's history because they're insecure and scared.

[–]alexdelargeorange 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Banks aren't reviewing a persons's history because they're insecure and scared.

Ummm yes they are. They're insecure and scared about losing investments. Otherwise they'd hand out loans to any old mug.

[–]foxmulders -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I should have clarified: Banks aren't reviewing a person's history because they're insecure about another bank's penis size, height, etc.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

TIL minimising risks makes you insecure. When was the last time you ate raw chicken?

[–]foxmulders -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Lol, the risk of what exactly?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Being cheated on, relationship being substandard, STDs.

Why, given the choice, would you choose to be with someone who has a history of not having long term relationships over someone who does? Why haven't they been able to keep a guy? What are they lacking or doing wrong?

[–]foxmulders -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

So because someone has had a sexual history they're more likely to cheat on you? Even if these were just one night stands? Having a lot sex doesn't mean you'll be a cheater. Maybe they haven't kept a guy because they didn't want to keep one.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd rather not be someone's first real relationship experiment, thanks. Likely for much the same reason that women don't want to fuck virgins.

[–]foxmulders 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So... insecurity? I figured.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, because I don't see the point in wasting time like that. If I'm going into a relationship at this point, it's because I expect it to last. That ain't happening with someone's first relationship. So why waste my time?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Not really, minimizing risks and covering all fields of knowledge about your partner can and will make you more jealous, because you realize it is just not possible to KNOW. Therefore, there is something wrong with YOU, not your knowledge. It is YOU who have trust issues.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

It might make you jealous. Stop projecting.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Go on and check her facebook messages. I will guarantee you that it will make it worse.

It is a self-image problem that she will leave you for someone "better" even though she genuinely thinks you're the "best". I'm not projecting.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

That I want to have a partner who I can trust to be a good partner doesn't mean that I have issues with jealousy. Again, stop projecting.

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, trusting her is equal to minimizing risks of her cheating on you.

I'm not projecting.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I trust people that I have reason to trust. How do you get reason to trust, again?

[–]fratzeI'm not red pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

How do you get reason to trust, again?

I also want to know how you do that. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You could do that, or you could look for disqualifying factors.

[–]Phokus1983 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes it is relevant, stop spreading lies

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]foxmulders 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This has nothing to with what I said... But since you're here, and I'm not gonna read that whole thing, why were their husbands such flops?

[–]Phokus1983 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What do you mean it has 'nothing' to do with what you said?

A person's history of sexual partners isn't really relevant.

Reality says otherwise:

http://i.imgur.com/DnMjpl3.jpg

[–]foxmulders 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry to waste your time, but i think it's oblivious I'll need a few more studies than this to convince me

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I just want to give them a fair chance, you know?

I'm genuinely open to new ideas, and I feel like I might be too brainwashed by /r/TheRedPill . Or maybe, you know, like the Red Pill makes TOO MUCH sense? Like it's too convenient?

I'm having trouble articulating my sentiment, but I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying.

[–]drok007Not white enough to be blue pill 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I just made a post about analogies. BPers have had a lot of problems with them in the past. They refuse to divorce the concepts with the people most of the times, and you will get a lot of answers not addressing the topic.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

you will get a lot of answers not addressing the topic.

Even if I do get that, I'll be happy. At least I'll know which side deals with reality, and which side deals with non-factual emotional drivel.

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

When banks give you loans, they check credit ratings. When people buy cars, they check its condition and mileage. When employers hire people, they check the applicant's criminal record history and his resume

Okay, what I'm taking from this is that TRP thinks all women are criminal loan sharks just waiting to steal your car.

MISOGYNISTIC BASTARDS!

[–]DaThrowaway808<('.'<) (>'.')> 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Straw straw in the thread

How shall we beat you dead

Points xyz (when we're talking abc)

Seems like misogyny to me

[–]saltinadojust tylenol's fine, thanks 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Did you come up with that just now? Because props if so.

[–]wazzup987Blue pill, you can beat me black & blue for it later 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If more women were like.......

[–]drok007Not white enough to be blue pill -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha, I like you.

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

I agree that the past matters. where I differ from TRPers is that they seem to think the past only matters if you're a woman. As far as they are concerned, MEN can do whatever they want with whomever they want without it affecting their worth or desirability, "because evolution."

[–]Phokus1983 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

Stop pretending high partner counts affect both genders equally.

http://nationalmarriageproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/NMP-BeforeIDoReport-Final.pdf

But that’s not most people. In our sample, only 23 percent of the individuals who got married over the course of the study had had sex solely with the person they married. That minority of men and women reported higher marital quality than those who had had sex with other partners prior to marriage. We further found that the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be. This association was not statistically significant for men.

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link

This is the study that gets pointed to every time TRPers want to justify their "high partner count affects women but not men" view. So I finally bit the bullet and actually read this study. For those of you who are interested, here is my review:

After skimming through the methods and results sections, I have to say, the methodology isn't that bad. In particular, I like the fact that they used a prospective design, meaning they recruited participants who were unmarried (i.e., had not experienced the outcome of interest) but were in relationships (i.e, 'at risk' for experiencing the outcome) and then they followed these people for five years. I also like the fact that they used multi-level modeling in their analysis, although I would have liked to see a little more detail about their statistical strategy. The sample size was also pretty decent - they recruited 1,294 individuals, 418 of whom experienced the outcome and were included in the analyses.

They measured marital quality using 4-items from the 32 item Dyadic Adjustment Scale. The items are as follows: "This measure includes items about relationship happiness, thoughts about dissolution, frequency of confiding in one another, and a general item about how well things are going between the partners." Marital quality was then operationalized as a continuous score ranging from 0 to 21.

They found a statistically significant, negative association between number of previous partners and their continuous measure of marital quality, such that scores on the 4-item dyadic adjustment scale decreased by .04 for every additional pre-marital sexual partner. When they examined this association separately by gender, they found that the association was slightly stronger in women (.06) and weaker in men (.004). They also found that the association ceased to be statistically significant in men, but it is important to note that the sample was 65% women, meaning that statistical power for detecting a significant effect was lower for men than for women. Because of this difference in statistical power, comparisons based on p values are somewhat untrustworthy. I would like to see the beta coefficient and p value for the cross-product interaction term, but I was not able to find this in the report.

This is not a terrible study, but by itself, it in no way proves that high partner count in women is detrimental to marital quality but high partner count in men is not, as TRPers suggest. For starters, the findings need to be replicated in different samples, and with different measures of marital quality. You would also need to explore other potential confounders: the study controlled for race/ethnicity, years of education, personal income, religiousness and frequency of attendance at religious services, however they did not control for other variables that might be associated both with previous partner count and marital quality, such as (off the top of my head) history of mental illness or childhood sexual abuse.

Finally, keep in mind that the coefficients represent average effects. A beta coefficient of -.06 means that if the average marital quality score in women with 4 previous partners is 19, then the average marital quality score in women with 5 previous partners is 18.94. Not only is this a small overall difference, but it in no way precludes the possibility of some, individual women with 5 previous partners having higher marital quality scores than some women with 4 previous partners.

In sum, this study is not the smoking gun TRPers seem to think it is.

edit: fixed maths

[–]Phokus1983 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

It's the best study we have so far. When i first posted this study, i've been countered with garbage studies from BP. A particular mod of this subreddit countered with a study with a sample size of 50 (so 25 couples) from some eastern european country and pretended our studies were equal. The sample size is superior to any other study i've seen so far.

Finally, keep in mind that the coefficients represent average effects. A beta coefficient of -.06 means that if the average marital quality score in women with 4 previous partners is 19, then the average marital quality score in women with 5 previous partners is 18.94. Not only is this a small overall difference, but it in no way precludes the possibility of some, individual women with 5 previous partners having higher marital quality scores than some women with 4 previous partners.

There are two large inflection points, 2+ partners and 10+ partners

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=http://img.washingtonpost.com/news/rampage/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2014/08/Screen-Shot-2014-08-26-at-9.39.40-AM-e1409066252786.png&w=1484

Considering young women are far sluttier and marry way later, the 10+ partner count should be quite common amongst western women (not to mention women tend to lie like hell about their partner count).

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

It's the best study we have so far.

That's fine. But in that case, it would be more honest of you (the plural you - I'm not trying to single you out personally) to present this idea as a theory with some supporting evidence rather than as a fact.

As for the inflection points, could you point me towards the actual article? I can't evaluate the information presented in that graph without knowing where it came from. What was the sample size? Where was the data collected? What other variables were controlled for? How was quality of marriage measured?

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

The image from the washington post refers to the study i posted.

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

oh, ok. Well, in that case, all of my previous points stand: these results need to be replicated in a different sample with a different measure. Alone, they are simply a piece of evidence. One piece of evidence doesn't prove anything.

One thing that is impossible to tease out from this study is whether, if this effect is true, it is due to the actual behavior of sleeping with multiple men, or whether it's due to cultural norms surrounding promiscuity. This study was conducted in virginia, so I'm guessing the individuals in this sample grew up in a culture where promiscuity was considered a bad thing. This could be a very important factor, because in a society that discourages having multiple partners, the people who go ahead and have multiple partners anyway are likely different in some (likely many) ways than the people who abide by cultural norms. It would be interesting to see results of a study like this conducted in a European country where attitudes towards sex are less puritanical.

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

1) Virginia isn't homogenous, NoVa is quite liberal

2) I don't see where it says the participants were all from virginia:


Data for the analyses in this report come from the Relationship Development Study at the University of Denver, which was initially funded by the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. In 2007 and 2008, a calling center used a targeted-list sampling strategy to recruit 1,294 participants who were unmarried at the time, but in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, into the longitudinal Relationship Development Study. The 418 participants who married over the course of the next five years are the focus of the analyses conducted for this report. They were between the ages of 18 and 40 during the study. Comparing the make-up of the larger sample to 2010 Census data indicates that it was reasonably representative of unmarried adults in the United States in terms of race/ethnicity and income, though the sample included more women (65 percent) than men. In the report, before- and after-marriage data from an average of nine waves and multilevel modeling were used to prospectively estimate how premarital characteristics are related to marital quality. Marital quality was measured by the four-item version of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale, a scale that includes items about marital happiness, confiding in one another, believing things are going well in the relationship, and thoughts of divorce (Sabourin, Valois, & Lussier, 2005; Spanier, 1976). The analyses described in this report control for the following factors: race/ethnicity, years of education, personal income, religiousness (i.e., “All things considered, how religious would you say you are?”), and frequency of attendance at religious services. Findings with and without the control variables are included in Table 2 in the Appendix. The primary findings discussed in this report analyze the outcome, marital quality, as a continuous measure. To facilitate a visual representation of the associations in this report, we illustrate key findings by graphing the percentage of individuals who fall in the top 40 percent of marital quality. This cut point was selected by inspection of the distribution. While it is somewhat arbitrary, we reasoned that these people are not just doing “above average” in their marriages, but are doing quite well. Dichotomizing marital quality in this way provides a means to display groups’ relative likelihood of reporting higher levels of marital quality.

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

oh, ok so the study was conducted in Denver. Were the participants also living in Denver? Regardless, I think it would be interesting to compare results from America to results from a more sexually open country.

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, denver, the place that legalized weed, such a restrictive place.

Why the fuck do we need another country? We live in america. This study (and others) points to the fact that sluts are awful LTR's. On a practical matter, that's all that matters.

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Oh, btw, lots of studies back up the study i posted

http://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2har17/why_does_trp_disparage_sluts/ckqzn57

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This response was triggered because you linked to reddit without using the "no-participation" np domain. Reddit links should be of the form "np.reddit.com" or "np.redd.it"

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Personally, I don't find blog posts by markedly biased individuals to be very convincing. I think the article you posted first was far more convincing, so good for you for leading with that.

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Click the studies IN the blog posts. Stop being disingenuous.

[–]cherryblue12Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You claim you have supporting evidence, then you send me a link to a post with more links to blogs with, you claim, studies somewhere buried inside them that support your claim. If this evidence does in fact exist, you've made it so difficult to find that it almost precludes anyone taking it seriously.

If you would like me to evaluate this evidence, it would be useful for you to provide a more accessible summary. Perhaps create an evidence table with columns for the study, the date of publication, a description of the sample, the sample size, main findings, etc.

[–]Phokus1983 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

studies somewhere buried inside them

Nigga, you serious?

So this blog post, for example:

http://socialpathology.blogspot.com.tr/2010/09/statistical-adjustments-to-promiscuity.html

It was a headache for you to find the two studies it linked to?

http://s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/2003/pdf/Bookofcharts.pdf

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf

It's hard to take you seriously at all.

clicks link Damn that was a hard day's work right there.

Browse all authors
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter