Let's talk generalities. Ladies, be you red blue or periwinkle, how often do you encounter rude unpleasant men? Men, vice versa.

am_thro_way · 2014-09-02T11:47:37+00:00

Rarely. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I met someone who was notably rude to me. That said, I don't have the most active social life.

workerbeebuzz · 2014-09-02T12:03:10+00:00

Thankfully not very often. I come across some bizarre attitudes and sexist drivel pretty regularly, but someone having a go at me? That sort of drama laden crapola earths out sometime in your mid 20s. The fencing contractor who was more comfortable speaking with my 9yo son than me because "I don't usually deal with women" was amusing, but relaxed eventually. He was an older gentleman, so comes from a generation where women were seen and not heard in my industry.

BorMato · 2014-09-02T16:07:09+00:00

I rarely encounter rude men and women in my day to day life. However, when out at places where people tend to meet, hookup, such as a bar or club I'd say I meet way more rude women than men.

Now one might read this and say, "Well BorMato, you're obviously gonna meet more rude women than men if women are the people you are approaching more often." This is a logical response.

However, I am in a committed LTR and do not approach women very often like I used to, yet I still see more rude women.

To be more descriptive, the "rudeness" I speak of in these women is usually 3 things: They are obnoxious (SHOTS!!! GIRLS NIGHT! WHAAAA), manipulative(Hey, wanna buy me a drink for no other reason than that I think I can use this tight dress and poppin titties to manipulate your small man-brain into buying it). And lastly, and this is the biggest one, entitled (Let's just cut to the front of the line, we're hot chicks and the bouncers let us get away with it. Or "That creep tried to come up and dance with me, I feel gross now." )

I think the entitlement is the one that I see the most and is, IMO, one of the biggest challenges facing men in the dating market. I feel too many women go out and offer nothing more than their pussies yet expect a hot prince to swipe them off their feet.

The typical rude man I meet at these places is just usually that drunk prick who wants to fight everyone.

GridReXX · 2014-09-02T14:48:34+00:00

Once a week I'll encounter a rude ("fucking bitches) or uncouth ("what up sweet tits") guy, but I would have encountered countless other generally pleasant/cool guys.

Generally speaking some men and women I encounter test my patience constantly, but most don't.

So my POV is that most people are for the most part "alright."

Exner2 · 2014-09-02T15:37:37+00:00

I encounter rude/ unpleasant men AND women multiple times a week. But the context is important, as I work in the middle of a major metropolitan area in a hospital setting, and the patients (and many staff!) are all pretty tough. But I also encounter lovely people with far greater frequency. I see no overall difference between men and women in the rate of unpleasant behavior, though it may manifest differently.

Lucy_Furr · 2014-09-02T12:40:20+00:00

at least once a week (in broad daylight environments). in nightlife environments, at least one or two every time I go out.

what makes them unpleasant? usually in the broad daylight environments (friends of friends, walking down the street, etc.) it can be the guy is talking down to me and assuming that i'm not intelligent enough to understand something. Example, i went to a presentation in a language other than english and a man who spoke the language fluently asked me how much i understood and immediately answered himself "nothing, huh?"

both in my hometown and out i have had guys yell at me and throw a fit when i refuse to give them my contact information/name because they had the gall to start a conversation with me (though this is a bit extreme and has happened maybe 8 or 9 times in my life). a lot of guys assume i want their dick when i definitely don't. also guys get in my personal physical space too goddamn fast.

when it comes to guys i've gone on dates with (a lot of first dates), i have met a lot of guys who preemptively make judgments and kind of talk about their hostility toward women in casual conversation. i met this one guy who brought up splitting the check before the food even came out. i was already prepared to pay for my own food, but the timing seemed kind of rude. plus there are the guys who ask for sexual favors after spending like 3 hours together (small percentage, but it happens). just disgusting.

i do have a high amount of person-to-person interaction. i went to a public university with 40,000 people, i met at least 100 other people at my old job, plus 15-20 new clients each shift (mixture of genders), and i have been traveling for the past 2 1/2 months and had 1-to-1 conversations with at least 60 different men.

Melodyheart · 2014-09-02T14:18:16+00:00

Honestly, after middleschool/first half of high school, I have rarely encountered rude men. I work in the food industry, and it's clear that men are more likely to be the asshats, along with older people, but in my day to day life, men have been kind and friendly.

MsLilith · 2014-09-02T14:50:16+00:00

Now that I'm an adult it's very rare to be confronted by rude people (outside of customers at work). Most men are civil and at least friendly as an acquaintance.

When I go out I prefer to go to small dive bars or metal shows and even there most guys are nice. But there are a few (usually) drunk dudes who will get handsy or something. Lately there's been a pattern of drunk strangers commenting about "motor boating" me (or, in one pricks case, actually trying to do it) ...which is pretty fucking rude coming from a stranger, but those guys are definitely the minority.

biscotti_karate · 2014-09-02T15:46:59+00:00

How often do I encounter rude women?

Uh...I don't think I have in recent times. People are usually civil and decent out in public, especially women. When going out to bars and clubs, I have yet to have any sort of problem with a woman whether it is conversation or physical interaction. I have never thought we live in "less than" kind of time, the present is IMO the best time period to be in.

cuittler · 2014-09-02T16:19:50+00:00

The last city I lived in was similar to LA: women sized each other up and men called or chased after women pretty frequently. The emphasis on money and status symbols was incredibly high, and everyone looked expensive and polished.

Where I live now is like that world turned on it's head: women are friendly and cool, don't wear a lot of brand names or makeup. OTOH men don't even make eye contact here and are quite chilly. Haven't been harassed or followed even once though, so no complaints.

TehGinjaNinja · 2014-09-02T17:09:24+00:00

The last woman I dated showed up 45 minutes late for our first date and over an hour late for our second. I'd call that pretty damn rude. Needless to say, there was no third date.

On a day to day level I currently have have few interactions with women. I work in software and there is only one woman in my office. She's a friendly and highly competent software developer, so everybody likes her.

At my prior job, however, my project manager was a woman who occasionally tried to con me (and other lead developers) into doing her job for her. That company was run a by a woman, and most of the middle management was A) female and B) ineffective at their jobs. They had problems retaining good developers, and lost contracts, because of poor management decisions.

On a social level one experience which really stands out is related to the fact that my best friend married a rude bitch. Don't get me wrong, she had her good aspects and she made him happy, which was all I cared about, but she and I didn't get along.

When the wedding rolled around all of our mutual friends, a group which had been hanging out for more than 20 years, were invited to be groom's men. All except me, because she convinced him that I didn't "support their relationship". I had never said a bad word about her to him, and her only evidence of this lack of "support" was my refusal to be friends with her on Facebook.

On the whole I'd have to say most of my interactions with women are neutral. They tend to be polite and non-confrontational. On the whole I'd have to say I've had more positive interactions with women than negative ones, but the negative ones have seemed more damaging than the positive ones have seemed beneficial.

Do you believe we live in less than civil times?

Yes, because I define "civil" as more than just 'being polite'. To my mind real civility requires a sense of responsibility, and I think that's lacking in society today. People are nice to each other, but they aren't truly "civil".

[deleted] · 2014-09-02T17:56:13+00:00

In my day to day life? Practically never, then again I'm pretty introverted. There was this one guy in my circle of friends that was pretty rude. He liked to blame all the world's evils on millennials and had plenty to say about women and minorities. He was also prone to violent outbursts, so whatever he said most of us just ignored.

We no longer hang out with him so it's all good. And other rude things that I overhear from time to time are normally spouted by dumb teenagers.

Overall, I think we live in incredibly civil times.

Magic-Lion · 2014-09-02T21:30:08+00:00

I used to encounter rude men on a near daily basis, and at that time my view of men began to become increasingly jaded and severe. With events like being stalked, drunk men attempting to drag me off, nearly being abducted by two strange men and others offering to buy me from my parents, alongside with regular street harassment, I was pretty distrustful of men.

Now that I am out of that environment and old enough to know how to handle myself, the harassment has slowed to around three or four times a month. Thankfully I am no longer angry towards men, as I realise now that everyone is capable of being fucking awful.

myfriendscantknow · 2014-09-02T11:54:00+00:00

It happens, but rarely. When you're a grown up, in your mid 20s at least, like I am, it seems like most everybody does their best to get along and avoid confrontation. I think we live in very civil times.

chazzALB · 2014-09-02T14:35:49+00:00

Guy here. All the time from men and women.

philomexa · 2014-09-02T15:54:20+00:00

Hrm, hardly ever? Growing up sure, I encountered my fair share of creeps, 'nice guys', gropers, and cat callers, but I never let them color my perception of men.

Oh! I remember one time in college I was at a house party when I stepped outside to have a smoke. The 'door man' (aka drunk bro hassling everyone trying to get in) barred me from reentering the party. After some arguing I tried to squeeze past him, but he caught me and gave me a straight elbow to the side of my head, sent me sprawling.

So there I was on the ground crying and caterwauling when my (slutty) friend came up and asked me what happened. So I told her about the drunk bro and the elbow to my head, and bless her, she rallied up the football team via her powers of sluttiness (aka she slept with all of them so they were on friendly terms) to crack some skulls at the house party so I could be let back in.

so the drunk bro was rather unpleasant, and your average cat caller/groper/creeper is also unpleasant, but for the most part men have been rather respectful towards me.

Also I've stopped paying attention to people (eh who am I kidding, men) trying to get my attention in public. So that definitely cuts down on any possible negative interactions.

[deleted] · 2014-09-02T16:07:04+00:00

I have met a few unpleasant men but by and large people are polite. However, one should note that my social circle is limited ,mainly female and I do tend to avoid people I know are unpleasant.

Smilingbluekitties · 2014-09-02T16:08:04+00:00

Once or twice a week in real life, that number was much higher when I was single and dating. I live in a major city.

RobotPartsCorp · 2014-09-02T17:46:08+00:00

Since I walk to and from work, and really, I walk everywhere in my city, I get cat-called (meh) to straight-up harassment at least every other day, sometimes every day (in the spring and summer).

As far as meeting and talking to men in and around my social circle...very very rare bad experience. I don't think I encounter much of a "bad attitude" expressed to me anyway. Everyone who comes up and talks to me is pleasant to me and anyone I approach is always pleasant. I have a very active social life too.

That being said, sometimes people get a bad reputation for good reason, and you hear how "this person treated so-and-so" and if "so-and-so" is a well-liked person, than the person that treated them badly will not be asked to come around. There is one person I have met like this, he is a drunk asshole and was abusive to my friend, always aggressive at parties and was aggressive to me on a couple occasions. Word got around and no one wants to associate with him. He lost his business and 99% of his friends, he moved to an island and became a recluse. He deserved that.

goatismycopilot · 2014-09-02T19:31:24+00:00

At work, pretty frequently, because I work in a big city hospital between colleagues, doctors, and patients/families, it is pretty rare somebody is not rude. In every day life it varies. I have a small social circle and I don't have any rude or dramatic friends, people like that suck energy out of a room. If somebody is just rude to me for no reason, I will ask them what is going on. It all depends on the situation and who it is. I don't think people are so much uncivil as completely stuck in their own bubble and connected to their tablet or ther phone and they don't even know at times they are rude because they are self absorbed and their parents didn't teach them basic social interaction. I think social skills have declined which may have had an impact on percieved rudeness, what I mean by social skills is the ability to converse.

CrypticFawn · 2014-09-02T19:40:27+00:00

In the past few years, almost never. Not even while at college. But I also completely avoid places like bars and clubs; not my kind of scene.

southwer · 2014-09-03T00:07:22+00:00

In real life? Almost never. I'm really friendly, and 99% of the time people are friendly back to me. I'm also almost always in the company of my crazy daughters who people seem to uniformly love. Obviously me being with my kids is going to color my interactions, buffering me from rudeness. So I very rarely encounter nastiness. On the internet? lots.

edited to add: I used to live in a rougher neighborhood and I used to not have kids. I've had run-ins with people. I'll add that my bad experiences have always been with men, usually starting with cat-calling. just my experience.

Do you believe we live in less than civil times?

I have no way to tell, since these are the only times I've lived in. I would say no, however.

autopornbot · 2014-09-03T01:08:58+00:00

The only time I encounter rude women is in clubs and bars. I guess the assumption is that everyone is there to pick up or get picked up. So if you say as much as hi, you can get "rejected". There's nothing like just being cordial and saying hello to the person at the next table as you sit down and hear them say something like "ugh, NO!"

I work next door to a bar that caters to the young urban set - 99% black folks. They have gangsta rappers perform there several nights a week. There's a whole range of women that go there, from very well dressed, attractive ladies to girls that look like they should be on the People of Walmart page.

One night about two weeks ago, as I was leaving work and locking up (I just wear shorts, flip-flops and a t-shirt to work because most of the time I'm the only person there), two girls came walking by from the club. One was a bigger black girl who looked kind of ghetto, and the other was a maybe 250+ pound white girl who looked absolutely clownishly trashy. As they walk by me locking up, the white girl sizes me up (I didn't even make eye contact, I just keep to myself mostly), and very audibly says "uh, uh-uuuuh!" (as in no way!). I was really tempted to return the favor and offer a critique of her looks, but I'm too polite.

What is funny to me is that it is almost solely unattractive girls who do that. Really pretty girls who are well dressed are almost always really nice. I guess people treat them better, so they have a better attitude. Or just classier people tend to be more attractive.

But anyway, being out at clubs where the alcohol is flowing freely seems to bring out the worst in some people :o/

In normal, day to day life, generally every person I encounter is really polite and friendly. The worst that people do is avoid eye contact and keep to themselves, which there's absolutely nothing wrong with in my book. I'm in the deep South of the US right now, and people here are less open and friendly than they are out West, though. People here really stick to their own kind, and don't socialize with anyone different most of the time. And I don't fit into many common demographics, so not many people come up and talk to me here, whereas they would in California and AZ. But people here just mostly quietly keep to themselves and don't make eye contact or anything.

why_lie_mgtow · 2014-09-04T10:42:31+00:00

As a guideline, the hotter a woman is, the snottier she is unless she wants something out of you.

Cactuar_Tamer · 2014-09-02T14:32:50+00:00

Here in Japan? Almost never. And when I do you can be almost certain it's some gaijin jackass.

Back in the US? Fairly frequently whenever I went out or ventured off campus. But there's a spectrum and at least guys who took it to a threatening level were relatively rare. Still quite unpleasant.

Also the sexually charged attention started early. Like, literally before I comprehended the concept of sexual desire. So, uh, that shit was creepy and horrible.

ms_kittyfantastico · 2014-09-02T20:46:23+00:00

I encounter rude men approximately once a month in the form of catcalling. I hate catcalling because it makes me uncomfortable and I feel unsafe. Do I apply this logic to all men I encounter? Certainly not.

However, I have been groped by random (male) strangers 3 times in my life, so I am on edge constantly when walking alone.

Edit: less civil times? No. I think our current society has some pretty huge flaws, but civility seems to be much better as I think the current generations have greater tolerance for minorities (e.g. gender & sexuality, race).

Reginleifer · 2014-09-02T11:56:04+00:00

One of my experiences with the opposite sex has been unrealistic standards

Part of the appeal of leaving my hometown was that I'd finally be able to escape the toxic females in my city. As I mentioned in my previous posts I come from the ghetto, and the ghetto is no place to meet men, or women.

Our community has a saying for what the girls do..... (also mentioned before) we call it "La ultima coca-cola del desierto" which translates to "the last coca-cola of the desert". This phrase is reference to less valuable, usually less attractive women having sky high standards in men, like things you wouldn't reasonably expect a man from the ghetto to have. Like an over 50k job, or being well traveled and educated.

A lot of the women in my own hometown were also pretty into dark triad folks. :P I'm pretty sure the underwear industry got a couple of percentage points of profit after the Jeremy Meeks incident.

Anyways I'm probably going to sound pretty pathetic, but one of the benefits of moving to the SJW hell known as SF has been a huge boost to my self esteem. Getting rejected (and don't even fucking start RP) by 9's is much better than getting turned down pre-emptively by a 2 who got her GED in the back of a cereal box. ^{^}

[deleted] · 2014-09-03T00:15:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThorLives · 2014-09-02T17:45:10+00:00

At bars and clubs, I find that about half the women I approach will give me a chilly reaction - like one-word responses or something. On a number of occasions, I've approached girls, had them look at me, turn their back and start texting or talking to her friend without saying a word. With some women, I can feel that they give me a 5-10 second window to say something exceptionally funny or clever or entertain them in some way, or else I'm done. It feels very value-leach to me. It also makes me think, "Gee, how nice it must be to be a woman - you feel like you don't need to make an effort at all, but the guy had better immediately entertain you or else you'll 'next' him.". I realize, of course, that some women get approached frequently, so guys have to basically rise to the top of the pack if they want to get more than 2 words from the girl, so there is an element of market forces at work. Still, it does raise some questions about how the male-female dating dynamic in the US favors women -- although, to be fair, there's other factors in play, as well, such as the guy-girl ratio in bars, or how beautiful an individual woman is (more attractive women get approached more so they are quicker to cut guys off so they aren't overwhelmed; average-looking women are typically less quick to be rude to guys who approach them or have that "entertain me now" attitude).

I'm a decent looking guy, too. I've had female friends say things like, "I bet you could pickup any girl in this bar". It's not like that at all for guys, though. I sometimes wonder how much more difficult it must be for guys who are below average looking.

Girls I meet in coffeeshops tend to me quite a bit more willing to talk. I'm surprised how often women are willing to chat. Although, there's less of an assumption that I'm picking them up at coffeeshops than there is at bars, so maybe that's a big part of it. On one level, I could take it as beneficial that some women act disinterested in bars - it tells me they aren't interested in me (based, presumably on no immediate physical attraction or she has a boyfriend or whatever, since they usually cut guys off early), which allows me to not waste my time. On the other hand, it does affect my emotional state a bit when that happens, which makes me feel a little less willing to approach another girl.

[deleted] · 2014-09-02T17:50:46+00:00

Not all that often. I don't really get out much, but the people I interact with are generally either polite or only mildly rude. I don't think we live in less civil times, but people are less likely to engage with strangers. Which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing.

duckducklandwhale · 2014-09-04T03:27:15+00:00

How often? I encounter rude unpleasant women basically any time I go to the hood. There is just something about black bitches need an attitude adjustment. I hate them in the service industry, I hate them in retail, I hate them at the ball, I hate them at concerts everywhere I go. I'd say 70% of these hoodrats are rude trash from the jump.

Other somewhat frequently is middle-class white bitches on the road. It's infrequent enough because Im a rather defensive driver but all of my road rage interactions are always with some middle-aged older lady. Actually the other day I saw this white bitch yell at this Indian guy for some traffic altercation on the sidewalk, she kept yelling even after the dude said Im sorry, before she walked off into the tanning salon.

[deleted] · 2014-09-05T14:12:52+00:00

Rarely.

But I'm not in settings usually where people are rude, men or women.

stickfiguresk · 2014-09-06T11:33:32+00:00

RP man

Nah, chicks are cool.

Title	Let's talk generalities. Ladies, be you red blue or periwinkle, how often do you encounter rude unpleasant men? Men, vice versa.
Author	RedPill4LYF
Upvotes	6
Comments	53
Date	September 2, 2014 11:18 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2f905n/lets_talk_generalities_ladies_be_you_red_blue_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/lets-talk-generalities-ladies-be-you-red-blue-or.284965 https://theredarchive.com/post/284965

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