To what extent can women be abusive?

PRCastaway · 2019-09-28T05:20:03+00:00

My mother after my parents divorce used me as a pawn. As I rebelled against her, she just would demonstrate that she could sink lower than any teenage boy ever could. Years of attention seeking, inconsideration, negligence, indifference, and drama seeking. The fucking drama seeking fights... even after I caught on to her game it would still drive me crazy when she’d push my buttons.

I think she effectively ruined my life. Im angry and bitter and find it difficult to move on from my childhood trauma. The more I think about her the angrier I get. Havent talked to her in 8 months now I think.

She babies my 22 year old brother. Hates the idea of him becoming independent. He’s worse than I am. No social skills, no social life, never been on a date at 22 and obviously a kissless virgin.

I hope there’s a hell so she can burn in it

mandoa_sky · 2019-09-28T03:48:18+00:00

r/narcissisticparents suggests it can be done by anyone

NockerJoe · 2019-09-28T03:22:59+00:00

Women can be physically abusive and are regularly. We just assume as a society she has a good reason like her kids must've been bad or her husband or boyfriend hurt her somehow even if we have no context. Lord knows my mother has done some fucking horrible shit that would never in a million years get overlooked if it was my dad.

Shit there was that youtube video where they had a female actor beat up a male one in public and nobody stopped her. They interviewed them after and like half the women in attendance were like "you go girl", with one saying that word for word, even though they had no context for what she was doing or why. Being physically violent with a man who is conditioned not to fight back literally makes you a role model by default.

Rabidstuffy · 2019-09-28T03:39:55+00:00

5) If you believe that women who have abusive exes have them as a result of "poor mate selection that they should hold themselves accountable for", do you extend that to the men who face this in their LTRs/Marriages?

The reason it's not directly analogous is that society by and large lacks a narrative of comprehending that women can be abusive.

So it's much easier for a guy to be gaslit--like, if you're a girl and the guy is beating the shit out of you it's at least possible to articulate what it is that's going on, but as a guy the kinds of abusive women can be aren't even always readily explicable.

SunflowerBurst · 2019-09-28T05:39:34+00:00

Women can be very abusive. Some humans are just not great.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-09-28T04:20:47+00:00

My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to my father, and emotionally abusive to me, although she left my younger brother alone, thankfully. I cut her off for a year and a half when I moved out, and we have a decent relationship now, if only because I call her on her shit and she knows I can and will pretend that she's dead if she starts shit again.

Reverend_Vader · 2019-09-28T09:20:08+00:00

If I listed everything my ex wife did and spun it around so it was me doing the abusing, I would be in jail and there is a very good chance it would be in the press due to what she did

For her now she is seen as a troubled person who didn't really understand what she was doing because of her traumatic childhood which led to her developing BPD on the malignant end of the spectrum

It took her literally driving me to the brink of suicide where I volunteered myself to the MH ward for my brain to say "enough is enough, you must get away from this person forever, she wants you to die"

I know people see it that way as that is how I used to justify it when I was with her, the immediate response from people is to look to remove "fault" and responsibility

The women are wonderful effect really protects abusive women

How do you protect against it

I walked through fields and fields of red flags and ignored them, the clues are always there

I wish the reading I did up on personality disorders and abusive relationships was the first lesson I had in life and not one I only took the time to do 20 years too late

Educate yourself to toxic behaviour and warning signs and vetting is so much easier (it also helps taking a look at yourself as I learned some things I had to work on)

Dora_Bowl · 2019-09-28T03:21:18+00:00

Women can be abusive, but it is not typically life threatening. Victim blaming is pointless and fixes nothing, people are responsible for their actions. We do hold a murder victim in a shooting responsible for their death, nor do we hold a person in a death camp either, it is just stupid.

DoneBeenHadBeenDone · 2019-09-28T04:37:37+00:00

I love how the red-pill does it's best to support men by calling male abuse victims beta-cucks. All in a day's work I guess.

brotherblackpillABC · 2019-09-28T06:46:44+00:00

Women can be abusive to the extent those around them and their own personality allows them to be.

If the power fantasy of the male is to be the superhero, the power fantasy of the woman is to be the supervillain (or at least something close).

The male power fantasy is to be a strong leader of men and great fucker of women.

The female power fantasy is basically to be a bitch and get away with it every time.

planejane · 2019-09-28T12:53:02+00:00

Of course women can be abusive. Never heard of the book "A Child Called It?"

mylifesux62 · 2019-09-28T03:34:48+00:00

Women are mentally abusive way more than men. They easily drive many men to suicide each year. Men need to be more careful around them

Whiteliesmatter1 · 2019-09-28T10:57:33+00:00

My mother is physically abusive towards my dad. She is bigger and healthier and stronger than him, so she overpowers him and beats him. He is small and has a history of being abused in his childhood. He has told us that if any mysterious death happens to him, to treat it as homicide until proven otherwise.

And she is also full on mentally abusive. And she physically abused all of her children. I don’t know where we got this idea that women aren’t capable of abuse.

Tomatoccino · 2019-09-28T10:26:37+00:00

There’s a big difference between the answers here, and on this, earlier thread. Why? https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d9zw1n/q4a_on_female_physical_weakness/

[deleted] · 2019-09-28T03:40:08+00:00

To the same degree as men, but men are more likely to be physical in their abuse, women are more likely to be emotional, and emotional abuse from women is much more common than its put out to be.

masterpiece00 · 2019-09-28T08:15:54+00:00

Mentally, emotionally, manipulatively, socially, physically more so than men, and homicidal.

Rabidstuffy · 2019-09-28T03:29:07+00:00

1) women can be abusive but most abuse from women is simply shit tests turned up to power level 1,000. Abusive women turn them up to 10,000.

2) it is the man's fault because he is not passing the test. Truly abusive women require you to hit her to pass the test. This is their desire and what they view a real man as. Often they had fathers who were married to mothers who shit tested this hard, and those fathers passed by hitting their mother. Sometimes they just have the raging mother and the father took the abuse.

Often passing the test simply requires laughing in her face and using one of the two tried and tested techniques on her childish game. But the woman will not feel secure unless you pass the test. At which point she will settle down, until her next test.

3) women can absolutely be physically abusive, typically after the man fails many shit tests. The worse ones will be emotionally abusive, which is the end of their shit tests. I mean pass or fail they will amp it up. They may even drive a failure man to suicide. Men are often astounded by this, "why wasn't she supportive? Why did she say such awful things?" It's all a big shit test women don't cling to a failing guy. They test him harder. Even to the point of his suicide.

4) men vet against this by passing shit tests and by selecting a girl who shit tests to a level he can pass. Some girls will test you harder than others, depending on their options. Hot girls have many options, hence their insecurity that you are her best guy is very high. Turn that insecurity around on her by passing the tests. This is a hot girls comfort zone. Or any girl really. Relationships work best when the girl is in some level of insecurity.

5) Yes.

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Workaholiconew · 2019-09-28T11:34:50+00:00

To what extent

homicide of husband and have only some months in jail.

Ofourkind · 2019-09-28T12:25:12+00:00

Every person on earth can be and is abusive to some extent

fevertree · 2019-09-28T12:40:57+00:00

Yes - RP believes this.
I don't know why it would be the man's fault. I guess it depends on the situation.
Women (who are abusive) are typically emotionally or verbally abusive to partners and can also be physically and sexually abusive to minors. People abuse what they have power over. This does not mean that a woman could not physically or sexually abuse a man, but it is likely rare given that men are usually able to defend themselves.
You can vet against abusive people by seeing them in a range of situations and emotional states. So...knowing them deeply before you marry them. You can also call out the nitpicking and say you think its abusive and say you aren't going to tolerate it. Most people never hear that about their emotionally abusive behavior. People play games with each other, they just do, but you can set some boundaries.
I don't believe that as a rule, but it could be possible in some cases. I suppose if I were to assign that criticism I would assign it to both genders.

Bntt89 · 2019-09-28T18:06:59+00:00

The exact same extent as men, abuse is abuse just because women are weaker than men doesn't mean scratching or hitting doesn't hurt lol. I definitely felt it when my mom would hit me with belts and when she would force us to kneel for hours. Also I think that women abuse men predominantly through mental means, shame and etc. We may be different genders but the same acts dont lose meaning because they are done by different genders.

[deleted] · 2019-09-30T01:24:58+00:00

They used to call this 'henpecking'. While it's absolutely shitty behavior, it can (and often is) be brought on by one party feeling less 'heard' than the other, and the other party either actively deciding that that's okay, and/or by ignoring it. I've seen men do it too, although it's much less likely.

The term 'abuse' has gotten rather out of hand, these days.

taiwanna · 2019-10-01T04:04:30+00:00

Just as much as men can. Wtf kind of question is this?

Title	To what extent can women be abusive?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	22
Comments	106
Date	September 28, 2019 3:17 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/daarbb/to_what_extent_can_women_be_abusive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-what-extent-can-women-be-abusive.286861 https://theredarchive.com/post/286861

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