A war within myself

Weak, weak, weak.

You are weak young man. Your whiny post speaks volumes about the shitty life and pathetic sex life you are foisting upon your wife. Good god, stop your self-obsessed pity-party and think for a moment that you are one of two fucking people in this dumbass relationship. She is not a pawn on a chessboard, she is one half of a (largely dysfunctional it would seem) dynamic, a dynamic that is there for the taking, there for you to harness, and there for you to lead into the promised land.

I am angry.

Who fucking cares.

Christ, the first goddamn thing you read in this shit pile of a sub is "beware the anger stage," so who really fucking cares if you're angry? Obviously you, since you spend all your fucking time whimpering about your problems, self-righteously analyzing your wife's shortcomings, and generally being a gigantic douchebag.

But outside of you, nobody cares.

I do not want to put sex on a pedestal.

And yet you are. Sex, sex, sex. Starfish, starfish, starfish. Smiles, smiles, smiles. It's nauseating. You're like a chimpanzee in a study that only need press a button to get a treat. Press the button. Press the button. Press the button.

But of course, keep fucking whining and whimpering the whole time, screeching and scratching, and generally yelling at the world, trapped in a cage, a cage that is built of your own suffering, sycophantic creation, and born of your spiteful, hateful, weak, and insecure disregard for your wife.

I stopped approaching my wife for sex.

Because you are weak. And perhaps gay. Salvation comes not from playing at this battle of wills, as though you and your wife are opposing soldiers, on the thin blue line of your second war - the first being your gay-ass "war within yourself" - instead, they come from (1) leading, (2) partnering, and (3) climbing the fucking hill together. Instead of walking down while she's walking up, you must grab her hand and bring her along, pull her if you must, but go together.

I am tired of starfish.

So is your wife. In the bedroom you are better off relying on your own abilities to push the boundaries rather than waiting for her to do so. You have more testosterone, right? You're the fucking man, right? You don't just sit in your lawn chair on your front porch waiting for the world to deliver itself unto your feet, do you? Why should she be any different?

I have started other activities to spend time in like jijitsu.

Great. Ideally you're doing so for you as opposed to in spite of her. There's a whole big world out there beyond your 1/4 billion wife, why not experience it? While you can climb the mountain with your wife, especially when you're standing next to each other, you can also climb the mountain on your own. Just make sure you're not doing so after (1) spiting your wife, (2) because she rejected you, and then (3) sulking like your children, and (4) running away to "teach her a lesson."

In the past, when I couldn't take more, I take my wife and fuck her well. Still starfish and boring sex.

Have you stopped to think for a moment that either (1) what you consider "fuck her well" isn't so well, or (2) perhaps your relationship suffers from some larger issues that prevent her from forming a deeper emotional connection with you, something that is goddamn necessary after ten years, especially for a weak-willed loser like you?

I imagine you haven't because you're so consumed with your problems and her shortcomings and always thinking and analyzing and criticizing and fortune-telling her own thoughts and desires.

I do not find her approaches sexy but used to still take her advances and have shitty sex.

Why should she be sexy for a man who is so clearly not sexy himself? After reading your dreck, the last fucking word on earth I would use to describe you is sexy. Remember that partnership spiel I wrote above? That applies moreso than anywhere in the sex department. While your ego tells you that you "fuck her well," her behavior tells every one of the 8,281 dumb-asses in this sub, including me, that you're full of shit.

Then soon after I feel low and less of a man as I know the sex was low quality and it was just maintenance sex for her....humiliating.

Great. So if China starts in Hong Kong, moves on to Taiwan, and decides to invade the rest of the world, we'll all know who we cannot count on: you. If your wife's rejection can cause such humiliation, weaken you as a man, and result in this nonsense you call a post, then obviously you are not a man to be relied upon, a man to be depended upon, or a man who will do anything other than fold at the slightest hint of challenge.

I do not approach her. I keep busy. I know she is thinking I will break down and she will give me her pussy for shit sex and then her quota is met for another 10 days.

You do not approach her because you are playing the spoiled brat. Mommy didn't give me extra dessert so I'm not talking to mommy anymore. Good stuff, faggot. And while you claim to "know she is thinking (you) will break down," you know fucking nothing. Are you a real-live fortune teller? A magic 8 ball? David-fucking-Blaine? Stop thinking for your wife, especially since you clearly know nothing of human behavior, let alone the behavior of the fairer sex.

Recently, after no sex for around two weeks, she approached me and I gently refused. She persisted in such an unattractive way and I held firm as I do not want to feel what I usually do afterwards.

This is just plain pathetic. Your wife would be wise to grab the kids and find a man rather than the petulant man-child with whom she is forced to share a home. God. My wife would nuke my ass in a heartbeat were I to be so effete in my behavior.

Guys, I am in a deep funk and know I am fucking up myself but cannot get my head around this. I am constantly flirting with other women, and mildly in front of wife. I get so many smiles now and they make my day. > I enjoy random conversations with other women but never cross the line.

If fucking smiles are getting your panties in a bunch then you're a real hard case. Christ, people smile. Men and women both. Get out of your "deep funk" and stop fighting your "internal war" and grow the fuck up and take some personal goddamn responsibility.

You're the fucking problem here, and you're lucky your wife hasn't bolted already.

Pussy.