Is flirting cheating?

wtknight · 2019-12-16T21:20:06+00:00

Cheating is what a couple defines either explicitly or implicitly as cheating. Some couples openly flirt and it is not a problem. With other couples it is probably a major issue.

Texastentialism · 2019-12-16T21:22:53+00:00

I don't think it's cheating, but that doesn't mean it's okay or appropriate.

To me, flirting is anything that creates sexual tension/energy in an interaction and/or hints toward sexual interest from one party to the other.

For me personally where it crosses the line is if it's an ongoing dynamic or if there's too much familiarity there. If my husband banters with a waitress or some girl in line at the grocery store, whatever, that's a one-time interaction and he's never going to see her again. Pretty harmless. If it's his coworker he sees every day who brings him homemade cookies, that's a whole other animal.

Of the things you listed, the two big ones I would have a problem with would be another girl cooking for him/bringing him food and saying "I love you" to (non-family) members of the opposite sex.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-12-16T21:52:18+00:00

It runs the gamut from fine to inappropriate to cheating

Depends on too many circumstances to give you a solid answer

2019-12-16T21:58:36+00:00

> What qualifies as flirting to you?

Intention. Flirting is deliberately exhibiting certain behaviours with the intention of making the other person sexually attracted to you.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-12-16T22:04:20+00:00

It lacks fidelity

WIA20XX · 2019-12-16T21:31:40+00:00

Yes.

maljo24 · 2019-12-16T21:56:47+00:00

Flirting is not cheating.

Dora_Bowl · 2019-12-16T21:17:20+00:00

It would depend on the conditions of the relationship. For my relationship, and most other people, yes, they would consider it cheating. Some people might find some level of flirting permissible, others might have no tolerance for it.

TheJim66 · 2019-12-16T21:32:27+00:00

It's not cheating.I think the line is drawn at making out.

However it's also not okay .

VexingTetrimino · 2019-12-16T21:52:28+00:00

no, it's not. it could lead to cheating but it's not cheating.

there's also different kinds of flirting: harmless, innocuous, with a salesperson you're never gonna see again, with your coworker you see daily, with your friend's spouse which everyone knows is all in good fun, with your other friend's spouse which is never appropriate because he sucks with boundaries

... and then there might be the kind of flirting which is done to fill a void someone might have in their current relationship.

and of course there is the kind of flirting with ill-intent or poor self-control

these are important distinctions

reluctantly_red · 2019-12-16T21:23:52+00:00

Cheating is cheating. Flirting is something else. Isn't this bloody obvious?

AutoModerator · 2019-12-16T21:12:12+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

bottomLobster · 2019-12-16T21:36:33+00:00

You can see even in the comments that the line where cheating begins is different for everyone, it can even change over time: for me, for a long time it was not cheating until penis haven't entered a vagina, now it is more about the time she spends with me compared to other things she invests her time in.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-12-16T21:59:23+00:00

I think the love you bit is especially bad. I get a lil jelly over hugs too but whatever. The food shit is weird. If it's a woman doing that, id assume theyre fucking

hammerhaunts · 2019-12-16T22:06:07+00:00

Yes, yes, probably, yes, yes, yes

Orange_Paisley · 2019-12-16T22:12:39+00:00

Flirting is not necessarily cheating but it can be if you plan to follow through.

diffdedbed · 2019-12-16T22:17:44+00:00

People think I'm flirting all the time because I genuinely enjoy talking to women. Its kinda sad really. Watch what happens in most groups where there are 3 or more couples. The guys all talk together, the women talk together, and rarely is there a lot of talk between the groups.

Unless I'm stroking her leg or something, its just chatting.

PaintingOfJoan · 2019-12-16T23:46:34+00:00

I don’t think so it’s just something people do sometimes.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2019-12-17T00:12:54+00:00

For me the limit is familiarity and common context, e.g. pet names, phrases, ongoing flirt and tension. Casual flirting is fine and expected, as we both bask in glamour and being 'everyone wants us' couple.

007_pp7 · 2019-12-17T01:14:15+00:00

Depends on what you 2 discuss as cheating if its even discussed. For me, im pretty proactive about not putting myself in a position or situation that would make my partner question motives. Totally projection though because i want my partner to do the same for me.

It helped me to have close friends of the opposite sex that i had no "history" with or anyone having sexual tension towards the other. I got to see how real platonic relationships are valued and respected and upkept. Its easy to see underlying motives with either party involved (gf with guy friends and vice versa) once you have genuine platonic friendships yourself. That natural jealousy disappeared for me, leaving only cues that someone is lusting or wanting attention, and those stick out like turd in a punch bowl. Its incredibly obvious

Edit: i believe it also matters if said friend has a partner also. That also sets an intention, as well as what type of person they are. Is he or she always single and playing the field like any other horny 20 something? I would highly question motives if my partner told me hey remember chad? ( internally im thinking oh yeah the guy who i always see out with different women) made me dinner and brought it over.

Ya id highly question those motives based off his character alone and then question my partners empathy for being unable to process how anyone else would see it.

geyejoe7 · 2019-12-17T07:39:47+00:00

Flirting to me is when you talk sweet or are too touchy feely with someone for no reason. A new acquaintance, some friend that you find attractive even though you're in a relationship, etc.

Hugging is not cheating to me. My gf can hug guys as long as she makes it clear or mentioned she had a bf. I do this with girls aswell. Only friends ofcourse. And I mean hello, or goodbye hugs. Not romantic hugs lol.

Someone bringing me food or a drink is a friendly interaction. Ofcourse if my gf goes to a club and a guy buys a bottle for her and offers then yea.. a bit much lol.

Is someone saying “love you” as they leave flirting or just friendship?

This is clearly something you do with either your SO, or a very good friend, in a ironic way. (For example, I wouldn't mind telling a gay or female friend she loves them, even though she doesn't do so. But I would mind if it was a random dude).

Not all things that would be considered flirting are cheating. Contest matters most.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-12-17T22:23:25+00:00

It can be cheating but that doesn't mean it's always cheating.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-12-16T23:00:20+00:00

What a socially autistic question

Title	Is flirting cheating?
Author	wingbark
Upvotes	1
Comments	32
Date	December 16, 2019 9:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ebl9g9/is_flirting_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-flirting-cheating.300709 https://theredarchive.com/post/300709

Comments