I am thankful for this subreddit! For so long, I thought I was a prude or too conservative. Because of this, I loosened up my standards and of course, relationships always went wrong. This sub makes me feel less alone in having standards and sticking with them. It makes me feel like I am not too uptight. I wish the handbook was around 5 years ago (when I decided I wanted marriage)! It validated me and made me get much clearer about my own standards (I honestly never thought about the timeline of meeting friends/family, taking trips together, what I want in date nights, etc). It also helped me see where I went wrong in previous relationships.

One of the things I would hear from friends when discussing their relationships was "I'm going with the flow and will see what happens." They would even tell me to "go with the flow." Almost all my friends (at one point in my life) had this mindset. It made me reconsider and wonder "perhaps I need to chill and not be so anxious about certain milestones being set within a timeline?" Wrong move!

Going with the flow hardly ever works for women. Whatever relationship goal a woman has requires her to be strategic, have a plan, and timeline. Going with the flow leads to out of wedlock children, things remaining "casual," living together before a wedding date is set, and being a forever girlfriend or fiancé.

It's always amazed me that in every other area of life people are expected to have a plan and timeline to reach whatever goal we have. Yet, when it comes to marriage, we, especially women, are encouraged to not have a plan and basically to "wing it." If "winging it" does not work for job presentation, then it does not work in something more critical like your dating life.

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What do y'all think about "going with the flow"?