I had known this guy for few months now. He is also an Indian living in the US and working as a resident. I am a medical graduate applying for residency this year.
He had asked me out multiple times previously and I refused every single time.
He used to contact me occasionally. I remained in touch with him for professional reasons.
Last week, he called me and asked if it will be possible to meet for dinner and he was pressuring me to say yes. I said maybe during the weekend since I really didn’t want to go out with him because I had never gone out on a date. (I know it might seem odd but just my cultural upbringing.)
He called me again the next day and convinced me that he is only free that day and to go out with him. He was telling me it was just a date to dinner and that I have to learn to go out and meet people and I agreed. He also said that meeting residents like him will help for my upcoming match season.
He drove one hour to meet me and he asked me to choose a restaurant and we had dinner. When he opened the door for me, he groped my butt the first time. I was too nervous to react. I keep blaming myself that I should have reacted that first time when he did it.
After dinner, since most places were closed and there was an ikea nearby- I suggested we can go there. He kept touching my butt while in ikea and I told him to take his hands off because we were in ikea and he said that all that doesn’t matter in the US. I tried to hold hands with him so his hands won’t touch my butt.
We then went to the parking lot and he groped my butt and I pushed his hand away. He asked if we can hug- I thought that will prevent him from groping me. But when we were hugging, he was pushing his pelvis so hard against mine and I tried moving away. He asked me if he can touch my boobs and I clearly said no and he still tried to touch my boobs 5 to 10 min later.
I also told him that he groping me was making me uncomfortable and yet he groped me. He asked if he can kiss me and I had never kissed a guy before and told him that I am saving it for a special moment and don’t want it to be like this and he kept asking me so many times to kiss him and I refused every time. So I allowed him to kiss me on my cheeks.
I had zero chemistry and attraction towards him. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and I keep blaming myself that maybe I should have been much more stronger and voiced my opinion more boldly.
It’s been 5 days since this happened and I am sleep late every night. I was very hurt after the incident and I keep blaming myself that I put myself in this situation. I try not to think about it but when I do, I feel very hurt and used. This is the first time I am going out with a guy and he behaved like this to me.
He wanted to meet me again and I told him yes when he asked but I had planned that I would never speak to him after I reached home.
He contacted me few times to ask if we can meet again and I never opened his msgs since they were triggering all this and I just opened them sometime back - he asked me why I was ignoring him and he asked if it was because he made me uncomfortable that day. So he knew he made me uncomfortable and still continued behaving like that with me.
I want to let him know that how he treated me was unacceptable and that I feel very violated because he didn’t respect when I said no. But when it was all happening, I didn’t react boldly so I keep blaming myself.
I want to block him after sending him a msg that he is a fucking pervert who tried to hang out with me in the guise of a friend.
I just need some support since I keep blaming myself.
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