TW: Just borderline shitty ass, abusive male behavior.

So I need to vent.

I am literally tired of my dating life and prepared to become an asexual monk. Just when I thought I’ve seen it all, I encountered the most ratchet fucking situation to date. I recently met this handsome and seemingly sweet dude and he asked for my number right away. We spoke everyday for a couple of weeks and formed a connection pretty quickly. Almost too quickly, so I slowed it down.

He seemed receptive to my boundaries. Listened when I asked him to stop contacting me so much, seemed to have good self respect as well. But while we were FaceTiming a couple of days ago and he was heading to the store to grab some food, he got arrested.

I was on FaceTime the whole time, watching him get arrested. And the way that he responded just felt off? Like he was used to it. So I screen recorded the interaction in order to make sure the police didn’t fuck with him inappropriately, as well as to have a point of reference/reminder in case I decided to act codependently in the future.

Dude got out of jail in 3 hours later tops and facetime’s me right away. Super apologetic, embarassed, you name it. He told me that he was profiled and wrongly arrested and that’s why he was released so quickly. I honestly didn’t buy it one bit, but there’s so much shit going on with police nowadays that his story was convincing.

So I slowly start backing off. Talking to him a bit less. But still making myself available. Things were going okay. He asks to meet up for a date, and I agreed. He went to work today, I FaceTimed with his coworkers and he was so excited. I almost fell for it 🥴🙃

I literally got dressed and thank god I decided to wait until the last minute to shower. Thank god it was raining. Because as soon as I was about to step out, I call him to confirm and a woman picks up the phone. She’s crying and has a black eye. I’m literally shook. So I tried to keep my composure and ask if she’s the dudes girlfriend. She asks me who I am and I say a friend. The girl says that she’s his ex. The guy used to be homeless and she allowed her to live with him, but he started assaulting her and taking over her apartment. She got a restraining order and fled the state for a bit while he was first arrested. Once they let him out, he broke into her apartment and moved his stuff in as if he lived there. He had a gun stored in the apartment in case the ex tried to come back.

I was so shook I just ended up crying with the poor girl on FaceTime. Apparently he was arrested moments before I called. And he will be arrested for good this time. I’m happy she’s safe and didn’t get hurt. But I’m so mad at myself. Because that could’ve been me. I am surprised at how much the universe was looking out. I am for sure divinely guided. It’s been raining alllllll day. But as soon as I got off of FaceTime with the girl, the rain stopped. And I felt a heaviness being lifted off of my shoulders. I noticed the red flags, slowed things down, didn’t agree to meet at his house, didn’t allow him to consume all of my time all because of what I’ve learned so far with FDS. To think that this is the reason I’m likely still alive and not a battered woman today. FDS tips don’t only protect your self esteem, but save your life as wells