TL;DR: the reason the red pill is appealing is not just because men have been denied sex, but because they mistakenly feel that being denied sex is actually them being rejected as a human being in total. My remedy is knowing that although it sucks to be rejected sexually, it does not mean that you are not worthy of love, of life, and of being accepted in general. Once you realize that woman-kind have not all rejected the totality of you, but just an individual / string of individuals have rejected sexual encounters with you in those moments, the red pill ceases to hold the same appeal.

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The red pill stems from a feeling of powerlessness, period. A feeling of being lied to and a feeling of being rejected in a deep, visceral way. My current take is that this is due to a mix-up of feeling like sex is available (which is undoubtedly very important to many people) and feeling like a person worthy of love, acceptance, and self-esteem. These are intrinsically linked for many, many people. I argue that they don't have to be and shouldn't be. It shouldn't make you feel as powerless as it has.

What is the core of the red pill for so many people? It's that horrible moment when someone you cared about rejected you in a way that was felt as cruel; after a string of these events, the consequent need to understand that moment to prevent it from happening again kick-starts one's journey into subscribing to the red pill. I am a woman, but I have also been there and I can empathize deeply with the grief that can come with putting in so much faith and effort only to be rejected so many times, every time, and in sometimes heartless ways that you begin to move from feeling humiliated to seeing yourself as defective.

However, what many red pillers perceive as the feeling of emasculation / humiliation due to being repeatedly denied sex or relationships is actually a feeling of dehumanization due to being denied love and acceptance as a person. That's why the rejection hurts so badly: because the red piller feels not just that they have been denied sex, but that they have been rejected as a human being. This is where the logical problem lies, because they shouldn't take sexual rejection as a rejection of their humanity or of their worth as people.

The equation of love+worthiness and sex is the problem, along with the equation of sexual power and masculinity. These incorrect assumptions funnel these undoubtedly painful feelings into what I see as the red pill ways of viewing the world. It is my wish for men to no longer feel trapped and discarded, but instead for them to realize that although it sucks to be rejected sexually, it does not mean that they are not worthy of love, of life, and of being accepted in general. Just because an individual, or even a string of individuals, did not want you in those moments does not mean that you are unworthy. What it means is that those individuals did not want you in those moments.

What turns a dry spell -- or even an ongoing deep dissatisfaction with the way many people of the opposite gender have treated you -- into a view about the very nature of women and men is to me this mistake in logic. Sex becomes power for many people. But it doesn't have to be. Men: you can change the way you view sex and take your humanity back by seeing women as individuals, whose choices do NOT represent all of woman-kind (or indeed, of everyone) but instead of just that individual. A person's right to reject you sexually can be a motivator to improve yourself. But it doesn't have to crush and embitter you.

It's a logical fallacy to assume that select experiences you have had in the past will necessarily repeat themselves in the future, especially with new individuals in the future. However, I get it: it is easy to make sweeping generalizations about women and men. I know I was making them too. But the truth is that we are all individuals who at their core, just want to be loved and seen and accepted. That is the only real biological reality: that we are all programmed to want to see ourselves as worthy of love and of a life well-lived.