Don’t Overcomplicate Things.

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August 29, 2018

Along with my post about overthinking, overcomplicating things (especially when it comes to meeting new women) happens entirely way to much on this sub. Sure we can go into depth about every text message, every little detail of an interaction. It makes for a good topic but it really isn't doing shit for your overall outcome. Pretty much everything you can think of when it come down to success with women, boils down to having these two things in check.

  1. Strong Frame - Confidence and a good vibe
  2. Non-neediness - Carefree and outcome independent

If you have these two things in check, you don't need to go into detail about every other little thing. These two things pretty much cover what mind frame you need when it comes to success with women. I'm not talking about the physical aspects we all know what they involve (lifting, style, hygiene, etc).

1. Strong Frame

The ability to recognize and pass all shit tests (Very important and there are TONS of post on this so I won't go into it). Create a good vibe and be a lot of fun, down to earth and relaxed. Be confident in who you are and what you like no matter what that is.

I see post about "only text girls for logistics and already have something going on and invite her to it." Yes this is showing good frame but this isn't the only way to do things. I text girls "what days are you free this week" this sub would have a heart attack if I told them I do this. But guess what if she says a day and I'm busy. I tell her I'm busy that day. Or I suggest a day I'm off and see if she's free. This has worked way more for actually getting her to hangout than saying. "I'm doing this on Tuesday I'd like you to join." Does this work? It has before but not always and not anymore than other ways.

The reason I'm saying this is because a lot of different shit can work for getting women. So to sit here and say only do this or say exactly that is overcomplicating things. We're turning newbies to this sub into robots. They read, "do this" and it gets a bunch of upvotes. And that's then all they do and never know if other ways can work better for them.

Tied in with this is being congruent in your actions, thoughts, and words. If you're congruent and confident with who you are, when you approach or no matter what you say. It's going to come off better than if you "say the right thing" but it's not something you would normally say or what you were told to say.

I've told women my career (I make good money) and have got both good and bad reactions to it. I have brought women home with no food in my fridge because I was broke as shit and still fucked them and had them want to date me. I have done everything "by the book" and failed/succeeded and went against the grain and succeeded/failed.

Instead of focusing on all the little details of everything you do (which will end up making your head explode anyway) just worry about keeping a strong frame and a good vibe. The women who react well to that are the ones you want in your life anyway. And the ones who don't, fuck em there are so many hot women out there. Move on.

You want to be unique that's what makes women want you over every other guy out there. And following or saying exactly what someone else told you to say is never going to get you there.

Side note - Now I know someone is going to say well I have been doing things my way and it never got me anywhere. And almost always the problem is you haven't been doing things YOUR way. It's the way society has programmed you, the way your mommy taught you, you should be. It has no connection to the deep roots of your masculinity. It's an expectation you have been programmed to have of yourself of how you should be acting instead of what you really want.

2. Non-neediness

Don't need anything from her. Don't expect anything from her. She can either join you on your sick adventure through life or she can miss out. Its not your responsibility and is a waste of time/energy to try and tweak every thing you do to better your chances of getting her. You don't fucking know what is going on with her emotionally or who she is, or what she will response to.

Do things for you, the way you want to do them and don't put an expectation of what people should be giving you in return. This is needy and unattractive.

I have a plate who already has a boyfriend. Shows up to an event with her EX boyfriend. Leaves both of them to sleep with me. Why? I didn't ask or care but she told me anyway. She said because "you do things your way, you do what you want to do and don't care what anyone says or does. And that's so fucking hot"

I could have been trying to "win her over" with her ex there. I could have tried to Overcomplicate things and over thought of the right things to say. But instead I didn't give a fuck. I did my own thing and her and all our friends followed me. She saw me having a blast, even in a weird situation for most men. We went to a bar I was dragging hot women to the dance floor. Meanwhile her ex was being anti social with everyone and lame as shit if you ask me. She lied to her friends about where she was going and came and fucked and sucked my god damn nuts out of my dick that night.

Have an abundance mentality fellas, this will allow you to not act needy. Realize and create a life filled with abundance. There's tons of women out there, never tweak yourself for just one or any for that matter.

I always would consider myself as somewhat of a "natural" and it wasn't until I started to overthink and Overcomplicate things for myself by reading what to do and not do on this sub that I started fucking myself up. Sometimes it pays to take a break from this shit. Get in touch with yourself, get these two things in check and figure out what works for you.

I'm also not saying don't learn from your mistakes either. When something doesn't work, learn from it and try it a different way. I'm not saying don't think about this stuff at all. I'm saying don't overcomplicate it and think every single text message or response has to be "alpha" or over analyzed. Or just because you didn't say the right thing is the reason she didn't fuck you. Or because one girl didn't respond well that another one won't. Stop trying to be perfect and afraid to fail.

TL;DR a slightly overcomplicated post about not overcomplicating things.

Have a strong frame, be a fun time, and have a good vibe. Don't be needy, be care free and outcome independent. Other than that you're overcomplicating things.

Post Information
Title Don’t Overcomplicate Things.
Author TrenGod37
Upvotes 934
Comments 74
Date 29 August 2018 01:13 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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[–]Psychocist 1 points [recovered]  (23 children) | Copy

Fully agree.

From my perspective women are a solved problem. This place has illuminated the reality and anyone who has digested the material is 10 steps ahead of them. There is no real reason to say anything else other than to stay wise to the ever-changing landscape.

But we keep regurgitating the same stuff, and, in doing so, over-complicate things. This forum could be just as useful if it were locked down and all we had was the sidebar and a few top posts.

Non-neediness, outcome independence, care-free attitude.. all of this comes when you find something more fulfilling than pussy. Suddenly the value of it plummets and you realise you don't need anything but you and your mission.

[–]bam954518 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're correct in that the sidebar has everything you really need. However, I think the reason that this stuff gets regurgitated is that everyone needs reminders. We're constantly bombarded in the media with blue pill ideologies that directly contradict red pill and it can be hard to remember that deep down the red pill is the truth. So having different ways of conveying the same idea with different examples really helps solidify any type of theory.

[–]odaklanan_insan4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You would be surprised if you knew how our minds are so easily manipulated by the media. It is a very strong tool that particularly used for mass corruption.

The greatest enemy of the mainstream media is social media. It's breaking the rules since the www begun to be widely used.

I would've never met the red pill principles if it wasn't for the social media.

[–]bam95451 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah no I know it’s crazy.

Also, care to elaborate on how it’s breaking the rules? I’m just really curious.

Also how did you discover trp?

[–]odaklanan_insan5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I had this severe case of oneitis and I was swimming in the blue pill dream so badly that I was digging more and more into my own grave.

Then I wanted to know what was I doing wrong. I looked up how to handle women everywere. I mean everywhere. Those "ask girls" websites, world classic books, any kind of "love doctor" advising web sites and I have also talked to a couple of my natural alfa friends and cousins.

The only one who gave me the hint of TRP was my cousin who almost lost his mind on the things that I've done to get that special, one and only girl's love. He was so mad at me. "Have some fucking respect for yourself" he said. Then I started to think that "things are not adding up". What everything tells us to do to get our "soul mate's" love is not relevant to the reality. I later learned that soul mates don't even exist in reality.

Then I started to use the right "keywords" on social media, which brought me to TRP. Keywords including "why girls prefer bad boys instead of good, hard working, honest men".

TRP did the rest.

[–]lobstergenocide2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

In science, we never really "know" anything for certain, we just replicate the experiment over and over and over again, and the more the results stay consistent the closer we get to 100% certainty. I view this sub the same way, none of the individual examples posted prove any of the RP theories but taken as a whole the more evidence we have the stronger our argument becomes

[–]TonytheNetworker63 points64 points  (0 children) | Copy

This forum could be just as useful if it were locked down and all we had was the sidebar and a few top posts.

Yup! There's only so many post you can read until you're digesting the same thing over and over. Ultimately, in my opinion, it's about going out there and making experiences, failing as many times as you can, and constantly learning from your mistakes once you've obtained a sufficient amount of knowledge here.

[–]male_specimen27 points28 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've been on this forum for four years or so, and I agree that after a while, the posts are repetitive and just say the same things. But I like to read new posts all the same; grinding down the former hardcase blue-pill me takes a lot of hard work over time. I can't just absorb the forum content in a week and be fully cured; I need to digest it over and over again for it to stick.

[–]Psychocist 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

grinding down the former hardcase blue-pill me takes a lot of hard work over time

That is a good point. I took a 6 month hiatus from this place and needed a "re-education" when I got back just to keep that BP at bay.

[–]catchpull4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did the hiatus help? I took two weeks and I think started thinking more BP again.

[–]superyute1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

the hiatus he took was probably for other reasons

[–]3chazthundergut19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. I would add masculinity to the short list. 80% of game is just act like a man

[–]n2005182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can't agree with the second paragraph more.

[–]catchpull2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes agreed. It easily gets over complicated. The problem for most and the challenge for me is IMPLEMENTING those basics thoughts and actions. That’s what keeps me reading here.

[–]odaklanan_insan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like to see the field reports too. They kinda keep us up to date.

[–]TheLaughingRhino 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

But we keep regurgitating the same stuff, and, in doing so, over-complicate things.

The messages are often mixed. Nearly all time to be honest.

Success with women is a "lagging indicator", this is said all the time here, esp by endorsed guys. ( This is a discussion of self improvement - i.e. be the "best version of you")

TRP is about sexual strategy first and foremost, this is said all the time here, esp by endorsed guys. ( This is a discussion of how to impress women enough to spread their legs for you, a function of status, social proof, etc, etc)

When Jim Wendler wrote the first 5/3/1 ( not trying to make this a lifting discussion), his angle was something simple that wasn't like most other lifting paradigms where they kept introducing new shit all the time just to keep selling you stuff. He wanted something simple, scale-able and definitive. By his third book, he started talking about if he didn't keep publishing and innovating, he'd die, that change is growth. ( Basically hamstering that he wanted to keep selling books by introducing new shit all the time)

The Red Pill is a brand. As Whisper always says, if the endorsed core could steal our lunches and take our women from us, they would. Like Wendler, they'll push whatever expands the brand and will appear to increase their own influence and whatever can be potentially monetized. That's it. They don't give a flying fuck about us. They've said as much. Well many have said as much. Anything that might help you but doesn't help monetize the brand ( Jordan Peterson, sex robots, escorts, other versions of Married Red Pill advocates, etc, etc) are denounced.

By overcomplicating things, it forms new material to sell you an ebook about. Much of the jist treats women as anything but a lagging indicator.

The other "overcomplication" is nearly every modern American scenario with women is turning into a lose/lose situation. As redpillschool said once, after MeToo, being Alpha is no longer a safeguard. Women simply present themselves as a constant "threatpoint" But if you push that too much, you can't monetize that either.

Women have a "dual sexual strategy" i.e. AF/BB.

The modern American male IMHO will also, over time, have a dual strategy. Amass resources/wealth. Then use escorts for sexual release without the complication of dealing too much with low quality thots/Stacies and surrogates for bearing children without the complications of marriage/divorce. I'm not advocating anyone break any laws in their area/city/country. I am saying it is a sexual strategy, the most guaranteed one, the oldest profession at work, but will be denounced here ( under the frame of backlash from Reddit itself as a cover) because it can't be monetized unless guys want to turn into pimps instead of ebook/T shirt peddlers.

There are times The Red Pill is it's own shit test. Like it's own video game. Little dopamine hits. Mini achievements to seek. And the sacrifice of frame at times for external validation. If TRP was treated truly as a tool box, self improvement would come first and then the fallout with women would fine, any choice, as long as it was true to the person and their frame. For some, it would still mean marriage. For some, having kids. For some, spinning plates. For some, banging escorts. For some, just opting out of it because of the diminishing returns on their situation.

As soon as the average American women reduced herself to being nothing more than a sue happy screaming/nagging landwhale low quality entitled thot looking to cash out with free gifts and prizes, it just changed the price structure of being a whore. Most guys wouldn't just hand over money for the sex and savings in time, but also just for the fucking silence. In court of public opinion, you can't "rape" or sexually harass or be MeToo'ed by an escort. More men are using them, more men will use them. This is the new male "dual sexual strategy" in play. TRP can either try to jump into this somehow and monetize some version of it or get left behind.

TRP discusses SOME sexual strategy. The some it can use to maximize the benefits for itself.

My take is the best version of you first. Fuck everyone who doesn't like it. Then find out what works for you that honors that best version of you from ALL sexual strategy.

No one here is on your side. And like anyone not on your side, they can all go fuck themselves if they don't like how you want to live your life.

[–]Ballosaurus 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

solved problem ever-changing landscape

These seem incongruent to me. Can you please explain the latter?

[–]Psychocist 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy


That's why I say the only reason to continue pontificating is due to how the world is constantly changing, as are men and women and society, and, consequently, so is the game.

But, on a primal level, in terms of the feminine imperative, in terms of long-standing behaviour of women, we know why they behave the way they do. Therefore, we have solved this BS feminine mystique. They are no mystery.

[–][deleted] 88 points89 points  (6 children) | Copy

Absolutely agree. Every Woman is different. Every person is different. What makes you YOU is unique. Trying to be someone else, trying to pretend to be James Bond is just come across as fake.

It's easier to list the big "no-nos" and then say go out and try, rather than telling people what works for them.

  1. Desperation.
    This is the biggest killer of your potential. Not just with Women, but in life. Being desperate or needy will cause alienation of those you want, and mark you as a victim to those who want to take advantage of you.

  2. Fake/Bullshitting
    Unless you're a high functioning sociopath or extremely accomplished narcissist then people are going to see straight through you. Acting mean and moody if you're not naturally a mean and moody person is just going to make you look like a douche. People will talk about it behind your back. Eventually even sociopaths and narcissists get called out. Avoid it.

  3. Vanity
    Confidence is highly attractive. Arrogance and vanity isn't. There's a fine line. If you don't know where that line is, you're probably already over it.

  4. Bitterness/Moodiness
    Nobody likes a crybaby. Nobody. Nobody enjoys being around someone who is soul destroyingly negative, who complains about everything, who believes they are hard done to. Take life on the chin, make the best of the hand you've got. People like being around good losers more than they ever will sour 2nd placers.

  5. Far too competitive.
    There are no prizes for having the biggest gravestone. If you validate your life by how attractive your lays are, how big your penis is, how much you can drink, how easy you can knock someone out, how many people like your selfies then you've got the wrong end of the stick. There will always be someone better and bigger than you, and age will creep up on you and take it all away, and you'll be like King Canute, trying to stop the tide of time drowning you. Take it easy.

  6. Way too serious/neurotic
    Dating should be fun. Life should be fun. Sex should be fun. Friends should be fun. Work should be fun. Do things because you want to do them, not because you believe it's the right social thing to do. Getting upright about every little detail will lead to stress, and stress will kill you.

Those are 6 things that will turn off 80-90% of Women. I can't say 100% because, well, people are people, and some Women will be into some those things, because you have something in common with them, but rest assured it will be a destructive partnership.

If you can avoid them as best you can, you'll already be ahead of at least 50% or more your competition. If not more.

Just be yourself, if you're a geek, don't pretend you're not. There are plenty of Women into Geeky stuff. Don't change who you are because a few idiots with all the issues above are being critical of you. Be the best God damn geek you can ever be. That shows confidence, integrity and passion.

The only REAL way to learn about love, life is to go out and live and love. The journey itself should be fun, it's all part of the experience. Practice until you get your own pitch nailed down pat. Expect failures to occur. It's unreasonable and narcissistic to expect instant perfection.

Hence why I gave the list above, avoid those, and life should be sweet.

Have fun

[–]NeckbeardVirgin6917 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think the most difficult one on this list is learning to have fun. I’ve been told by many people that I’m too serious and need to learn to have fun, but I don’t really know how to suddenly have fun doing the same things I’ve become accustomed to not having fun doing.

But yeah, good list.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) If you don’t find it fun, I think you should try but don’t force it. If you’ve tried and feel it’s not for you, it’s your opinion of it. Own that opinion. Be comfortable with it. Like clubbing and theme parks are boring for me. It’s okay.

2) Sometimes we don’t have fun because we are worried about the opinion of others and how we are perceived. Let loose, be silly for a bit. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more confident you appear to be.

[–]joelkyu5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

The one that hit me the hardest would be about not being too competitive. For a solid 18 years, my whole self worth is pretty much validated on how big those number are on my report card and how high ranked my unicersity I could get into. It's really hard for me to reprogram myself, especially when my self esteem and confidence is directly tied with the stuff I do.

[–]NeckbeardVirgin692 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you. Even being funny has been like a competition for me. Like there’s pressure for me to crack a joke in certain scenarios or I consider it a personal loss.

Though I have improved my overall attitude toward competitiveness by doing more things I’m bad at but can enjoy. For example I’m not good at playing golf, so I was able to relax my competitive nature a bit by playing it more often.

[–]moltenw4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just be yourself, if you're a geek, don't pretend you are not.

What absolute bullcrap.

I was addicted to vidya from age 8-17, breathed that lifestyle every single day, etc. I never considered myself too geeky, but by all merits, I was.

Fast forward 2 years, I have my life for the most part together, Im lifting 4 times a week, eating healthy, never been happier and actually having real ambitions and good social connections with both genders.

You know what I think? You haven't pushed yourself far enough. To me, this sounds like a good-feel hamster upvote comment that a lot of people here will want to agree with since they haven't tried hard to actually change their lives. It's a process, a process you need to be thinking each and every single day to actually eventually get there.

I doubt you think that of the 280k subscribers on this forum are all redpilled. It's ridiculous. Even in my younger stages when I introduced some people to this place, they read for a few weeks and just left, or only checked in every 5 days instead of actually started to change themselves for real.

You see, the human brain can adapt to anything if you force it hard enough. The question is - are you capable of that?

If you like pizza a lot, don't tell people to "keep eating it since you like it." No, fuck that. Make your brain go through hurdles until you don't feel a need for eating it anymore.

[–]omega_dawg9377 points78 points  (1 child) | Copy

how i explained 'abundance mentality' to my 15 yr old nephew:

"do you need a job? if so, where do you want to work? would you fill-out just ONE application for that particular job with that particular company... or are you gonna hit the internet and apply with MULTIPLE companies for various jobs (that you may/may not like) to increase your chances of employment?"

his reply... i'll have better chances if i use the internet. i then said, use that same method with women... throw a big cast net out there and reel it in. some stay, some go, but you're not focused on one special girl. don't use any energy on one single fish; instead, focus your energy on reorganizing your net and casting it out again.

[–]TonytheNetworker27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

"The reason I'm saying this is because a lot of different shit can work for getting women. So to sit here and say only do this or say exactly that is overcomplicating things. We're turning newbies to this sub into robots. They read, "do this" and it gets a bunch of upvotes. And that's then all they do and never know if other ways can work better for them."

To me this is the highlight of the post. Some people need to realize there's no fixed rule or certain way to go about things, particularly talking to women. Every situation is different and it's foolish to think just because it worked for one guy, it will universally work for others.

[–]Denver_Luv425 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy

This again. See Krauser's post Reveal vs Restructure.

So why the divergence in opinion? I think it comes down to which side of this divide you fall on. Is your Journey a process of:

  • Uncovering a pre-existing SMV and personality that is attractive to women, or;

  • Ridding yourself of a Pussy Repellent virus and then building an attractive man from scratch.

The tChads are normal men with normal social skills and outlook and inhabit bodies that are reasonably attractive to a wide range of women. Some will require more work than others but all are building on a strong base. It’s like cooking a meal starting with fresh organic high quality ingredients. These men already have decent value, they just lack a Value Delivery Mechanism*** Teaching them Game is like having an out-of-shape teenage Usain Bolt show up on his first day of Learn To Sprint School. They have to put in the work but the rewards are almost immediate. There’s never any real struggle.

In contrast, fChumps are a broken mess and the older they are upon discovering Game the more traumatic the transformation **** Whereas tChad just needs a daygame model and a shove in the back to start opening, fChump needs a complete overhaul of his entire personality and lifestyle. It’s like the difference between giving your house a lick of paint vs ripping out the entire edifice because every wooden board and beam is infested with woodworm and damp. They are not the same process.

Whether you need to "overcomplicate" things depends on where you start from. Start from a low enough base, and it will take enormous effort to improve.

"Where you start from" is important. I wrote Open or poly relationships from the superior position or inferior position because, for a bottom guy, pursuing or accepting this is madness. But for a guy who is worried about medium and long-term retention and who wants a lot of lovers, this is a potential retention tool. Players know that the "Where is this going?" conversation is the end of many uncommitted relationships.

[–]25toten9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

As someone who started from nearly the bottom, its taken at least two years to get to where I'm at, confident in my abilities, charismatic, not changing who I am for any girl; not falling for 'oneitis' shit.

These are traits some guys just already possess. Some of us take years to overturn bad behaviors. The starting point is definitely different for each guy and each guy will go about their progress differently, with varying results.

The most important thing is that you're trying to improve, and to not give up.

[–]NormalAndy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is also the point where you realise that getting the girls is just a red pill hook- a trailing indicator amongst many showing how far along the path you are towards becoming your best self. I'm sure many drop out after PUA and game- then come back 10 years later having accidentally got hitched and beta'd out.

[–]jagdecat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. I'm the entire remodeling and transformation required person. Wouldn't have understood from top posts and side bar alone

Never was as good in my youth as I'm now and it's just been 6 months.

[–]inevitableworkout7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now THIS is alpha.

Being the best version of yourself still means *being yourself*. Trying to impress them by being someone else only makes you even needier, because deep down you internalize that women are so important in your life that you are willing to change yourself entirely only for their validation. Being better means loving yourself and acting to improve your life, like lifting and eating clean (improve your health), building a career (improve your quality of life), socializing with both women and man (improve your social circle) etc.

The rest is only a consequence of the frame you built so far improving your life. Game comes naturally after this point.

[–]jbot002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

K.I.S.S - keep it simple stupid. I use this a lot.

[–]zyqkvx4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Move On"

So many guys think of 'no' as a hard rejection. Sometimes it is. Who cares. Hard rejections are often for exterior reasons that have nothing to do with you like: they are actually happy with a guy they are with, or they have a thing for guys 5 years older than you, or her mom is being a bitch right now and she better ride things out for a week. Whatever.

Much of the time a rejection is a good thing. They reject you because they can tell you aren't a sucker who would provide for the child you don't know they have, or you lack some kinda other sucker traits. Or they are a HB6 hot mess who can only hook up if it's a humiliating pump and dump so they only talk to 9+ men as a way to mask their failures. Or they just like bitching 'there are no men' from a pedestal because it makes them feel like they have worth.

Those aren't rejections. Those are dodged bullets.

Even talking to people platonicly is taking risks. I'm always chatting strangers up of all types and ages. It's not that hard. Yet about 5% of the time I get a sudden surprise. An old fat trucker guy has a half gallon of almond milk in his hand. I grab a half gallon and say 'This is great stuff'. Maybe I'm not even sure why I said that. Suddenly guy doesn't respond and turns his back on me and walks off. wtf, did he think I was hitting on him or some shit? Later I see him walking around the store using a lot of loser body language. He's just miserable and likes to be condescending to feel better. No big deal.

A few days ago I was at a bar playing pinball. The whole time there's this 7 year old boy running around like a madman and a single mother with a pucked face nearby. I'm thinking this boy is too caged at home and that I have to work on not hating single mothers. I don't want to talk directly to the boy, so I go up to the single mother (she's surrounded with 4-5 other uglish people). I say, "There's a credit on that pinball machine he can play". She looks right at me and says smuggly, "No thank you". Surprised by her rouse I say "OK" and leave walking upright, unfazed. I'm not sure but I think she was trying to act like I was hitting on her and rejecting me in front of her friends. As long as I don't look insulted I come out fine. She had no chance to begin with but that still in the 'dodged a bullet' category.

Short version: I agree with OP. Don't overanalyze. Be like a goldfish about this stuff. Women have the attention of a goldfish from being addicted to facebook. I have a goldfish attention span for 'rejections'.

[–]Frich31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

your story about the single woman really resonates with me.. I think those are the worse. When women who aren't even attractive all of a sudden get this boost of confidence at the bars like they are hot shit, because a few simps try and hit on them. They go to the bars seeking validation from these guys because they know during the day time at the mall or in the library, no one will give them the time of day. I always find myself either laughing and just walking away, or saying that I have a gf or that they arent my type.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Plot Twist: They're over complicating things because they enjoy the fantasy of becoming "Alpha" much more than the real act. Therefore the Real act is perpetually delayed so that the fantasy can continue.

The irony here is that even your don't over complicate things Realist Reductionism is gunna be used by our spergs to complicate things and enjoy the fantasy of becoming Alpha.

Here's a more in-depth explaination

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, Have you ever done acid? Because if you haven’t I think you should give it a try. You might tap into an I reached level of consciousness.

Although I think you’re right in the grand scheme of things. I think a lot of guys come in here and try focusing on all the hours of shit they just read and then don’t know what direction to go in. I think this is a good main focus or grounding points, at least start to the fantasy. 😂

[–]SanPedroLover_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LSD is amazing but Mescaline is more beautiful

[–]1scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll second the acid recommendation. Have some in my freezer right now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

agree, but this post is over complicating how to not be over complicated lol

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I touch on that in the tldr lol

[–]1atticusfinch19731 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Completely agree with your statement that everything is contextual. Most of the "advice" on ask trp (and this sub) comes from guys under 25 with very little experience in real relationships and dealing with real people. Once you're here long enough you figure out who actually knows what they are talking about and can back it up with experience and application.

My game and approach is quite different than most would talk about here but it works for me just fine. That's probably because I'm older and deal with entirely different situations than a guy in his 20's just starting the process would.

Probably one of the best lessons I learned here is to be genuine to who you really are and don't be ashamed of it - just live your life the best way you want to.

[–]yammyha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I believe recognizing self-value and enjoying the moment sums your post up. Too many newbies focus on the gratification of pussy rather than focus on building value in their own image to be the best of themselves. The easiest thing to work on is courage; spreading good vibes making people around you "feel" attractive.

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As far as texting goes. Just look at what you would normally do and see yourself as the man of the hour. Remember in Shakespeare, all the worlds a stage and all the men and women are merely players. Some women have life’s and dictate who is going to be in the male gender role, don’t upset yourself over her rejection. Abundance is key.

"I frequently encourage recovering Nice Guys to be just who they are, without reservation...The people who like them just as they are will hang around. The people who don't, won't. This is the only way to have a healthy relationship." _No more mr nice guy,

[–]BlastedBastads0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the most important part of your post is the “get in touch with yourself”. I dint post here often but this is the post ive agreed most with since i started reading about a month ago. Dont lose yourself for a girl or 10 for that matter; self improvement should always be the goal.

[–]tomic8880 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

The reality is that we live in a world where everyone would like a nice short list of bullet points to tell them how to succeed with anything. That's why articles starting with 'These 7 things will help you...' attract much more attention than 'These things will help you...'. You always want a definite self-contained info that hopefully contains everything you need to know.

It doesn't work like that. Even TRP is not only not a definite resource that contains everything you have to know; but its also not exactly on point, its just getting there or near the truth.

You have to try things out, read a lot and tweak stuff a bit. At the end of the day hundreds of articles on TRP can be condensed and explained in a more general way.

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

GLO gave a less “well no shit” response to this. Which I said. I agree with but Everyone needs a place to start and a main focus so when shit starts going off they tracks they have a place to reground themselves. I feel like this is that place. These two things.

Clearly there’s a lot of information on this sub and it’s all can’t be simplified into this one post. But somethings can be simpler. Especially when you first find this place.

It’s like learning to ride a bike. You have training wheels so your main focus is “Pedal and steer” once you get that down you can go into other parts. “Braking, balancing, Leaning, wheelies” but in the end your baseline is pedal and steer. It’s the most important or you’re not moving.

[–]tomic8881 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

True. What I mean is even though many articles can be simplified into a few theorems, you cannot really understand those theorems if you haven't gone through all the details.

If this is my first time on the TRP and I've read this article I wouldn't really understand what you meant. But having read in more details what is frame etc; now the more general propositions make perfect sense.

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should always start at the sidebar and go from there

[–]professor_mcamateur0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

was going to post a question about frame/confidence on asktrp, but i dont always understand the lingo used in the sidebar as it is written.

of course women like confidence. so be confident. check.

how does a person know what is "too much" if you are just "faking it until you make it" i.e. being arrogant in ways that aren't attractive and come off as needy. also, couldn't a person argue that even the douchey frat-boy kind of arrogance that a lot of women respond to positively, that that is insecure?

of course, the best advice is to just "be yourself"

my question is about holding frame while after seeing somebody a few times, she wants to do "next level" relationship things (hanging out with her friends and family, talking about committment, etc) as it seems arrogant in a way to completely brush off any suggestion of a possible LTR. but if you just play dumb and say something like, "i didnt know u wanted more" i dont know if that seems too honest or too disengenous.

then again i've never been at that point in a relationship so im just speculating

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This by far is the most important rule for most Americans especially. Know when you tend to overthink, think, do things thoughts help reach my goals? Ask urself if these are thoughts u want, if it's neither u have overthought, it's okay laugh at it then get back to reality.

[–]madmattmen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Needed this right now. Got stood up tonight and long story short had a beta moment. I will save his post and read it over and over.

Still learning and internalizing this shit.

Good post, thanks.

[–]dulkemaru510 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I reckon that it's good for people, completely new to the material, to ingest as much info from as many angles as possible.

It's easier for someone like you, who's digested the wisdom for a while, to break down everything that you've learned into just two foundational points.

The goal is to not rely on any mantras at all but to internalize everything. This was a good post, it's true that overthinking and overcomplicating will hamper your performance, but there's nothing magical about 1. Frame and 2. Non-neediness. Not saying that you think there is. But you know what I'm saying. my personal opinion though, if one was to hold two ideas in mind while gaming girls, those two would be the best.

[–]ajayhemant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best and most difficult thing to digest from this forum is that it's actually quite easy to get women!

Yes don't overcomplicate

More normal you treat any girl, more special she treats you!

Hotter the girl, better it becomes and yeah easier it gets!

[–]teabagabeartrap0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I can relate so much to this. Very good posting.

One question I have... Did you ever had a oneitis? I lived the same life for the last years like you described it. Worked very well... and then one girl blew me out of my shoes. long story short. She didn't want a relationship, but to fuck other guys too. I said I loved her and put and told her all appointments are cancelled, because I really didn't want to have any me being a pussy about the others...

I still think of that girl and sometimes question myself, if the fun times with the others is worth it. I rather would like to be with the one that didn't jump on the train...

[–]lazydogg90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Where can the abundance mentality the applied apart from women?

[–]111Dx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After reading this I am thinking : If I do my own thing now because I read a post about doing my own thing. Isn't that just copying again?

Now I am thinking that I am overthinking and over-complicating things by thinking it in the first place.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yea sometimes I feel like reading this shit has fucked me up in some ways. Gonna take a long break and do things my way to see just how valid all this shit is, because I swear my natural game is better than things I’ve learned here.

[–]Endorsed ContributorReddJive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I take the summers off of Reddit. Live life. Takes some lumps learn my lessons come back and share.

Remember life is out there. Not in here.

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just took 7 months off. You have to sometimes

[–]potatorockstar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and what do women bring on the table? nothing. you worship false gods and waste a lifetime that noone will give you back

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Non-neediness is the key to happiness. It's been said in every philosophy and religion since time immortal. Let go of what you think you need/want and when you truly DGAF that same thing you thought you wanted is yours for the taking.

It's the need for said thing that blocks one from having it

[–]datingtransformation0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey, really solid post, RenGod37. Thanks for this burst of light.

You touched on one of those true-isms in dating, in life, in so many arenas: Make things as simple as they need to be. There's an elegance in simplicity, and it gets results.

I used to be TERRIBLE with women, so I spent a decade training with the top dating gurus. I learned what to do, and what NOT to do. And I learned the power of the simplicity.

One well-known "PUA" taught me some super powerful ninja moves, but he also jammed my head chockfull of technique, technique, technique. And it made my game WORSE for a while.

Most dating and “pickup” coaches teach technique, technique, technique. They fill your head with more information, and it’s only hurting you.

Technique is like the band U2: important but way overrated.

So, achtung, baby! You're not doing dead-lifts or hitting flop shots from deep rough or landing a DC-10. You’re talking to a girl. Less technique is MORE.

Lack of technique is not your enemy. Your true enemy is too much technique.

For MOST guys, success with women and dating is 80% psychology, 20% technique. (Hell, it might be 90/10!)

Here's a quote from a blog post I wrote: "Women already like you. You already know how to attract women. Evolution hard-wired it into you. Men and women are drawn to each other. You don’t learn attraction so much as you forget what’s causing interference, resistance and fear."

It's like Aristotle said: "Learning is remembering."

Here's a link to that post about simplicity, if you wanna check it out:

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_77910 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A big part of a strong frame is confidence. It's easy for someone to say "just be confident" when you're already there. I'm in the process of building mine up. I went from no confidence to some. Maybe you're not the best person to ask since you've always been a natural so maybe you've always been confident. But I'm interested in a post on how to build confidence. Glad you're back buddy.

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No way I wasn’t always confident at all. Look at my previous post. I wrote about confidence. It won’t let me link it here

[–]rastafarian10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

TLDR: Get off the internet.

[–]knowledge-seeker270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is why I love tren’s post shame he doesn’t write much. I guess it’s quality over quantity

[–]ten-bible0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Strong frame

Many people here don't understand frame, you included. Frame isn't a building frame. It's a picture frame. Don't understand that? You don't understand frame.

Frame has nothing to do with being an unshakeable confident rock. The Disney Channel and most women's magazines tell men to "be confident." Yes you should, but that's so vague it's useless.

Frame is your reality & how you relate to each other. You can "make up" a phony frame and IMPOSE that on the people around you, if you are cocksure. Think Jim Jones getting people to drink the Koolaid (bad example maybe). The "frame" you impose could be you're "begging" for shit ... you can impose a frame of "weakness" (not all frames are for getting pussy). Here frame has been co-opted to mean "be confident dude". Yeah ... no.

Good vibe

Yes, simple and basically the fundamentals. End of the day, it's all about vibe. Don't project negative feelings or be a sour puss. At least not as the main vibe.

text specifics

Eh, fuck that. I used to care. If getting laid depends on the precise wording of your text, you're too much on the edge of fuckability. You should be so high level that it's fucking irrelevant and even if you aren't, you shouldn't give a fuck anyway. I've "persuaded" unsure girls to come meet up sometimes with text game, but I'd rather be at an attraction level where a girl is clamoring for my dick and will drive an hour to do so. Took me a while to figure this one out. You think if Jennifer Lawrence texted you to come fuck, you'd give a shit exactly how she worded it? Work on big stuff first. Plug tiny holes later if you care.

shit tests

Never think about or mention shit tests ever again. There, you just passed them all.

Don't get sucked into irrational bullshit. That's all that is. If a (guy or girl) insults you or mistrusts you, agree with it. These are just speechcraft/ verbal sparring tactics in general but forget shit test bullshit.

don't need anything from her

True, but difficult to learn. Many men will play aloof. But ultimately they do want to fuck her. This is just a zen thing. Make no apologies for wanting to fuck women; for wanting to fuck the woman right in front of you. However, hopefully you are getting laid enough (or have an interesting life) -- where you just don't care that much. Think of it like a great pizza. Yes, you want to eat the pizza. Will you drive an hour to eat it? Humiliate yourself to eat it? Meh. Nah.

be a lot of fun, down to earth

Self-amuse. Don't be focused on HER fun, be focused on your fun. This isn't a Jedi mind trick, it's simply America first. Haha jk. I mean --- you want dating to be fun. So fucking self amuse. If she's a sour puss, so be it ... sucks to be her! DO not become a dancing monkey/ clown show. Trust me, it's a kindness. If the girl was 100% focused on self-amusement instead of "anxiously trying to make sure the date was fun for you" ... you'd also find it much more enjoyable. One of those paradoxes.

[–]naIamgood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This applies to life in general as well.

[–]NotHighEnuf-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

What the fuck did I just read? I don't think you understand how women process things, my dude...

[–]conflagratorX-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry but it is hard to take advice from guy who claims he was always natural yet he take roids and is addicted to opiates. Both of them affects your behavior in way you are more confident and happy (at least short term), which are desired traits.

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I never once in my life claimed natty to anyone. And I don’t use opiates anymore. But hey man do you

[–]Youngyoda89-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing revolutionary here. Is the purpose of this post to repeat what has been said here, countless times, already?

[–]Cantloginhere-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Been acting like I don't give a shit for years. The only interest I get are from women that weigh more than me, and I'm 80k. Sounds like 'Just say hi Dude' advice to me.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sub is going full blue pill. Post after post, reply after reply. What happened?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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