Almost every single man here has had that one girl who he thought was the world, who ended up breaking his heart and ended up driving him here to find answers.
I see that this a question that gets brought up on askTRP on almost a daily basis, and I want to help because I know that pain. That pain of either knowing that a girl you're crazy about doesn't give a shit about you, or the pain of slowly coming to know your Disney dream of a perfect marriage is just never going to come true.
Sometimes we see the red flags that the love of our life really just isn't what we thought it would be, but we try to stick it out anyway in hopes that all the fairy tale happily ever after apple pie life stories are true. That someday our one and only will be with you forever.
Believe me, I know that feeling. I too had a girl my life revolved around. But one day I found out that I was not her one and only, past or present, despite her being mine. She didn't think of how her actions in her past would affect her supposed to be future husband. It tore me apart, but I couldn't leave her because I had it so ingrained in my head that people's pasts didn't matter and that I was the one with a problem.
This on-the-fence agony of debating whether the love of my life's past was worth the pain of staying with her or not is what drove me to start seeking advice, from anyone I knew and eventually on the internet. I found TRP, and though not yet ready to leave her, slowly I began to understand. I began to realize my 'problems' weren't problems at all but instead my own instincts telling me over and over that this girl was not for me.
And I left.
I finally got the courage to leave an otherwise "perfect" girl for me because TRP finally showed me that my standards for a happy and healthy relationship were perfectly acceptable; that I was not the bad guy. I had to tell myself over and over again that it was for the best, and this is what you need to do. You need to realize that staying in a relationship or yearning over one girl, in a sea of billions just like her, that just brings you constant pain, is not for the best. That there are others like her. Others that will be better looking, treat you better. I had to tell myself this every night religiously.
I would look around my room on quiet, peaceful days and I would see her standing there, in her cute outfit and her perky smile, and I'd realize she'd never be there again. And I'd cry. But that's what I had to do, and if you need to do it, then cry your fucking heart out man. Get it all out. Just remember when your done, it is for the best, remember the reasons you had to leave and stick with them. You will find another, better one. Be true to yourself and your standards. Eventually it will get easier, you'll start talking to other women and once you wholeheartedly realize that all women are like that, you will never get oneitis or another bad relationship ever again.
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